In class today, the letter of the day was 'N',  the teacher asked everyone to think of something that begins with the letter 'N' that we were not very good at, it came to my turn,

I said spelling..............................

Sometime, in the not too distant future...

A heavily tattooed young woman turns to the old lady sitting next to her and says: "What are you staring at? There weren't any tattoos available in your youth?!"

 

"It's not that," the old lady responds. "I've spent 30 years in Asia, and several more as a Chinese teacher and what I can't get my head around is why it says on your neck 'once thawed, do not refreeze'..."

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.

IRS AUDITOR: “I Need A List Of Your Employees And How Much You Pay Them".

 

Boat Owner: “Well, There's Clarence, My Deckhand, He's Been With Me For 3 Years. I Pay Him $1,000 A Week Plus Free Room And Board.

 

Then There's The Mentally Challenged Guy. He Works About 18 Hours Every Day And Does About 90% Of The Work Around Here. He Makes About $10 Per Week, Pays His Own Room And Board, And I Buy Him A Bottle Of Bacardi Rum And A Dozen Budweisers Every Saturday Night So He Can Cope With Life. He Also Gets To Sleep With My Wife Occasionally".

 

IRS AUDITOR: “That's The Guy I Want To Talk To - The Mentally Challenged One".

 

Boat Owner: “That Would Be Me. What Would You Like To Know”?

Teacher : Why didn’t you come to school yesterday?

Me : I’m sorry, my dad’s in the hospital

 

(One week later)

Teacher: Is your dad still in the hospital?

 

Me : Yeah, he’s a doctor.

What are similarities between and hurricane and a woman?

When they come they are wet and wild and by the time they leave they take your house and your car!

Anyone remember the chiropractor joke I put on here about a week back?

17 minutes ago, Hamus Yaigh said:

Anyone remember the chiropractor joke I put on here about a week back?

 

Was that the one that got everyone's back up?

3 minutes ago, fangless said:

Was that the one that got everyone's back up?

I don't think he was involved in data recovery.

Just now, bluesofa said:

I don't think he was involved in data recovery.

It was probably the joints he was trying to recover!

2 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

I don't think he was involved in data recovery.

As a chiropractor he was probably looking at too many floppy disks.

3 minutes ago, fangless said:

As a chiropractor he was probably looking at too many floppy disks.

Did you spell the last word correctly?

10 minutes ago, fangless said:

It was probably the joints he was trying to recover!

You mean like recovering the joints on the settee with new material?

4 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

You mean like recovering the joints on the settee with new material?

It was just a knee jerk reaction as I was thinking more of the smoking variety if not the chiropractic ones!

 

 

 

 

49 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

Did you spell the last word correctly?

As you yourself have already noted in another forum today because of the nanny state auto censor facility I have to leave some words to your imagination. Or to put it another way as the Bishop said to the actress the members needs must be satisfied one way or another!!!!