Thai lady / girlfriend, is she? maybe?

[Jack19290]

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well and are having a lovely weekend.

 

I have read many posts on this forum and decided to make a post myself asking for help.

 

I have been Thailand 3 times however the 3rd time was a weird one.

 

I met this girl who works in a bar, she is a waitress and gets guys to buy her lady drinks. It's a small bar in bangla road, phuket.

 

She has been in phuket for about 23 days, which is true i think, as i have her original Facebook with her real name which was on ber ID and her FB confirms her story as well as her phone messages with people. I went through her phone with her consent ofcourse. Her English is about 2% it's so bad, we had to communicate with Google translate the whole time. I mean 23 days in phuket seemed a little more real now as she came from isaan where there is no english, i mean It could be true. True/Fake or not?

 

She has only been with 2 guys in 23 days before me = 3 in total. She said she needed the money urgently and they paid her 6,000 baht for the night. She didn't want to talk about it, I think it upset her. True/Fake or not?

 

I met her in a club. (Sugar club) we partied all night, I didn't buy her a drink, we then went to patong beach for a few hours and she stayed the night at my hotel but we didn't do anything and she didn't ask for money.

 

I then spent the next 6 days with her, I paid her 5 days bar fine because 1 day she wasn't working so I didn't have to pay. The barfine was 1,000 baht a day. However when I left and came home she still didn't once ask for anything or ask for money or ask to come to my country or anything like that.

 

Well she did say her mums tyre ripped but she didn't ask for money and I didn't send any.

 

I came home and we spoke for a week before I got lucky and had to fly back out to phuket for work for a few days. We also spent these days together without me buying her anything only paying the bar fine.

 

Just for confirmation I did pay for food which was once a day and travel which was mainly walking.

 

I am now at home which is the UK and she still hasn't asked for any money. It's been 5 days now. The only time she asked for money was when I asked her to get a passport to come and visit me, she said she can't afford a passport yet and has to wait a few weeks before she can get one, so I decided to pay for her, she said it was 1,000 baht. The reason she couldn't afford it was because she just moved rooms when i asked her to go get the passport. I knew she moved rooms as we were talking about it, also she didn't ask for help when moving.

 

She will provid me with the proof of the passport which should be newly registered and last 10 years. She did show me that it cost 1,000 baht. I mean she could have said 2/3/5,000 baht right?

 

She tells me if she's going out at night and we FaceTime everyday/night even tho taking is really hard as she has no english.

 

I am now taking thai lessons.

 

So please help me, what do I do with this girl? Is she real or is this another thai lady trick that I haven't read about somewhere? Thanks for the help everyone.

Edited March 1, 2019 by Jack19290

[madmen]

you really want a relationship with a prostitute? lying is there business, its how they juggle 10 boyfriends at once.

 

Your way out of your depth. Find a nice girl that doesn't suck D^^^k for a living is a good start. 

[NCC1701A]

13 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

I met this girl in a bar, she is a waitress and gets guys to buy her lady drinks.

you met a prostitute in a bar...

14 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

She has only been with 2 guys in 24 days before me = 3 in total.

how old is she? how old are you?

 

15 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

She has been in phuket about 23 days which is true i think

that is literally what they all say.

 

16 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

I went through her phone with her consent ofcourse. 

do you do this with other girls or something about this girl makes you feel insecure?

 

18 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

she didn't once ask for a gift or ask for money or ask to come to my country or anything like that.

sounds like she likes you and wants you to think she is a good girl. this is called the long play.

 

19 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

Just for confirmation I did pay for food which was once a day and travel was mainly walking.

don't forget 100 baht is a lot of money to a Thai. Sometimes just covering meals and bar fine plus having fun and drinks in a club is a lot of money. plus staying in air conditioned room. 

 

21 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

She tells me if she's going out at night and we FaceTime everyday.

for what it is worth, just tonight I hooked up again with my friend who has a Farang boyfriend in the UK. She asks me to be quiet while they talk. She says "Thank you for understanding me." The is very common.

 

24 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

I am now at home which is UK and she still hasn't asked for money. It's been 5 days now.

she will. wait about 10 more days.

 

25 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

So please help me, what do I do with this girl? Is she real or is this another thai lady trick that I haven't read about somewhere?

this behavior is very common. it is up to you to see how you feel and don't go over budget. are you going to marry her? or just party when you are in country? just friends? of course she wants to marry you and not work in the bar anymore. then comes buying the house, car...

