Do You Live In A Thai Village Full Time

[Thaddeus]

I should really remember to scroll up more often.

Soidog.

A couple of weeks ago when we were compelled to make a trip to Laos for a few of days, a couple of individuals tried to break into our house.

The dogs went crazy... it didn't deter them..... the in-laws heard the dogs creating far more noise than usual at that time of night and came over to investigate, saw what was happening and chased the naughty men away.

I couldn't say with any degree of certainty that they were the same people you mention, but we do live just off the Lahan Sai - Ban Kruat - Prakon Chai route.

When we are at home, one dog sleeps inside (we have shown her how to use the hong nam ).... it would be practically impossible for anyone to get within 10 meters of our house without one of us waking up.... usually both of us, Meemee is only a little poodle but she is LOUD.

[macb]

I feel for you Thadd only one ball, but you know what they say 1 is essential and 2 is a luxury

Oh Sorry read it wrong

macb

Completely wrong on that score Mac..... in that department, I have three, true, I had to be 'medically checked out' when I was younger to make sure it wasn't a tumor ..... it isn't.... I just carry a spare

Okay Okay reminds me of a song...I'm Jake the peg leg a leg, leg a leg with the wooden leg leg a leg, arghhhhhhhh I give up haha

macb

[blue eyes]

I lived in a village in NST called Chian Yai. Horrible place, awful people. They'd walk up and laugh in your face and talk about you without even waiting for you to get out of earshot. Funerals every week, no lie. At times there were more than one a week, loud drunken pagan rituals all through the night. Murders, drivebys, street dogs had controll, there were thousands of them barking all night long. There were 40 policemen stationed there but they never did anything. One day there was a driveby near my house and my neighbor was there, he's a cop. A 20-year-old boy was shot five times. He said there'd be no investigation, I asked why, and he said the dead guy was a trouble maker. And here's the killer .. the population was 1600. Now when two people a week die in a town of 1600 ya just have ta wonder.

No you do not live there you survive there."horrible place,awful people".I have never been there or know anyone there but why do you stay if you are in my opinnion in danger and unhappy very strange indeed!!!

Sorry just noticed the I lived in

[prairieoyster]

Hi

I have to say I really enjoyed this thread, it just brought a smile to my face. My experience is the same but different. Firstly I don't live in Thailand but in Cambodia and secondly I don't actuallyt live in the village but just spend my weekends there.

I love village life and my Khmer family.

oyster

[soidog2]

I should really remember to scroll up more often.

Soidog.

A couple of weeks ago when we were compelled to make a trip to Laos for a few of days, a couple of individuals tried to break into our house.

I am certainly glad for the happy ending; in our village they just poisoned the noisier dogs.

Nobody can say for certain it’s the same gang, but it sounds the same.

We are on the on the other side, not too far from Nang Rong and the bad guys did a pretty good job around here & moved on.

From very high levels in the Buriram police we know its bad and province wide.

If you have a better looking “ Farang House “ you’re a target.

[Gerry290]

Hi There

I am looking forward to reading all this thread.

I lived in Nong Ki up in Burriram from January until a few weeks ago. I just moved to Pattaya.

I lived in the village itself, and it was a great experience, and I made lots of friends, even though few had english!!! My neighbour was an teacher with good english, and the man who ran the Muay Thai was a retired teacher with perfect english, and he was some sort of an ex politician, and had alot of power in the village, and my friendship with him, bought be alot of respect from the locals, and even the cops never stopped me, while they had a field day hitting the other frangs for "traffic fines".

In Nong Ki, there is not many Frangs in the village, only a couple of guys, but in the surrounding 10 - 20 Km circle of nong ki, there were plenty scattered around the little hamlets.

Yes I enjoyed my time there, and I work on the internet into ireland. so I was working at night like a 40 hour week. but since I am only 34 and not retired, after 6 months it started to get to me a bit, so I was in Korat for many weekends, and then decided to move on to Pattaya. where I can buy western food, and have a normal converstaion with other frangs.

