Why it’s time to step away from Thailand

[connda]

Actually it’s time to step back from this forum as well.  It’s become an echo chamber.  We hear the same things from the same people over and over.  But that’s not the reason for me to step back.  I’m stepping back because I’m just hearing my own echos.  And reflecting on it, the repetitiveness is a waste of time.  I’ve better things to do with the rest of my life then dwell on the peaks and valleys of living in Thailand.  

 

Thailand has it’s problems, and the problems that affect me and other foreigners directly have been my main concerns and a constant source of frustration and disenchantment.
The top of the list includes: Institutionalized nationalism that manifests as explicit and implicit racism and as such affects social and bureaucratic policies directly affecting foreigners; explicit dangers that includes the insanity of Thai roads, violence against foreigners regardless of the published reasons, and the incredibly unhealthy environment which this year manifested as four months of smoke, choking air, and the worst AQI in the world here in the North; and the most irksome in my opinion are the policies that view foreign men who are married to Thai women as essentially a danger to Thailand – the fact that foreign women married to Thai men and foreign men married to Thai women are treated in completely different manners by Thai authorities: the former seemingly being perceived as forming a "real" Thai family around their Thai husbands and Thai children, whereas the latter are perceived as perpetual outsiders who can not be trusted.  The fact that we foreign men care for our Thai National wives, children, and extended family as well as injecting substantial amounts foreign capital directly into the Thai economy and paying taxes isn’t even considered – the family with a foreign head of household means nothing in this county. It's not seen as a "real" Thai family in my opinion.  It's a temporary construct and the foreign husband is expendable - jetsam that can be ejected from the country at any time.  Families headed by foreign males will never be allowed to take root and flourish in Thailand - family legacies built around a foreign head of house-hold will never be condoned.  Given time, eventually many, if not most, family units with a foreign male head of house-hold will be administratively dissolved.

I find it beyond disturbing. It’s not moral; it’s not ethical; It's a rejection of basic human rights, human dignity, and the sanctity of the family.  But there it is.
 

Understanding life is understanding that each of us has a circle of concern and a circle of control.  
I understand the difference.  So I’m taking what I can control and moving along. I’ve said that foreigners living here should have alternate game plans for their lives.  I’m executing one of those plans.  I’ll remain in the periphery, but it’s past time to back away and get on with life outside of the confines of all things Thai.

To all my fellow farangs – best of luck!  What’s that old saying?  If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything? 

 

I’m out of here.

[Boy Wonder]

I'm happy for you. I hope you find solace wherever you go next. Don't let this situation turn you into a jaded old man, there is a lot to look forward to in life, inside or outside of Thailand.

 

Just to give you another perspective: I don't have any of the problems you discussed. I am not married, I have not received any violence towards me and I don't live in Chiang Mai. So it seems to me that your problems are just that -- yours. It doesn't really reflect the country as a whole, in my opinion.

 

But then again what do I know, I've only been in Thailand for a year.

[Gumballl]

@ the OP - And what does your wife have to say?

Edited July 30, 2019 by Gumballl

[ChipButty]

16 minutes ago, Gumballl said:

@ the OP - And what does your wife have to say?

Good bye

[villagefarang]

I don't care what you say, I have a great life here and I am staying.????

[sammieuk1]

The OP nailed it I must be looking in his mirror but the UK has cut off my escape route to be a family unit so now its limbo time and how low one can go without snapping????

[Joe Mcseismic]

Why the announcement?

Just go.......

[worgeordie]

There goes another long time poster.

regards worgeordie

[BuddyPish]

Whinge, whinge, whinge

Just leave instead of adding to the echo.

 

4 minutes ago, sammieuk1 said:

The OP nailed it I must be looking in his mirror but the UK has cut off my escape route to be a family unit so now its limbo time and how low one can go without snapping????

How has "the UK cut off your escape route"?

[JingerBen]

21 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I don't care what you say, I have a great life here and I am staying.????

I feel the same way.

Whenever I'm tempted to complain about Thailand I think of the possible alternatives, such as a return to the USA.

For me, that would be a fate worse than death - although nowadays death might be part of the package.

