After divorce what say do I have about the kids etc?

[bermondburi]

Got a possible divorce coming up. 

 

I'm happy for her to have the house if she remains in it with the kids, because they're settled in school. I'm also happy to continue financial support of about 80,000 baht a month for living costs which is what I do now, so nothing would change on that front. Basically, she can carry on living in exactly the same way. 

 

What I'm concerned about though, is if there's anything to stop her selling the house, cashing in,  and then uprooting the kids from the good school they're in. Do I have a say in what happens after? The kids are 11+12.

 

Knowing her as I do, I think she's likely to feel stuck in that arrangement, even if it's a good number to be on. 

 

So what happens after?

[blackcab]

Your future role in your children's lives depends on the custody you are awarded by the Family Court. The Court is fair and it is genuinely interested in the wellbeing of the children.

 

In the future, the only thing that will keep your wife onside will be money. Do not make the mistake of agreeing to a Court order that supports your wife in any amount over the minimum stipulated in law, which is a few thousand baht per month.

 

You need to be really hard, and only agree the lawful minimum. No school fees, no health care, no extras. Your wife will not like it, but there is nothing she can do about it.

 

The whole point is you can give your wife extra money each month, but you won't be forced to. If she starts getting difficult, and for example, won't sign their passport application then you can turn the money tap off.

 

For that deal you want shared custody.

 

On the other hand, if you agree in Court to 80k a month then that is the minimum and she will ask for topups for anything she feels like.

 

You can't stop her selling the house, but again, if she knows the money tap will get turned off she will think twice.

 

Do not give away the only advantage you have before you have even started.

[BritManToo]

15 hours ago, bermondburi said:

What I'm concerned about though, is if there's anything to stop her selling the house, cashing in,  and then uprooting the kids from the good school they're in. Do I have a say in what happens after? The kids are 11+12.

 

They'll be back in Issan and living with grandma in a month, while she moves to Pattaya.

Nothing you can do about it. Give her no money at all, walk away.

Edited February 20, 2019 by BritManToo

[Rawairat]

Each case is different, but have a proper divorce agreement and register it at the local Amphur, you can include the division of funds if the house is sold. Won’t stop her trying to sell it but you can take her to court if she does. I did a similar split with my ex and so far it has all gone amicabley but like I said at the start every case is different. Good luck

[atyclb]

On 2/20/2019 at 12:50 AM, bermondburi said:

I'm also happy to continue financial support of about 80,000 baht a month for living costs which is what I do now

 

 

what country are you living in may i ask?

[baansgr]

36 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

 

what country are you living in may i ask?

unless you have sole custody she can do what she wants.  Exactly  was my situation and feelings,  then she sold the house,  wasted it on rubbish, hadn't paid school fees for 5 years,  three whilst we were married,  then dumped the kids on me with a few shorts and shirts.firtsly insist you pay the school direct. 

[scorecard]

3 hours ago, Rawairat said:

Each case is different, but have a proper divorce agreement and register it at the local Amphur, you can include the division of funds if the house is sold. Won’t stop her trying to sell it but you can take her to court if she does. I did a similar split with my ex and so far it has all gone amicabley but like I said at the start every case is different. Good luck

How does all of that work (genuine question)?

 

My understanding is that divorce can be very simple, very quick and with very small fees at the local amphur office.

 

So what's the process / who starts an action, on what grounds etc., to get the situation before the Thai family court on the subjects of:

 

- A divorce decree?

 

- A settlement?

 

- Custody?

 

Also, in terms of custody, if the divorce has already happened, at the amphur office and probably with some settlement, then what's the process to get the custody item into the family court?

 

Or can custody be decided, documented and legally binding at the Amphur office?

 

 

[JimP]

Lawyer up and squash your ex-wife's hopes of the easy life with your income potential, but do not share it. As stated in previous posts, go for the minimum court order and have the bulk of your money for leverage when she acts up.  

[KhaoYai]

Clearly there is property involved - see a lawyer.  The lawyer may say different but one thing I would advise you - in Thailand or anywhere - do it through the courts and get the financial agreements and access arrangements done in writing. Do not agree it between yourselves, no matter how 'amicable' things might be at the moment (ot not).  Things change - my ex in the UK stopped me from seeing my son whenever the mood took her and also used him as a pawn, through which to vent her anger at me.  She may be OK now but wait until she learns you have a new girlfriend! Do it through the courts.

Edited February 23, 2019 by KhaoYai

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 10:38 PM, BritManToo said:

They'll be back in Issan and living with grandma in a month, while she moves to Pattaya.

Nothing you can do about it. Give her no money at all, walk away.

If people have children they have a responsibility to them ( I wish people had to prove themselves worthy BEFORE being allowed to breed ). By all means don't give HER any money, but work out some way of supporting THEM that she can't get her hands on.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎2‎/‎23‎/‎2019 at 7:16 PM, scorecard said:

How does all of that work (genuine question)?

 

My understanding is that divorce can be very simple, very quick and with very small fees at the local amphur office.

 

So what's the process / who starts an action, on what grounds etc., to get the situation before the Thai family court on the subjects of:

 

- A divorce decree?

 

- A settlement?

 

- Custody?

 

Also, in terms of custody, if the divorce has already happened, at the amphur office and probably with some settlement, then what's the process to get the custody item into the family court?

 

Or can custody be decided, documented and legally binding at the Amphur office?

 

 

I believe that when you get divorced at amphur office one signs to say that everything has been agreed ( it's all in Thai, so I have no actual idea ), so that's the end of it. I doubt the family court would get involved in that situation, but one MIGHT be able to sue through civil court ( good luck with that! ).

[BritManToo]

On 2/20/2019 at 12:50 AM, bermondburi said:

I'm also happy to continue financial support of about 80,000 baht a month for living costs which is what I do now,

Her and her lover will be very happy to spend 80k of your money every month.

Doubt if the kids will ever see any of it.

 

Don't agree to more than 3k/month in writing (that's the legal requirement here).

Edited March 6, 2019 by BritManToo