What's the most valuable trait or attribute for living here?

[HardenedSoul]

The first thing that comes to a lot of people's minds would be money but is it really so simple?

The fact that most of us, by dint of relative wealth and/or retirement, are insulated from the day-to-day pressures and stresses most locals have to deal with means that many of us have an inordinate amount of free time in which to amuse ourselves. The absence of the restrictive rules and regulations many of us endured at home means a lot of us pretty much feel like anything goes. For example, if we're caught drink driving, rumour has it that a few hundred baht will see us on your way with no court appearances. If we're caught cheating on wives/GFs, it's no biggie because there's so much supply as to make a woman instantly replaceable.

Sometimes, however, this absence of "order" can be a double-edged sword since it demands that we essentially "self-regulate" but having seen the behaviour of many expats here, one could be forgiven for thinking that these people move here specifically because it's easy to lose the plot. Assuming most TV members didn't come here with this in mind, what do they think are the most valuable traits and/or attributes for a relatively trouble-free existence in this country?

I'll kick off with a few:

Self-reliance and independence

So many come here and last a couple of days or weeks before feeling utterly compelled to shack up with a woman - any woman - often, for nothing more than the company. I guess this isn't such an issue as long as the women aren't trouble but isn't a woman who moves in with a bloke she can barely communicate with after meeting him two or three times likely to be "trouble"? Isn't the ability to be comfortable alone an attribute in a country where most of us don't speak the lingo. Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely, does it?

Moderation

Do some of us actually NEED the control that Western society seeks to exert over us? I mean, how many of us have seen or become acquainted with guys who don't seem to know when to stop drinking (or taking drugs)? Sure there's lots of guys like that at home in the West but, in a country where they'll serve you another drink as long as you can raise it to your lips, aren't guys like that just one binge away from disaster.

Resilience

Many of us complain about the F-word and how it demeans us. Shouldn't we just ignore it? Thais don't realise it's offensive to you because 95% of foreigners that they've met and used the word in front of didn't kick off.

Sure there's plenty more . . . .

[rgs2001uk]

For me personally, a large dollop of cynicism, everyone is out to rip me off, whether Thai or farang, but especially farang.

Seen them all here, e-bayers, day time traders, full time poker players, property experts, boiler room scum, professional pool players, jewellery exporters who have never heard of Chantaburi, etc etc.

Since I stopped frequenting farang areas most of the above are no longer on the radar.

[soi41]

Why should we live by a different set of rules, just because we happen to live in Thailand??

Yes you can maybe pay your way out of a drunk driving offence. But whether back home or in Thailand, I don't do it because it against the law, and morally wrong.

Yes, it easy to find female company, but what company?? If you have no standards whatsoever, I am sure you can find equiliant in the local trailerpark.

So whatever standards, you did apply back home, just transfer them here, and you will be just fine!

I can see no reason to "adjust".

[NanLaew]

Regardless of your wealth, looks or financial resources, I think the only attributes one needs ANYWHERE are self-control and respect for others. Moderation and self-respect are part and parcel of self-control so once you have that sussed, just be mindful of other people's differing opinions, tastes, sensitivities and how they handle (or mishandle) their personal business.

[StreetCowboy]

I'm not sure we should be discussing moderation in the open forum. Personally, I have found moderation better in small doses.

[geriatrickid]

Ignorance is bliss.

Many people who ascend to personal nirvana in Thailand were at the bottom of the heap in their homelands. Therefore, Thailand represents a great leap forward for them.

However, for the people that are "normal", and who wish to have comfortable lives, the bottom line is, don't go to Thailand unless;

1. You have a transferable job skill or,

2. You have the financial resources to maintain the lifestyle you desire and

3. Are emotionally stable, have self discipline and are capable of patience.

The reality is that money is essential to maintaining a quality life in Thailand. Most people would go batty after a year of living in a 1 room fan studio apartment spending their days chasing balloons, the cheapest all you can eat buffets and seeking out the cheapest retailer of Leo. Financial worries and deteriorating personal health are the key driver of the suicides we see reported.

It sucks to be an impoverished foreigner in Thailand. They are treated poorly and are easily trampled. In Thailand, money and social status do matter and if you don't have it, you are treated accordingly.

[soihok]

Basically, we are living in some else's house , Thailand didn't invite any of us Farangs to stay in its country. We chose it, didn't we?

I have turned my back on my home country of the UK, although I am still a passport holder or national.

I have applied for and have been given permission to live in Thailand.

Must say, with all its strange ways, its a far better place to be than the uk (as long as you have the cash).

I left the UK in 92 when I was 26, I had 1800 pounds, I bought a one way ticket to New Dehli with Aeroflot, never looked back or been happier.

[soihok]

I tend to shy away from people with something to prove, farang or thai.

