Diary of a farang in Isaan

[HighPriority]

I threw “teelak” @ my wife last night, she’d been out all day working as a cleaner with her Thai friend.

”I missed you teelak” 
She looked at me and burst out laughing ! 
“Who you talk to ? Who teach you ?

”A wise old owl, teelak” ????

I need to keep her on her toes... ???????? 
 

[owl sees all]

4 hours ago, HighPriority said:

I threw “teelak” @ my wife last night, she’d been out all day working as a cleaner with her Thai friend.

”I missed you teelak” 
She looked at me and burst out laughing ! 
“Who you talk to ? Who teach you ?

”A wise old owl, teelak” ????

I need to keep her on her toes... ???????? 
 

I am a quiet and considerate person. Mrs Owl is emotional, but not in a overly loving way. She is also fearful. She doesn't like lightning and thunder or snakes or peelaws. She doesn't like me paying ladies on the internet to show me their bodies. She doesn't like me making love to the local women; especially in a sugar field. Can be a tad jealous; well sometimes; all of the time. If I make up a joke and tell her; she never gets it! When she came in after a hard day's gossiping in the village, I would say. "You missed me teelak?" She would reply "Next time, get you."

 

But, on the upside she can make a decent cup of rosy; if she doesn't get the sugar and salt mixed up. What else? She seems very happy among other people in the village. And she can drive. And - not a lot of women in the village would know this - she could list all the champions of the EPL since its inception.

 

Her English has improved over the years, and if someone heard her say "you have money?" they would swear she was fluent in English.

 

If I could change one thing, it would be;;;,,,,, thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[bluesofa]

3 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

{snipped}

 

If I could change one thing, it would be;;;,,,,, thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still thinking.

 

You've had five minutes already. You surely can't still be thinking?

Don't keep us all in suspenders for too long.

[Andrew Dwyer]

22 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

You've had five minutes already. You surely can't still be thinking?

Don't keep us all in suspenders for too long.

I don’t think he thinking about what to change I think he is thinking “ is it possible Mrs Owl could have access to the forum ? “.

Hence the delay !!

[bluesofa]

11 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

I don’t think he thinking about what to change I think he is thinking “ is it possible Mrs Owl could have access to the forum ? “.

Hence the delay !!

Oh dear, I hope she's not googling sodium chlorate.

O

[Kadilo]

I think he has popped to the sugar field. 

[owl sees all]

57 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

I think he has popped to the sugar field. 

Have you ever tried having sex in a sugar field?

 

Stalks poking you from beneath. Razor sharp sugar leaves cutting you (and the lovely lady) to shreds. Bugs trying to get into any places that might hold food. Snakes on the lookout for dinner. The farmer seeking out the rats; with his gun. The hired hands spraying glyphosphate everywhere. And the ladies husband calling out "teelak, teelak."

 

Of course you haven't. It's just not worth the agro'. Don't try it Kadilo. Not that you would.

 

[bluesofa]

11 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

Have you ever tried having sex in a sugar field?

 

Stalks poking you from beneath. Razor sharp sugar leaves cutting you (and the lovely lady) to shreds. Bugs trying to get into any places that might hold food. Snakes on the lookout for dinner. The farmer seeking out the rats; with his gun. The hired hands spraying glyphosphate everywhere. And the ladies husband calling out "teelak, teelak."

 

Of course you haven't. It's just not worth the agro'. Don't try it Kadilo. Not that you would.

Obviously the voice of experience.

 

My only experience anywhere close to that was in Gloucestershire while on a cycling holiday thirty years ago.

The two of us turned into some sort of crop field, it was almost waist-high.

While busy sowing wild oats there was the sound of a helicopter. It hovered stationary overhead, we had obviously been spotted. What else could we do but wave at it?

Never even put me off my stroke.

[owl sees all]

15 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

Obviously the voice of experience.

 

My only experience anywhere close to that was in Gloucestershire while on a cycling holiday thirty years ago.