[Jack19290]

Some harsh replies. I'm new so don't know how to comment like you done but I'll do my best.

 

I met her in a club, not the bar she works at.

 

She is 24 and I am 27, we are similar of age and I am not bad looking might I just say lol

 

I mean it sounds like she was there only 23 days due to the messages and fb and she showed me her flight ticket. 

 

I never look at people's message I just wanted to see her phone and check her messages to see if she really did come 23 days ago to phuket.

 

She hated the air con in my room, we never had it on. Long game? You could be right, most likely are right. When we went clubbing her drinks were free and she use to pay her own motorbike taxi to go home to get changed and stuff.

 

When we face time I can see the whole room, I mean if the guys there he would have to go out of his way to hide like a idiot, would you do that?

 

What happens if she still doesn't ask for money after 10 or 30 days? I mean I won't send her none anyway. Let's give an example she doesn't ask for money and if she does I don't send none but we still chat and have fun.

 

So what is this?

[GinBoy2]

Dude, I hate to have to reiterate what others have said, but.

 

This is the classic bar girl playbook.

 

Sooner or later you will get the email saying mother, father, cousin, sister whatever is sick and can you help, probably as @NCC1701A says in another 10 days or so. 

 

Read this forum and you find it littered with bitter guys after being ripped off by their 'girlfriend' that they met in a bar in Phuket, Pattaya, NEP

[Jack19290]

Okay I understand, I won't send her any more money. I paid for her passport which was my idea that was all, nothing else.

 

If she asks for money I will drop her as quick as I picked her up but do I not carry on talking to her just to see if she asks for money or not, at least till then? I mean I'm curious to see if she asks for money now ???? she most likely will but wouldn't you lot like to know in about 10 days if she asked or not? like I'll update you guys ?????

 

 

Edited March 1, 2019 by Jack19290

[NCC1701A]

27 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

She is 24 and I am 27, we are similar of age and I am not bad looking might I just say lol

well this is good news. sounds like a more natural attraction. most young guys don't get approached as a target for short term money. did you tell her about any plans to return to Thailand?

 

did she ask you these questions? Are you on holiday or do you live here? what is your job? how much money do you make? how long have you been in Thailand? have you ever had a Thai girlfriend?  100% of the time I get asked those questions and this a Thai girl's way of sizing you up. the answer to each question will change her approach to you.

 

27 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

When we face time I can see the whole room, I mean if the guys there he would have to go out of his way to hide like a idiot, would you do that?

yes.     ask yourself this question when you are 63.  I would hang off the fire escape if my 22 year old friend said to do it.    

27 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

I met her in a club, not the bar she works at. 

please remember clubs are FULL of freelancers. Is she super sexy? over the top outfits? did she walk right up to you? For what it is worth, I have seen Thai girls switch from good girl to whore in two seconds flat. Why? Because I told them I was bad.  

Edited March 1, 2019 by NCC1701A

[473geo]

Just don't get too serious, and by the way if you think she was a good host, and you are earning well, what's the problem sending or spending a few spare baht now and then.

 

If you are worried what other people will think of you... forget it .....they don't

[AlexRich]

Do you think your parents would be proud to call a Thai prostitute their daughter-in-law? Forget about whether she asks you for money or not, that's pretty much irrelevant. Step back a bit and use some common sense.

 

 

[Jack19290]

A few answer here, thanks everyone. I'll answer as best as I can.

 

I told her I will return in 2 years time. The apporch thing, how to explain, I'm a good dancer, I danced my way over to her and she is also a good dancer so we bounced off each other. 

 

She didn't ask me any of those questions and still hasn't to be honest. Actually she did ask how long I was on holiday for which was 6 days remaining.

 

At 63 if you can hang from a fire escape you are welcome to the girl lol 

 

She is not sexy, she is average and cute I suppose, there are a whole lot more sexy girls than her.

 

I don't care what people think, I just wanted to make sure I'm not being played. Which I think nobody is to sure yet as this is a weird situation. I do make good money but don't want to send it over there because then it will be like I'm paying for someone's company and I do not do that, don't need to lol

 

Everyone is human, prostitute or not, everyone deserves a good life and yes I would introduce a prostitute to my family as long as she no longer is, everyone's life is hard so reason to belittle anyone.

