The Answer to all my Questions – Because they don’t care!

[rooster59]

The Answer to all my Questions – Because they don’t care!

By Dan Cheeseman

 

 

I thought once, I thought twice, I even slept on it: Should I make this blog? I even asked my wife, but I knew the answer there – of course post it she would say, and, of course, that is what she said. So my conclusion, it is my blog and my personal space to share my thoughts and opinions on being in Thailand, so yes I will post it. We are all entitled to an opinion, even if it turns out to be a minority view.

 

Now the story begins a few weeks ago when I was driving to Bangkok with two of my foreign staff and we were discussing the pros and cons of living in Thailand. I am sure this type of conversation is common among expats in Thailand; Thailand is beautiful and has so many redeeming factors – but it also has a few cons to it too. And yes, before you all leap to the defence of living here, all countries have pros and cons I am aware of this. Do remember, I have chosen Thailand as I think on average it is still my best option. I just wanted to give this blog some positioning and background before I got to the heart of my message.

 

Anyway playfully someone in the car, in a throw away comment, said of Thais the comment ‘Because they don’t care’ (the actual phrase used had a bit more of an expletive, but I thought best about using this here!). Normally I would dismiss such a comment as a bit nasty, but then I stopped and applied this comment to a number of scenarios I have experienced living here.

 

It was one of those moments, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This hypothesis seemingly had some merit to it. “Let me test it again, it must just be chance that it seems to fit with any problem I have had here” I thought to myself. “The reason Thais are late to meetings…”, “Why is my nanny late to my house most days…”, “Why is customer service bad in many of the restaurants I eat in…”,”Why does xxx in my team keep forgetting to do certain tasks…”, “Why was my balcony ceiling repaired and finished using a gloss paint when the rest of the ceiling was painted with matt?”. It fit and it kept fitting. So, I threw the hypothesis out to my team in the car: Apply ‘because they don’t care’ to any issue you have had living in Thailand (which by the way are frequent).

 

Full story: https://danaboutthailand.com/2018/05/05/the-answer-to-all-my-questions-because-they-dont-give-a-fk/

 

DAN ABOUT THAILAND

Weekly Vlogs and Blogs from in and around Thailand

 

[darksidedog]

I think there are two issues, not just the one. There is I dont care and there also is I really don't know how to do that. I decided a long time back that if a job needed to be done well, to do it myself. Not always easy, but has saved me much disappointment and frustration.

[Thian]

Easy to answer your questions, guess you haven't lived here long enough.

 

 “The reason Thais are late to meetings…”, “Why is my nanny late to my house most days…”,

 

-because you won't punish her and she also couldn't help the flooding in her street.

 

“Why is customer service bad in many of the restaurants I eat in…

 

Can you name me 1 hotel/restaurant where it all goes flawless in Thailand? They have never seen the good example of a pro in the West.

 

”,”Why does xxx in my team keep forgetting to do certain tasks…

 

Because that's how he is, heat makes the brain work less focused

 

”, “Why was my balcony ceiling repaired and finished using a gloss paint when the rest of the ceiling was painted with matt?”

 

Have you ever tried to buy paint in Thailand? They have mixing computers but didn't get training how to use them. And about matt or shiny there's even a 3rd one now these days, forgot the name for it. You might have that one on the wall.

 

 
. It fit and it kept fitting. So, I threw the hypothesis out to my team in the car: Apply ‘because they don’t care’ to any issue you have had living in Thailand (which by the way are frequent).

 

But yes, the Thai don't care for many things at all.Don't mess with their food though, but they can easy share the chair, plate, cutlery or eat inferior food as long as it's there when they're hungry.

 

 

[starky]

Thai bash... Almost as if someone who lived under a bridge had written it.

Edited May 6, 2018 by starky

[klauskunkel]

I agree with most of it, however, there is another possible answer to some scenarios: "because it's easier that way"

[canuckamuck]

The list of things they care about is much smaller than ours. In fact we take too many things too seriously. That is not to say that they are wise to not care about more things, but that our priorities are not often in line.

 

They do care way to much about some things, like perceived insults. They care way too little about safety.

We care way too much about safety, but not enough about leaving time for living and family.

[ezzra]

It's all comes down to what values were installed in a young child

as he grows up and watch his parents and sibling behaviour while

they go thru life doing everyday things, if you were thought not to

meddle, not to concern yourself too much with loyalty and perfection

 or doing something well and have pride and satisfaction doing it, 

this is how that child will grow to behave for the rest of his life...

