You Know You've Been In Thailand Too Long When...

[mrkhawkes]

When you go up to a fat bloke you have never met and ask "how many babies?" while patting him on the gut.

[Jingthing]

When you use Thai tonal pronunciation on English words even to other farangs, I from AmareeKAH

When you speak pidgeon Thaiglish to Thai hisos who graduated from Oxford

When you visit your home country, and you are asked you want fries with that, and you say Khrap!

Edited January 18, 2007 by Jingthing

[Jet Gorgon]

When you throw food scraps out the kitchen window, but sweep up all the leaves twice a day.

When you know which neighbour's dog stole one of your flipflops.

When you cannot tie shoelaces.

When you know your kid can be found eating something at one of the many neighbours homes.

When you have small kids and have never bought diapers.

When you can eat curry that's been sitting out all day and you don't get sick.

When the local shop runs a tab for you.

When you start arguing about lottery numbers.

When you drop a spoon, pick it up, wipe it off on your sleeve and continue eating.

When you shrug and borrow a neighbour's bike because somebody has taken yours.

When you add chilis to farang food.

When you go back to the home country, call shopclerks Nong or Pi, crouch and wave your hand if you have to pass between two people talking, throw toilet tissue in the bin and keep a bucket of water beside the loo, and wonder why everybody is in such a hurry.

[dogblower]

Yes to most of these, but I still haven't been here too long.

[andy1308]

... when you hail a taxi from the street and the driver is someone that you've had before.

[Neeranam]

you look both ways when crossing a one way street.

you see a group of schoolgirls dressed in pyjamas in the early evening and think nothing of it

You understand that the taxi driver who says "no meter" is not a driver you want even if you make him turn on the meter.

Farangs answering their mobile phone with 'khap pom' doesn't annoy you as much as it used to

when you've read threads like this at least ten times

you can get into a lift before anyone can get out

you wear a jacket in january

[Jookster]

When your missus asks you "Do you fancy going out for a beer tonight".

And you reply "Up to you".

Pardon my ignorance, please explain!!!!

[khall64au]

When you look at Thai fashions and say "that's nice" - even if you have no hope of ever fitting into it....

[xbusman]

When you have a motocy helmet.... and no motocy

When you have toilet paper in every room of the house..... except the bathroom

When you visit the old country and are horrified to actually walk into a home with your shoes on.

When you successfully negotiate with the police for the Thai bribe instead of the farang bribe.

When you take a bit of rice up to the bedroom just in case you wake at 2 am.

When you find yourself watching the katoey beauty pagent and rooting for a contestant.

When you start driving on the sidewalks.

When you call customs before importing to find out what the current corruption charges are so you can price accordingly.

When you are grateful that a democratically elected government is thrown out by a military junta.... Think about it....

When your comfortable peeing in a room full of girls putting on makeup.

When you use a calculator to tally up your golf score or anything other math function with more than two numbers.

When you pick a phone number, or any other number, because its "lucky"

[The Skipper]

When you have 20 bottles of sauce in the fridge and not one is ketchup.

[terry57]

when you walk into any toilet and dont notice the cleaning lady mopping the floor whilst one takes a leak.

[Momo8]

.....When a few shots of Mekong no longer gives you a buzz

......When you start to like the smell of the bus

.......When you find western toilets uncomfortable

........When you think that the heavy air actually contains nutrients that you need to stay healthy

.........When your body no longer accepts dairy products

...........When you go to Macdonalds to put some solids back in your body

.............When you think a sexual pervert is a man who prefers money to women

Edited January 19, 2007 by Momo8

[tuky]

When your cutlery draw contains forks, spoons but no knives.

[Momo8]

....When you always leave tray and trash on the table when you are in Maccas because you insist it's the way to keep everyone employed

.......When you think it's OK that your Thai girlfriend also has a Thai boyfriend too because she doesn't like him

.........When you find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage when the plane is on final approach

.............When listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English,you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller

...............When you no longer need to tell the taxi driver where you live after a big night out, because most of them have taken you home at some stage so they all know where you live

.................When your family stops asking you when are you coming back?

