Leave or stay?

[ExpatDraco]

Just take a mia noi ur self...
 

This... :) Let the old man have his fun also. Your wife gets paid, and you can have sex for free with her! Win - Win!

Monogamous relationships are overrated anyway.

Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

[faranglomjay]

7 hours ago, stevkob said:

 

You married her!!!??

 

 

<deleted>!!!??

 

 

more like she takes her daughter who's asleep while she bangs said old man

 

 

Good case for chemical castration

 

 

She sounds like a keeper

 

 

Definitely a keeper, just what we all dream about.... an ex bar girl with a 4yo daughter who shags an old man for money while married to you. Even the Thai soapies would struggle to come up with a plot like this.

Troll Post!!!!!

 

I already know who’s daughter it is, farang and his wife I’m good friends with them don’t worry she doesn’t have an kid. Not troll post I’m at nana this weekend so if you have time over, come get an beer with me? :) I’m still with her but not for long... I tried my best to leave yesterday. To hard for me to leave I packed my stuff went out and couldn’t leave I tried my best. I’m not sure how to do. This isn’t my first time with an girl it have been easier before now I just cant leave.. so if anyone want and have time just message me and we can take an beer at nana or somewhere else. 

[twizzian]

The heart rules the head.

Dump it!

[Been there done that]

What a joke.

[Petchou]

21 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

I edited my post after I saw you were married as I guess you could use that as a visa too.

 

You're 23 years old.  Assuming you take care of yourself then you can pull any number of normal Thai girls who you don't have to give any money to and who are a lot less likely to be ****ing other men.

 

I got here when I was 24 and I remember how easy it was.  I never gave anybody any money, if a girl asked for it I just say goodbye and moved onto the next one.

 

You can start to pay for girls' company when you're 50 or 60.  No need to do it at that age.

Even at that age you don't need.  Believe me. If you do it it means you have nothing else to offer.

[dfdgfdfdgs]

6 hours ago, smotherb said:

However, I see no reason why you should have to pay at 50 or 60; if you have something going for you other than just money. The same logic applies; talk with them, if they ask for money, go on to the next.

 

Agree entirely but I meant if you are 50 and 60 and want to continue sleeping with 20-something year olds.

[cyberfarang]

 

[khunPer]

On 12/14/2017 at 11:33 AM, faranglomjay said:

Anyway I lost work 1 month ago and I support her family and now when I can't then she did like this meet him... but now I have work back she still meet him he goes back 19th I told her I can't deal with this, should I leave her? Or should I stay? I already have decided to leave her but I love her to much so I can't. What would you do? Just give me real answers..

A Thai lady has a responsibility to support her family, and that responsibility sometimes (if not often) comes before anything else, even you and your wife are both young and almost same age – a young handsome and lovely guy that faced financial instability, compared to a (stable) elder sponsor; i.e. "Money number one", which is also the title of a popular book about relationship with birds from the nightlife.

 

I know it's difficult (hard) when one have strong feelings, and realize that perhaps money matters more; which seem to be likely, when she meet an old "friend", which you presume is in his second half of his sixties.

 

I'm also Scandinavia – one of those elder ones – and I've known, and still know, many young girls looking for a partner. One girl, about 20, I talked a lot with, fell deeply in love with a young Norwegian guy, who however was a poor student that had to return after a month long holiday, to continue his study in classical music at the university (music academy) in Oslo. He was unable to support this young lady, even he so much wanted to, and she was prepared to find another job to both make a living for herself and support her family. That's where I came into the picture. She worked in a small bar on a southern island. I used to have a juice in that daytime-bar in the afternoon after walking the beach, and this young gorgeous lady would try to squeeze a game and drink from my soft heart (i.e. difficult to resist). She slowly, over a couple of days, unveiled her story, and that she could get a (to my surprise) well paid job as nanny in Bangkok, but didn't have money for a bus ticket up there, and her heart would brake if she had to go with someone, to find the money. Her story was verified, no bullshit, so finally I helped her with money for a ticket up, and also gave her a book about understanding a relationship with a farang ("Thailand Fever"). So far so good, even the "mama san" in the bar was happy. But a few month later I sadly realized that she was back in the same bar; mingling with old men. »Big mouth,« mama san said. »Speak to much to her mother, nanny-job only pays 3,500 baht a month, her mother want more money.«

»By the way, very good book...« smiled mama san, having already read half of it.

 

I never heard anything again about the young classical musician, even I often meet this lovely working girl in that particular holiday village during a number of years; however, she was changing to different locations to find a regular sponsor for her mother's demands. One day she was gone, so hopefully she both succeeded, and got a happy life.