[taichiplanet]

sorry, the answer is 42

[topt]

1 hour ago, Thian said:

Have you ever tried to buy paint in Thailand? They have mixing computers but didn't get training how to use them. And about matt or shiny there's even a 3rd one now these days, forgot the name for it. You might have that one on the wall.

Yes on several occasions - and they knew how to use the machine and some were even very knowledgeable about paint.

 

The "3rd one" would probably be a  "satin" finish and has been around for a long time.........

 

 

[Juan B Tong]

Well..

 

I don't care either!

[Thian]

12 minutes ago, topt said:

The "3rd one" would probably be a  "satin" finish and has been around for a long time.........

 

No it wasn't satin how they called it, it was in between matt and gloss and new. I had never heard of it before though, not even in the West.

 

In one huge TOA specialised paintshop around the corner i went in to buy paint and new the colorname. She looked in that pc and said :no hab....i told her to scroll down the list of paintcolors but she didn't understand me..so i took her mouse and scrolled the list down, 1000 more colornames were there. She had never seen that before...amazing thailand.

[marko kok prong]

I believe a lot has to do with living in a hot humid climate i will give an example .

   A few years back my ex wife brought a piece of land,i offered to help her clear it as it was all overgrown,so there was her,a relation of hers and me. Having lived originally in the Uk then Australia,i steamed into it,i noticed my wife and the other lady [completely covered from head to toe] swinging away slowly, stopping every few minutes.After an hour i was soaked through with sweat and done in from the heat,my legs,i had foolishly worn shorts,covered in a mass of scratches from bramble type things,i was out,and had to go home where it took a few cold beers and a cold ab nam to revive me.

  So out of neccesity life is led at a slower pace. The country has changed a lot too in a short period of time,i first came in 89 as a backpacker the change since then is incredible.  As too keeping time Thai's simply cannot,they have a different perception of it that us. Forgetfullness,my current wife is hopeless as is her Mother,letters come for me,Mum puts them in a special place to give to my wife to give to me,then forgets either all about it,or where she put it,once my wife finally gets it it will take at least another week before she remembers to give it to me. I have told her try and focus on what you are doing,for instance i took her in my car to pick up her motorbike she left at her friends house overnight cos she was too drunk to drive it home,so the whole point of going there was to get the bike,we get there,she has forgotten to bring the key ! iI looked at my watch about 11.30 am, so all she is thinking is about what she is going to eat hence the forgotten key,after six years i no longer,or rarely get angry about it it's just their way.

  Ever nationality have their quirks,if you don't want to go nuts you just have to accept it.But i disagree they don't care about anything,they do,it is just what is important to them differs from what is important to us expats.

 I think if you can accept that your halfway there,i guess i failed to do that in my first marriage,which was one of the factors [among other's] it failed. I am much more chilled out with my second wife,there is much less friction or arguments,so i hope that this time it is a long and happy marriage.

[terryofcrete]

1 hour ago, Thian said:

No it wasn't satin how they called it, it was in between matt and gloss and new. I had never heard of it before though, not even in the West.

 

In one huge TOA specialised paintshop around the corner i went in to buy paint and new the colorname. She looked in that pc and said :no hab....i told her to scroll down the list of paintcolors but she didn't understand me..so i took her mouse and scrolled the list down, 1000 more colornames were there. She had never seen that before...amazing thailand.

Eggshell.... we call it 

[csabo]