I will go back to visit it for an occassional weekend.

[Gerry290]

not sure how to edit my post, so will re post more.

Nong Ki is 70KM from Korat, get the wrong bus and it can take 2 hours, if the bus stops ever 3 KM to let people on and off. I just to motor bike to Korat, but sometimes that was dangerous.

Nong Rong was 28Km away on only place with restaurant food frang style, so I used to go there on occassion to get french fries and bacon.

In Nong Ki, the only modern thing was the 7-11 at the gas station outside the village, with a little Amazon coffee shop, where I used to sit outside for a daily coffee or 3.

A few Karoke bars I used to sneak off too, but it was so poor in Nong Ki, there would be few people in them...not that anyone could speak english. some of the girls had a bit of english.

I found the weekends to be a bit quiet, as I liked to do something. and missed a frang chat.

My girlfriend was not from Isan, but a frang buddy who suggested I try like in Thailand, woman and son outside Nong ki. so he lived 10 km outside the village, and I had a 2 bed town house (very basic, but nice) in the village for 2500 bhat a month rent.

Had UBC, and I worked from 3pm to 1pm Mon - Fri on my internet biz into europe, and on the internet phone too.

I'd say if I was not working, I would have went nuts.

On occassion, there might be some sort of a festival in surrounding village, with Muay Thai fights, and Thai country/pop band, and I used to eye up the dancers. LOL!

It amazed me the lack of thai young females at these events, and it was all drunken thai lads, jumping about to the music, and fighitng each other.

I suppose all the girls are working in the cities, or whatever, to support the family.

I was amazed too, at the amount of lay abouts there, lads who did not work and drank all day. I would often see them getting into the whiskey at 9am. I wonder sometimes who had the better life...me working in europe, and having work stress problems, or them with no responsibilities getting buzzed on whiskey at 9am????

I used to come home at 11pm, and drink 4 or 5 beer and look at TV programs on Discovery channel about Nuclear Submarines and aircraft carriers, at sleep at 2am...

As I said, I was there 7 or 8 months, was a great experience and time to move on.

I found too, towards the end, my drinking was getting out of hand, maybe I was bored, and I was starting to go on benders, and go to the karoke bar and come home steaming at 2am to a very angry GF.

so now i pattaya I have given the booze up. better for me.

I did alot of Muay Thai training in Nong Ki, which had a famous Muay Thai school about 15 years ago, and producted 2 infamous Thai champs. Nampon and Nambaukan who fought in europe too.... I trained in same place, but now it only had a few young fighters.

Its great I spent time there, as I learned about the "real" thailand there, and also I think I would have less of a chance of any thai opportunists taking advantage of me, as I did see a few things up there you would read about in "private dancer"

I sort of moved really fast too, and sort of disappeared fast.

It would have been nice to have a few more frang friends up there, to meet up with and chat too. but such was life.

Apparently there was a group of germans out the road a few KM,. who drank alot of beer, but I never got to meet them.

I d say alot of the guys up there will be effected with this visa change rules on the 30 day thing. as thats what most did.

[TBWG]

Hi Guys

Usually mosquitos like me

So during the rainy season I put on mosquito repellent in the morning before going outside, and once again in the evening, if staying out after dark.

It does'nt matter where I am in this part of the world.

My house have mosquito screens on all windows and doors, so inside the house is no ploblem!

Better safe than sorry.

Hi Guys

When in Thailand I tend to rise early, remove still warm bread from bread making machine cut a couple of thick slices and coat liberally with marmite.

I then don my silk dressing gown and panama hat (have reputation to maintain as tame, harmless, crazy local farang) and stroll around garden eating marmite bread.

This has many benefits (1) entertains locals (2) fends off mossies! apparently they do not like yeast and the marmite smell that exudes from our skin after eating. (Imperceptible to humans) (3) enables me to feed fish and size up potential victim for lunch. (4) check on any work that needs doing in garden.

