How to make "meeting the parents" in Isaan perfect?

[anthos]

A good friend is getting ready to "meet the parents" in Isaan.

 

Initial data:

1. English expat, 40+, Westham fan, with 2-3 pairs of shorts and no command of Thai language

2. Thai gf, 20+, 5 months pregnant

3. Travelling tomorrow from the South to meet her parents (for the first time) at their

4. farm in Chaiyaphum. 100 rai of bananas and watermelons, Dad doesn't watch football

 

Dear friends, it's not too late to help our fellow farang make this important meeting perfect. 

Please feel free to share your brightest ideas and tricks to impress the rurals.

Many thanks in advance.

 

p.s. just in: a mobile phone has been prepared as a gift for the Dad already

 

 

Edited November 27, 2016 by anthos

[Mitkof Island]

Do you want to hear some honest advice that might hurt you or your friends feelings?

[Lamkyong]

3 minutes ago, Mitkof Island said:

Do you want to hear some honest advice that might hurt you or your friends feelings?

i know what you mean    i am just following for now maybe post   a more positive/informative later

[anthos]

My friend has spent enogh long years here to be aware of the worst. So it's too late to hurt feelings.

We rather expect some good humour which this forum is famous for ).

 

 

Edited November 27, 2016 by anthos

[acid thunder]

22 minutes ago, anthos said:

p.s. just in: a mobile phone has been prepared as a gift for the Dad already

 

Why a mobile phone?  Sounds a bit desperate and setting the bar a little too high for my liking.  Oh well.

 

A few beers, a bottle of Hong Thong and you're good to go, and throw in some flowers for mum.

 

 

Edited November 27, 2016 by acid thunder

[Mitkof Island]

4 minutes ago, anthos said:

My friend has spent enogh long years here to be aware of the worst. 

We rather expect some good humour which this forum is famous for ).

 

 

The girl is twenty years younger and is about to have a kid. He speaks nor understands any Thai . And your friend has spent long years here to be aware of the worst ? And where did he meet his darling new girlfriend?

[amykat]

Yes, why in the hell would he bring any gifts like a phone???  You say he has been here a while? Sounds like he hasn't learned anything ...other than what some Thai girlfriends have taught him.

[acid thunder]

Just now, Mitkof Island said:

The girl is twenty years younger and is about to have a kid. He speaks nor understands any Thai . And your friend has spent long years here to be aware of the worst ? And where did he meet his darling new girlfriend?

 

Too late for dissecting all that.  The meeting is on.

[chiang mai]

Suggest he shave his head and don the saffron robes, that'll impress the locals.

 

As for the dad not watching football, I'm sure he will shortly just as soon as the SIL buys him a new 42 inch Samsung. A mobile phone, pft, tip of the iceberg stuff.

 

Good luck to all.

[anthos]

 

3 minutes ago, acid thunder said:

through in some flowers for mum

We have just been told by another Issan native that flowers are not seen as a normal gesture of politness there and don't count as a gift because "you can't eat them".

[acid thunder]

Just now, anthos said:

We have just been told by another Issan native that flowers are not seen as a normal gesture of politness there and don't count as a gift because "you can't eat them".

 

Seriously, don't read too much in to it.  Give her some dried fruit then.

 

All in all, the daughter is preggers and there's no going back now.  Keep it simple, respectful and inexpensive. 

[Shot]

Toss the cell phone for Dad. Bring plenty of booze and food. Wear a smile, be polite and hope for the best. No drama needed.

[KMartinHandyman]

Don't give papa the phone! Give him a little cash instead. Now he can leave his current phone (after clearing it) with his girlfriend, tell her he's going to the ice shop and do a runner with papas phone which has a number she doesn't know.

[acid thunder]

Quote

How to make "meeting the parents" in Isaan perfect?

 

Absolutely impossible to make the meeting perfect as you'll never second guess how to achieve this.

 

Cheap, cheerful and respectful is the best your friend can achieve.  Next.

[anthos]

if he won't be able to escape on the way, are there any particular topics to avoid during a dinner conversation?

any good talking points?  

a funny Thai joke that they'll understand? about growing bananas perhaps

[mania]

23 minutes ago, anthos said:

 

We have just been told by another Issan native that flowers are not seen as a normal gesture of politness there and don't count as a gift because "you can't eat them".

