Don't move your Thai wife to the West if you want to come back .

[BritManToo]

15 hours ago, sirineou said:

Grrrrr  I don't care, I am coming this spring with her ot without her . Mostly with her though because what will i do there without her at my age? PS: I will be 63 then.

Plenty of new Thai ladies waiting to meet you, at 63 you're still hansum.

[BritManToo]

16 hours ago, mike787 said:

"Better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all"

Updated to modern time .... "Better to have loved and lost your house, than never loved at all"

(Believe it was Tennyson, and not Shakespeare)

[chilly07]

The reason we settled in Thailand when I retired is that we couldn't afford to live in the UK so we paid off all debts and can live off my pensions. My wife can cash in when I'm gone and join her son's in the UK where she would have to work or stay here. Up to her.

[statman78]

My Thai wife lived in the USA for 9 years before moving back to Thailand.  She enjoyed many things there but is happier here in Chiang Rai.

 

i am also happier here than in the USA 

[RobbyXNorway]

Stay in Florida, is my advice. Thailand is not really worth it. I see nothing but trouble ahead politicaly and financialy here.

[DJ54]

OP that’s awesome and hopefully you’ve got use to the sometimes corny TV replies...  most are joking. Some well maybe that got <deleted>

kicked in their face..... it washes off...  My Mom 87 ish lives up in mid Florida Ocala area......country 

[SiSePuede419]

If I may ask, exactly what education degree and job experience prepared your wife to do so well in a state overrun with low wage workers from Puerto Rico and Haati, not to mention every single country in South America?!?!?

 

I remember reading on Stickman about 20 years ago a man did exactly what you did.  Found out his wife was working at a massage parlor on the downlow.

 

Big money. Oops. ????

 

 

[FarangULong]

On 1/18/2020 at 4:40 PM, ChaiyaTH said:

Joking right? Trump is a saint compared to what has been happening here. 

Don't bother. Those guys who can't help themselves but bring up Trump in something that is completely unrelated, are so foaming at the mouth with hatred (and probably panic that he will be re-elected if the Dems keep it up the way they have been), that any attempt at reasoning with them is a pure waste of time. You'd have more success at arguing with a brick wall.

As for the OP:

 

While the comment about the wife maybe enjoying the outside dick too much is harsh, some of your replies make me think he might not be wrong (except for saying it the way he did) after all. ????

I already had to laugh when you said "I'm a stud muffin" (I get that it was said somewhat jokingly, but still) combined with the location "Florida", which is (in)famous for mostly drug dealers and old people living there, and then the whole thing about how it seems that it's solely your wife who get's to dictate/decide where you live.

While there's nothing wrong with talking to each other, and looking out for one another's needs, there's also a need for compromise. And what's the point of giving in to her, if you know you will not be happy living in the US, without at least having TRIED to live in Thailand (again)?! If she really loves and RESPECTS you, she would at least give it a shot. I am not saying she is obliged to move and leave everything behind, but to at least work something out regarding her job, to maybe get an extended holiday (so instead of 3-4 weeks, maybe her regular vacation time + a month or so unpaid holiday) and thus see for herself whether she REALLY doesn't want to go back. That way you could both win in a way, as a) she might change her mind and you get what you want and/or b) she might not but you also might decide that it's not for you after all, and/or c) you decide to split your time between both places.

That, or it's another <deleted>ty situation with her deciding she wants to stay after all, but you being put off completely and wanting to go home again xD

[JAFO]

On 1/18/2020 at 5:18 AM, sirineou said:

If you ever want to move back to Thailand , think twice before you move your Thai wife to the US

My wife and I went back to the US and got married there. However at no point did she ever want to stay. It was always a plan to return even after establishing herself working, became a US citizen and was making good money. When it was time to go, she couldn't wait to return to the home we built.  We could have easily stayed in the US but at that time we were renting a place and when we went and looked at homes she saw the costs, the mortgage, the interest, the property tax etc and she really had no interest in staying. Not all Thai women want to stay in the US. That said, we do visit the states every year and after about 3 or so weeks we have had our fill.

On 1/18/2020 at 5:18 AM, sirineou said:

especially now that her parents passed away.

This is probably the biggest driver for her wanting to stay. She really has nothing to return too and now she is comfortable and established. There was no way my wife was going to leave her Dad behind and bringing him to the states was not an option. Now that said, we have talked that after her Dad passes options are open but we both clearly know that its likely that if we move back, she would have to go back to work and now we are both older versus now where we live a simple easy life. I think we agree that we can stay here in Thailand debt free in our beautiful home or move back to the states and start the debt again. 