[greg71]

2 things that come to mind are a "stiff upper lip",and dont s%@t in your own backyard ,

[Loptr]

A thick skin or dim wits. Or possibly both.

[EyesWideOpen]

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

[Mooner]

Patience

[GuestHouse]

Self respect.

[Stradavarius37]

Lubricant

[NeverSure]

I wouldn't know. For the life of me I can't understand why, if someone can afford to live in style in his home country, and just travel to Thailand a couple of times a year for extended vacations, he would permanently move.

I do understand that some countries, and the N. US have very cold winters and/or lots of snow or rain. That could be a reason but still that winter can be traded for a long vacation to a warmer spot.

I also understand that some do it for tax purposes in high tax countries and I can understand that.

I have to say that I'm always happy to land in Thailand, and just as happy to get home, where I don't need anyone's permission to be, and where I own my land.

$.02

[StreetCowboy]

Apparently, prejudice.

For me, the only thing I've needed wherever I may have wandered is a job.

[HardenedSoul]

Apparently, prejudice.

For me, the only thing I've needed wherever I may have wandered is a job.

Yeah that keeps most people honest but not all.

A friend of friend got a well-paid job with insurer in BKK. Got here from Blighty, took up his post and got fired within 6 months.

Lost the plot on the freedom to shag around and cheap booze even though he'd visited the country umpteen times.

[soihok]

Apparently, prejudice.

For me, the only thing I've needed wherever I may have wandered is a job.

Me too

[StreetCowboy]

Apparently, prejudice.

For me, the only thing I've needed wherever I may have wandered is a job.

Yeah that keeps most people honest but not all.

A friend of friend got a well-paid job with insurer in BKK. Got here from Blighty, took up his post and got fired within 6 months.

Lost the plot on the freedom to shag around and cheap booze even though he'd visited the country umpteen times.

You can lose the plot anywhere. I read about a chap who went berserk shooting people on a holiday island, and it turns out he was a native of that country. When I have my breakdown, I hope I don't blame the country in which it happens

[Jasun]

Restraint.

[soihok]

Restraint.

Just join in you mean?

[StreetCowboy]

Restraint.

If you need restraint then Thailand is probably not the right place for a successful career. I think a clear focus and specific ambitions would suit you better. There's no harm in going into a sweetshop if you know you only want a quarter of soor plooms, or if you remember you're a paper boy with the evening news

[soihok]

Yes, it certainly is for grown ups, or those without touch on reality and living some dream they think they think its ok to do here but not at "home"

[David48]

Restraint.

If you need restraint then Thailand is probably not the right place for a successful career. I think a clear focus and specific ambitions would suit you better. There's no harm in going into a sweetshop if you know you only want a quarter of soor plooms, or if you remember you're a paper boy with the evening news

StreetCowboy ... you are a wordsmith of the highest order ...

.

[Chittychangchang]

Compromise

[sustento]

"What's the most valuable trait or attribute for living here" or anywhere else that isn't where you were born or brought up?

Is that what's 'normal' back home isn't necessarily what's 'normal' here...

[Soutpeel]

A sense of humour and dont take things too seriously

Edited July 14, 2013 by Soutpeel

[Soutpeel]

Apparently, prejudice.

For me, the only thing I've needed wherever I may have wandered is a job.

Yeah that keeps most people honest but not all.

A friend of friend got a well-paid job with insurer in BKK. Got here from Blighty, took up his post and got fired within 6 months.

Lost the plot on the freedom to shag around and cheap booze even though he'd visited the country umpteen times.

Know of quite a few people who came to Thailand on good jobs and lost the plot as well.....I think in some respects its expected for a little while when you arrive, certainly if your working for/with other farangs,but if it continues too long that when the problems start on the job front.....

I know when I came here to work, 11 years ago the first 6 weeks was certainly kid in candystore time...but after while you realise you cant keep doing it as you cant keep up with having an "active" social life and doing the job you were brought here for....

and I think thats were some people fail...they never realise that, and there maybe a degree of arrogance as well in that, they believe a company has taken the trouble to bring someone here to work, presumably on very good money/package...therefore the person concerned can do what they want as they are "so" important to the company and sometimes a very rude awakening occurs for those people

[hanno]

For me personally, a large dollop of cynicism, everyone is out to rip me off, whether Thai or farang, but especially farang.

Seen them all here, e-bayers, day time traders, full time poker players, property experts, boiler room scum, professional pool players, jewellery exporters who have never heard of Chantaburi, etc etc.

Since I stopped frequenting farang areas most of the above are no longer on the radar.

Seems to be a wide-spread attitude on thi forum; an attitude I do not share. Sure, there is a lot of white scum in Thailand, just as in the UK, the USA, or anywhere else. But there are also a lot of hard-working, decent farangs out there.

[JLCrab]

I think at least one of the most valuable traits for living in Thailand is manners -- but if you didn't have 'em before you got here, it is almost certainly too late.