Acrimonious Divorce

[kingstonkid]

 

am going through a divorce with my Canadian wife and am using a very famous legal firm in Bangkok that also has an office in Huahin I believe That advertises here that I use it is siam.  I have found them to be very good and reasonable

 

[bbbbooboo]

hmmmm.....9 years.... and this happens......hmmmmm

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, mduras01 said:

I know I'm not helping the situation, but I am trying to wrap my head around these kinds of situations. Now I'm assuming she didn't originate from a bar or anything remotely close. But even then, I would never do such as thing for anyone back in the US. So why do it here? Why buy things for the family etc. Whats so different here? Why do folk try to buy their way into a false sense of security? Why? Mind you, I am married to a thai and have a son too. Car is solely in my name, purchased before marriage. Home? Forget it - will not ever buy and put anything in her name and she's perfectly fine with it. She's more than content just to always be by my side. Marriage visa? No way. I chose another visa type. Investments? All abroad. I transfer what I need to Thailand every three months. Just enough. I do help the family with some medical bills for the father's cancer treatment and they treat me right always, regardless of my help. They did before, they do now. They own a respectable small business. So what I am saying is why is there such a vast preponderance of folk in these dire do or die financial situations here in Thailand? Does the time zone play some trick on the mind? And these fallen angels, are they truly angels? Where did you meet her?

 

Again, I know I'm not helping. I guess my questions is...why put oneself in such short-sighted consequences, considering the ample background info available to all?

 

I hope all sorts itself out and that you never do such a thing again. I truly wish you the best and it's a painful lesson, but I hope a one time lesson only.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

 

 

You have some good points, however I would suggest that it all depends on characters and personal preferences.

 

Yeh I hear girls from the bar scene have a bad reputation, I married my wife 10 years ago, she was from the bar scene, in it for 7 months, so I am told by her, I see no reason to doubt her, besides, what and how long she was in it and did before she met me is irrelevant, as was my past prior to meeting her.

 

I am a pretty good judge on peoples characters, i.e. been around, done this, done that, been with my fair share of women from around the world, and was divorced in (1999) after 12 and a half years of marriage with one child, it was a 50/50 split back then without having to go to court, although the documents were sealed by the court. The X ended up being the bitch from hell after the divorce with our 1 and a half year old daughter at the time, who is now 20 and we have a close relationship.

 

I agree investments back in your home country and take what you need per month/quarter to survive, by the family nothing, pay for medical bills if they arise.

 

My wife came back to Australia with me for 9 years, we would visit her family once a year and I would send her folk 10,000 baht per month to look after her twin boys from her previous Thai partner, the twins were 3 at the time, however when we moved her just on 2 years ago that stopped because the boys now 13 live with us.

 

I purchased 1,000m2 of land 10 years ago when we married for 4,000 baht in her village, built a bungalow on it a year later 500,000 baht, high rendered brick fences around the perimeter 200,000 baht, then extended the bungalow and built the new house just on 2 years ago for 1.5 mil, purchased a new car in her name a year an a half ago 800,000 baht, (I have a yellow book and could have put it in my name), add furniture, motorcycle, air conditioners etc etc and you would probably add another 200,000 as a minimum.

 

The way I see it is, she has looked after me for the past 10 years, like no other, and the outlay from my end is about 10% of my worth, we have 2 young daughters, if the relationship went south tomorrow, one could say she is looked after, she has 300,000 baht of the sin sot left in her bank which has not been touched, (part of the deal) and was agreed to be for the twins education, originally 500,000, with 200,000 going to the parents, as this again was the agreement in the making at the time.

 

I threw her a few bones here and there so to speak when my wife we were living in Australia as I was on a good wicket and she would purchase a few land parcels around the village, i.e. 200,000 baht here and there, so she has a good fall back position, with rubber trees planted and ready to be sapped, rice fields, etc etc and has managed to buy some gold as well over the years.

 

What I am trying to say is there is no need to be a cheap Charlie in a relationship, if your women is good to you and to your children, regardless of her profession, i.e. I am sure she wouldn't do it if wasn't for desperate times, i.e. twins to feed and cloth, parents who have no education and barley survive today.

