One for farangs divorced from Thai women

[thaibeachlovers]

Do you have regrets that you got divorced, or was she such an evil woman that you are happy to have got out alive, and would never want to have anything to do with her again?

 

In my case, it's a mixture. I regret that the lovely woman I married changed to someone that I could not live with, and if somehow she changed back, I'd happily marry her again, as long as it was permanent ( and how would I know? ). However, I have no regrets that I left the woman she became. Who could love a shrieking hag from hell?

 

She actually rang me many months after our divorce, and we met up. She seemed a changed woman, so I agreed to see her again. That time the beast beneath the smile re emerged, so I accepted there was no going back.

However, she still managed to get 3,000 baht out of me as a loan to "pay her phone bill" on our first meeting, which needless to say I never got back. Still, it was worth it to be able to reveal the truth.

 

I'd love to know why it all ended from her perspective, but she would never talk about it- always "too tired", or "too busy". The great mystery of my life.

Has anyone else ever tried counselling successfully, or had them say what the problem was?

[ezzra]

One of life's greatest mysteries is why one sunny day and seemingly without a clue or a reason, a loved one get up and decide to throw it all away, whereby a thousand philosophers and wise men will fail to explain why, it happened to me and to countless other people i know...

[Kenny202]

I have a very similar story as do many thousands of others. I assume she was probably from a bar, forgive me if not the case. It's very rare they will settle. We assume we are taking them away from a horrible life but the truth is they like it. They usually come from criminal, abusive back grounds / families and by the time they are past teens any heart or feelings they had have long been burnt out. They grow up being dominated and abused by men and now they have this perceived glamorous independent life, some disposable income. They are happy with the awful food they eat. A farang house to them is just 4 walls (like a prison)...they love to live outside, preferably chattering away with their friends. They will want a big farang house but only purely for bragging rights and the resale value of it. Same as gold. The smaller the house the better, less to clean...if they even make an effort to clean at all. It's like taking a monkey from the forest and putting in a zoo. Yep have nice clean place, 3 meals a day etc but still a prison. Same as taking them back home. Very few seem to settle down and adapt to what we would think was a better lifestyle. To them it is only suffering. Nothing wrong with any of this so far by the way. People want what they want and everyone is entitled to live how they wish. The problem is they are running a scam on you from the outset with only one goal. 

 

I was with mine for 5 years. Absolute heaven and hell. Totally psycho tirades that could go on for days for no reason. In the end the bad far outweighed the good to the point where it was becoming dangerous to live with her ever increasing violence and drama. Mine was diagnosed and being treated for (BPD) Borderline personality disorder. In hindsight she may have had some sort of previous drug problem also which would explain her constant restlessness and need to run all the time. She used to say she would get a "short" in her brain and lose control. Her face and head used to swell badly after a three day bout.

For me the most difficult part was getting shod of her and I think one of the main reason I stuck with her so long. I knew the drama I was going to have to endure. 

She used to pack her bags nearly every week. The last time I helped her put her stuff in the pick up. The relief I felt when we drove through the front gates of the estate. She was outside my gate screaming for the next three months. Hundreds of  nasty and threatening messages each day. After being apart 6 months, and her pleading with me everyday, I too also thought she had changed. We had a son together, left him with me when he was 3 months old. So for that reason I had to give it one more try. I agreed to take her back and after only a day I realised I had made a fatal mistake when she went berserk in the hotel room we were staying in. It then took me another 3 months to get her out of my home again, then another three months of harassing me every day. My son is still with me, been apart now 2 years and she has for the most part faded away, but I still think of her everyday, and I have no idea why. She was the most selfish, nasty, entitled person I have ever met. In her own twisted way I am sure she loved me but once they have sold their bodies they may as well have sold their souls. They just aren't human any more. 

 

She used to talk about black magic a fair bit, not that I believe in it nor did she come from a Khmer region. But it would certainly explain my total loss of reason in putting up with so much that I did. There just never seemed to be any reason for any of it it and it always seemed like we were so close to nirvana. A girl in a bar once told me never let a bar girl cut your nails. Apparently they use them in their spells 5555   

[AlexRRR]

My exTW was pretty good she was calm and pleasent and thoughtful, couldnt cook cleaning was a quick sweep and a mop.