 

Why I mention this little real-life story? Because birds from the nightlife may not all be bad birds, they may have a very good reason to why they act, as they do; and looking at the bright side of life, this almost teenagerlove might anyway not have lasted...

 

I wish you, OP faranglomjay, good luck in finding a solution; which eventually only you can decide...

 

 

[faranglomjay]

1 hour ago, khunPer said:

A Thai lady has a responsibility to support her family, and that responsibility sometimes (if not often) comes before anything else, even you and your wife are both young and almost same age – a young handsome and lovely guy that faced financial instability, compared to a (stable) elder sponsor; i.e. "Money number one", which is also the title of a popular book about relationship with birds from the nightlife.

 

I know it's difficult (hard) when one have strong feelings, and realize that perhaps money matters more; which seem to be likely, when she meet an old "friend", which you presume is in his second half of his sixties.

 

I'm also Scandinavia – one of those elder ones – and I've known, and still know, many young girls looking for a partner. One girl, about 20, I talked a lot with, fell deeply in love with a young Norwegian guy, who however was a poor student that had to return after a month long holiday, to continue his study in classical music at the university (music academy) in Oslo. He was unable to support this young lady, even he so much wanted to, and she was prepared to find another job to both make a living for herself and support her family. That's where I came into the picture. She worked in a small bar on a southern island. I used to have a juice in that daytime-bar in the afternoon after walking the beach, and this young gorgeous lady would try to squeeze a game and drink from my soft heart (i.e. difficult to resist). She slowly, over a couple of days, unveiled her story, and that she could get a (to my surprise) well paid job as nanny in Bangkok, but didn't have money for a bus ticket up there, and her heart would brake if she had to go with someone, to find the money. Her story was verified, no bullshit, so finally I helped her with money for a ticket up, and also gave her a book about understanding a relationship with a farang ("Thailand Fever"). So far so good, even the "mama san" in the bar was happy. But a few month later I sadly realized that she was back in the same bar; mingling with old men. »Big mouth,« mama san said. »Speak to much to her mother, nanny-job only pays 3,500 baht a month, her mother want more money.«

»By the way, very good book...« smiled mama san, having already read half of it.

 

I never heard anything again about the young classical musician, even I often meet this lovely working girl in that particular holiday village during a number of years; however, she was changing to different locations to find a regular sponsor for her mother's demands. One day she was gone, so hopefully she both succeeded, and got a happy life.

 

Why I mention this little real-life story? Because birds from the nightlife may not all be bad birds, they may have a very good reason to why they act, as they do; and looking at the bright side of life, this almost teenagerlove might anyway not have lasted...

 

I wish you, OP faranglomjay, good luck in finding a solution; which eventually only you can decide...

 

 

I love you story Thanks for telning me about it, im drunk and sittning here Thinking IF i should do something tonight about it let to see cheers

[ExpatOilWorker]

The OP is 23 years old, you have 20 years of shagging (and enjoying your life) before you settle down with a 22 years old girl and start a family.

[todlad]

I agree with the general sentiments here. There was a Brit on here recently who arrived, found a woman quickly and then lost his reason. He wanted to give her money for rent. Give her money for her business. Was asking whether he should sell up in the UK and move in with his Thai dream girl.

Answer = No!

I had a lovely Thai gf years ago but she made me feel a bit insecure so I told her from time to time, only you and only me. Came close to suggesting marriage then Mike turned up. She'd been boning both of us: me when I was here, him when I left for work.

I left her. Never looked back.

 

Be decisive: look after yourself. You are young with many opportunities here. Like that Brit I started with, you might lust after her rather than love her. Learn to tell the difference.

[faranglomjay]

38 minutes ago, todlad said:

I agree with the general sentiments here. There was a Brit on here recently who arrived, found a woman quickly and then lost his reason. He wanted to give her money for rent. Give her money for her business. Was asking whether he should sell up in the UK and move in with his Thai dream girl.

Answer = No!

I had a lovely Thai gf years ago but she made me feel a bit insecure so I told her from time to time, only you and only me. Came close to suggesting marriage then Mike turned up. She'd been boning both of us: me when I was here, him when I left for work.

I left her. Never looked back.

 

Be decisive: look after yourself. You are young with many opportunities here. Like that Brit I started with, you might lust after her rather than love her. Learn to tell the difference.

I stay with her 24/7 but not When she meet him... 

[Different]

You will be a fool if you leave her, stay and let the old man feel sorry for banging her while she is your wife.

[LukKrueng]

On 12/15/2017 at 7:48 AM, stevkob said:

 

You married her!!!??

 

 

<deleted>!!!??