[HeijoshinCool]

Was where you are today, four years ago. Moved with my Thai wife back to the States. Still visit LOS, but the charm wore off and a few weeks at a time is perfect. Rarely visit TV anymore, for the same reasons as you. 

 

When it's time to move on, those with the smarts to realize it, and the resources, do so. 

 

Best of luck, Connda. Enjoy your future.

[mania]

1 hour ago, connda said:

Understanding life is understanding that each of us has a circle of concern and a circle of control.

 

Good luck to you & of course each person has their own circle of concerns

 

If you see more negative than positive to living in a certain place/country then of course the smart thing to do is move on.

 

The world is a big beautiful place with so many choices & so many flavors.

It would be silly to tolerate something you no longer enjoy as your main spot to exist.

 

Your being smart IMHO. Rather than sit & complain your getting up & doing something about changing that which

no longer agrees with you.

 

Chok Dee/Good Luck

[mania]

26 minutes ago, Joe Mcseismic said:

Why the announcement?

Just go.......

Perhaps because he has been on this forum 10 years & contributed a lot?

 

Perhaps because if he just left many would wonder what happened to connda.

[mania]

43 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I don't care what you say, I have a great life here and I am staying.????

For sure there will be both types ????

Some stay & some move on

Such is life & I'm sure in the decades you have been in Thailand you have seen many of both types ????

[NanLaew]

And the Hotel California post of the day award goes to...

[holy cow cm]

37 minutes ago, Joe Mcseismic said:

Why the announcement?

Just go.......

Really? It shows more and more where a lot of foreigners (long time) heads and feelings are at. It is really the insensitive ones like you who seem to know squat should refrain from posting. He touched on a very hypocritical and real point for foreign men married here to the visa versa of foreign women married here. I like the fact he publicized it and the fact he is leaving so hopefully Thailand officials will start see the loss as it seems to be almost a mini exodus now.

 

Good luck to the OP connda

[NanLaew]

17 minutes ago, mania said:

Perhaps because he has been on this forum 10 years & contributed a lot?

 

Perhaps because if he just left many would wonder what happened to connda.

Who?

[NanLaew]

1 minute ago, holy cow cm said:

it seems to be almost

Now just how indecisive and inconclusive is that?!

[fhickson]

Funny thing is when you have a room full of people saying the same thing, that thing becomes reality. One of the reasons I stepped away from this board for a year  and just returned to get some visa info. Ended up complaining again which I never did while away.

 

Look inside yourself and ask why your here and/or why you keep returning to read negativity.

[holy cow cm]

3 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

Now just how indecisive and inconclusive is that?!

neither here nor there, but almost

[Joe Mcseismic]

2 minutes ago, holy cow cm said:

Really? It shows more and more where a lot of foreigners (long time) heads and feelings are at. It is really the insensitive ones like you who seem to know squat should refrain from posting. He touched on a very hypocritical and real point for foreign men married here to the visa versa of foreign women married here. I like the fact he publicized it and the fact he is leaving so hopefully Thailand officials will start see the loss as it seems to be almost a mini exodus now.

 

Good luck to the OP connda

So.....anyone that decides to leave first has to give an explanation why?

I think most other forum members couldn't give a toss why someone decides to leave. Leave they can, but spare us the long-winded explanations.

Don't worry, he'll be back. 95% of all flouncers just can't resist.

[Gecko123]

 

Just kidding. Good luck to you Connda.

Edited July 30, 2019 by Gecko123

[pookondee]

Understandably, many of the posters from the previous era are getting on in years, so its actually the responsible thing to do, to go home before the inevidable happens.

 

The thing is, why whine about all the bad stuff happening now? 

These guys had 20 years of the best of Thailand when things were much more easy going.

 

You hardly ever hear any positive posters thanking Thailand for the 20 years of easy going sanook they had since the 70s..80s..90s

typical i guess

 

 

[Puchaiyank]

Don't step back from the forum...the forum needs people who can organize and articulate a coherent complete sentence...which you do beautifully.

 

Sorry that you feel compelled to move elsewhere to enjoy your family life and the esteem and respect that should be afforded all humans in a civil society.

 

Good luck...and please do keep us informed...????