 

We had some good times the only negatives i can say about her is she wouldnt get out of her comfort zone and did not mix with my family she was educated but here in AU she made friends with village girls and soon started thinking like them, that got sorted out quick and lovely, she was a good hard worker and not selfish in the end i asked her to cut back her nights to at most 5 and leave friday and staurday nights free....twice i asked she didnt listen i felt like i was single and that was that...

[baansgr]

Best thing ever, just wish she would curl up and die in a ditch somewhere, rather than affecting the kids lives with promises and lies. And if one day you read about a foreigner killing his wife, its probably me

[Kenny202]

19 minutes ago, AlexRRR said:

My exTW was pretty good she was calm and pleasent and thoughtful, couldnt cook cleaning was a quick sweep and a mop.

 

We had some good times the only negatives i can say about her is she wouldnt get out of her comfort zone and did not mix with my family she was educated but here in AU she made friends with village girls and soon started thinking like them, that got sorted out quick and lovely, she was a good hard worker and not selfish in the end i asked her to cut back her nights to at most 5 and leave friday and staurday nights free....twice i asked she didnt listen i felt like i was single and that was that...

Yes problematic taking girls back home. I know three guys had big dramas with their girls. Most of the other Thai girls living in Australia seem to have come from a bar back ground. Not all but the greater many. I think if you had a more mature, decent girl from here.....teacher, nurse etc you would stand a better chance. You only had to have a look a Songkrahn / Loi Krathong days in the Australian Wats. After a few drinks and a bit of music many of the girls reverted back to type and where dancing like they were on a pole. They miss their own kind and easy to meet up with other Thais on FB etc. Usually ends in trouble. We used to run into a few girls at the markets on Sunday and every one of them were on the scout for a more generous husband. The guy who brought her out probably had woken up and put the brakes on the money. Mate of mines went right off the rails got in with the wrong crowd. Started of a decent sort of a girl too. Got in with a bad crowd. Started playing cards then graduated to the Casino. Be gone for days sometimes. Last straw was when one of his mates told him she was offering a BJ for a ride home after losing all her money.   

[Kwasaki]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Has anyone else ever tried counselling successfully, or had them say what the problem was?

When counselling you wouldn't tell someone what the problem was because you could never be that personally close enough to either person to know them or who they really are, you could only assess what you get from talking to them.

You would just listen and make suggestions only, not tell them what to do.

They would either find some common ground especially where kids were involved but not always, the relationship would set it's course on it's own one way or the other.

Most of my female relationships have had an amicable ending some 

abruptly only my 1st marriage was hard because we met and were married at a young age and as life went on we grew apart but only got to understand that later. 

 

[Pharoticus]

15 hours ago, vinniekintana said:

They all have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.

Glad you bolted.

Fair amount of truth in that.

 

Most of them are vain, selfish, volatile, boring and emotionally immature.

 

These days I literally cringe when I hear westerners talking about their little Thai brides.

 

Living in Thailand now makes me understand how Gulliver must have felt when looking down on the Lilliputians. 

[faraday]

7 hours ago, Pharoticus said:

Fair amount of truth in that.

 

Most of them are vain, selfish, volatile, boring and emotionally immature.

 

These days I literally cringe when I hear westerners talking about their little Thai brides.

 

Living in Thailand now makes me understand how Gulliver must have felt when looking down on the Lilliputians. 

You ever hear about The Law Of Attraction.....?

[arithai12]

On 6/1/2019 at 7:00 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

3,000 baht out of me .... to be able to reveal the truth.

Seems like an excellent investment.

[GalaxyMan]

The only thing I've ever regretted vis-a-vis divorce is having put myself in the position of having to get one. Doesn't matter one little bit about what her nationality was.

[Lacessit]

Can't say I've had that experience with my Thai GF. Certainly had it with a Western wife.

[1FinickyOne]

sometimes there is the ladies side to the story as you alluded. Can you guess what might be her side? 

 

Did you walk around being critical of Thailand and Thai people? Did you ever call her stupid? 

