The Taliban Times:

 

James Bond has been caught by the baddie and tied to a wall.

"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No, Mr Bond, this machine will throw Ninja stars at you.  I expect you to be starred to death!"

"Shurikenned, not starred."

2 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Do they come with a free red baseball cap with 4 capital letters in white embroidered on it?

What's the difference between a Boeing airliner and a Jehovah's Witness?

You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness.

4 hours ago, billd766 said:

Do they come with a free red baseball cap with 4 capital letters in white embroidered on it?

Oh not that maga SH!T again!

 

 

 

 

4 hours ago, ballpoint said:

What's the difference between a Boeing airliner and a Jehovah's Witness?

You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness.

But on the occasional safely flying Boing you can kick them out for good!

7 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Stopit!

That melts more than my/it's heart!

I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny.

I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you."

He looked me in the eye and said,

"Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really?

Did he eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own damn business."

Why did the farmer stop stuffing goats into his truck?

There was no more ruminant.