In my house it has 2 screen doors at the rear. Both open into the room instead of up against the adjacent wall where they should be. I took all the screws out of the hinges on one and flipped it around so it opens the right direction. Tried with the second one but they used shit screws that are now rusted into the door jam and just strip when trying to remove them. Water was coming out from under the sink. I found they used scotch tape to seal the sink drain which mind you has no trap. I had a new fridge delivered but when it arrived they had put a big fresh dent in the door so I sent it back. When I first moved in I asked that certain items of furniture be removed. When I arrive all the furniture was gone. I asked for certain items to be returned. They returned all the wrong items despite being given photos. I plugged in a microwave and put it on a steel shelf in the kitchen which became electrified. I had to ground all the appliance sockets in the house, none except the aircons and shower heaters were done previously. One of the kitchen cabinet door handles was broken when I moved it so they said they would run to Home Pro and buy a new one. They did but it doesn't match the others. The same week I was at Home Pro and saw the one they bought hanging right next to the one that matched my others. I asked the manager for a copy of the owners ID for immigration purposes and mistakenly told her "I need it soon but not in a rush" which meant to me the next day would be fine. Four days later I asked if she had it yet and she said she had not even asked the owner yet because I said "don't rush". I told her "don't rush does not mean never". When I signed the contract it was all wrong and had to be rewritten several times. One the way to sign the contract I found a wrecked Thai motorcyclist on the side of the road and stopped to render first aid and contact an ambulance. I texted her photos of the man with the shattered femur and told her I might be late to our meeting. Her reply was "you have 30 minutes or I am leaving". Every time something was wrong the manager said it was all my fault not taking the professional road or just getting it right but instead seeking to remove herself from blame as top priority. It goes on and on and on. If you let it eat you up it will. To answer your question, the only time they care is when it's time for them to get paid. 

[csabo]

1 hour ago, Thian said:

No it wasn't satin how they called it, it was in between matt and gloss and new. I had never heard of it before though, not even in the West.

 

In one huge TOA specialised paintshop around the corner i went in to buy paint and new the colorname. She looked in that pc and said :no hab....i told her to scroll down the list of paintcolors but she didn't understand me..so i took her mouse and scrolled the list down, 1000 more colornames were there. She had never seen that before...amazing thailand.

Typical. I can't tell you the amount of times I wanted to jump behind the counter and show them how to do their jobs. I was in Lanta with a friend once and needed some strong pain meds for my back. We went to the pharmacy together and asked politely for the good stuff and was offered paracetamol. My friend said nothing, walked behind the counter, opened a closed cabinet and took out handfuls of tramadol and norgesic and walked back around the counter and said "how much?". Done and done. 

[George Bowman]

I’m sitting at my desk taking a break with sweat pouring from my body. And I still have couple of more hours of work to do. It’s really my fault because a few years ago, I let the workers pour concrete without me being there. My responsibility as I should have known better seeing as how I have lived here since ’99.

 

Throughout my making money days, I lived in Bangkok but always had a patch of land upcountry for retirement. I have dealt and interacted with both Bangkok people and upcountry folks and even after all this time I still struggle with the Thai way.

 

I have told my wife many times that most Thais simply do not care about Thailand. Littering is a ‘mai ben lai’ thing. Driving is left to fate. All students will graduate. Many Thais become wealthy from corruption. Cheating is the norm. Farangs pay more.

 

People often say that Thais are polite. My experiences over the years show just the opposite. They can be extremely rude. Waiting in line is not necessary. Showing up on time is difficult. Driving in the correct lane is an option. Pedestrians need to get out of the way. It is common to hear rude remarks about a ‘falang’ standing in line. Talking on the phone while waiting on a customer is perfectly acceptable. Butting into conversations is to be expected. Some HiSo Thais use police escorts and don’t care about others waiting in traffic.

 

Every country has its pros and cons. And no, I am not moving back to my home country.

 

What had my workers done? They had dumped a considerable amount of leftover concrete in a drainage ditch. The boss said it was the Thai way…

[runamok27]

They don’t care about different things the same way we in the West do. Their priorities are completely different from ours and the way they look around at the world around them is completely different. Trying to get them to be like a westerner is a waste of time and energy and will only drive you crazy. My wife is who she is, she is never going to think like me and that is fine with me. They obviously have the ability to care, they just care about things differently. Personally I think we care way too much about some things sometimes and is the most likely reason why there are so many sad and depressed people in the West. 

[NoshowJones]

4 hours ago, darksidedog said:

I think there are two issues, not just the one. There is I dont care and there also is I really don't know how to do that. I decided a long time back that if a job needed to be done well, to do it myself. Not always easy, but has saved me much disappointment and frustration.

What would you do if you were like me, absolutely no use at any manual labour? I have to say though I have been very satisfied with any jobs I have paid someone to do in the 12 years I have been here, whether it's around the house or a car or motorbike needing work done.

[Thaidream]

Thailand and Thais  can be the most irritating place and people if you don't understand their ways and try and change them .  It has taken me years to come to the conclusion that no matter how logically I explain to my wife or another Thai why their line of thought is fraught with problems or that Thais drive unsafely or that what someone has done is rude- they just don;t  want to get it and I think because it involves a loss of face. 