 

Well that throws a wrench at all the gold stories doesn't  it

[bokningar]

Just now, anthos said:

if he won't be able to escape on the way, are there any particular topics to avoid during a dinner conversation?

any good talking points?  

a funny Thai joke that they'll understand? about growing bananas perhaps

Since he don't "put Thai" that wont be a problem.

Smile and keep the beer and other drinks coming. 

Buy chicken, pork and fish for a nice BBQ and you will be all set.

[amykat]

3 minutes ago, bokningar said:

Since he don't "put Thai" that wont be a problem.

Smile and keep the beer and other drinks coming. 

Buy chicken, pork and fish for a nice BBQ and you will be all set.

 

Yes, really ...are you all going to pretend like the conversation won't revolve around talking crap about the "farang" all night anyway??

[oldgent]

just relax and enjoy a change in your lifestyle, be polite . don,t give him a phone

look around and see if the farm needs anything just ask your G/F that would be a better gift.

be aware your G/F will be your only contact .

[Thaiwrath]

16 minutes ago, anthos said:

if he won't be able to escape on the way, are there any particular topics to avoid during a dinner conversation?

any good talking points?  

a funny Thai joke that they'll understand? about growing bananas perhaps

 

What conversation ? He cannot speak the lingo !

Anything he get's his lady to translate will be altered to suit her needs.

I imagine unless he has a shitload of dosh, the parents will ask the daughter (in Thai, of course), at some stage of the proceedings,

'is this the best you can come up with ?'

[amykat]

5 minutes ago, oldgent said:

just relax and enjoy a change in your lifestyle, be polite . don,t give him a phone

look around and see if the farm needs anything just ask your G/F that would be a better gift.

be aware your G/F will be your only contact .

 

His g/f is surely the one who told him to get the phone.

Why oh why, should he look around to see what they need at all?

Maybe they need a tractor ..new truck, new refrigerator??

Do you go to people's houses and do that? Are you Santa Claus?

[onthesoi]

Take some bananas for mum & dad...

[acid thunder]

31 minutes ago, anthos said:

any good talking points?  

a funny Thai joke that they'll understand? about growing bananas perhaps

 

Yes, how his banana impregnated their daughter would be a good laugh.

 

 

Edited November 27, 2016 by acid thunder

[anthos]

3 minutes ago, onthesoi said:

Take some bananas for mum & dad...

 

yeah, dried bananas even better

Edited November 27, 2016 by anthos

[thaibeachlovers]

Knowing what I know now when it's all turned to tears, my advice is to develop a mysterious allergy to Issan so never have to go anywhere near the family. I'd also only rent a small one bedroom place so no room if they want to visit, and make it far, far away.

Not knowing any Thai is a good thing as it means he doesn't have to sit on the floor to eat and pretend to be interested in whatever they were talking about. Worked for me.

Have a safe word to use with the GF that means "I've had enough, and get me out of here tomorrow".

 

BTW, he should take something he can actually eat while visiting. My ex's diet in the village was something I never wanted to try, EVER.

 

 

[anthos]

2 minutes ago, acid thunder said:

 

Yes, how his banana impregnated their daughter would be a good laugh.

 

brilliant idea, sounds like the highlight of the party )

[petermik]

Does your "friend" know who is the father to his GF,s kiddie

[anthos]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'd also only rent a small one bedroom place so no room if they want to visit, and make it far, far away.

 

this has been done already well in advance )

 

[thaibeachlovers]

11 minutes ago, amykat said:

 

His g/f is surely the one who told him to get the phone.

Why oh why, should he look around to see what they need at all?

Maybe they need a tractor ..new truck, new refrigerator??

Do you go to people's houses and do that? Are you Santa Claus?

Even better, don't take a gift at all, don't spend any money and don't offer to help buy food. With any luck they'll think he is too mean to want to have anything to do with him and never visit them, or invite them back.

One good thing about visiting though, it gives a good reason to tell the beloved that he ain't EVER going back there again. Oh how I wish I could have thought of that the first time we went to visit the family in their hovel. Life would be sweet now.

[amykat]

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Even better, don't take a gift at all, don't spend any money and don't offer to help buy food. With any luck they'll think he is too mean to want to have anything to do with him and never visit them, or invite them back.

One good thing about visiting though, it gives a good reason to tell the beloved that he ain't EVER going back there again. Oh how I wish I could have thought of that the first time we went to visit the family in their hovel. Life would be sweet now.

 

I remember watching/reading your move into the country and your stories ...and waiting for the crash!!!  Glad it is finished now!!

Edited November 27, 2016 by amykat