 

I believe I have a duty to secure her future, but keep my assets separate, nothing to do with trust, its good business sense and has less risk/exposure when the law usually leans towards the female who will usually the one raising the kids, a prenuptial agreement if part of a Family Law Act, as it is in Australia has to become part of your marriage, its protection of your assets, and if she doesn't want to sign, then you know she is in it for the money.

 

Only invest as much as your prepared to lose, and what I have invested over 10 years in her has impacted on her life, but will not impact on my life if it all went south tomorrow, what would impact on my life would be not watching my 2 daughter being part of my life and losing the love of my life (my wife). and of course, she would miss out on the remaining split of the 90% which would be split with my 20 year old daughter back in Australia.

 

If I was the guy in Hua Hin and had invested 1.5 baht, assuming that's all it is, I would walk, because 50% of that less lawyers fees, etc etc wouldn't really be worth it in the end, especially if he still has some working years left in him, and principal shouldn't exists if he has kids with her as she will have to raise them and provide for them and kids are not cheap. If she chooses to piss it up the wall with a Thai boyfriend, sel-a-vee, he has to move on.

 

For the record my X back in 1999 walked away with half a mil AUS back then, she was on a salary of $30,000 per annum, not bad for 12 and a half years of spreading them, suffice to say, it pays sometimes to have a moist area 555

[thailand49]

You can't have it both ways!

Yes, you are being ripped off by the lawyers that is as sure as the sun rise and fall. You want get back what you put or half but you don't want to spend money on a Bangkok Lawyer that can speak perfect English to you and they are Thai, I have one.

You wife is a bargirl and if not she has the bargirl mentality, she has nothing, that is why she has a lawyer that wants a % of the divorce which is just B.S.

If you do the math and just walk away now you more than likely will come out ahead in the end instead of the lawyers getting it. If she has this type of lawyer she is just as stupid as you, sorry to have to say this when you are down. At this point you mine as well represent yourself since your lawyer doesn't speak English and you have no idea what is going on?

Give these people a call for a start

TSL & Associates  Virginia Ly  Mobile  080 232 4111, she and her brother were born in Thailand but raised majority of their life in the U.S. (Las Vegas and San Francisco) speaks and writes English and Thai. Their office is across the Soi from the U.S. Embassy, well worth the time to call for a start as to what to do.

 

Good luck

[Bangkok Barry]

23 hours ago, DoneTravelling said:

I was working overseas in a very well paid job and would visit here every 2 months.

 

That is not a marriage for love, that is a marriage for the money you would bring in. Not living with your wife is not a normal married relationship, in which you do things as a couple, share the same things and experiences, grow together. Sadly, you are now reaping the results of having lived what appears to be largely separate lives. I wonder what made her turn against you (you make no mention of the reason for the divorce). Good luck in sorting things out.

[Guitar God]

Assets acquired after the marriage are split 50/50 after a divorce. 

 

If if you don't get at least that, you didn't have the right lawyer. 

 

I'd never pay a lawyer a percentage of my proceeds from a divorce. Negotiate a fee in advance or pay by the billable hour on a detailed breakdown of the work done. 

 

 

[Jimmyjames120]

6 hours ago, colinneil said:

Please stop telling folk everything is split 50/50, that happens in some cases but not all.

I was divorced 3 weeks after i left for the UK, FOR DESERTION.

Law here states that cannot happen until after 1 year and 1 day.

knew nothing about the divorce, was never notified by anyone.

Court granted ex house/car, in fact everything, corrupt judge/ corrupt lawyer/ corrupt police, farang has no chance.

In your case the standard course of action was to Appeal and take it to higher court in Bangkok and use a competent lawyer, because the Law IS 50/50, it is written so. 

 

You would of course have to weigh up the extra costs vs the value of what you actually lost to deem is it worth it.

[sawadeeken]

Rest in Peace........... And stay in your house and make her life miserable............ and Hire a 'body guard' to stay with you............... Make her want you 'OUT'.......... and make her become 'negotiable'...........

