Please provide guidance as to what I can or should do, if anything.  Thanks

 

My friend, 66, married in the village near Roi Et three years ago.  She is 37 and worked in a beer bar in Pattaya where they met.  Marriage was never recorded with local office so not legal.  My friend is bipolar and is not a very nice person.  Still, I do not think he deserves to be killed.  A little melodrama, maybe not???

 

My friend inherited about 30 million baht and has two condos in Pattaya and two condos in the United States.  One condo in Pattaya is in his name and the other in his wife.  Bank accounts and credit card at Bangkok Bank.  He has access to over 300k USD.

 

My Friend has been in and out of Thailand on tourist visas for the last four years and Immigration has advised him to stay out of the country for a couple of months unless he gets the right visa.  So, they are traveling and the last trip took them to Argentina , Israel, Georgia with next stops being Turkey and Philippines.  

 

In each country, my friend has gone to the U.S. embassies and demanded a visa for her to go to the U.S.  Turned down about six times total in four different countries including Thailand.  Monday’s visit, in Georgia, was different.  This time it was about getting his divorce degree so that they could marry legally in Georgia and record it at the U.S. Embassy.  They were able to get the document and seem to be working on the legalization of their marriage.

 

On the drive to the embassy, my friend was abused with, “You are a failure, you are a failure, your are a failure, you are a failure, you are a failure.  You never get anything done.”  She is pressuring to get her marriage legal.  Then, she hits him multiple times and berates him like a child.  She, then, stated “I want to kill you.”  

 

This is the tip of the iceberg, in my view.  At the embassy, my friend pushed so hard, chanced his arrest and suicide by cop and actually requested that they shoot him because he does not want to live like this.  He has threatened the embassies in each country to get a visa for his wife and has tried to get police in those countiries to shoot him.  If he died in the village of “suicide”, it would never be questioned by his family or friends.

 

My Friend used his phone to stream live to his open Facebook page where anyone with Facebook can watch the entire ride to the embassy and what happened at the embassy.

 

The wife seemed so cold blooded when she said that she wanted to kill him.  Plus, the last words in the embassy video from her was that if he messes up getting what is needed for the legal marriage, she will leave him forever.  

 

This is all on video.  What are my options to help my friend, if any please??

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think it's pretty obvious - don't get married don't take her to the USA - cut his losses and leave her

 

If he can't see all of this himself then I don't see how you can help him

 

 

31 minutes ago, George36 said:

 ... she hits him multiple times and berates him like a child.  She, then, stated “I want to kill you.”  

If he is still with her after that, he is (IMHO) beyond help.

He should get on the next plane home from Georgia and leave her to find her own way back to Thailand - but he won't.

 

Not married? No kids?  Still retains most of his assets?  This one's pretty easy.

53 minutes ago, George36 said:

This is all on video.  What are my options to help my friend, if any please??

Get Netflix on board and make a movie. 

4 hours ago, darrendsd said:

If he can't see all of this himself then I don't see how you can help him

She has control of him. He has told her that, if she leaves him, he would commit suicide. 

 

In the U.S., this would probably be classified as elder abuse and police action would take place.  Does Thailand have such laws?

 

He is mentally ill with bipolar recognized by Social Security.  All four of the condos are languishing with no income and has been that way for two years.  He is paranoid about returning to the U.S. because he would expect to go under conservatorship and committed.

 

Thanks.

Having lived with a seriously bipolar Thai wife, my learned opinion is that they both sound madder than blue moon monkeys.

 

Perhaps they can share their bipolar medication...

 

Seriously, kudos for wanting to help your friend, but without a physical intervention to remove your friend from his partner, nothing positive is going to happen. He'll never get her to the USA.

 

you witnessed the argument did you between your friend and his partner ? If not  based on what you have said you don't actually know what's true or not. Streamed it live ? my my Steven43 is tight that they are madder than Blue Moon Monkeys. 

 

Anyway its a matter between them two, nothing to do with you. Threatening to kill him did she ? well Thais say that all of the time and in a few days time all forgotten.

 

Sounds like they are both total nut cases. If your friend really is bipolar then he should seek medical help, not make a prat of himself at various embassies.