I then retire back to the house making several random, irrational gestures to nothing in particular for the benefit of any locals still bored enough to be hanging around.

Now for a cup of coffee or fresh squeezed orange juice whilst I plan my foray to the newagent for the Bangkok post!

God, I do love Thailand

TBWG

Hi as topic is slipping down the page so I feel obliged to continue with my day............

Bangkok Post, sit up and beg Thai style Mary Poppins bike or Motocy? flip 5 baht coin, motocy it is, helmet direction? flip coin again. I lose therefore helmet on back to front, this combined with the fact that I am wearing odd knee length socks with shorts should help maintain my credibility as crazy farang.

So off to papershop, however sidetracked by visit to bakers, arrive in a cloud of dust revving motocy and generally making a lot of noise, this has 2 benefits (1) lets baker run and hide in back of shop (2) enables him to send out attractive teenage daughter to serve me. Now ensues a daily ritual where I pretend not to know the price of 4 banana bread and complain about extortionate price being demanded from gullible farang, threaten to take business elsewhere (difficult because he is only baker in town) As no crowd has appeared I decide to move on after making my purchase, much to the disappointment of attractive teenage daughter who was hoping for more entertainment'

Right so its off to the papershop....arrive in cloud of dust, noise etc do you detect a theme here? However owner of papershop is having none of it and keeps attractive daughters out of sight, he also takes the wind out of my sails by berating the lackadaisical attitude of the Bangkok bus operator who brings the papers to town. But he and I both know that I deliberately arrive 5 minutes before the bus so that I can have a whinge and chat to his attractive daughters. my ploy however has failed miserably and I have time to kill.

I know a haircut! So I make my way to the only barber left in town from which I am not banned. Not sure of his attractive daughter status. Anyway I tell him I want a Piers Brosnan look alike haircut, how was I to know he was deaf! 5 minutes later I look like a demented badger who has come off worse from an argument with a strimmer. Several attractive daughters now appear and collapse in a heap giggling and pointing. Why these local barbers cannot convert my 6 dozen strands of hair into an 007 lookalike I will never know. Thats Brosnan not Connery already have his hairstyle!!!

So now decide to pay a visit to the market but despite doing 3 circuits only get 2 marriage proposals and one comittment of undying love! not a very good tally and put it down to my bad hair day!! I do notice some turtles that are being sold for the pot and decide to rescue them at some vastly inflated gullible farang price. So its straight to he river to give them their freedom until the next time.

Feeling good on the way home I decide to give the pla nin a break and buy a couple dozen satay sticks and a half gallon polythene bag of lemon tea for lunch.

When I get back to the house word has got around about the farangs haircut and a crowd of locals has gathered for the entertainment! When I remove helmet there are hoots of laughter and several derisive comments and I swear a couple of them are peeing themselves.

But so what I have my public to think of and standards to maintain.

Besides I have freed some turtles saved a pla nin from the pan.

It then occurs to me tha I still don't have my Bangkok post and what is that the wife is cooking, looks suspiciously like a pla nin!!

God I love Thailand and its still only lunchtime.

TBWG

[Thaddeus]

Love it.

Did nobody turn a turtle over to see if it had the vague winning lottery numbers on its under-belly?

If you live here, you will know what I am on about

[TBWG]

Love it.

Did nobody turn a turtle over to see if it had the vague winning lottery numbers on its under-belly?

If you live here, you will know what I am on about

Hi Thaddeus

Leave lottery numbers up to boss lady, this entails many obscure rituals, dreams, chickens entrails etc...... nothing as simple as deciphering a turtles nether regions

Strange that something so simple works, whereas wife's ultra complicated system never seems to pay off

TBWG

[Thaddeus]

Respect.