[BritManToo]

On 6/1/2019 at 7:00 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

Do you have regrets that you got divorced, or was she such an evil woman that you are happy to have got out alive, and would never want to have anything to do with her again?

Was entirely happy with my Thai wife, but couldn't deal with the gambling, drugs and prostitution.

She still comes round to visit the kids and bangs me if the gf isn't around.

MiL is staying here for a couple of weeks, so she's around a lot at the moment.

[BritManToo]

On 6/1/2019 at 7:21 AM, ezzra said:

One of life's greatest mysteries is why one sunny day and seemingly without a clue or a reason, a loved one get up and decide to throw it all away, whereby a thousand philosophers and wise men will fail to explain why, it happened to me and to countless other people i know...

Not really a mystery, women are biologically programmed towards breeding with many men and gathering resources for their children. So if they've been banging you a while, had a kid, extorted a house, it'll soon be time to move on.

I believe the scientific terms are genetic diversity and hypergamy.

[Mavideol]

regardless of their age. social status, education, etc., they never reach full maturity thus walking away (and not looking back) it's (was) the best solution, at least for me

[phantomfiddler]

No !

[SteveK]

I married a Thai lady 7 years older than me, and considerably more mature!

[Graviton]

When we divorced my wife took only the tv remote. Every night she would drive past and change the channels.

 

My regret was putting in new batteries a few days before.

[Mavideol]

5 minutes ago, SteveK said:

I married a Thai lady 7 years older than me, and considerably more mature!

that doesn't say much about your maturity

[scorecard]

"Do you have regrets that you got divorced, or was she such an evil woman..."

 

So there's an assumption that the woman is evil. Is that also an assumption of the poster that all Thai women are evil? 

 

And my guess is that you expect all readers to assume the farang man in any divorce is an angel and is a perfect husband?

 

 

[samuttodd]

On 5/31/2019 at 7:49 PM, Kenny202 said:

I have a very similar story as do many thousands of others. I assume she was probably from a bar, forgive me if not the case. It's very rare they will settle. We assume we are taking them away from a horrible life but the truth is they like it. They usually come from criminal, abusive back grounds / families and by the time they are past teens any heart or feelings they had have long been burnt out. They grow up being dominated and abused by men and now they have this perceived glamorous independent life, some disposable income. They are happy with the awful food they eat. A farang house to them is just 4 walls (like a prison)...they love to live outside, preferably chattering away with their friends. They will want a big farang house but only purely for bragging rights and the resale value of it. Same as gold. The smaller the house the better, less to clean...if they even make an effort to clean at all. It's like taking a monkey from the forest and putting in a zoo. Yep have nice clean place, 3 meals a day etc but still a prison. Same as taking them back home. Very few seem to settle down and adapt to what we would think was a better lifestyle. To them it is only suffering. Nothing wrong with any of this so far by the way. People want what they want and everyone is entitled to live how they wish. The problem is they are running a scam on you from the outset with only one goal. 

 

I was with mine for 5 years. Absolute heaven and hell. Totally psycho tirades that could go on for days for no reason. In the end the bad far outweighed the good to the point where it was becoming dangerous to live with her ever increasing violence and drama. Mine was diagnosed and being treated for (BPD) Borderline personality disorder. In hindsight she may have had some sort of previous drug problem also which would explain her constant restlessness and need to run all the time. She used to say she would get a "short" in her brain and lose control. Her face and head used to swell badly after a three day bout.

For me the most difficult part was getting shod of her and I think one of the main reason I stuck with her so long. I knew the drama I was going to have to endure. 

She used to pack her bags nearly every week. The last time I helped her put her stuff in the pick up. The relief I felt when we drove through the front gates of the estate. She was outside my gate screaming for the next three months. Hundreds of  nasty and threatening messages each day. After being apart 6 months, and her pleading with me everyday, I too also thought she had changed. We had a son together, left him with me when he was 3 months old. So for that reason I had to give it one more try. I agreed to take her back and after only a day I realised I had made a fatal mistake when she went berserk in the hotel room we were staying in. It then took me another 3 months to get her out of my home again, then another three months of harassing me every day. My son is still with me, been apart now 2 years and she has for the most part faded away, but I still think of her everyday, and I have no idea why. She was the most selfish, nasty, entitled person I have ever met. In her own twisted way I am sure she loved me but once they have sold their bodies they may as well have sold their souls. They just aren't human any more. 

