Do you still feel lonely and regret not being married or hooked up?

[madmen]

happiness is ….

I miss the old crown lager

[DrPhibes]

5 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

i am very content being by myself. but always have been. i am computer geek and i can spend hours learning some new tech. 

 

 

There are just some people who can do alone with no problems.  I generally like family and friends but also need time for just me, a beach, a good book, a glass of Lagavulin, and temporary evening company with no hassles.  Kinda recharges me.  Wife and I have made a 17yr old, 15 yr old, and (god as my witness) a one time no protection 1.5 yr old (damn our fertile loins!), at 61.  They are awesome kids, would not trade the situation for the world, but there are times... ????

Edited July 12, 2019 by DrPhibes
Content Change

[simon43]

At 60 years old, I've been through 3 marriages (1 in the UK, 2 in Thailand).  Without exception, all 3 were motivated by money (my money!).

 

My first wife in the UK insisted that I got up at 4 am (when our young kids were still deeply asleep so I wouldn't wake them), to travel the 2 hours into London to work, and 2 hours in the evening again.  When my business hit some problems, she wanted out.

 

My second wife (in Thailand) was completely barmy (bipolar) and was hugely successful at destroying my business, my marriage and my family, leaving me homeless and destitute.

 

Her actions caused a paradigm shift in my view on life and partners.

 

My third wife (in Thailand) wasn't barmy, but deceived me nevertheless by using funds set aside for building work on our hotel in Phuket to buy a nice new car. My experiences with my previous wives meant that her one chance to be an honest wife was gone.

 

Greed and selfishness is a human trait across the world.  It takes effort to be a 'good' person, and IMHO most people are too lazy to try.

 

After the bad events with wife #2, I became involved with volunteer work, especially in the very poor communities in Burma, helping with English education, donating text-books etc. I decided that this was a much better use of my spare money, rather than giving it to a greedy, dishonest wife!

 

My loony wife #2 and my experiences in Burma also made me realise that no matter how sorry I felt for myself, there were many people far worse off than me who just got with their lives. So I stopped being sad and started being happy again )

 

Nowadays I couldn't imagine having a partner.  I'm sure that there are many honest and decent women out there who would make great partners.  But the previous events with partners means that I am simply not interested or prepared to spend my time/money with someone who may only be financially-motivated.

 

I'm extremely happy with my own company, and am definitely a very sociable person.  I have many friends.  At night I cuddle up to a big soft toy (true!)

 

I do worry about the future though, because living alone when old does increase the risk of becoming isolated, perhaps having a fall at home and no-one will know.  Not sure what I can do to minimise that risk though.

[BobBKK]

Be happy with and by yourself and as for getting 'hooked up' I do that regularly!  

[marcusarelus]

My only son and the only woman I ever loved are both dead.  So, I came to Thailand.  Just doing life a day at a time.  Enjoy what you have.  

Edited July 12, 2019 by marcusarelus

[BobBKK]

Just now, simon43 said:

At 60 years old, I've been through 3 marriages (1 in the UK, 2 in Thailand).  Without exception, all 3 were motivated by money (my money!).

 

My first wife in the UK insisted that I got up at 4 am (when our young kids were still deeply asleep so I wouldn't wake them), to travel the 2 hours into London to work, and 2 hours in the evening again.  When my business hit some problems, she wanted out.

 

My second wife (in Thailand) was completely barmy (bipolar) and was hugely successful at destroying my business, my marriage and my family, leaving me homeless and destitute.

 

Her actions caused a paradigm shift in my view on life and partners.

 

My third wife (in Thailand) wasn't barmy, but deceived me nevertheless by using funds set aside for building work on our hotel in Phuket to buy a nice new car. My experiences with my previous wives meant that her one chance to be an honest wife was gone.

 

Greed and selfishness is a human trait across the world.  It takes effort to be a 'good' person, and IMHO most people are too lazy to try.

 

After the bad events with wife #2, I became involved with volunteer work, especially in the very poor communities in Burma, helping with English education, donating text-books etc. I decided that this was a much better use of my spare money, rather than giving it to a greedy, dishonest wife!

 

My loony wife #2 and my experiences in Burma also made me realise that no matter how sorry I felt for myself, there were many people far worse off than me who just got with their lives. So I stopped being sad and started being happy again )

 

Nowadays I couldn't imagine having a partner.  I'm sure that there are many honest and decent women out there who would make great partners.  But the previous events with partners means that I am simply not interested or prepared to spend my time/money with someone who may only be financially-motivated.

 

I'm extremely happy with my own company, and am definitely a very sociable person.  I have many friends.  At night I cuddle up to a big soft toy (true!)

 

I do worry about the future though, because living alone when old does increase the risk of becoming isolated, perhaps having a fall at home and no-one will know.  Not sure what I can do to minimise that risk though.