I tried writing down the numbers from 0 to 9 and giving her a pin...... like trying to plat fog

[soic]

I live in NonDindaeng in Buri-Ram for 3-4 weeks every four months, then again for 1 week every two months in between the four R&R's. I work in Iraq and that is the most often I can get home.

It is a quiet town and I enjoy every peaceful moment of it. I wake up in the mornings around 6-7am enjoy my coffee on the front porch. Wave at all the school kids walking to school, that walk by and say.... "farang... farang", I guess I'm still quite the attraction when I get home. They all know of me and our home, but it's still fun seeing them giggle when they walk by and wave. Our sons usually wind up rotating most of the lot to the house during my stay.

Then it's off to Smudger's for breakfast, or to the shoe store, to open up shop. We go to Korat, for day trips occassionally and to see some of the temples if some of my colleagues come to visit. Work in the yard or on the house, wash and wax my truck... then in the evening, have a few friends over, knock back a few Sang Som and cola, or Singha, then say good night, go shower and then realize... I'm bushed and it's only 8pm. It is quiet and very very enjoyable. I love my wife and her (Our) sons and the rest of the family. I couldn't think of a place that I'd rather be. We buy bulk shoes in Bangkok during my first few days in Thailand. I almost forgot that. The boys and I go fishing, riding our bikes around town. I like to go to the hardware store and buy stuff for some project I want to do for the house. After I try and try to explain the tool, the bracket, clamp or fitting I need, I break out the pen and paper and draw it, if that doesn't work, I walk every isle and look in ever nook and find what I need. Then the lady asks my wife politely what her farang is going to make now... my wife laughs and says she doesn't know, but the lady is welcome to come over and see it when I'm finished. The electrician came over last time and called me crazy because in his opinion, we made a carport that was nicer than many Thai homes in the village. The wife told him not funny, because she think I love the truck more than her. The electrian told her to tell me to sleep in the truck then, she told him to shut up, because I would.... I can't wait to get home and finish this crap over here, that quiet little village is my paradise...

[udon]

not sure how to edit my post, so will re post more.

Nong Khai is 70KM from Korat, get the wrong bus and it can take 2 hours, if the bus stops ever 3 KM to let people on and off. I just to motor bike to Korat, but sometimes that was dangerous.

etc......

You have up to 30 minutes to edit your post, just click the edit button and choose full edit.

[Gerry290]

not sure how to edit my post, so will re post more.

Nong Khai is 70KM from Korat, get the wrong bus and it can take 2 hours, if the bus stops ever 3 KM to let people on and off. I just to motor bike to Korat, but sometimes that was dangerous.

etc......

You have up to 30 minutes to edit your post, just click the edit button and choose full edit.

Nope, its Nong Ki 70km from Korat.....many frang think I mean Ning Khai way up north.... pronounced similar, but 2 different places.

Nong ki, is about 1 hours from Korat on the bike, and is on sort of on edge of Burriram provience, next village up is Nong Rong 28km, then you can turn for Burriram town about 90 mins away, or head straight on which brings you up to Surin direction.

Its sort of a secondary road from Korat, as opposed to the main highway.

As mentioned tiny Nong Ki village (aprox 2000 people) about 10 -15 years ago with Muay Thai world was World Famous for producing 2 World Champion and many Thai champions, who fought all over the world.

I little bit of nong ki, will always be in my heart. it was an amazing experience, frustrating sometimes, but amazing!

[udon]

I apologise, unreservedly.

[soidog2]

[Related to my earlier “BURGLERIES” post.

Working to put a stop to it, and catch the bad guys.

If you want to help, please let your wives/girlfriends know; anybody approaches them to buy some Rolex watches or diamond jewelry ETC.

Obviously, do not buy.

Please “ PM “ me immediately with the details. (Get as much contact info as you dare)

This especially important for all of you living in the Pa Kham, Lahan Sai, Ban Kruat,

Nang Rong, Nong Ke and Buriram city

Thanks

Soidog

Anybody wants publishable details, ask by PM

[Gerry290]

I was interested to discover a small but old Roman Catholic community with church and nuns in Pa Kham, this little village in from Nong Rong, off the beaten track.