 

Sounds like both of them are drama artists.  Stay out of it.

George36 mind your own business, so she threatened to kill him, so what.

It happens daily here, many wives threaten, some even try.... I have the scar from where my ex stuck me with a knife.

Is this thread really about a friend, and not you?

What does your friend like about her?

Tell him to Bring her back to soi 6 !

Appreciate everyone’s input.  Thanks.

52 minutes ago, Destiny1990 said:

What does your friend like about her?

Tell him to Bring her back to soi 6 !

He has not seen his two kids in 20+ years and is completely estranged from his family.  She and her family in the village treats him very well and he does not want to lose that.  

 

In the video, she also is pressing him for kids.  He say no because of his age and she says yes because her and the family will fully take care of the children.

 

Again, this is on the video that he did from his phone and posted on Facebook.  It can be viewed by anyone that has a Facebook account.  

You cannot take a phone past the security point in a U.S. Embassy/Consulate, so I doubt some of the details of the O.P.  Is this story click-bait?

1 minute ago, NancyL said:

You cannot take a phone past the security point in a U.S. Embassy/Consulate, so I doubt some of the details of the O.P.  Is this story click-bait?

The 26 minute video at the embassy was recorded outside the embassy and ends with the security guard, Brandon, explaining that the phone would not be allowed in the embassy.  He stopped recording at the time and went into the embassy.

 

They accommodated him by preparing a letter saying that he is legally divorced.  They were able to pull it from a previous fiancée visa application that was disapproved a couple of years back.  He needs that to get married in Georgia.

 

Since the videos are on his open Facebook thread, I believe that I could forward a link to the videos.  If you need proof, I would be glad to provide the link and you can decide for yourself whether I am getting unduly involved.

 

Thanks

 

 

 

 

Is he receiving professional assistance with his mental illness?

Your role should be to support him in his decisions, as a friend, give him options for assistance from skilled professionals and assist to protect his assets.

Beyond that I doubt there is anything you could do.

 

 

 

 

 

51 minutes ago, George36 said:

He has not seen his two kids in 20+ years and is completely estranged from his family.  She and her family in the village treats him very well and he does not want to lose that.  

 

In the video, she also is pressing him for kids.  He say no because of his age and she says yes because her and the family will fully take care of the children.

 

Again, this is on the video that he did from his phone and posted on Facebook.  It can be viewed by anyone that has a Facebook account.  

 

It is hard to believe a 66 year old man would post this sort of thing on Facebook. Maybe a 21 year old man.  On the other hand, maybe that's an indication of how truly disabled he is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post the video and we will decide.

4 minutes ago, George36 said:

The 26 minute video at the embassy was recorded outside the embassy and ends with the security guard, Brandon, explaining that the phone would not be allowed in the embassy.  He stopped recording at the time and went into the embassy.

 

They accommodated him by preparing a letter saying that he is legally divorced.  They were able to pull it from a previous fiancée visa application that was disapproved a couple of years back.  He needs that to get married in Georgia.

 

Since the videos are on his open Facebook thread, I believe that I could forward a link to the videos.  If you need proof, I would be glad to provide the link and you can decide for yourself whether I am getting unduly involved.

 

Thanks

 

 

 

 

You would be breaching his right to privacy and confidentiality by forwarding the link

He may have streamed it, but without his informed consent you should not do that. It is his video to distribute.

 

12 minutes ago, RJRS1301 said:

Is he receiving professional assistance with his mental illness?

Your role should be to support him in his decisions, as a friend, give him options for assistance from skilled professionals and assist to protect his assets.

Beyond that I doubt there is anything you could do.

 

 

 

 

 

He has refused to take medicine, refuses any assistance and will not allow himself to be mentally evaluated.  He paid $300 USD for a physical about six months ago in Thailand and he stated, in another video, that was told that he has health problems that need to be addressed.  He has not done so.

 

Are you sure this is not  about you George

I mean being bi polar can confuse some  

 

21 minutes ago, RJRS1301 said:

You would be breaching his right to privacy and confidentiality by forwarding the link

He may have streamed it, but without his informed consent you should not do that. It is his video to distribute.