[luckyluke]

You like her? You want to be with her? 

 

If yes, do it. 

 

She may like you as well, but maybe has financial obligations to a third party but don't want to involve you or not yet.

 

Up to you to eventually help her financially, and up to you to decide what amount you eventually want to spend on her. 

 

Good luck with your decision. 

 

By the way I am married 19 years with a lady who occasionally worked in a bar because of a financial problem I helped her solved. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[brokenbone]

plenty of girls here are loaded with cash,

no reason for anyone below 55 to deal with the lowest class

[473geo]

9 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

I do make good money but don't want to send it over there because then it will be like I'm paying for someone's company and I do not do that, don't need to lol 

If that's how you feel - rather than seeing giving a few baht as helping out a friend that doesn't have much - don't waste her time

[ezzra]

After thousand of stories of foreigners badly done by thai women you'd get the idea why the replies are what they are, i'm sure that you're a guy with his wits about him and can tell when he's being sucked in, so continue with this relationship until you feel that you're being taken for a ride or this is not for you and walk away...

[Jack19290]

473geo I suppose you are right, I didn't see it like that. I could help out abit and maybe will but I won't be made a fall out of...

 

Ezra I think I would understand if I am being sucked or not, well I hope I would lol yes I'd take your advise I'll carry on and see what happens in the coming 10 days.

 

Thanks for the fast replies everyone, I was not expecting it. What a great group.

[luckyluke]

3 minutes ago, ezzra said:

After thousand of stories of foreigners badly done by thai women

And thousand being send to the cleaners by their wife in their home country... 

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, madmen said:

you really want a relationship with a prostitute? lying is there business, its how they juggle 10 boyfriends at once.

 

Your way out of your depth. Find a nice girl that doesn't suck D^^^k for a living is a good start. 

This is way too complicated, the chances of success are very very low, and even lower, if she's still working as a hostess and she has to work, to survive. Communications by gooogle translate will produce many misunderstandings.

 

You will return in 2 years - she's 24, she's going to meet 100+ guys in the next 2 years and become hardened by both the actual working situation and the stories and ideas and tricks she will learn from other bar girls.

 

Out of the 100+ other guys she will meet there will be many who will shower her with money and gifts, even perhaps motorcycles and cars and gold, plus ongoing monthly cash / big cash. Will she remember the guy from 2 years ago as No: 1? No. 

 

Your learning Thai, it will be at least 1 to 2 years before you can even start to have simple communications, but that's actually a minor point compared to the paragraph above. You paid for her passport, Thai people can easily get a passport, nothing really important in that point.

 

Why put yourself through such pain and complication? What for?

 

Move on. 

[Jack19290]

Scorecard, I think your post was the hardest to reply to.

 

Yes we have had many misunderstandings with Google translate already. Not a problem though. 

 

I'm expecting my thai to be better than a small conversation in 1-2 years time since I'm getting 1-1 private lessons 2 times a week.

 

I am young, I won't be in any pain or won't get hurt, I am not in love with her, just yet ????

 

Regarding the passport, i offered to pay to be honest, it's not like she asked for the money, she just said she will get the passport in a few weeks because she just moved rooms and used her money for the move, so I decided to pay. She could have said it cost 2/5/10,000 baht but she didn't, she said is costs 1,000 baht which is the actual price that I found online.

 

Regarding the 100+ guys, money, gold and the thai girl tricks she will learn in the future, well I can't do anything about that.

Edited March 1, 2019 by Jack19290

[scorecard]

10 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

Scorecard, I think your post was hardest to reply to.

 

Yes we have had many misunderstandings with Google translate already. Not a problem though. 

 

I'm expecting my thai to be better than a small conversation in 1-2 years since I'm getting 1-1 private lessons 2 times a week.

 

I am young, I won't be in any pain or won't get hurt, I am not in love with her just yet ????

 

Regarding the passport, i offered to pay to be honest, it's not like she asked for the money, she just said she will get the passport in a few weeks because she just moved rooms and used her money for the move, so I decided to pay. She could have said it cost 2-10,000 baht but she didn't she said 1,000 which is the actual price that I found online.

 

Regarding the 100+ guys, money and gold plus the thai girl tricks she will learn I can't do anything about that.