 

 

more like she takes her daughter who's asleep while she bangs said old man

 

 

Good case for chemical castration

 

 

She sounds like a keeper

 

 

Definitely a keeper, just what we all dream about.... an ex bar girl with a 4yo daughter who shags an old man for money while married to you. Even the Thai soapies would struggle to come up with a plot like this.

Troll Post!!!!!

 

the first one to call it what it is - a troll... I'm always amazed reading all the "serious" advice replies such obvious trolls get from TVF members...

[faranglomjay]

6 hours ago, LukKrueng said:

the first one to call it what it is - a troll... I'm always amazed reading all the "serious" advice replies such obvious trolls get from TVF members...

Not sure why you think I’m trolling still? 

[faranglomjay]

Here is the big update, last night I got to drunk started to get mad as usual when I drink.. I went up to his hotel room bang bang I scream open the door, no one there. I called him asked were he was he said iris pub nana I go there well I basically run there hit him on the shoulder I said are you *** ****** (obv not going to say his name) he said yes, I sit down ordered a beer screaming at everyone and I calmed down for about a second and I asked him did you <deleted> my wife? He clearly got scared I looked in to his eyes he said no. Something weren’t right I got mad again and asked him many many times he still said no, guards came “lucky” me I know them, they just told me to calm down the old man got supriced by that and admitted to one thing, he only asked her once to <deleted> but she never did. But they never had sex before he only see her like an daughter because he doesn’t have anyone else I still don’t believe this dude I just took my beer throw it at him and left. My wife know everything and what I did. She’s mad for sure!!! He somehow forgot I did that last night and today the old man and my wife still talks.... tomorrow she go there again with her grandmother and younger nieces and stay until he goes back. I told her if she doesn’t listen to me now she will never listen to me so what’s the point of being married? I have no idea what to do still should I believe him? And stay with her or not believe and leave her??

[SpokaneAl]

Here is the big update, last night I got to drunk started to get mad as usual when I drink.. I went up to his hotel room bang bang I scream open the door, no one there. I called him asked were he was he said iris pub nana I go there well I basically run there hit him on the shoulder I said are you *** ****** (obv not going to say his name) he said yes, I sit down ordered a beer screaming at everyone and I calmed down for about a second and I asked him did you my wife? He clearly got scared I looked in to his eyes he said no. Something weren’t right I got mad again and asked him many many times he still said no, guards came “lucky” me I know them, they just told me to calm down the old man got supriced by that and admitted to one thing, he only asked her once to but she never did. But they never had sex before he only see her like an daughter because he doesn’t have anyone else I still don’t believe this dude I just took my beer throw it at him and left. My wife know everything and what I did. She’s mad for sure!!! He somehow forgot I did that last night and today the old man and my wife still talks.... tomorrow she go there again with her grandmother and younger nieces and stay until he goes back. I told her if she doesn’t listen to me now she will never listen to me so what’s the point of being married? I have no idea what to do still should I believe him? And stay with her or not believe and leave her??

  

Maintain your current life trajectory and I predict many more angry, drunken rages in your future.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

[xylophone]

48 minutes ago, faranglomjay said:

Here is the big update, last night I got to drunk started to get mad as usual when I drink.. I went up to his hotel room bang bang I scream open the door, no one there. I called him asked were he was he said iris pub nana I go there well I basically run there hit him on the shoulder I said are you *** ****** (obv not going to say his name) he said yes, I sit down ordered a beer screaming at everyone and I calmed down for about a second and I asked him did you <deleted> my wife? He clearly got scared I looked in to his eyes he said no. Something weren’t right I got mad again and asked him many many times he still said no, guards came “lucky” me I know them, they just told me to calm down the old man got supriced by that and admitted to one thing, he only asked her once to <deleted> but she never did. But they never had sex before he only see her like an daughter because he doesn’t have anyone else I still don’t believe this dude I just took my beer throw it at him and left. My wife know everything and what I did. She’s mad for sure!!! He somehow forgot I did that last night and today the old man and my wife still talks.... tomorrow she go there again with her grandmother and younger nieces and stay until he goes back. I told her if she doesn’t listen to me now she will never listen to me so what’s the point of being married? I have no idea what to do still should I believe him? And stay with her or not believe and leave her??

Try looking at this from another angle, but before I get onto that I will say that there are many other posters on here who have said that you are still very young and have plenty of time to look around and see if there are any other girls/ladies who take your fancy, so remember that.

 

You ask whether you should stay with her or not, but so far you have had nothing but doubts about her integrity and her honesty with regards to you and other relationship she may or may not be having.

 

If you have those doubts now, then the chances are you will have them forever and the next time something happens, you will remember this and the whole thing will start up again.

