A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ‘But why?’ they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer” – Anonymous | Travel Quote of the Day

.

OCD........I don't think so.............

.

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends

over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt

up and reveals her lack of underwear.

'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any...

skivvies?', Ole demanded.

'Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and

says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and

buy yourself some underwear.'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball

on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she,

too, is wearing no undies.

'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?'

She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says , 'For the

sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some

underwear!'

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes

her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta <deleted> hell are yer drawers?'

She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta

be able ta affarrd any.'

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well,

fer the love 'o decentcy here's a comb.....

Tidy Yourself Up!..

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.  Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. 

Little Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also threatened him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. 

 

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby".

 

The mother said: "Why, Thank you, Johnnie."

 

Johnnie said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful;  the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision".

"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be <deleted> if he needed glasses".

.

.

.

NOW THAT THE CORONAVIRUS VACCINE IS BEING ROLLED OUT...