It has a old church, a little convent, and is there years.

I was wonder how this little catholic community ended up in the middle of Isan????

[billd766]

My day has changed a lot form before (post 27) as it the school holidays and I now have my wife's Mum and Dad, her 15 year old neice, and 3 nephews aged 11, 5 and 4.

It is good for my son as he has his cousins to play with but they are on the go from about 7 am until 8:30 or 9 at night. All of them except the neice are noisy little buggers and my toy repairing skills have been put to a lot of use in the last couple of days.

We are now true village people as well because I bought my wife (and me) a Yamaha Mio Fino motor scooter. 110 cc, electric starter and automatic gearbox and it runs very nicely. We have a problem keeping our son off it because as soon as one of us goes to it he is on the platform hanging onto the mirror stalks and it like trying to undo an octopus to get him off. he has his own crash helmet that he wears and my wife has one which matches the scooter but I will have to wait until my next trip to the big city to find one my size.

10:00 pm and peace reigns over the house apart from the upsatirs tv which is on all night as a lot of them are sleeping on the floor up there.

[Thaddeus]

We are now true village people as well because I bought my wife (and me) a Yamaha Mio Fino motor scooter. 110 cc, electric starter and automatic gearbox and it runs very nicely. We have a problem keeping our son off it because as soon as one of us goes to it he is on the platform hanging onto the mirror stalks and it like trying to undo an octopus to get him off. he has his own crash helmet that he wears and my wife has one which matches the scooter but I will have to wait until my next trip to the big city to find one my size.

Try buying a crash helmet for a poodle.... she does exactly the same thing ( I think I need some help from Udon )

[udon]

Try buying a crash helmet for a poodle.... she does exactly the same thing ( I think I need some help from Udon )

Best Pomelo helmets can be obtained from the pomelo vendors just outside Aranyaphratet.

You can get a custom fit while you wait.

[macb]

See in the village this is how they surf the web

Macb

[TBWG]

You have up to 30 minutes to edit your post, just click the edit button and choose full edit.

Where do you find edit button?

TBWG

[billd766]

When you add your post and then see it on the screen it will be at the bottom right of your completed post.

Hope this helps.

See the attachment and when you click on edit it will come back with

Full Edit

Cancel

Do your editing and then click on submit modified post.

edit_button.doc

[Thaddeus]

Try buying a crash helmet for a poodle.... she does exactly the same thing ( I think I need some help from Udon )

Best Pomelo helmets can be obtained from the pomelo vendors just outside Aranyaphratet.

You can get a custom fit while you wait.

Cheers Udon ( I missed this post before)

I know the place, it's one of the main T-junctions before Wattana Nakhom isn't it...... I thought they only sold fruit for personal consumption..... I'm off to PTTY next week to meet some friends from the UK, can't take the queen with us.... do you think a good sketch of her head will do?...... to scale obviously

[TBWG]

When you add your post and then see it on the screen it will be at the bottom right of your completed post.

Hope this helps.

See the attachment and when you click on edit it will come back with

Full Edit

Cancel

Do your editing and then click on submit modified post.

edit_button.doc

Thanks billd

TBWG

[johnnyk]

Hi Guys

Usually mosquitos like me

So during the rainy season I put on mosquito repellent in the morning before going outside, and once again in the evening, if staying out after dark.

It does'nt matter where I am in this part of the world.

My house have mosquito screens on all windows and doors, so inside the house is no ploblem!

Better safe than sorry.

Hi Guys

When in Thailand I tend to rise early, remove still warm bread from bread making machine cut a couple of thick slices and coat liberally with marmite.

I then don my silk dressing gown and panama hat (have reputation to maintain as tame, harmless, crazy local farang) and stroll around garden eating marmite bread.

