Bar girl

[Sanmiguel5]

Hi! I met this girl in Pattaya at a bar. She is new to the scene I gather from that she barely speaks english, she doesnt shave and has no tattoos. We had good chemistry and enjoyed our time together but then I went to Bangkok to see the royal palace. Anyway this girl missed me so much that she paid a taxifare 1000 baht to come see me for my last two days before I went home. During this time I did not pay her a single baht, since I was all out of money. I only paid for food which was all from 7eleven. I did not even pay her taxi ride home, I only gave her what was left in my wallet at the airport (a few hundred baht). Now half a year has passed and she has been writing to me everyday. I will go and see her in one month for Christmas. Here is the problem.

There has been quite a few nights when I couldn't all of a sudden reach her (like once a week). Her excuses to this was that "she drunk too much" or "phone no have battery". This is all <deleted> excuses and I've even called her out on it to which she has no good response. I know she has customers the nights she says this even though she denies it. Anyway, now she says she has gotten a new job at a factory and she says it is close to home so it has to be in Pattaya. "Coincidentally" this new job of hers started now in november right around Pattaya peaks for sex tourism. Now it's almost everynight that I can't reach her and she blames this of course on that she is tired from her new job. Anyone knows if this is a common lie bargirls push to make you feel like they have become good? I should mention that I am 22 years old and this girl is 20. I work as a construction worker and this girl knows this. In other words she knows I'm not loaded. So do you guys think she really is turning over a new leaf? The whole situation is so weird. If she wanted to scam someone I would be the worst farang in Pattaya. But it makes no sense to me why she would want to get serious with me. It seems even more ilogical that she still had/maybe still has customers if she wants to get serious. I've visited Thailand since I was 15 because my dad lives there so I know quite a lot about how they operate. She doesn't know this of course. This situation is pretty much turning on all of my red flags but I just can't wrap my head around this situation. I just wanted to post this in case someone here has had a similar experience they could share. I feel like I have to dump her but maybe I'm jumping the gun here. 

I'm thankfull for all the replies! 

Edited November 25, 2019 by Sanmiguel5

[champers]

Move on and find someone new when you get back to Pattaya. Try to be more generous.

[AlexRich]

So you met a "hairy" bargirl ... and she sometimes goes incommunicado ... and now she works in a local factory?

 

Sounds like a keeper.

[bkk6060]

Yes, come back and find another Bargirl.  I am sure the next one will be more honest and faithful.

Good luck to you.

[sunnyboy2018]

Count your blessing and be kinder. Only judge her as you would judge yourself. Are you 'good'?

[Sanmiguel5]

Champers, exactly why would I be more generous? Then all the ones that are after money would flock to me. That is exactly what I don't want. Usually when I meet a bar girl I am done with her after one night. I've only ever had serious girls before from like 7eleven and the kind. So what I basically wanted to know was if this one is worth getting serious with or if I should find a new girl that has an ordinary job.

[neeray]

Are you not able to recognize a red flag? Or many red flags?

 

 

[rumak]

2 minutes ago, neeray said:

Are you not able to recognize a red flag? Or many red flags?

 

 

uh........can you not yet recognize a  TVTP ?    hint:  see madmen's  response  

[oldhippy]

2 minutes ago, neeray said:

Are you not able to recognize a red flag? Or many red flags?

 

 

The OP flies from England to Thailand to go to the whores in Pataya, has a good time, and returned home broke.

What would he need red flags for?

 

 

[jastheace]

one of the worst TVTP's so far.

likes to type though...

a budding author in the making ?

[kralledr]

Lol

 

she is new to the scene yeah ????...

she missed you so mush she paid 1000 bath taxi fare, sure because she miss your wallet ^^

[brokenbone]

she has to make a living somehow, so i think that is why she becomes unavailable.

anyway the fact that she spent and spend time with a non profitable

other like yourself is a testimony she enjoyed and enjoy time with you

[Skallywag]

 

2 hours ago, Sanmiguel5 said:

bargirls push to make you feel like they have become good?

Like so many "holier than thou" men in the world, you deem a bargirl as "not good". You will have to get over that.  

 

You had good chemistry and you enjoyed your time together.  This is what is important in a relationship

 

Nothing to lose to hook up with her again when you return and see how it goes

[champers]

1 hour ago, Sanmiguel5 said:

Champers, exactly why would I be more generous? Then all the ones that are after money would flock to me. That is exactly what I don't want. Usually when I meet a bar girl I am done with her after one night. I've only ever had serious girls before from like 7eleven and the kind. So what I basically wanted to know was if this one is worth getting serious with or if I should find a new girl that has an ordinary job.

I think all women have an expectation that a good man will be able to support them financially, not just in Thailand. Taking her out for a meal once in a while would make a nice change from 7/11 food.

Perhaps you could look for a cougar; an older woman who would support you. All depends how ripped and handsome you are. You say you are in construction so you should be up to the mark.

Good luck, stud.

[Tayaout]

It costs her nothing to keep contact with you. She might really enjoy your presence but you should try meeting someone who doesn't need to lie to you about her work. 

[Pravda]

OP is control freak. 

 

You meet a bargirl and then you are annoyed because she needs to make money, God forbid. 

 

Newsflash, you are with a prostitute! You're not paying. Cool! She's with the customers and you don't like it? Well, get an office girl or something. Even a guy like me in late 40s can get a student on tinder. 

 

Are you ugly? 

[ezzra]

Amusing to see that bargirl topics gets the most attention of tvf members as we all feel like a seasoned warriors of a hopeless battle, the OP would have done well to search the zillion posts concerning bargirs and he would have saved himself posting a topic that it's pretty much a forgone conclusion...

