The Dumbest News Headlines Of 2005

[Jai Dee]

THE YEAR'S DUMBEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:

Crack Found On Governor's Daughter

[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

[ That'll stop 'em. ]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

[Not if I wipe thoroughly or use the bum gun!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

[No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

[Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Su spect Homicide

[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!

[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

[He probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

[Taste like chicken?]

Local High SchoolDropouts Cut In Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

[suegha]

"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"

I agree, this is the best of all. But they were all funny...

[Chopper]

Very funny indeed! Like it.