The two of us turned into some sort of crop field, it was almost waist-high.

While busy sowing wild oats there was the sound of a helicopter. It hovered stationary overhead, we had obviously been spotted. What else could we do but wave at it?

Never even put me off my stroke.

Crop circles! So it was you; and the good lady.

[Kadilo]

1 hour ago, owl sees all said:

Have you ever tried having sex in a sugar field?

 

Stalks poking you from beneath. Razor sharp sugar leaves cutting you (and the lovely lady) to shreds. Bugs trying to get into any places that might hold food. Snakes on the lookout for dinner. The farmer seeking out the rats; with his gun. The hired hands spraying glyphosphate everywhere. And the ladies husband calling out "teelak, teelak."

 

Of course you haven't. It's just not worth the agro'. Don't try it Kadilo. Not that you would.

 

Oh I would.  .........but now  I won’t. 

[HighPriority]

2 hours ago, owl sees all said:

Have you ever tried having sex in a sugar field?

 

Stalks poking you from beneath. Razor sharp sugar leaves cutting you (and the lovely lady) to shreds. Bugs trying to get into any places that might hold food. Snakes on the lookout for dinner. The farmer seeking out the rats; with his gun. The hired hands spraying glyphosphate everywhere. And the ladies husband calling out "teelak, teelak."

 

Of course you haven't. It's just not worth the agro'. Don't try it Kadilo. Not that you would.

 

Oh, the images conjured... ????

[Odysseus123]

Ah..so the thread has turned soft core?

 

I always knew it would.I used to say "Algernon,mark me well..this topic is bound to go bottoms up!"

 

Some people have all the luck..

[bluesofa]

10 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Ah..so the thread has turned soft core?

 

I always knew it would.I used to say "Algernon,mark me well..this topic is bound to go bottoms up!"

 

Some people have all the luck..

I do like you choice of worms there: 'bound' and 'bottoms'.

 

[HighPriority]

2 hours ago, bluesofa said:

I do like you choice of worms there: 'bound' and 'bottoms'.

 

Worms !! ????????

To be avoided at all costs !

 

[faraday]

37 minutes ago, HighPriority said:

Worms !! ????????

To be avoided at all costs !

 

Shhh..... don't tell POTY!!

 

????????

[owl sees all]

4 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Ah..so the thread has turned soft core?

 

I always knew it would.I used to say "Algernon,mark me well..this topic is bound to go bottoms up!"

 

Some people have all the luck..

Oh dear Ody!

 

I was accused by Mrs Owl of having sex in the sugar field. That field has just been turned into a euca plantation.

 

The topic of me and the Lao lady still gets thrown at me in times of strife. I have tended to ignore it recent years. It was over a decade ago. To make things worse, the farmer over the back saw us doing the deed and told the Mrs; or at least she said he did. So she had proof.

 

Life goes on; for the present.

[HighPriority]

Only one choice Owl... laugh or cry...

 

Im lucky, my wife has decided that when she wins lotto she will buy me 7 Mia noi ????

I told her I only need 5... plus her and 1 night off... ????????

”No darling, 7 ! “

Maybe she is playing the long game... ?

[HighPriority]

32 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

Oh dear Ody!

 

I was accused by Mrs Owl of having sex in the sugar field. That field has just been turned into a euca plantation.

 

 

Well, that explains her disapproval of the eucas, you’re just covering your tracks ! ????

[Kadilo]

Been getting out and about on foot whilst stuck in the UK staying at my parents in Essex. Been averaging around 15 miles /day for the past couple of weeks but managed to clock up 23 today whilst finding some places I never new existed. 

 

I like to walk along the River Thames towards Southend and the pier is usually my landmark to return. Depending which route I take it’s generally around 10 miles from home to the pier. 

 

Today i took a diversion to Hadleigh Park/Castle. From there you can follow a footpath all the way into Southend along Leigh and Chalkwell. 