 

Trust, in my opinion, is the bedrock of most relationships and it's quite obvious you don't have that at the moment and for want of better terminology, whatever trust you had has been tested/broken.

 

Walk away, chalk it up to experience, remember that you are still young and the whole world is ahead of you, and get on with your life without this person.

[faranglomjay]

24 minutes ago, SpokaneAl said:

 

So you get drunk and tried to start a fight with the old guy. Sounds like a twenty something’s solution to a problem, rather than facing the situation head on. Get the hell out of that relationship and this country. Go home, start a life, figure out a career and enjoy things as you grow up and, with a bit of luck, mature. You are way out of your element here.

 

Caveat - all of this is assuming that this really is true, and not just someone enjoying pulling people along.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

This doesn’t have to do with my career at all, I already have an career and more work then I need, I just had a problem with my old job and lost it but got back up in a few weeks. And no I didn’t punch him or anything like that I faced the problems if you read I asked him many times about it. Not sure if I have somewhere to go back to. Thailand is my home and it will stay like this forever. Sorry for being here I guess? There is more to the story then I might tell because I’m not trying to hang him out here, he have said way to many things to me but I don’t see why I should hang him out? If I would I could have given names address numbers everything about him. But I’m not going to.

[Kadilo]

Here is the big update, last night I got to drunk started to get mad as usual when I drink.. I went up to his hotel room bang bang I scream open the door, no one there. I called him asked were he was he said iris pub nana I go there well I basically run there hit him on the shoulder I said are you *** ****** (obv not going to say his name) he said yes, I sit down ordered a beer screaming at everyone and I calmed down for about a second and I asked him did you my wife? He clearly got scared I looked in to his eyes he said no. Something weren’t right I got mad again and asked him many many times he still said no, guards came “lucky” me I know them, they just told me to calm down the old man got supriced by that and admitted to one thing, he only asked her once to but she never did. But they never had sex before he only see her like an daughter because he doesn’t have anyone else I still don’t believe this dude I just took my beer throw it at him and left. My wife know everything and what I did. She’s mad for sure!!! He somehow forgot I did that last night and today the old man and my wife still talks.... tomorrow she go there again with her grandmother and younger nieces and stay until he goes back. I told her if she doesn’t listen to me now she will never listen to me so what’s the point of being married? I have no idea what to do still should I believe him? And stay with her or not believe and leave her??

Very adult. I'm not sure what you are trying to achieve. Do you honestly think he is going to tell you he has slept with your wife even if he had?
The only thing you have achieved is for her to think you are some kind of crank and probably drove her ore towards him.
The only real advice is what has been give already many times. To keep some self respect intact walk away. The relationship is a sham shortly to become shambolic.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[thaibeachlovers]

I will be contrary to everyone else here and say stay with her, if only for the visa extensions. 

Take the time to think about what you really want, and what she really wants- does she just want you for money to give her family?

DO NOT have children. Use a condom and if she asks why say because you have a problem with her seeing this old guy. Better to tell the truth than lie. If she thinks you want to leave she might try to get pregnant to keep the money coming.

Don't let her know how much money you have and don't  keep money in a joint account.

I'd open a bank account for my money that she doesn't know about.

Don't but anything that you can't afford to leave behind.

 

Once you have at least 6 months time you should be more clear on your marriage and what your options are.

I left my first in haste and still regret I did so even 40 years later. Had I taken my time I'd still have left her, but not lost everything, as I did.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, faranglomjay said:

Here is the big update, last night I got to drunk started to get mad as usual when I drink.. I went up to his hotel room bang bang I scream open the door, no one there. I called him asked were he was he said iris pub nana I go there well I basically run there hit him on the shoulder I said are you *** ****** (obv not going to say his name) he said yes, I sit down ordered a beer screaming at everyone and I calmed down for about a second and I asked him did you <deleted> my wife? He clearly got scared I looked in to his eyes he said no. Something weren’t right I got mad again and asked him many many times he still said no, guards came “lucky” me I know them, they just told me to calm down the old man got supriced by that and admitted to one thing, he only asked her once to <deleted> but she never did. But they never had sex before he only see her like an daughter because he doesn’t have anyone else I still don’t believe this dude I just took my beer throw it at him and left. My wife know everything and what I did. She’s mad for sure!!! He somehow forgot I did that last night and today the old man and my wife still talks.... tomorrow she go there again with her grandmother and younger nieces and stay until he goes back. I told her if she doesn’t listen to me now she will never listen to me so what’s the point of being married? I have no idea what to do still should I believe him? And stay with her or not believe and leave her??

Sounds to me that you are driving her to go see him because you are upsetting her with your anger.