 

Good Luck OP

 

 

[SoSoCNX]

As soon my friends wives, received citizenship they all filed for a divorce. The age difference between my friends and their partners was between 5 and 15 years. There is not Love just money and citizenship.

 

[AverageBloke]

On 1/19/2020 at 10:02 AM, Grumpy John said:

I took my wife back to Melbourne in Australia in July some years ago.  She hated it. Way to cold.  We went to Cairns which was a bit cool for her.  Then the year before last I thought I may have to return to  Australia to qualify for a pension.  I thought her head would explode when I told her!  Luckily it was only for a couple of months.  She came for a month (November) and I stayed till January.  It was not just the weather she didn't like, it was just as much the food....or lack of Thai food to be precise.  So yer,  iT's like the song "some girl's do and some girl's don't, some girl's need a lot of lovin' and some girl's don't".  They all different!

I'm bringing my girl over to Australia for a holiday in March. I live in far northern New South Wales so it's semi tropical and close to the oceans and the mountains. I've been going a local temple with heaps of happy couples and all the women seem really friendly and content and none of the them want to return home permanently. I agree about finding an ideal location but number 1 has to be a strong sense of community. I love how these women have brought a small slice of Thailand to Australia. 

[fordguy61mi]

I brought my Thai wife here to the US and we’re going to Thailand to live in 4 years when I retire. My pension will go a lot farther there and our quality of life will be far better. She hasn’t put up much of a fuss and she knows I’ll go whether she does or not and since I’m the gravy train she’ll go. Maybe the mistake you made was making her too independent. Either way, good luck to you.

[Thingamabob]

My Thai wife and I have been married for 30 years. We have lived and worked in the UK, Australia and Taiwan, and have visited many other countries including the USA, Germany and France. There is only one place where we both want to live and that is Thailand.

[noone223]

1 minute ago, Thingamabob said:

My Thai wife and I have been married for 30 years.

Thank you for sharing your story.

[CharlieH]

reported offensive remark removed, and responses to it.

[Tongjaw]

28 minutes ago, fordguy61mi said:

I brought my Thai wife here to the US and we’re going to Thailand to live in 4 years when I retire. My pension will go a lot farther there and our quality of life will be far better. She hasn’t put up much of a fuss and she knows I’ll go whether she does or not and since I’m the gravy train she’ll go. Maybe the mistake you made was making her too independent. Either way, good luck to you.

She will go because your the gravy chain!! Quite a sad post actually if that is how you think about your wife. 

[LivinLOS]

On 1/18/2020 at 3:49 PM, HuskerDo said:

"Give Thai people a chance and they excel"...….

 

The better way to say it is "give nearly anyone a chance and they will excel". Especially if they came from a poor background. I think your wife's story, in itself, is something folks wanting to move to Thailand should consider. Why do so many want to move to Thailand when so many there want to move to a better life in the west. I guess it's thinking the grass is greener on the other side. If folks in the west would handle their finances better and invest better during their working years there would be no reason to move overseas.

Climate.. I come from UK originally.. Winters suck.. 

 

I am now spending more time in the west than the east, some with the wife some alone.. We have dogs and a heavy footprint in Thailand that is hard to escape from and I like to winter here at the very least.. I can see a time when a bolt hole in S Europe for half a year and N Thailand for half a year is probably my preferred outcome.

[Chongalulu]

On 1/18/2020 at 8:45 PM, sirineou said:

I am not sure if taking a girl out of thailand is like taking a fish out of water is correct. We know several thai couple and as far as I can tell they all seem to thrive. for two of the couples the wife males more money than the Husband, One is a Hairdresser for the Hair cuttery and makes crazy money, the other got a job a seamstress at a parachute factory, and now runs the whole place, wants my wife to go work there, This little Thai  girl jumps out of planes!!! They are required to jump out of the plane with their product, I guess you do a real good job if you are required to use it on yourself LOL

Point made, Give Thai people a chance and they excel.  But that's not good for for me, I love Thailand , I want to be there.

   

Anecdotal evidence is no substitute for reality. The majority of wives taken to the west don’t have great qualifications or where they do they are not relevant to a decent job and their written English is poor due to the education system.Most will be doing menial work. I saw none in uk that had done anything special. The only exception was my stepdaughter whom I brought to UK at 9 and ended up with a good economics degree and subsequent job in commerce. 