Keep looking for a lawyer and make it clear to him that you will keep looking for a lawyer until you find the one that is 'right'...............

[Shouldhaveknownbetter]

Sorry about your situation.  Getting a lawyer from Bangkok on a consignment basis seems look good advise to me.  Count your blessing that your divorce is not in California.

[colinneil]

37 minutes ago, Jimmyjames120 said:

In your case the standard course of action was to Appeal and take it to higher court in Bangkok and use a competent lawyer, because the Law IS 50/50, it is written so. 

 

You would of course have to weigh up the extra costs vs the value of what you actually lost to deem is it worth it.

You think i sat back and did nothing?

When i found out i engaged the best law firm in Issan, they checked things out for me, then they said, up to you but if you proceed you have zero chance of winning.

When the judge is corrupt, you think other judges will over rule him?

No way. Why spend serious money for nothing.

[sawadeeken]

31 minutes ago, colinneil said:

You think i sat back and did nothing?

When i found out i engaged the best law firm in Issan, they checked things out for me, then they said, up to you but if you proceed you have zero chance of winning.

When the judge is corrupt, you think other judges will over rule him?

No way. Why spend serious money for nothing.

Perhaps you were mistaking about them being the best law firm in Issan.........

Did you get a 'second opinion'? and third and fourth????

[Roger Harris]

Same old story I hear ever day, they do not want old falangs, they want you money. I have not a problem in the world. Get smart use them for boom boom, kick them out next day. Then you sleep good the next night. Your stupid like all the rest that have lost all there money

 

[thailand49]

12 minutes ago, sawadeeken said:

Perhaps you were mistaking about them being the best law firm in Issan.........

Did you get a 'second opinion'? and third and fourth????

+1

When he said best law firm in Issan I couldn't stop rolling on the floor.

[janpharma]

Feel sorry for you, it also happened to me.  You need a good lawyer that you can trust...Feel free to PM me and I will be happy to help and give you the right references (and also the bad ones).

[sawadeeken]

1 minute ago, Roger Harris said:

Same old story I hear ever day, they do not want old falangs, they want you money. I have not a problem in the world. Get smart use them for boom boom, kick them out next day. Then you sleep good the next night. Your stupid like all the rest that have lost all there money

 

Same old story.............. Sometimes they are what you make of them........... There is '2-sides of the coin'..... when you want to make an educated opinion you need to hear both sides of the story (as the Judge does)....

Nobody is ever the bad one when you hear only their side of the story......... In Thailand (and elsewhere) there are 'greedy wenches'.......... But there are many decent ones who can overlook age differences, and be wonderful caretakers........ SO.... OFTEN.... They are what YOU made them to be.........

This needs to be considered also in the OP, although we are responding to the OP with only his side of the story, and our replies address only that......... BUT?????

I've have a bit of experience to voice with..... I have had 4 wives.... 2 farang, 2 Thai....... Presently I have a very satisfied Thai wife (for 21 years) in the USA... I treat her well and she treats me well......

Presently I also have a Mia-Noi in Pattaya for the same 21 years...... 21 years ago little would i believe that both of them would endure me, after the first 3 wives I learned a 'little'..... Most of the wives (excluding #3 who was a Thai 'Patpong' bar girl) were all 'good women'...... I was the 'weak link' but I learned and now am keeping 2 of them content for 21 years..... These 2 are fabulous Thai women....... If there is ever a problem it will be my fault.......... 

With OVER 30 years experience in Thailand, (I have been back and forth almost monthly) and having Expat friends over all those years, I have witnessed many GOOD and BAD Farang/Thai relationships work or fail, and I must say that it has been a 50/50 blame............

Every case is an 'Individual' case and you can't be sure till you hear both sides of the story...........

I have had 21 wonderful years with 2 'wonderful' Thai women......... If it ends it will be 'MY Fault'.... Not their's............

[Jimmyjames120]

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

You think i sat back and did nothing?

When i found out i engaged the best law firm in Issan, they checked things out for me, then they said, up to you but if you proceed you have zero chance of winning.

