Why Do Some Thais Walk 20-30 Paces Behind Their Farang Partner?

[jackflash]

I've noticed this frequently.

I think there are two main reasons:

- It's a mark of respect in many countries for the woman to follow the man.

- It's down right dangerous to walk side-by-side on narrow streets or where there aren't footpaths..

And of course, a third reason could be that some Thai ladies don't want to be seen walking with a western guy.

Edited June 7, 2013 by jackflash

[arminbkk]

maybe the guy did not want to be seen with her and this was his subtle approach

[Joe Mamma]

My woman was docile and timid and lagged behind me meticulously. I brought her to live in USA for 12 years and then back to Thailand for good.

Now I have a boot up my ass if I lag behind. I miss the old days sometimes.

[monkeycountry]

I experience the exact same thing quite often with my GF, and coincidentially I know it is not because she is embarassed about being with me. I know this, as quite often she insists on holding hands while walking in public, even when it is crowded. I on the other hand do not like holding hands, partly because it gives sweaty palms, and partly because it is inconvenient when walking in a crowd.
The simply answer in my case is that I have longer legs, and naturally walk at a different pace than her. I grew up in a cold country, so one gets used to walking fast in order to build up body heat to keep warm and to get indoor as quick as possible. I can slow down for a short while, but I automatically pick up pace again without even thinking about it, and then I stop and wait for her to keep up - none of us see this as a problem. She on the other hand can walk faster for a short while to keep up with me, but will then automatically slow down to her natural pace once her mind goes elsewhere. Further she grew up in warm Thailand, where walking slow makes sense, as it keeps the body heat down (if exposed to direct sunlight she don't mind running in order to get into the shade).

People who have small kids often have the same problem. The kids have short legs, so the parents have to walk slow, or the kids will soon start crying.

[Minnehaha]

very short legs

[monkeycountry]

I have just asked the girls at my office (of all ages). There is no Thai cultural thing that says who has to walk in front or behind. A couple of them have been with a foreigner, and say that when they first met they would keep their distance as they worried other Thais would look at them, but once their relationships progressed, they no longer cared.

[maddermax]

Having been married in the appropriate way to a Thai woman I think I can clarify this point.

Thai society is really very Victorian in its attitudes. When courting a woman, there is supposed to be chaperone present at all times. Women are also not supposed to smoke. A dowry is usually payable to a girl's parents to marry her.

The other, seedier, side of society is completely different and a Thai hooker will walk alongside her man, holding his hand and making up to him, sometimes smoking. So, to differentiate themselves from the hookers, married women will often walk a few paces behind their husband and will not make any physical contact at all in public.

It is really exasperating for farang men who are used to having a woman keep up alongside but you have to get used to it.

Hope this helps.

[salapau]

Interesting as I experienced this a few years ago. After a few visits here I met a woman who worked in Mae Rim and we got together. Whenever I returned to meet up again we stayed in Chiang Mai and every time we went out she dressed down and walked behind me. Despite the fact that she didn't speak English, I had learned a little Thai. After asking her about this she advised she thought that was what I wanted, I thought what a load of nonsense. The next time we were due to go out I told her that she either walked with me or in front of me as this was old fashioned English courtesy, or she could stay in the hotel. She changed and we're now married.

What I don't understand is the Thai's have no manners or idea of being courteous. I still say please and thank you and open the door for women to go before me. Never a thank you all thet want is to get in or out berfore me and don't care about others, a bit like their driving and their outlook on life.

[PeVee1st]

Thai bar girls always walk behind the current customer, so that when a former customer walking towards them looks at the girl it will give the bar girl a chance to look away and not be seen by the current punter. Thus saving an explanation to the current punter as to why the other guy is looking is looking at his honey.

[IMHO]

Embarrassment or just plain Shame - take your pick.

[Tatsujin]

Next time you observe it happening, go right to the source and ask either him or her . . . problem solved.

[OldChinaHam]

OK, I have got your answer right here. The reason why people of all types walk faster or slower depends on the size of the city in which they grew up. The larger and more compressed the population, then the more the rate of their gate quickens.

This is no joke, folks.

It has been measured

It has been found that walkers in New York City, Manhattan walk far faster than citizens from Barcelona.

In the same culture, such as the US where they did the comparisons, NYC walkers were walking faster than those from Tampa.

There seems to be a fairly predictable correlation between the size of the city, the number of people in the city, and the walking speed.

I love HK because everyone walks pretty fast and the girls stay slim and trim, and you can look at their legs as you stand behind on the outdoor escalators.

If you want to read the study, the research, you can find it on the web.

(Naturally, CM girls walk slower than BKK girls. For this very reason.)

Edited June 7, 2013 by OldChinaHam

[Tatsujin]

Having been married in the appropriate way to a Thai woman I think I can clarify this point.

I have to ask maddermax . . . what would be the "inappropriate" way to be married to a Thai woman?

[ben2203]

I have just asked the girls at my office (of all ages). There is no Thai cultural thing that says who has to walk in front or behind. A couple of them have been with a foreigner, and say that when they first met they would keep their distance as they worried other Thais would look at them, but once their relationships progressed, they no longer cared.

Some people observe it, I know for a fact but it's not that big of a deal I guess.

What they say sounds plausible, maybe just ask the girl why she does it

[animatic]

It would likely be an employee of significantly lower status, trying to maintain their self-perceived position relative to the boss, so other Thais don't think they are getting uppity from her station. The description of the woman seems to fit this scenario. A mate might walk a pace behind, but not much more if at all.

[masuk]

if s/he's Thai, they busy texting someone!!!

[IMHO]

LOL, you lot sure are good at burying the truth you know (that the girls are embarrassed) with all sorts of alternate theories

If you're still going to try and fool yourself it's some other reason, spend the next few days more closely observing Thai-Thai couples. Even a 60yo Thai man with a 20yo Thai woman, will still be walking side by side.