This has many benefits (1) entertains locals (2) fends off mossies! apparently they do not like yeast and the marmite smell that exudes from our skin after eating. (Imperceptible to humans) (3) enables me to feed fish and size up potential victim for lunch. (4) check on any work that needs doing in garden.

I then retire back to the house making several random, irrational gestures to nothing in particular for the benefit of any locals still bored enough to be hanging around.

Now for a cup of coffee or fresh squeezed orange juice whilst I plan my foray to the newagent for the Bangkok post!

God, I do love Thailand

TBWG

Hi as topic is slipping down the page so I feel obliged to continue with my day............

Bangkok Post, sit up and beg Thai style Mary Poppins bike or Motocy? flip 5 baht coin, motocy it is, helmet direction? flip coin again. I lose therefore helmet on back to front, this combined with the fact that I am wearing odd knee length socks with shorts should help maintain my credibility as crazy farang.

So off to papershop, however sidetracked by visit to bakers, arrive in a cloud of dust revving motocy and generally making a lot of noise, this has 2 benefits (1) lets baker run and hide in back of shop (2) enables him to send out attractive teenage daughter to serve me. Now ensues a daily ritual where I pretend not to know the price of 4 banana bread and complain about extortionate price being demanded from gullible farang, threaten to take business elsewhere (difficult because he is only baker in town) As no crowd has appeared I decide to move on after making my purchase, much to the disappointment of attractive teenage daughter who was hoping for more entertainment'

Right so its off to the papershop....arrive in cloud of dust, noise etc do you detect a theme here? However owner of papershop is having none of it and keeps attractive daughters out of sight, he also takes the wind out of my sails by berating the lackadaisical attitude of the Bangkok bus operator who brings the papers to town. But he and I both know that I deliberately arrive 5 minutes before the bus so that I can have a whinge and chat to his attractive daughters. my ploy however has failed miserably and I have time to kill.

I know a haircut! So I make my way to the only barber left in town from which I am not banned. Not sure of his attractive daughter status. Anyway I tell him I want a Piers Brosnan look alike haircut, how was I to know he was deaf! 5 minutes later I look like a demented badger who has come off worse from an argument with a strimmer. Several attractive daughters now appear and collapse in a heap giggling and pointing. Why these local barbers cannot convert my 6 dozen strands of hair into an 007 lookalike I will never know. Thats Brosnan not Connery already have his hairstyle!!!

So now decide to pay a visit to the market but despite doing 3 circuits only get 2 marriage proposals and one comittment of undying love! not a very good tally and put it down to my bad hair day!! I do notice some turtles that are being sold for the pot and decide to rescue them at some vastly inflated gullible farang price. So its straight to he river to give them their freedom until the next time.

Feeling good on the way home I decide to give the pla nin a break and buy a couple dozen satay sticks and a half gallon polythene bag of lemon tea for lunch.

When I get back to the house word has got around about the farangs haircut and a crowd of locals has gathered for the entertainment! When I remove helmet there are hoots of laughter and several derisive comments and I swear a couple of them are peeing themselves.

But so what I have my public to think of and standards to maintain.

Besides I have freed some turtles saved a pla nin from the pan.

It then occurs to me tha I still don't have my Bangkok post and what is that the wife is cooking, looks suspiciously like a pla nin!!

God I love Thailand and its still only lunchtime.

TBWG

Super stuff!

Keep us up to date if you can!

[billd766]

When you add your post and then see it on the screen it will be at the bottom right of your completed post.

Hope this helps.

See the attachment and when you click on edit it will come back with

Full Edit

Cancel

Do your editing and then click on submit modified post.

edit_button.doc

Thanks billd

TBWG

I only know how to do it because sometimes my fat fingers hit more than one key and other times I write faster than I think and post and then read it, and think Oh bolleaux and have to edit for bad spelling.