Only person you hurt with that anger is yourself.

If you don't calm down you won't have to leave her, she will leave you.

[Testokan]

2 Options: 

Get sober, stop drinking, analyze the situation with a clear head and decide what you want to do in life. 

Or continue drinking and raging, then let the situation develop. But the end will be bitter and unpleasant for everybody. 

 

Good luck

 

 

[Anthony Loh]

Stay with the one that love you and not only you love her. If you found out that she on longer love you anymore, leave her alone and look for you truest love, no point for you to waste your time to the one that no longer love you. Life is short! Enjoy every minutes you own! Cheers

[Gracas]

8 hours ago, faranglomjay said:

Here is the big update, last night I got to drunk started to get mad as usual when I drink.. I went up to his hotel room bang bang I scream open the door, no one there. I called him asked were he was he said iris pub nana I go there well I basically run there hit him on the shoulder I said are you *** ****** (obv not going to say his name) he said yes, I sit down ordered a beer screaming at everyone and I calmed down for about a second and I asked him did you <deleted> my wife? He clearly got scared I looked in to his eyes he said no. Something weren’t right I got mad again and asked him many many times he still said no, guards came “lucky” me I know them, they just told me to calm down the old man got supriced by that and admitted to one thing, he only asked her once to <deleted> but she never did. But they never had sex before he only see her like an daughter because he doesn’t have anyone else I still don’t believe this dude I just took my beer throw it at him and left. My wife know everything and what I did. She’s mad for sure!!! He somehow forgot I did that last night and today the old man and my wife still talks.... tomorrow she go there again with her grandmother and younger nieces and stay until he goes back. I told her if she doesn’t listen to me now she will never listen to me so what’s the point of being married? I have no idea what to do still should I believe him? And stay with her or not believe and leave her??

Well, if the guy did not get a leg over with your wife before, he will now.

[faranglomjay]

7 hours ago, Gracas said:

Well, if the guy did not get a leg over with your wife before, he will now.

Yeah, I guess that’s true. I’m just tired of everything and confused...  let this nightmare end fast and easy. I’ll keep everything updated what my plans are.

[GOLDBUGGY]

19 hours ago, faranglomjay said:

Here is the big update, last night I got to drunk started to get mad as usual when I drink.. I went up to his hotel room bang bang I scream open the door, no one there. I called him asked were he was he said iris pub nana I go there well I basically run there hit him on the shoulder I said are you *** ****** (obv not going to say his name) he said yes, I sit down ordered a beer screaming at everyone and I calmed down for about a second and I asked him did you <deleted> my wife? He clearly got scared I looked in to his eyes he said no. Something weren’t right I got mad again and asked him many many times he still said no, guards came “lucky” me I know them, they just told me to calm down the old man got supriced by that and admitted to one thing, he only asked her once to <deleted> but she never did. But they never had sex before he only see her like an daughter because he doesn’t have anyone else I still don’t believe this dude I just took my beer throw it at him and left. My wife know everything and what I did. She’s mad for sure!!! He somehow forgot I did that last night and today the old man and my wife still talks.... tomorrow she go there again with her grandmother and younger nieces and stay until he goes back. I told her if she doesn’t listen to me now she will never listen to me so what’s the point of being married? I have no idea what to do still should I believe him? And stay with her or not believe and leave her??

Let me see if I got this right!

 

You knowingly married a Bar Girl who may have slept with a hundred other men before you, but now you are jealous of some guy 3 times your age, who she may or may not have slept with before? Who she now vistis with her Grandmother!

 

Well before I was pretty sure, but now I am positive.

 

Go Home and Grow Up and come back when you are Mentally Mature. 

 

Geeze! 

[Mansell]

If she tells the old man you are the boyfriend, then she is a liar and not trustworthy at all. Be glad you found out before you got really invested. It might be painful for a while, but like falling off a horse, you get right back on again. If you keep thinking about her in a positive light you will be torturing yourself. See her naked with dog feces all over her and rats tails hanging out of her mouth.....you will soon have moved on. You are young.....time to move on. Like one poster said, when they ask for money he says, bye bye. In six months time you life will have changed enormously.

[BEVUP]

She just ditched you that's why she took Grandmother to make arrangements for her to stay with him 

I guess the piss brings out the best of us & that's probably why shes there 

[mikiea]

On 12/14/2017 at 5:46 PM, sirmud63 said:

you can take the girl out of the bar , but you carnt take bar out of the girl . 

pull the pin mate .

she is 22 going on 47 .... pick up your feets and put down as fast as you can  only 22 and a 5 year relationship with JODY ?  dude  are you still here ?  ....run....