Employ a 'Thai sister'. That's what I do, 10,000 a month, runs errands, pays bills and manages maintenance. Lives very close by and a good friend no 'emotional/romantic' complications.

[nickmondo]

6 hours ago, BestB said:

As opposed to broke living off a pension ?

 

hard choice to make ????

i totally agree with BestB.

1,000 baht, a bargain, cures loneliness, and the menu of choice is constantly changing.

singe life for me all day long.

if i need a carer when i am older, i will just give a thai woman a salary.

that is pretty much what the married men are doing now in my opinion, and stuck with the same woman.

not for me thanks

[nickmondo]

6 hours ago, Lacessit said:

You must get some really good-looking ones at that price.

you make fun of this Lacessit?

if you think you cannot get absolutely gorgeous girls, who stay with you the whole day and night for 1,000 baht, or less, then clearly you are going to the wrong places.

I have a few like this, and are absolutely amazing company, all of them.

and no, we dont just sit and chat about the weather all day..........

[nickmondo]

2 hours ago, possum1931 said:

That's why he racked up a "25k girlie tab" in the first place.

ugly men tend to rack up big bills because the girls charge more to service ugly blokes.

if you hansum like me, its never a problem.  ha ha

[nickmondo]

8 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

Employ a 'Thai sister'. That's what I do, 10,000 a month, runs errands, pays bills and manages maintenance. Lives very close by and a good friend no 'emotional/romantic' complications.

i assume you are indulging in incest with your sister?

for that price, i hope so.

[Thingamabob]

6 hours ago, BestB said:

I am little younger but very much like you in all aspects . Only difference I have 9 dogs so do not need to invite friends as they would say no anyway ????????

I've been married to a Thai for 30 years. We have 10 dogs and 5 cats in Rayong, and 12 cats in Bangkok. No time to be lonely.

[1FinickyOne]

There are some fine lines there... if looking for companionship and elderly help, you can get a maid/assistant/nurse... usually the people who have remained single made that choice early on and the few I know, if anything, feel more strongly about it now.. they get set in their ways and don't want the intrusion of someone else, especially in the wife role having wants, needs, expectations. 

[Lacessit]

11 minutes ago, nickmondo said:

you make fun of this Lacessit?

if you think you cannot get absolutely gorgeous girls, who stay with you the whole day and night for 1,000 baht, or less, then clearly you are going to the wrong places.

I have a few like this, and are absolutely amazing company, all of them.

and no, we dont just sit and chat about the weather all day..........

I do find it amusing, yes.

As far as looks go, I've found the really beautiful ones are so self-absorbed they are lousy in bed. The plainer ones quite frequently turn out to be sensational, because they are more focused on my enjoyment and theirs.

My Thai GF would never win a beauty contest, but.......

[marcusarelus]

10 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I do find it amusing, yes.

As far as looks go, I've found the really beautiful ones are so self-absorbed they are lousy in bed. The plainer ones quite frequently turn out to be sensational, because they are more focused on my enjoyment and theirs.

My Thai GF would never win a beauty contest, but.......

 

[VBF]

2 hours ago, elgenon said:

Sometimes I miss not having a wonderful woman, sometimes I feel fortunate to not have the headaches some men are connected with.

When I was a mere youth of 17 and had fallen for the wrong girl and was moping about over it, my now late father offered me the following words of wisdom:

"Better an empty house than a bad tenant Son"

I've followed his advice most (!!) of my life - I only wish he was still alive so i could thank him.  

 

And, slightly  but another tenet I like comes from one of my favourite Singer/Songwriters Al Stewart: "If it doesn't come naturally leave it"

Listen to the lyrics.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUlOLETWA6U

Edited July 12, 2019 by VBF

[BobBKK]

22 minutes ago, nickmondo said:

i assume you are indulging in incest with your sister?

for that price, i hope so.

You think $300 for helping and looking after me is expensive?  wow! I already made it clear it's platonic and worth every satang.

[myjawe]

Go to any market or thai food restaurant, talk with someone and you will already have a girlfriend, not lonely anymore !

Why even thinking about it when it is so easy ?

I will get a nurse to stay with me when I will be old enough, but now I just need short time nurses sometimes...

 

 

[natway09]

We have discussed this very large topic over a beer many times with representation

from both.

Suggest you make the asking age age as 65 +. The responses may surprise you  once

they put their ego down with their other bit that does not always rise on command anymore

[brewsterbudgen]

Had my son when I was 55, no screaming at midnight, maybe 5 or 6 'screamings' in his life.
He's 8 now, overuses the word 'dad' a bit when he's home from school (dad I'm hungry, dad I want Papsi, dad look at this, etc.), but apart from that no complaints so far.