When the judge is corrupt, you think other judges will over rule him?

No way. Why spend serious money for nothing.

Unfortunately the best law firm in Isaan is still Mickey Mouse, the best lawyers naturally gravitate to Bangkok and yes, a big judge will overrule an underling, I know this to be true from my own experience. 

 

Its a terrible thing that has happened to you and the OP and many many others in Thailand, I'm just pointing out that above anything else you need a Good Lawyer and they will be in Bangkok, also for all it's corruption  Thailand does have written laws which cannot be ignored IF you have a competent lawyer and your willing to push it all the way, most people walk away, sometimes for good reason.

[Jimmyjames120]

1 hour ago, Roger Harris said:

Same old story I hear ever day, they do not want old falangs, they want you money. I have not a problem in the world. Get smart use them for boom boom, kick them out next day. Then you sleep good the next night. Your stupid like all the rest that have lost all there money

 

You sound like a nice chap

[metisdead]

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[ericthai]

watch out for the lawyers, most are no good.  My friend has an issue that a shop sold his motorcycle while he was on an oil rig working. He hired a lawyer via a Thai friend and had to pay 600,000B up front. After he paid the lawyer he was never able to get in contact with the lawyer again. Would not accept phone calls, not in the office when he went there. Etc.  Be very careful of the lawyer you use.

 

 

[manarak]

47 minutes ago, ericthai said:

watch out for the lawyers, most are no good.  My friend has an issue that a shop sold his motorcycle while he was on an oil rig working. He hired a lawyer via a Thai friend and had to pay 600,000B up front. After he paid the lawyer he was never able to get in contact with the lawyer again. Would not accept phone calls, not in the office when he went there. Etc.  Be very careful of the lawyer you use.

from what planet is your friend? 600k upfront? lol.

[blackcab]

15 hours ago, Sydebolle said:

Everything in her name = belongs to her and you have no possibility to put your claim of 50% on it. The only difference would be, if you could PROVE, that you paid 50% or 100% of the purchase price; that does NOT apply to land though. 

 

It does apply to land. There is no exception in Thai divorce law for real estate.

[bandito]

16 hours ago, colinneil said:

Please stop telling folk everything is split 50/50, that happens in some cases but not all.

I was divorced 3 weeks after i left for the UK, FOR DESERTION.

Law here states that cannot happen until after 1 year and 1 day.

knew nothing about the divorce, was never notified by anyone.

Court granted ex house/car, in fact everything, corrupt judge/ corrupt lawyer/ corrupt police, farang has no chance.

 

Being a Farang has nothing to do with this.

Urban Legend that Farangs have no rights.

In Thailand you don't have to tell the person youre sueing that you go to court.

It was a bonus for her that you left Thailand for whatever reason.

I divorced my first Thai wife bargirl and she got left with nothing, nada, niente.

Thai Lawyer told her she could get a bus ticket home which drove her up the wall.

Story is longer but I get tired to read all the time that Farangs have no rights here.

Stop telling this as it is not true.

[Elkski]

Wow, I hope you get through this with your sanity and life.   Your story had so many of the not to do things in it.  It's a good lesson for all of us newbies.    

[Destiny1990]

1 hour ago, bandito said:

 

Being a Farang has nothing to do with this.

Urban Legend that Farangs have no rights.

In Thailand you don't have to tell the person youre sueing that you go to court.

It was a bonus for her that you left Thailand for whatever reason.

I divorced my first Thai wife bargirl and she got left with nothing, nada, niente.

Thai Lawyer told her she could get a bus ticket home which drove her up the wall.

Story is longer but I get tired to read all the time that Farangs have no rights here.

Stop telling this as it is not true.

Lots of guys say here that they lost their  land and house here there was no 50/50 split do u want to claim that they are lying? u story seems the odd one out.

[sead]

16 hours ago, DoneTravelling said:

Thanks guys for all comments so far.

Maybe I should have stated more in my first post but I thought it was enough. I have read the Thailand Marriage and Family Laws act and pretty well understand it all, it is fair and not on sided. I am a contract law specialist so I do know how to read contracts and laws.