OK, with all respect:

 

- Whether you paid for her passport or whatever, the cost proved to be correct, is ultimately, longer-term of very little importance.

 

- Your last 2 line paragraph - you seem to be discounting all of the points because you can't do anything about it. With all respect don't discount it. 

 

Move on.

 

 

[Jack19290]

So it's that simple, just move on?

 

Dont give her a chance, automatically she is like the rest? Which could be possible. 

 

It could also be possible she isn't like the rest, I mean nobody knows until we wait a few more days/weeks and see right?

[luckyluke]

58 minutes ago, scorecard said:

Move on.

Indeed; 

Leave or progress. 

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, Jack19290 said:

A few answer here, thanks everyone. I'll answer as best as I can.

 

I told her I will return in 2 years time. The apporch thing, how to explain, I'm a good dancer, I danced my way over to her and she is also a good dancer so we bounced off each other. 

 

She didn't ask me any of those questions and still hasn't to be honest. Actually she did ask how long I was on holiday for which was 6 days remaining.

 

At 63 if you can hang from a fire escape you are welcome to the girl lol 

 

She is not sexy, she is average and cute I suppose, there are a whole lot more sexy girls than her.

 

I don't care what people think, I just wanted to make sure I'm not being played. Which I think nobody is to sure yet as this is a weird situation. I do make good money but don't want to send it over there because then it will be like I'm paying for someone's company and I do not do that, don't need to lol

 

Everyone is human, prostitute or not, everyone deserves a good life and yes I would introduce a prostitute to my family as long as she no longer is, everyone's life is hard so reason to belittle anyone.

 

You'd introduce a prostitute to your family? Oh dear. In which case since you've set the bar so low you might as well get in there!

 

 

[AlexRich]

23 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

So it's that simple, just move on?

 

Dont give her a chance, automatically she is like the rest? Which could be possible. 

 

It could also be possible she isn't like the rest, I mean nobody knows until we wait a few more days/weeks and see right?

 

She's probably been polishing someone's bell-end as you've been typing. Having said that, yours is probably different.

 

 

[RJRS1301]

14 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

 

You'd introduce a prostitute to your family? Oh dear. In which case since you've set the bar so low you might as well get in there!

 

 

I find it amusing that so many here seem to have utilised the services of bar girls, but show so little respect for their professionalism, and decry the person while utilising the services. 

[luckyluke]

18 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

You'd introduce a prostitute to your family? Oh dear. In which case since you've set the bar so low

Some  ladies introduce prostitute visitors to their family. 

Not always sure those visitors were so honest to inform their lady about their behave. 

 

I see now post above. 

Edited March 1, 2019 by luckyluke

[PatOngo]

Advise from Batman.....Again!

[Hummin]

2 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

Okay I understand, I won't send her any more money. I paid for her passport which was my idea that was all, nothing else.

 

If she asks for money I will drop her as quick as I picked her up but do I not carry on talking to her just to see if she asks for money or not, at least till then? I mean I'm curious to see if she asks for money now ???? she most likely will but wouldn't you lot like to know in about 10 days if she asked or not? like I'll update you guys ?????

 

 

You should pay her money, because thats why she is in Phuket in first time. If you not pay, thats means she invest in you, with her time when she could have made money! Deleted sake, get real, wake up!

 

the only way to find out if she is genuin, is to start taking care of her, and see what future brings you. 

 

 

[JimmyJ]

3 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

 When we went clubbing her drinks were free and she use to pay her own motorbike taxi to go home to get changed and stuff.

 

 

 

I consider myself thrifty. I'm sensitive to being taken advantage of.

 

I would have voluntarily given her money for the motorbike taxi.

 

It seems like you're overdoing the "I'm not going to be taken advantage of".

 

[blackcab]

4 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

She will provid me with the proof of the passport which should be newly registered and last 10 years. 

 

5 years.

[Tonyt00]

So, she is a good girl, from Isan, and a good dancer. Did she learn that dancing in a rice paddy? She has no money, but going to the clubs? What do you think she is going there for? She found You, not a big score, but at she got something out of the deal, and who knows, she could have scored big. Will she wait for 2 years? To  her, you are making big money, will she sit and wait for you, if you dont help here sometimes? Wake up. Even if she is a GOOD Girl, she needs to survive, and needs money to survive. Will you call her every day, while she is taking care of her customers?