Edited January 19, 2007 by Momo8

[kmart]

When asked for directions, you purse your lips and point with your mouth.

When you can spend your salary in the car accessories shop.

You can bet a similar amount on 2 raindrops running down a window.

Your luggage on international flights is mostly durian and sticky rice.

[cdnvic]

...you gather up all your plastic bottles, old shopping bags, and burn them in the back yard.

[WilliamCave]

When you start excepting thai time as the norm for the world

When a member of the family comes for the weekend and stays 3 years.

Have to lock things up in the house from family thiefs

When they empty the gas tank of the car

Invite the wife for a romantic dinner and the whole village comes

Around the dinner table one glass is used by all.

Sneezing with out covering the mouth is ok

Every person in the house wearing the same sandles

going to the bathroom with the door open.

Hacking up the polution in your lungs and thinking it is a beautiful day

The Kaha Toie's look better than the women

(accepting this now I am thai lolol)

....When you always leave tray and trash on the table when you are in Maccas because you insist it's the way to keep everyone employed

.......When you think it's OK that your Thai girlfriend also has a Thai boyfriend too because she doesn't like him

.........When you find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage when the plane is on final approach

.............When listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English,you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller

...............When you no longer need to tell the taxi driver where you live after a big night out, because most of them have taken you home at some stage so they all know where you live

.................When your family stops asking you when are you coming back?

[Momo8]

.......When smoking is one of the dinner courses

..........When people who knew you when you first arrived don't recognize you

.............When Thais stop you in the street and ask you for directions

................When all the top government officials you befriended when you first got here are not retired and living in your home country

..........................When you can't think of anything unusual enough to put on this list

[kmart]

You can hear a pin drop 2km away at nighttime but cannot hear the telly at less than 140 decibels volume.

You can categorize everything into two distinctions; "suai", and "mai suai".

You can fall asleep on a wall.

[Gumballl]

... you've grown accustomed to walking 30m from the house to go to the toilet room.

... driving 1/2 km past your destination, just so you can make a U-turn to come back, seems perfectly normal

... having a few beers starting at 7:30am is ok

... waking up everyday at 5:30am becomes second nature; and then retiring in the evening around 7pm.

[Mid]

driving 1/2 km past your destination, just so you can make a U-turn to come back, seems perfectly normal

round here .......................

more likely 5 k's up the wrong side just to avoid this scenario ...................

[Soju]

When walking down a busy street, you don't even bat an eyelash at the elephant walking beside you, even when it trumpets loudly in your ear, but you do wonder why so many tourists are gawking and pulling out their cameras to take a picture.

[November Rain]

...when you accept the straw and plastic bag along with your purchased can of Chang from the 7-11

...when you go to the beach & even paddle in the sea fully dressed

[Doza]

When you get p*ssed off at the motorcycle taxi guy for going too slow or not tryin to squeeze in between the cement truck and the bus doing 80km/h up Sukhumvit. You are annoyed he could have got your there quicker and was being too cautious!

[Momo8]

.....When you start blaming all your health problems on the weather

........When you don't think it strange that a beggar owns a mobile phone

...........When you are become the neighbourhood chess champion

..............When you believe everything you read in the newspapers as true

[t.s]

When socks seem like a strange idea. But if you are going to wear them, they go just fine with thongs.

be gone mental picture, be gone.

[Jet Gorgon]

...when you accept the straw and plastic bag along with your purchased can of Chang from the 7-11

...when you go to the beach & even paddle in the sea fully dressed

Yes, the beer straw and baggie. This is an important cultural attribute of LOS.

Edited January 19, 2007 by Jet Gorgon

[cdnvic]

When guests arrive at your house you guide them into the driveway with a whistle.

[ashacat]

You can categorize everything into two distinctions; "suai", and "mai suai".

When guests arrive at your house you guide them into the driveway with a whistle.

haha!! Good ones!

[Neeranam]

when you know Bngkok better than a taxi driver

when you meet someone who's been in Thailand for 7 years and you think he's a newbie

when you say 'oohhh oh' at least once an hour, or once a minute whils watching football.

Edited January 19, 2007 by Neeranam