Sounds like me! I had my when I was 55 too, but mine is still only 4. Older dads make the best dads...[emoji849]

Sent from my SM-A500F using Tapatalk

[sunnyboy2018]

No not lonely no regrets. I feel sorry for men married to Thais as they spend too much money, get dragged into claustrophobic families and become like dependant children.

[sunnyboy2018]

7 hours ago, BritManToo said:

1) It depends, If I were 70. I'd rather be alone than stuck with a 70 year old woman, but 70 and living with a 20-30 year old woman would be nice. In the west the majority of people aged 70+ are entirely alone, partner dead or gone, deserted by their children, stuck in a care home. Lonely is a feature of getting old.

 

2) I'm hoping my Thai kids will be there for the looking after and hugging bit, if I reach 70 my son will be 15, so I expect he'll still be around.

 

some of us have friends

[OzMan]

7 hours ago, Sujo said:

But I do have a dog.

I have a dog too. We will be divorced soon and I will then live with my Thai GF.

[GarryP]

1 minute ago, OzMan said:

I have a dog too. We will be divorced soon and I will then live with my Thai GF.

Divorce the dog? Is the Thai GF okay with that? I'll get my coat.

[BestB]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Of course, I should have known. They are all second or third runners up in the annual Miss Bangkok beauty contest, and they give you a  discount because you are hansum man with a big todger.

Yes and ? 

[CNX GUY]

8 hours ago, Sujo said:

I am 56, never married, no kids.

 

when younger I saw friends get married and divorced and the men financially destroyed, it turned me off the notion.

 

I have never felt lonely but do like being alone. If I want company I just go out. But my home is for me, I never invite friends to my home as I prefer it alone to just have my down time.

 

I am free to go do what I want when I want to, but my married friends cannot.

 

But I do have a dog.

dogs baby!!!

[jvs]

3 hours ago, Berkshire said:

I wonder sometimes if I can ever be happy, either alone or with someone.  What I mean is when I was a single dude wolfing it around in Thailand with hundreds of different girls, I was fairly content.  But after a time, it did become rather routine and predictable....something was missing.  I figured maybe this "something" was having that one person that I could count on to accompany me for the remainder of my days.  Well now that I have that one person, I'm sort of missing my previous life.  The thirst for freedom is only present when you don't have it.  Or maybe it's just a phase.  Finding true happiness can be elusive.

It is like you say,boredom sets in and your mind starts wandering.

It is like i say,yes you can have everything but not at the same time.

One of my brothers told me once he was very impressed with me having different women

all the time.I told him i was impressed he had had the same one for all that time.

It is what it is.

 

[NanLaew]

3 hours ago, Berkshire said:

I wonder sometimes if I can ever be happy, either alone or with someone.  What I mean is when I was a single dude wolfing it around in Thailand with hundreds of different girls, I was fairly content.  But after a time, it did become rather routine and predictable....something was missing.  I figured maybe this "something" was having that one person that I could count on to accompany me for the remainder of my days.  Well now that I have that one person, I'm sort of missing my previous life.  The thirst for freedom is only present when you don't have it.  Or maybe it's just a phase.  Finding true happiness can be elusive.

The 7 year itch. Same same 3 year itch.

 

...or 5 year itch, etc., etc..

 

3 hours ago, madmen said:

We are all different but the thought of pushing a pram and a screaming kid at midnight in my 50's sends cold chills down my spine 

Me too. That's where having nieces, nephews and cousins comes in handy.

 

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Of course, I should have known. They are all second or third runners up in the annual Miss Bangkok beauty contest, and they give you a  discount because you are hansum man with a big todger.

No, no. He's just hansum.

[NanLaew]

39 minutes ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

some of us have friends

as long as you have money, yes

[AgMech Cowboy]

I'm alone because I did get married.

[CNX GUY]

7 hours ago, pgrahmm said:

I can't stand living in a condo/flat/apartment.....

Married now, but when single had a house with a MaeBaan that came in 2-3 times a week to & take care of the household chores.....Played in sports leagues + had masseuses a couple of times a week - sometimes more.....I cooked limitedly so was out daily getting meals......I stayed busy & enjoyed the quiet time....I don't remember feeling lonely very often but it did happen.....Never was a bar crawler and very seldom found myself in that environment - Never found myself missing them..... 

 

Ladies have always made themselves available.....

 

Now, all these years later - settled down with one daughter in a university & our second right behind her & having a loving, caring wife that's never caused a troubled moment.....I find life more complete & enjoyable.....

 

We're now planning for longer - 6 month - RV times back in the states during the upcoming years & I'm finding myself restless in anticipation ....Complete freedom of a different type.....Each time is like a free style honeymoon.....

 

Both sides of the coin - draw your own conclusions, as you may.....

good for you; happy it worked out.