Sin Sod - who here got married without paying and what makes it not apply?

[sandyf]

14 hours ago, The Fat Controller said:

You can gain a lot of "face" if you show a decent pile of cash and/or gold at a traditional Thai wedding, even if it's not the first marriage for the lady.

 

My wife wanted to do it to make her mum happy.

 

Worked very well, my wife's family and friends are still very welcoming five years down the line.

 

As previously said, it's all for show with a decent Thai family, every Baht was back in our bank account the evening of the wedding.

 

The traditional Thai ceremony was 9 months after the amphur paperwork.

 

I was a bit the same, married at the amphur in July and had the Thai wedding following January when some friends were over from the UK. During that period if I stayed at the family home i couldn't be in the same room as my wife.

Following the Thai wedding i lived with my wife and her father until our house was completed about a year later. That was built just a few yards from her father on the same land, now over 10 years without a problem.

Certainly in this area it is all about show, my wife suggested we put GBP on the table to impress the neighbours and got it all back from her father at the end of the day.

 

Over the years I have been to more weddings than I care to remember ranging from over 1000 guests to as few as 20 and without monks, the one thing I have learned is that there very little in the way of commonality.

[Just Weird]

18 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

My wife is a school teacher by trade - excellent education, owns far more land than I do, etc -

There's another one, well done you!  Amazing how many Thaivisa members always make the perfect choices, when all the others get it so wrong, isn't it?

 

How much more land in Thailand does she own than you do in Thailand?

[emptypockets]

2 hours ago, Matzzon said:

Maybe in your real tradition. That has totally to do with what kind of girl you marry. The only time it´s tradition that the dowry are not given back to the couple is following:

* When you marry a bar girl (Or someone that fallen from grace in similar ways. That due to the dowry is seen as restoring face and the family name.

* When marry a poor family out in the farm lands or similar. That due to the family takes the money and you do not see any of it no more.

 

Probably that´s tradition for you and likewise your fishing holes for a future wife. I was giving the rules from the middle class with a fairly good education and up.

Mate, you have some serious mental problems.

You weren't giving the rules, you were and still are talking out of your <deleted>.

In true pure Thai tradition the sinsot was NOT returned. Maybe it is now, when foreigners are concerned or as I said  contemporary Thai (that's a big word for modern....you may have to goggle it.)

Fishing holes for a future wife? What are you banging on about. Me and the wife are quite happily married, and I dare say, a class above you and clearly better educated.

[emptypockets]

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Are you for real??? or perhaps being deliberately obtuse????

 

It's pretty obvious that Richard Coleman was referring to 'bars' with 'bar girls' and not the usual Pub / Club / Bar we get in the eWst. 

In fact, many relationships in Thailand originate from meeting in a 'Normal Pub / Club / Bar' but there are plenty of couples who've met in a 'girl bar'... anyone knows the difference, those married to girls who have been working in these bars are married to ex-hookers regardless of how much they try to pull the wool over their eyes - they know the difference and I imagine, so do you. 

When you make broadbrush statements expect replies accordingly. It was not clear at all, there was no mention of bar girls. Simply girls in bars. I certainly know the difference - just pointing out the fact that what he clearly stated was wrong.

Besides I'm sure the poster is capable of clarifying what he said without your assistance.

[Matzzon]

3 minutes ago, emptypockets said:

a class above you and clearly better educated

That just shows how much you know in reality. Zip Zero, as you do not have a clue about my social class or education.

So, now we clearly know who is talking out of their (yeah, you know the one that got deleted in your post.)

[Matzzon]

Just now, emptypockets said:

When you make broadbrush statements expect replies accordingly. It was not clear at all, there was no mention of bar girls. Simply girls in bars. I certainly know the difference - just pointing out the fact that what he clearly stated was wrong.

Besides I'm sure the poster is capable of clarifying what he said without your assistance.

To me it seems like this is a case of knowing nothing even if it bites you in the (yeah, the deleted again) ????

[emptypockets]

Just now, Matzzon said:

That just shows how much you know in reality. Zip Zero, as you do not have a clue about my social class or education.

So, now we clearly know who is talking out of their (yeah, you know the one that got deleted in your post.)

I'm a fairly good judge of character be it face to face or through the spoken or written word. I think I have you down pat.

I've never used the ignore function on this forum to date. You may have the honour of being first.

[Nyezhov]

2 minutes ago, Matzzon said:

That just shows how much you know in reality. Zip Zero, as you do not have a clue about my social class or education.

 

Social class? You must be a Euro.

[merlen10002]

Married twice to Thai ladies , first marriage nothing said about Sin Sot I knew nothing about it ,  second marriage asked for Sin Sot agreed to pay forty thousand baht 40,000 B , for the cost of the wedding , I was not interested in Paying Sin Sot, sometimes it takes Thai ladies years to find a good Farang to marry most will marry with out Sin Sot because they do not want to lose  good catch, paying Sin Sot is stupid . hear of Farangs getting the Sin Sot back after the wedding I been in Thailand over 12 years now been to many wedding and seen the Sin Sot spent on a big party and many free loaders many times . Most good Farangs do not know how valuable they are. 

[emptypockets]

1 minute ago, Nyezhov said:

Social class? You must be a Euro.

Doff your cap when you say that.

[Matzzon]

3 minutes ago, emptypockets said:

I've never used the ignore function on this forum to date.

What? function on this forum? 