 

Can see a bit of the Castle in one photo as I left to move onwards 

 

The bike trails are in Hadleigh Park. This was used in the 2012 Olympic for the mountain bike event. The 4th photo of the rocks and the decline was part of the black run used in the event. Looked scary enough just looking down for me. 

 

My feet are sore as. I need to get myself a bike so i can explore more of the trails. Cycling has really taken off over here what with CV19. Never seen so many cyclists everywhere. Can’t be a bad thing. 

 

As always apologies for the photo quality. Click and go I’m afraid. 

 

Missing Thailand like crazy. No sign of any relaxation on either side as far as flying goes. I kinda wrote off this year so anything sooner will be a bonus. 

 

I asked the girlfriend how she would cope if I couldn’t make it back this year. She said we could meet up in Korea or Japan ????............ignorance is bliss.

She then carried on eating. 

 

 

[Odysseus123]

6 hours ago, owl sees all said:

The topic of me and the Lao lady still gets thrown at me in times of strife. I have tended to ignore it recent years. It was over a decade ago. To make things worse, the farmer over the back saw us doing the deed and told the Mrs; or at least she said he did. So she had proof.

Owl..Thai wives have memories like elephants when they so choose.It is how selective these memories actually are that fascinates me...

 

My wife does exactly the same thing and even co-opts circumstances from my past-nothing to do with her-as part of the verbal artillery barrage which crashes around my defences from time to time.

 

Nevertheless,choosing a cane field was a very earthy move..in line with your extensive interest in agriculture,I presume?????

[Kadilo]

8 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

 

 

Nevertheless,choosing a cane field was a very earthy move..in line with your extensive interest in agriculture,I presume?????

Goes with all that sweet talking. 
 

One thing I know for sure. If my missus kept beating the drum about something I had never done, like cheating with someone, I would make <deleted> sure I did after!

[Odysseus123]

6 hours ago, HighPriority said:

Only one choice Owl... laugh or cry...

 

Im lucky, my wife has decided that when she wins lotto she will buy me 7 Mia noi ????

I told her I only need 5... plus her and 1 night off... ????????

”No darling, 7 ! “

Maybe she is playing the long game... ?

Oh dear HP,I wouldn't go there if I were you.

A quiet bit of fantasizing in the man cave is one thing-mandatory actually-but being a bold roistering Jack-the-lad in Isaan is quite another..

[Odysseus123]

2 hours ago, Kadilo said:

Missing Thailand like crazy. No sign of any relaxation on either side as far as flying goes. I kinda wrote off this year so anything sooner will be a bonus. 

I remember Southend pier very well from nigh on 50 years ago (47 actually) and thank you for the photos.I just hope that you get to go "home" soon and be re-united with your loved ones.

 

"Head up,spear up and shield on your back..

and that's how you take the Eagles through Britain"

 

Rudyard Kipling,

'Puck of Pook's Hill'

[thaibeachlovers]

On 6/8/2020 at 2:19 PM, owl sees all said:

There was me saying (a few posts back) that I had extensive pics of Som's house when he decided to lift it up one metre, and I could only find one. 

 

Windows 10 will not let me open one of my memory sticks where all the others must be stored.

 

 

This was a popular scene around the villages when I first got to Isaan. Haven't seen a house lifted for at least five years.

Same in my wife's village, or at least when I was married to her. They build the lower part out of concrete blocks as the floods invade the lower level. Her cousin had water marks as high as me on her walls.

[faraday]

2 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

the verbal artillery barrage which crashes around my defences from time to time.

Yes, that all makes for a jolly afternoon, na?

 

????

 

These days however, I don't say anything - seems to work. She is, apart from that, a lovely wife.

[Odysseus123]

9 hours ago, faraday said:

These days however, I don't say anything - seems to work. She is, apart from that, a lovely wife.

Great tactics and should be employed by all PBE's (Poor Blinkin'

 Expats) in Thailand...if the "enemy " has remained quiet that means he's non-existent on the radar for the time being

 

Hmmm..come to think of it..it works well in OZ too!????