They just want to do it their way and unless I want to constantly be pissed off- I have given up completely  on trying to change anything in Thailand or Thai thinking.  I just smile and move on....or patiently wait.

[GreasyFingers]

I often ask myself why a Thai did something or not do something that appeared obvious to me. As much as I love them and love being here my only answer to  my question for a long time now has been  " they do not care". It would be good at times to be like them but having lived/worked in a controlled environment where you had to care it is difficult to change.

[soalbundy]

9 hours ago, klauskunkel said:

I agree with most of it, however, there is another possible answer to some scenarios: "because it's easier that way"

or because, "it doesn't really matter"

[MyFriend You]

'Mai Pen Rai' says it all...............why try to complicate things with Western reason??

[naboo]

1 hour ago, TunnelRat69 said:

'Mai Pen Rai' says it all...............why try to complicate things with Western reason??

 

Exactly what I was going to post.

 

At the heart of the culture, Mai Pen Rai. And if you can't see that as a positive, you're seeing it all wrong. Think again.

[samsensam]

 

another thai bashing post, from the thai visa team no less. can't we be more positive/constructive here. please?

[Kinnock]

...... because they are not as up tight and petty as we are.  Because they have bigger issues in their life than the glossiness of paint.

[MyFriend You]

11 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

another thai bashing post, from the thai visa team no less. can't we be more positive/constructive here. please?

From the same team that bashed me for telling the truth about one of their 10,000 post's people.  Guess it is 'do as I say, not as I do'

[marko kok prong]

On 5/6/2018 at 1:13 PM, runamok27 said:

They don’t care about different things the same way we in the West do. Their priorities are completely different from ours and the way they look around at the world around them is completely different. Trying to get them to be like a westerner is a waste of time and energy and will only drive you crazy. My wife is who she is, she is never going to think like me and that is fine with me. They obviously have the ability to care, they just care about things differently. Personally I think we care way too much about some things sometimes and is the most likely reason why there are so many sad and depressed people in the West. 

Great post,as i said in my own their priorities are just different,and not thinking to deeply or over analysing everything as westerners tend to do makes them a happy go lucky nation,in fact i am sure in a recent survey Thailand came close to the top in the happiness factor,when i walk around my small town i mostly see people smiling and laughing and joking compare this to the Uk everyone avoiding eye contact,tramping around under leaden skies,even Australia is starting to go that way,but you don't see as many obviously depressed people here as you do in Western countries.

[MaeJoMTB]

In Thailand, food grows all year round, no need to plant, harvest and store, and the weather is always warm.

In Europe, you need to plan for the winter, if you haven't stored enough food, or enough fuel, you die.

 

That explains everything.

When in Thailand, no need to plan or think ahead.

 

I prefer it here.

Edited May 7, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[Megasin1]

LOL to the stories, I feel for you all. Its definitely challenging, I have had many, many of these encounters and you just have to go with the flow or you would go mental.

One of my most frustrating was trying to transfer a large sum of money from UK to LOS, whilst in LOS. After many fruitless visits to the bank a girl eventually explained that nobody working for the bank was authorised to make an international call. End solution, phoned my bank in UK who lifted my ATM allowance and then just got up early every morning for 3 weeks and raided the ATM. The moment that almost caused a wobbler in this event is after driving into BKK to go to the BKK Bank head office and saying to the wife, I just need a cold coke and lets go home, as we returned to the car park there was a coca cola stand, so I asked for a coke....No Hab....LOL

One of the other biggest frustrations was constantly tooling up tradesmen in my absence whenever my wife needed a repair done, would hire some tradesman and he wouldn't have the correct tools, so she would give (i won't say loan) him mine and that was the last of them.

If a good job is 100% and 10% of that job is difficult, then effectively in Thailand everything is only 90% completed.

A nice example, was when i was having a fag at the car in the Central car park at Chonburi, awaiting the return of my wife, and I noticed that the nice new Hyundai SUV next to us had a flat tyre. The owner returned and I informed him. It rapidly became obvious that not only did he and his family not know what to do but neither did the security/car park staff so a fresh off the plane, un-acclimatised brit lost about a gallon of sweat changing his wheel. 5 days later a teddy (for my daughter) and a thank-you letter arrived through the post, so don't give up, just do the 10% yourself.