From my POV as a Thai, it's very simple - if I see a young Thai girl with an old farang, against all other forms of judgement, I still make the base assumption she is a prostitute/gold digger. I don't think I'm so different to other Thai people, and certainly the Thai partner of a farang would understand this is going to be popular Thai opinion of her.

The age gap does matter though - I have seen several closely matched (age-wise) Thai-Farang couples in their 20's or 30's and simply think that they're a sweet couple They are always walking side-by-side or even hand-in-hand, and appear to be enjoying each others company though

Edited June 7, 2013 by IMHO

[belg]

she/he is targetting he/she for a quick pants or wallet release

[AnotherOneAmerican]

When out walking with 'hired company' grab their hand and tow them along.

Alternatively, if not all that in a rush to get them to the hotel, just walk off.

[rosst]

My theory is checking out their ar8e?? LOL

[Briggsy]

It is a subconscious expression of not really wanting to be with the farang, they would rather be elsewhere, doing something else and most importantly with someone else.

Either that or the damn farang is walking way too fast yet again.

[marell]

It is a subconscious expression of not really wanting to be with the farang, they would rather be elsewhere, doing something else and most importantly with someone else.

Either that or the damn farang is walking way too fast yet again.

+1

[hansnl]

20 to 30 paces behind. How could you even determine they were together?

Is this the only instance you've observed?

Could you simply ask the person why they're walking so far behind?

I can't recall ever noticing this but then maybe I'm not as observant as you?

Well, I was wating for my massage person to show up, so I was basically wasting time, walking around. NO THIS IS NOT THE ONLY INSTANCE I HAVE OBSERVED. I have lived here nearly 10 years, and have ALWAYS wondered why this happens. I saw they were clearly together, because I saw, when the man totally stopped walking, the woman would catch up and talk with him about whatever, and then they would gradually fall back into the situation I described. I could clearly also see him slowing down, half turning towards her, as if expecting her to catch up, and she would just slow down.

She wasn't shopping, it seemed to me she was just keeping her distance purposely. I know not all Thai ladies do this. I have had this happen to me, with various people, including men. No matter how many times I expressed that walking behind me, was not okay with me, as in, I might want to actually TALK to them....like I am PAYING them to work for me, and would like to be able to TALK, and being near by me, might be an advantage in that case, they still continue to walk so far behind. Is this a sign they are pissed off? I think it is. Personally, I think it is a sign to other Thais, that "I am just working for this fool" but maybe I am wrong??

I presume this is one way or another a sign from the Thai person she is not with the farang.

See it many times, not 20 steps, but many times behind the man.

Maybe it is one of those face thingees

However, you always recognise Thai women connected to a farang.

They dress different, move different, seen to be more self concious, self assured.

What I hate however is the leering faces of other farang if I am walking around with my daughter, or daughters.

Edited June 7, 2013 by hansnl

[Old Croc]

One of her other boyfriends is in town and she doesn't want to be spotted with the current one.

[AngelsLariat]

20 to 30 paces behind. How could you even determine they were together?

Is this the only instance you've observed?

Could you simply ask the person why they're walking so far behind?

I can't recall ever noticing this but then maybe I'm not as observant as you?

Generally it will be a Thai woman who does that and she'll blame it either on here short legs or on her ridiculous shoes. The only solution that I've found is to hold her hand while walking.

[sfbandung]

Why does this stuff get posted? My wife walks beside me and we normally hold hands. I have never seen this stuff, but I don't hang around shopping centres observing other people. I have my own life to live.

More Thai Visa, "Alll Thais are crap" rubbish. It is supposed to be against the forum rules to rubbish Thais but how do you enforce that when 80% of the comments are anti Thai? Drop the rule or enforce it.

Very tired of this. And the reputation is now worldwide. Want to hear how crap Thais and Thailand is? Log on to Thai Visa.

[transam]

Why does this stuff get posted? My wife walks beside me and we normally hold hands. I have never seen this stuff, but I don't hang around shopping centres observing other people. I have my own life to live.

More Thai Visa, "Alll Thais are crap" rubbish. It is supposed to be against the forum rules to rubbish Thais but how do you enforce that when 80% of the comments are anti Thai? Drop the rule or enforce it.

Very tired of this. And the reputation is now worldwide. Want to hear how crap Thais and Thailand is? Log on to Thai Visa.

If my mrs behaved as yours does I would be worried IN LOS. Especially if she wanted to be draped in gold WHICH l see.

[OldChinaHam]

Why does this stuff get posted? My wife walks beside me and we normally hold hands. I have never seen this stuff, but I don't hang around shopping centres observing other people. I have my own life to live.

More Thai Visa, "Alll Thais are crap" rubbish. It is supposed to be against the forum rules to rubbish Thais but how do you enforce that when 80% of the comments are anti Thai? Drop the rule or enforce it.

Very tired of this. And the reputation is now worldwide. Want to hear how crap Thais and Thailand is? Log on to Thai Visa.

If this is the 80 - 20 rule, then I would say it should be the other way around if anything.

[sugarshishi]

Hi,want to share my experience with woman from issan and going with her to the city is;

-ONE :

If she follow you it is because the farang is the boss she love's him and she take care of him during this walk but she has already a boy friend rather farang or not...

-TWO:

If she walk's with the farang side by side it's because she want's to take care you because she hasn't got a boy friend because she divorced with thai man and got kids...

-THREE:

If you got to follow her to walk side by side that mean's both need to learn each other and both are interested in a long term relationship well done !

[1FinickyOne]

The Thai joke is that they walk behind the man so they can keep him in line with a stick - my mother in USA always walked well behind my father - he was compulsive, she relaxed.