One day my pc will know what I want to say and spell it correctly.

I learned how to print screen from somebody on TV and that is easy.

Just get what you want on the screen then press Alt and PrtScr together, then open a new word file and paste to it.

[TBWG]

Hi Guys

Usually mosquitos like me

So during the rainy season I put on mosquito repellent in the morning before going outside, and once again in the evening, if staying out after dark.

It does'nt matter where I am in this part of the world.

My house have mosquito screens on all windows and doors, so inside the house is no ploblem!

Better safe than sorry.

Hi Guys

When in Thailand I tend to rise early, remove still warm bread from bread making machine cut a couple of thick slices and coat liberally with marmite.

I then don my silk dressing gown and panama hat (have reputation to maintain as tame, harmless, crazy local farang) and stroll around garden eating marmite bread.

This has many benefits (1) entertains locals (2) fends off mossies! apparently they do not like yeast and the marmite smell that exudes from our skin after eating. (Imperceptible to humans) (3) enables me to feed fish and size up potential victim for lunch. (4) check on any work that needs doing in garden.

I then retire back to the house making several random, irrational gestures to nothing in particular for the benefit of any locals still bored enough to be hanging around.

Now for a cup of coffee or fresh squeezed orange juice whilst I plan my foray to the newagent for the Bangkok post!

God, I do love Thailand

TBWG

Hi as topic is slipping down the page so I feel obliged to continue with my day............

Bangkok Post, sit up and beg Thai style Mary Poppins bike or Motocy? flip 5 baht coin, motocy it is, helmet direction? flip coin again. I lose therefore helmet on back to front, this combined with the fact that I am wearing odd knee length socks with shorts should help maintain my credibility as crazy farang.

So off to papershop, however sidetracked by visit to bakers, arrive in a cloud of dust revving motocy and generally making a lot of noise, this has 2 benefits (1) lets baker run and hide in back of shop (2) enables him to send out attractive teenage daughter to serve me. Now ensues a daily ritual where I pretend not to know the price of 4 banana bread and complain about extortionate price being demanded from gullible farang, threaten to take business elsewhere (difficult because he is only baker in town) As no crowd has appeared I decide to move on after making my purchase, much to the disappointment of attractive teenage daughter who was hoping for more entertainment'

Right so its off to the papershop....arrive in cloud of dust, noise etc do you detect a theme here? However owner of papershop is having none of it and keeps attractive daughters out of sight, he also takes the wind out of my sails by berating the lackadaisical attitude of the Bangkok bus operator who brings the papers to town. But he and I both know that I deliberately arrive 5 minutes before the bus so that I can have a whinge and chat to his attractive daughters. my ploy however has failed miserably and I have time to kill.

I know a haircut! So I make my way to the only barber left in town from which I am not banned. Not sure of his attractive daughter status. Anyway I tell him I want a Piers Brosnan look alike haircut, how was I to know he was deaf! 5 minutes later I look like a demented badger who has come off worse from an argument with a strimmer. Several attractive daughters now appear and collapse in a heap giggling and pointing. Why these local barbers cannot convert my 6 dozen strands of hair into an 007 lookalike I will never know. Thats Brosnan not Connery already have his hairstyle!!!

So now decide to pay a visit to the market but despite doing 3 circuits only get 2 marriage proposals and one comittment of undying love! not a very good tally and put it down to my bad hair day!! I do notice some turtles that are being sold for the pot and decide to rescue them at some vastly inflated gullible farang price. So its straight to he river to give them their freedom until the next time.

Feeling good on the way home I decide to give the pla nin a break and buy a couple dozen satay sticks and a half gallon polythene bag of lemon tea for lunch.

When I get back to the house word has got around about the farangs haircut and a crowd of locals has gathered for the entertainment! When I remove helmet there are hoots of laughter and several derisive comments and I swear a couple of them are peeing themselves.

But so what I have my public to think of and standards to maintain.