[Matzzon]

8 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

Social class? You must be a Euro.

What is a Euro? More than a currency? That I am quite sure I am not.

And, of course you didn´t undertand what I mean. Can that have something to do with somthing inbetween Millwall and Brexit?

[Nyezhov]

1 minute ago, Matzzon said:

What is a Euro? More than a currency? That I am quite sure I am not.

Euro? Thats A dude from over there in Europe. They have things like social classes, and royalty and subjects and socialism and such like

[leither69]

18 hours ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

A dowry system, right or wrong has NOTHING to do with cattle or buying people. Traditionally its viewed as security for the wife against death or seperation of the husband. 

So!! A house and all the trappings isn't enough? I suppose she could stay with her ex and the Mia noi if that wasn't enough!!

[Matzzon]

6 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

Euro? Thats A dude from over there in Europe. They have things like social classes, and royalty and subjects and socialism and such like

And other countries do not?

What about The Kingdom of Thailand? They have royalty, right?

Goodwill Zwelithini kaBhekuzulu - As far as I know he is the king of Zulu, right?

Canada have Elizabeth II as queen. Her crown is powerful enough to be able to rule the country, but in demcratic order that power is given to the people and the government.

When we are talking socialism, communism and all other flavours of the political spectrum, I take a wild guess and say all countries in the world have this. Unfortunately there is some where the people live under dictatorship where it ain´t same visible but it exists.

Also all countries have different classes and groups in society.

Tell me more now, oh wise one. What is the differens between all thoose Euros compared to Asians, Africans and Americans?
 

[dotpoom]

19 hours ago, Moonlover said:

Wife was a divorcee, both parents demised, sin sod not applicable.

 

I would never 'buy' a wife anyway. They're humans, not cattle!

Tell that to the many Moters and Fathers who paid it to the man's family when their daughter got married in "Farang" land..It was called a "Dowry" ?

PS...In Thailand it has nothing to do with "buying" a person...it is probably as compensation to the family for the financial loss that would be incurred by that member no longer being an "earner" in her own family.

[MekkOne]

probably the OP should invest the money in a penis enlargement surgery...

[Nyezhov]

33 minutes ago, Matzzon said:

And other countries do not?

The USA aint got royalty unless you consider Kim Kardashian.

 

And dont get your panties in a wad buckaroo, you were the one who brought up social class. Me, in Socialist-Marxist terms (if you beleive in that murderous ideology) Im a Lumpen. Is your name Lawrence? What are you? Royalty?

[Mbaki]

19 hours ago, Pravda said:

 

Personally I have nothing against this tradition. I know for a fact that a lot of Thai men pay way more than farang, but they also marry better quality women. 

Rubbish

[DUNROAMIN]

been with my lady now 4 years, married legally this year, doesn't talk about marriage with sin sod, she is happy with good lifestyle, house, cars and spending money, help her family from time to time with small amounts of money or gifts. In many cases sin sod is when a older Thai man wants a young Thai stunner. If your lady is pushing for sin sod marriage, maybe take a long hard look at your relationship, does she really want to be with you or your money.

[Reigntax]

19 hours ago, Denim said:

 

Except in India where the boot is on the other foot.

Yes. But what would you do with 3 goats?

[4675636b596f75]

19 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

If your woman is from a bar, divorced with kids AND wants a sinsod, then you are just a cash cow. Walk away

Not so fast Judge Roy Beane ... one of the finest women I had the pleasure to meet here did some bar time before she met her worthless British husband.  If I had to judge life merit, she would win hands down.  They are still married, and he still cheats on her whenever he can, and in my estimation has some serious things wrong with him mentally.  He's got money.

 

She, was the nicest, most trustworthy women I met here, better than my wife.  I wish I had met her in the bar.  I trusted her with the combo to my safe, something my wife never knew.

[FritsSikkink]

19 hours ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

It has nothing to do with selling people. And you should not be telling people what to do given your scant understanding. Simpy not your business. Did the OP ask for your advice? There are many reasons not to agree to Sinsot but the issue of buying and selling people is not one of them. In many cases sinsod is symbolic with monies and gold being returned after having been put on display. BTW A gold wedding is not a symbol of slavery or ownership...just to put your mind at rest!

The OP asked for advice, that you don't like the answer is your problem

[klauskunkel]

Quote

Sin Sod - who here got married without paying and what makes it not apply?

It's not a law or a rule that is being applied, it's a custom that is either followed, or not.

[Denim]

45 minutes ago, Reigntax said:

Yes. But what would you do with 3 goats?

Don't go there.

[Isaanbiker]

20 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

No marriage, no sin sod - problem solved.

  "A real man can help himself." A. Einstein

[Isaanbiker]

51 minutes ago, Reigntax said:

Yes. But what would you do with 3 goats?

Make them happy if that's part of your culture. 

[digger70]

To pay or not to pay,,,,,    

A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated woman is unheard of. A Dowry for an average middle class educated Thai would normally be in the region of 100,000 Baht.

This varies as an example, should the bride be a divorcee or a “Mia Maiy” – a spoiled/ruined wife, normally no dowry is paid. If she has a child or children from a former marriage or relationship no dowry is paid either.       ( No pay for Used Items)

[OneMoreFarang]

6 minutes ago, digger70 said:

A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated woman is unheard of.

Actually it happens.

[bluejets]

It's a custom for Thai people.

Farang don't come into it.

Stay right away from even a suggestion.