 

In many videos, he verbally says that he waives privacy issues and request anyone watching the videos to save them and share them with others.  He desires all his videos to be seen by everyone.

 

My question would be whether the rules of this forum would be violated by putting the links on this thread??

 

Or, can I send the links in a PM to board members for their input??

 

Look, I am trying to help.  I ask for your assistance, experience and thoughts.  The videos are available.  If I am to ignore this, I can do that after I at least try to help.  If he dies after making his marriage legal, I can say that I tried my best.  That is all that I can do.

 

Btw, my American wife and I will be in Pattaya next month for a month and would gladly buy some beers for those who would like to give me some insight as to what I should do or how I can let this go.  Thanks.

 

Thanks

Just now, monkeycu said:

Are you sure this is not  about you George

 

I am absolutely sure.  If you read my previous post, you will see that I was interested in moving to Thailand earlier this year and have my wife come later.  I visited in February for a short visit of 23 days.  I believe that, if you go through my previous posts, you will believe that this is not me.

Just another stupid farang involved with a crazy Thai woman.  It's obvious she wants to pressure him into getting a legal marriage so she can get at his wealth. Take her back to Thailand and leave her. She is not worth two cents. Unbelievable someone would be subject to this and still put up with it. Move on while you still can.

36 minutes ago, lannarebirth said:

 

It is hard to believe a 66 year old man would post this sort of thing on Facebook. Maybe a 21 year old man.  On the other hand, maybe that's an indication of how truly disabled he is.

His mental illness makes him a fanatic about videotaping and posting all aspects of his life.  He was kicked out of both the U.S. Embassy and Thailand Embassy in Bangkok for taping.  They told him he was being blacklisted.  

 

He has 110 videos on you-tube ranting and raving against everything and everybody.  It makes no sense but he thinks that, eventually, someone will review all his videos and somehow get justice for him.  

 

Bipolar has not been kind to him.

 

Thanks.

1 minute ago, George36 said:

His mental illness makes him a fanatic about videotaping and posting all aspects of his life.  He was kicked out of both the U.S. Embassy and Thailand Embassy in Bangkok for taping.  They told him he was being blacklisted.  

 

He has 110 videos on you-tube ranting and raving against everything and everybody.  It makes no sense but he thinks that, eventually, someone will review all his videos and somehow get justice for him.  

 

Bipolar has not been kind to him.

 

Thanks.

You should advise him going to an embassy and demanding something is not a good way to start or finish your day

You say he had 30 mil baht, minus 2 condo's here 1 in the states his money is going down quicker than the exchange rate

Best he sell up and wise up

4 minutes ago, monkeycu said:

You should advise him going to an embassy and demanding something is not a good way to start or finish your day

You say he had 30 mil baht, minus 2 condo's here 1 in the states his money is going down quicker than the exchange rate

Best he sell up and wise up

The two condos in California are free and clear and he has tried to sell them but cannot get along with realtors.  He has gone through 50 or so realtors in the past two years, had offers but would not agree to sell.  He is so paranoid, he cannot sign anything. 

 

Thanks.

1 minute ago, George36 said:

The two condos in California are free and clear and he has tried to sell them but cannot get along with realtors.  He has gone through 50 or so realtors in the past two years, had offers but would not agree to sell.  He is so paranoid, he cannot sign anything. 

 

Thanks.

Step away from him, he seems to be on a self destruct mission

Bipolar has not been kind to him.

 

Bipolar is also not kind to those who try to help the bipolar person.  Believe me, I know.

 

I appreciate that you want to help your friend.  You need to make a tough decision whether you should be involved with this man and his 'wife', and likely be drawn into this never-ending Thai melodrama, or whether you walk away and get on with your own life.

 

Having been married to a bipolar person, I speak from bitter experience.  You can't help them unless they want to help themselves.  Even if they say 'yes I want help', they'll change their tune the next day.....

 

Walk away.

He needs professional medial help. It seems he can afford it.

If you want to do something good for him try to convince him to look for help.

If he will accept help or not is obviously another question. But at least you tried to help him. You can't change him. He is the only one who can do that.

He has refused medication, and refused attempts to help him. There is nothing you can do for him without convincing him to seek medical help. Walk away.