Besides I have freed some turtles saved a pla nin from the pan.

It then occurs to me tha I still don't have my Bangkok post and what is that the wife is cooking, looks suspiciously like a pla nin!!

God I love Thailand and its still only lunchtime.

TBWG

Super stuff!

Keep us up to date if you can!

Due to popular demand well johnnyk at least I now continue a typical Thai day for moi!

Well I am sitting on the terrace looking at the pond and feeling a bit bloated probably due to the fact that I have consumed half gallon of iced lemon tea and a couple of dozen satay sticks. I am also feeling a bit guilty over demise of yet another pla nin.

I am also regretting planting one of those b****y lotus lilies and I now know why you see them growing everywhere. In 2 months it has taken over the pond and I am fed up saying its just what I wanted after boss lady told me that I would live to regret it.

I know, I will get local labour to remove all the lily leaves, the theory being that deprived of sunlight it will soon die, great idea! So wife’s sister it promptly dispatched to get Mr Curly & Mel. They arrive in no time at all as they know that my fridge is always well stocked with beer and I pay well, they don’t seem in the least put off by what needs to be done. It’s at this point I should tell readers that pond has sloping sides and is 3-4 meters deep.

Anyway both strip down to shorts and jump in Mel has no problems (see before, after and action shot pics) and is pulling out great armfuls of lily leaves, however Mr Curly is just going under for the third time when I realise that he is out of his depth and can’t swim! Quick as a flash I grab the great bamboo pole that I use for clearing debris from pond and lunge at the area where Mr Curly was last seen, this is just as he is about to resurface and I deliver him a great whack on the head, but at least he is aware of the pole and grabs it as though his life depended on it, which in hindsight it probably did!

We now pull him out and he has turned white as a sheet, has a large lump on his forehead and is coughing up lungful’s of brown water, at this point had he been an attractive Thai teenage girl I would have energetically administered the kiss of life, however, I draw the line at thirty something male labourers. Half a bottle of Lao Kao later he is fighting fit and ready to begin again, but what’s this coming down the road a Michelin man on a motorcy? No it’s the wife’s sister wearing a second hand lorry inner tube, quick thinking on her part and Mr Curly is soon floating around tugging out lily leaves left, right and centre, his recent near demise soon forgotten. .

The boss lady now proceeds to give me a 20 minute verbal lashing the gist of it being that the BIB take a dim view of farangs drowning the locals. She also suggests that this is a pretty lousy job and they should be recompensed well with 1,000 baht between them being the agreed amount.

I now decide to have a lay down while boss lady oversees the work and generally orders everyone about.

Couple of hours later I come out to see them just putting the final leaves on a huge pile which they promise to come and remove tomorrow. I must now admit that lily less pond looks a hel_l of a lot better and tuck a 1000 baht note in Mr Curly’s shirt pocket.

What now transpires is a touching moment where labour look shocked at large amount and try to give it back for a more modest sum, but no I insist they take it and feel humbled that they are so honest and dam fine human beings.

I now retire to terrace with a beer and admire their handiwork and congratulate myself on such a good idea. However this does not last long as boss lady comes back from market with evening meal and I tell her that labour is retuning tomorrow and that I have paid them. Boss lady now goes ballistic; she paid them prior to going to market! What now ensues is a 20 minute verbal lashing the gist of which is…. why am I so stupid and always leave my brains in England!

The outcome of which is that Mr Curly and Mel plus 2,000 baht equal 3 days drunken stupor and consequent non appearance.

This is probably for the best as it keeps me occupied and out of harms way for the next few days moving rotting lily leaves. Which is no bad thing bearing in mind the unfortunate sequence of events which was about to unfold at the local karaoke bar that very evening……but that’s another story!

God...I love Thailand

TBWG

[mrbojangles]

Excellent post TBWG

[Thaddeus]

God...I love Thailand

TBWG

Me too ...... great post.