 

 

[somtumwrong]

Well think about thousands of Thai men coming to your country and charming all the local ladies, even the prostitutes ehh.. And imagine how the Thai men boast around how the women in your country are praising these Thai men for being good lovers, so big, charming and handsome (no, I'm not talking about sex blah blah.) Your country has been harvested of women, with a huge excess of irresponsible and lazy or alcoholic low class country men of yours. So how would your fellow countrymen act in a country effectively ran by old men and stuck in an old broken culture that does not work anymore because of the good, rich Thai men?

 

That's what they are stuck in. No wonder there are so many ladyboys and gays here, there are just not enough women. I'm not trying to be funny. Any country you go to, you can see thousands of Thai and FIlipino women. For every one of them, there is a guy without family because Thai men are incapable of 'conquering' women in countries other than their neighboring countries.

 

For any knee jerk racism accusations, this is what Thai women tell me. Except the ladyboy count is just a number game I came up with.

[Somtamnication]

The OP is correct; they are making it harder and harder for long time expats. Anyone who has been here for more than 10 years knows and understands (I hope) the changes are not positive.

 

For me, there is the choice of looking at my Thai mother-in-law every <deleted> day or a lonely room on some share-a-house scheme back home. I prefer to stare at that old hag any day!

[sammieuk1]

1 hour ago, Buddha Pist said:

Whinge, whinge, whinge

Just leave instead of adding to the echo.

 

How has "the UK cut off your escape route"?

Umm the 70k+ needed to stay in the bank or the 18.k earnings may give you a clue or just read the tory manifesto ???? 

[sammieuk1]

57 minutes ago, Joe Mcseismic said:

So.....anyone that decides to leave first has to give an explanation why?

I think most other forum members couldn't give a toss why someone decides to leave. Leave they can, but spare us the long-winded explanations.

Don't worry, he'll be back. 95% of all flouncers just can't resist.

You must think to much just because you have a different view  ????

[NCC1701A]

2 hours ago, connda said:

Actually it’s time to step back from this forum as well.   

I think that everyday. I spend way too much time here. I was thinking of hiring someone to help me write comments. 

 

The problem with this forum is it amplifies problems. Sometimes after visiting the forum I am filled with fear and paranoid. 

The same fear and paranoid you get from watching media in the USA. All negative.

For six months all I read here was about the horrible new changes and I was thinking I am going to be arrested when I go for my extension this year. THE REALITY is nothing has changed FOR ME and the process was extremely simple.  

 

2 hours ago, connda said:

So I’m taking what I can control and moving along.

I think you articulated your point of view perfectly and I am sure it applies to many members here.

 

2 hours ago, connda said:

Understanding life is understanding that each of us has a circle of concern and a circle of control.  

  When I came to Thailand my stated goal was to, well anybody who reads my comments knows what my stated goal is, and that is what I do. 

I read everything I could about Thailand for two years before my first vacation/recon trip here. In other words I did my homework.

 

I have 800,000 in a Thai bank and health insurance. Having that 800k make a huge difference and I suggest to anyone thinking of retiring here to do the same.

 

For me Thailand is still great. But I am only 63 and in very good health. I don't have any real responsibilities and I am free.

Every other month I go on a adventure. This month is resting. August is Bangkok and Pattaya. November is month long motorcycle trip.

 

Also, FOR ME. it is still very inexpensive to live in Thailand. But I don't drink or smoke. 

 

A recent trip back to the USA reminded me why I left in the first place, only multiplied by 10.  

 

Good luck.  

Edited July 30, 2019 by NCC1701A

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

1 hour ago, Joe Mcseismic said:

So.....anyone that decides to leave first has to give an explanation why?

I think most other forum members couldn't give a toss why someone decides to leave. Leave they can, but spare us the long-winded explanations.

Don't worry, he'll be back. 95% of all flouncers just can't resist.

 

Speak for yourself.... Obviously, others of us here appreciate @connda explanation and knowing what he's decided to do and why, after many years as a contributor here.

 

Not surprisingly, quite a few of those with the snarky-est comments here are those with relatively few posts under their belts.

 

Edited July 30, 2019 by TallGuyJohninBKK