[GarryP]

17 hours ago, Kadilo said:

Been getting out and about on foot whilst stuck in the UK staying at my parents in Essex. Been averaging around 15 miles /day for the past couple of weeks but managed to clock up 23 today whilst finding some places I never new existed. 

 

I like to walk along the River Thames towards Southend and the pier is usually my landmark to return. Depending which route I take it’s generally around 10 miles from home to the pier. 

 

Today i took a diversion to Hadleigh Park/Castle. From there you can follow a footpath all the way into Southend along Leigh and Chalkwell. 

 

Can see a bit of the Castle in one photo as I left to move onwards 

 

The bike trails are in Hadleigh Park. This was used in the 2012 Olympic for the mountain bike event. The 4th photo of the rocks and the decline was part of the black run used in the event. Looked scary enough just looking down for me. 

 

My feet are sore as. I need to get myself a bike so i can explore more of the trails. Cycling has really taken off over here what with CV19. Never seen so many cyclists everywhere. Can’t be a bad thing. 

 

As always apologies for the photo quality. Click and go I’m afraid. 

 

Missing Thailand like crazy. No sign of any relaxation on either side as far as flying goes. I kinda wrote off this year so anything sooner will be a bonus. 

 

I asked the girlfriend how she would cope if I couldn’t make it back this year. She said we could meet up in Korea or Japan ????............ignorance is bliss.

She then carried on eating. 

 

 

 

Just had a look on google maps as I have never been to that area of the UK and that is a hell of a walk. I think I would prefer a mountain bike for that.  Most of my 19 years in the UK was spent in West Yorkshire, with all school/college holidays spent in Sandown, Isle of Wight. 

 

The main thing that I miss about the UK is the countryside and small country towns and villages. 

[faraday]

4 minutes ago, GarryP said:

The main thing that I miss about the UK is the countryside and small country towns and villages. 

And having a decent pint, with a pub lunch.

[owl sees all]

18 hours ago, Kadilo said:

Been getting out and about on foot whilst stuck in the UK staying at my parents in Essex. Been averaging around 15 miles /day for the past couple of weeks but managed to clock up 23 today whilst finding some places I never new existed. 

 

I like to walk along the River Thames towards Southend and the pier is usually my landmark to return. Depending which route I take it’s generally around 10 miles from home to the pier. 

 

Today i took a diversion to Hadleigh Park/Castle. From there you can follow a footpath all the way into Southend along Leigh and Chalkwell. 

 

Can see a bit of the Castle in one photo as I left to move onwards 

 

The bike trails are in Hadleigh Park. This was used in the 2012 Olympic for the mountain bike event. The 4th photo of the rocks and the decline was part of the black run used in the event. Looked scary enough just looking down for me. 

 

My feet are sore as. I need to get myself a bike so i can explore more of the trails. Cycling has really taken off over here what with CV19. Never seen so many cyclists everywhere. Can’t be a bad thing. 

 

As always apologies for the photo quality. Click and go I’m afraid. 

 

Missing Thailand like crazy. No sign of any relaxation on either side as far as flying goes. I kinda wrote off this year so anything sooner will be a bonus. 

 

I asked the girlfriend how she would cope if I couldn’t make it back this year. She said we could meet up in Korea or Japan ????............ignorance is bliss.

She then carried on eating. 

 

 

Great pics there Kadilo.

[Kadilo]

6 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

Great pics there Kadilo.

Cheers but there was no magic there just look and click. 

 

Which reminds me of when my girlfriend called on skype the other day and said “you look different. Tired like you been working night and day. Not same as when you come see me”

 

So I reminded her she looks the same as me when she’s not using her “magic” app to take away the lines and apply make up. 

 

Its a sh.te day here today. Been raining all day and no chance of getting out and about. At least in Thailand it’s warm rain. 

 

Back offshore next week with a a 10 hour drive to Aberdeen on Monday.  Looks like BA are starting again so hopefully last time of driving. 

 

Take care.