[CharlieH]

At 22 why would you even care ? You should be forgetting all about any "relationship" and just enjoy the variety available to you. Stop being so serious, one thing you can bank on, there are many many more where she came from.

[neeray]

1 hour ago, rumak said:

uh........can you not yet recognize a  TVTP ?    hint:  see madmen's  response  

1) I don't automatically assume every NEWBY to be a troll. I give the benefit of doubt.

2) I don't read "madmen" posts as they are usually drivel and a waste of time.

[spidermike007]

 

 

They all have a "story". Few are true. Believe a bar girl at your own peril.

 

Look, she has to survive. So she is doing what she has to do. If she was innocent when you met her, likely that had changed by now. You are a young guy and it is likely that she does like you. But that is about it. When you are around and it is convenient for her, she will make time for you. While you are gone, just assume she has 5-20 lovers a month. If that bothers you, find a real "civilian".

 

There is a very low likelihood that the factory story is true. Very few bargirls go from working in a bar to working in a factory. It is usually the other way around!

Edited November 25, 2019 by spidermike007

[Skallywag]

27 minutes ago, Tayaout said:

It costs her nothing to keep contact with you. 

Really? I pay 3 baht a minute to call the USA from Thailand.  Can add up ...$6 an hour

And there is the aphorism "time is money" ... She is taking the time

[spidermike007]

They all have a "story". Few are true. Believe a bar girl at your own peril.

 

Look, she has to survive. So she is doing what she has to do. If she was innocent w now. You are a young guy and it is likely that she does like you. But that is about it. When you are around and it is convenient for her, she will make time for you. While you are gone, just assume she has 5-20 lovers a month. If that bothers you, find a real "civilian".

 

There is a very low likelihood that the factory story is true. Very few bargirls go from working in a bar to working in a factory. It is usually the other way around!

[spidermike007]

39 minutes ago, Pravda said:

OP is control freak. 

 

You meet a bargirl and then you are annoyed because she needs to make money, God forbid. 

 

Newsflash, you are with a prostitute! You're not paying. Cool! She's with the customers and you don't like it? Well, get an office girl or something. Even a guy like me in late 40s can get a student on tinder. 

 

Are you ugly? 

If he was in a position to support her, he would have a reasonable complaint. Otherwise she is going to do what she needs to do and if he cannot understand that he does not have a clue. 

[Skallywag]

15 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

While you are gone, just assume she has 5-20 lovers a month. If that bothers you, find a real "civilian".

But if you marry a 32 year old divorced Thai woman "civilian", whose husband has run off and left her with 2 kids that you will help raise, then you are considered a noble man and have married a "good" girl, and have a good heart.

This real "civilian" may have been "servicing" her husband 5-20 times a month, but at least she wasn't a prostitute! 555

Just how I look at the absurdity of love and relationships (for some - not all)

BTW -  you should be on the POTY list spidermike IMO.  Always enjoy your comments and philosophy on relationships

 

 

 

Edited November 25, 2019 by Skallywag

[Tayaout]

16 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

Really? I pay 3 baht a minute to call the USA from Thailand.  Can add up ...$6 an hour

And there is the aphorism "time is money" ... She is taking the time

I don't know if you heard about Line and the Internet? 

Edited November 25, 2019 by Tayaout

[spidermike007]

7 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

But if you marry a 32 year old divorced Thai woman "civilian", whose husband has run off and left her with 2 kids that you will help raise, then you are considered a noble man and have married a "good" girl, and have a good heart.

She may have been "servicing" her husband 5-20 times a month, but at least she wasn't a prostitute! 555

 

 

 

You read alot into my post. I have no issues with guys hooking up with working girls. Just be realistic, take a few years to get to know her and know what you are getting into. 

[OneMoreFarang]

She is different. Marry her!

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, Sanmiguel5 said:

There has been quite a few nights when I couldn't all of a sudden reach her (like once a week). Her excuses to this was that "she drunk too much" or "phone no have battery". This is all <deleted> excuses and I've even called her out on it to which she has no good response.

I guess you wanted to hear something like: Yesterday I saw Peter again. He loves my back but it hurts because he is so big. But a least he pays alright. And the day before Steve visited me. He loves my mouth and face. I always spend an hour cleaning my hair after he comes.

 

Or is it maybe not so bad that she tells you: I was tired...

[RichardColeman]

OK, look, you quite obviously know what this girl is, and what she is doing. Move on.

 

That said. we all laugh and joke about your situation, but nearly all of us have had a similar experience in our early days. Probably as we come from nations where women are a little more honest and reliable and we want to believe that they are what we want them to be. 

[PingRoundTheWorld]

Wake up. She's a hooker. Just because she likes you doesn't mean she's going to stop - you're not paying her to stop and even if you were she might still do "jobs" on the side. Partying and getting laid and getting paid for it beats working in a factory - which is why those who do go work in factories almost always return to the bar later on.

 

As for lying - she's probably so used to it she automatically does it with every man whether customer or not. A long time ago I was banging this one girl who told me she doesn't care if I sleep around as long as I'm always honest with her. She also denied many times that she's a hooker, claimed she has a normal job, despite many red flags pointing otherwise - for starters she'd party with different guys on a regular basis, then they'd leave the club together and she'll return an hour or two later (after getting paid I guess) and head straight to me (now that the customer is gone). I was basically just laughing when my friend found her escort profile - yeah right, not working... she had plenty of reviews, too. Lying is a way of life for some of these women.

 

Bottom line: smile, you got it for free, other men have to pay. Hookers need love too. Take it for what it is and don't fall in love.