All assets including the land are classed as Sin Somros which means marital assets are jointly owned by both husband and wife. So the land is included in the split. Section  1533 of the act states: "Upon divorce the Sin Somros shall be divided equally between man and woman." so ALL common  assets amassed since the marriage are included in this. This statement is 100% incorrect "Everything in her name = belongs to her and you have no possibility to put your claim of 50% on it".

I know the value of all assets as being a nerd I have always kept a record. I can prove I paid for everything. Our assets are over $1.5m

The two lawyers I have used plus Siam Legal in BKK have all said I need to stay away from the court and do everything possible to settle out of court. All stated roughly the same thing, the hearing will be held in Thai language, there is very little if any opportunity to talk to your lawyer during the hearing, they are expected to know everything before the hearing. The judge will make the decision and often this is in favour of the Thai person. 

I agree with one comment above in that she and her lawyer are very aware of the 50/50 split requirement and are doing everything possible to delay finalization. She agreed to sell the house and separate land but she wanted such a ridiculous price they would never have sold.

 

But you do have to sell your share of the land Before xx months as foreigners cant own. And selling it you can forget since her family is going to be there and no other want to buy that land. So in the end its hers..

[colinneil]

1 hour ago, bandito said:

 

Being a Farang has nothing to do with this.

Urban Legend that Farangs have no rights.

In Thailand you don't have to tell the person youre sueing that you go to court.

It was a bonus for her that you left Thailand for whatever reason.

I divorced my first Thai wife bargirl and she got left with nothing, nada, niente.

Thai Lawyer told her she could get a bus ticket home which drove her up the wall.

Story is longer but I get tired to read all the time that Farangs have no rights here.

Stop telling this as it is not true.

I think you must be a friend of the PMs, he lives in la-la land the same as you.

[metisdead]

An obscene troll post has been removed as well as the replies.

[Will27]

17 hours ago, DoneTravelling said:

To Mduras: I appreciate and understand your comments. My wife was a physiotherapist at a hospital in BKK when we met, She worked 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and earned a pittance. After we married I bought the house as we had to have somewhere to live, doesn't everyone? If you did not buy a home where do you live?

I bought the land as we had a plan for it, this never worked out in the end. I have one car in my name one in hers, it makes no difference whos name it is in as it is a common marital asset.

And I am not in a dire financial situation.

If you can take the hit financially, suggest you cut your losses move on.

 

Life's too shorts to put up with being miserable if you don't have to.

[Kadilo]

from what planet is your friend? 600k upfront? lol.

Must be some motorbike.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[sawadeeken]

3 hours ago, Destiny1990 said:

 

4 hours ago, bandito said:

 

Being a Farang has nothing to do with this.

Urban Legend that Farangs have no rights.

In Thailand you don't have to tell the person youre sueing that you go to court.

It was a bonus for her that you left Thailand for whatever reason.

I divorced my first Thai wife bargirl and she got left with nothing, nada, niente.

Thai Lawyer told her she could get a bus ticket home which drove her up the wall.

Story is longer but I get tired to read all the time that Farangs have no rights here.

Stop telling this as it is not true.

Lots of guys say here that they lost their  land and house here there was no 50/50 split do u want to claim that they are lying? u story seems the odd one out.

 

Many of these guys are probably tell it 'as it was'....... Each of them may have won or lost as they say they did......... It is 'Important' to remember that each person's outcome will be different and can seriously affected by 'Luck'... 'Timing'... 'Many outside influences'..... But 'MAINLY'.... by the amount of 'personal effort' put into it, and the 'personal attitude' of the person suing....... If you think you can do it - you probably can..... vs..... if you think you can't win, you probably won't....... Etc.....

Defeated attitudes usually lose....... LOL......

Those who don't want to work hard at something, usually 'lose' with them...... LOL.....

THEN...... after losing they can't understand why!!!!!!  LOL......

As is life there are some 'impossible' tasks, BUT many are only thought to be 'impossible'

My Humble Opinion...............  cheers