 

She used to talk about black magic a fair bit, not that I believe in it nor did she come from a Khmer region. But it would certainly explain my total loss of reason in putting up with so much that I did. There just never seemed to be any reason for any of it it and it always seemed like we were so close to nirvana. A girl in a bar once told me never let a bar girl cut your nails. Apparently they use them in their spells 5555   

Those episodes you are describing sound like a textbook psychotic episode.    They make medication for it.   She may have a legit mental illness that is obviously messing up her life and the life of your kid.   If she can get it in check,  youo might have a chance at a family.    Good luck either way.

[richard_smith237]

This is the perfect thread for the bitter misogynistic misogamists to bleat on against women and tar all relationships with the same brush due their own failure.... 

 

I see the usual suspects have already been unable to resist... 

[bkkgriz]

I regret getting into serious relationships with Thai women. FFF is the way to go.

[Graviton]

1 minute ago, bkkgriz said:

I regret getting into serious relationships with Thai women. FFF is the way to go.

I regret sitting next to these men in a bar lol.....

[CharlieH]

Always sad when a relationship breaks down. People invest time, feelings, often years of their life and usually a lot of money into them.

 

There can be many reasons contributing to the break, usually. just as it took two to start, then both contribute to the break.

Sometimes, it was always intended to break as that was the plan from the start in some cases here.

 

Often it can be "straws on the camels back", both sides (or one) battling through cultural differences, poor communication etc which initial attraction and sex with a slice of delusion and romantasizing, helps many become blind.

Then, after a time that heat and physical aspect calms down, life and reality, the norm, begins and the straws begin to amass, until one or the other reaches the limit. Once reached there is rarely any point continuing as the journey to that point for some was just too damn hard and a "reset" seems the best and only way.

 

I truly empathise for any that have to suffer the pains and scars of such a point in their lives, realisation is painfull, the remedy can be scary and uncertain, moreso in a foreign country.

 

Been there, done that, although its never happened here for me (yet). I say "yet' as no one can predict the future, relationships are an ongoing process often requiring hard work.

 

 

 

 

 

[scorecard]

1 minute ago, CharlieH said:

Always sad when a relationship breaks down. People invest time, feelings, often years of their life and usually a lot of money into them.

 

There can be many reasons contributing to the break, usually. just as it took two to start, then both contribute to the break.

Sometimes, it was always intended to break as that was the plan from the start in some cases here.

 

Often it can be "straws on the camels back", both sides (or one) battling through cultural differences, poor communication etc which initial attraction and sex with a slice of delusion and romantasizing, helps many become blind.

Then, after a time that heat and physical aspect calms down, life and reality, the norm, begins and the straws begin to amass, until one or the other reaches the limit. Once reached there is rarely any point continuing as the journey to that point for some was just too damn hard and a "reset" seems the best and only way.

 

I truly empathise for any that have to suffer the pains and scars of such a point in their lives, realisation is painfull, the remedy can be scary and uncertain, moreso in a foreign country.

 

Been there, done that, although its never happened here for me (yet). I say "yet' as no one can predict the future, relationships are an ongoing process often requiring hard work.

 

 

 

 

 

I add, and particularly sad and debilitating for any children involved.

[lanng khao]

25 minutes ago, Graviton said:

When we divorced my wife took only the tv remote. Every night she would drive past and change the channels.

 

My regret was putting in new batteries a few days before.

Mine was similar, only she took all my Bob Marley records and the satellite dish off the roof, thought ahh well, no woman, no sky...

[madmen]

8 minutes ago, bkkgriz said:

I regret getting into serious relationships with Thai women. FFF is the way to go.

Absolutely especially here

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

People invest time, feelings, often years of their life and usually a lot of money into them.

Never met any woman who invested a dime of 'her' money into 'our' relationship.