[thaipo7]

We have the same story.  Married over 47 years and I am retired, built a nice home in Thailand and we were supposed to move here years ago.  There is always a reason not to move.  So we come here 5 months of the year and live in the US the other 7 months or less.  I hate the long plane rides and could live in Thailand for what it cost for taxes, fuel oil, property taxes, car insurance on two cars, and other expenses in a high tax state.  The retirement income would be gravy.

[khunPer]

On 1/18/2020 at 2:18 PM, sirineou said:

Any way, just wanted to make that warning, you bring her here, you might not be able to peel her away. 

It's often the other way round, the only thing the Thai ladies dream bout is returning home; however some years of work is Okay, so they return with a pile of nice money.

 

But perhaps sunny Florida is more attractive the cold northern Europen countries...????

[nglodnig]

On 1/18/2020 at 9:38 PM, tgw said:

it always depends on the money.

it takes much more money to feel comfortable in the West than in Thailand.

of course if you make enough to spend with not too many restrictions, why go back ??

 

I know Thai ladies that are in Germany and Switzerland where the husband earns an average income, not one of them wants to stay.

There are just too many restrictions in personal liberties and the "price of doing something" is way too high.

 

In Switzerland, I was in the top 1% earners, but spending about 25% of my income on a mortgage for a 3 bedroom house would have taken 40 years to pay it off. So I left.

 

And for the little things, the transportation pass for Zürich costs about 24000 baht per year, 3 very small cokes, a portion of fries and a couple of sausages in the Swimming pool, 2000 baht. Large communal outdoor pool, the water is icy, must at around 20 or 22 °C.

When sightseeing with the kids in the mountains, all roads have fences so you can't stop the car without blocking the road, and there are stops every 1 or 2 Km... except they are mostly all full.

 

Without a large amount of money, Switzerland is hell.

We're in a very similar situation. We sold our (now overlarge with no children) house 20km outside Zurich last summer and our main base now is Chiang Mai. I'm on a contract in Singapore (maybe until middle of the year, maybe end) and my wife bitched about being in Thailand in rainy season (even though she spent every winter in TH and we used to go on holiday in July/August because of strict Swiss school rules). The cost of even a basic apartment and getting yet another car (that sits idle and/or empty six months of the year) would be at least 2-3 thousand francs a month (six months of which are wasted) not to mention the horrendous cost of living in CH - I reckon it would be far cheaper just to travel around three months of the year staying in hotels (and friends if possible) and rent a car would be far far cheaper - plus more interesting. Assuming we can go anywhere with a British passport then.

[bkk6060]

1 hour ago, LivinLOS said:

.. We have dogs

So you basically let dogs control your life and where you live?

This is one of those unbelievable accumulations 

tying people down to a place.

Makes no sense to me.  Come here and accumulate a bunch of western type possesions/things/animals and find yourself stuck.

[Mbaki]

On 1/18/2020 at 8:55 PM, Kwasaki said:

No, my wife wanted to go back Thailand after her being in Uk for 2 & 1/2 years she wanted to be back with her family. 

Same here when I brought my wife to Australia, she loved it but after awhile missed her family too much so I packed up everything and moved here, never looked back since.

[UbonEagle]

My wife lived and worked in Australia for 10+yrs, came back to Thailand for opportunity to do her own business, but was never obsessed about getting back, under different circumstances she would have happily stayed.

Regarding your predicament, why not keep both places and split your time between countries, cherry picking the best weather etc...that's what I'm planning in retirement

[ICELANDMAN]

34 minutes ago, nglodnig said:

We're in a very similar situation. We sold our (now overlarge with no children) house 20km outside Zurich last summer and our main base now is Chiang Mai. I'm on a contract in Singapore (maybe until middle of the year, maybe end) and my wife bitched about being in Thailand in rainy season (even though she spent every winter in TH and we used to go on holiday in July/August because of strict Swiss school rules). The cost of even a basic apartment and getting yet another car (that sits idle and/or empty six months of the year) would be at least 2-3 thousand francs a month (six months of which are wasted) not to mention the horrendous cost of living in CH - I reckon it would be far cheaper just to travel around three months of the year staying in hotels (and friends if possible) and rent a car would be far far cheaper - plus more interesting. Assuming we can go anywhere with a British passport then.

I agree with what you write, many people do not realize that things are what make us slaves, a house, a car, dogs, the good question and we are free or more stupid. Now I understand that for those who can afford it, it is better to have a home without debt, but two houses as I see many coming to Thailand for a couple of months I find completely stupid, with this money you can go to the best hotels not only in Thailand and make yours life much more interesting.

 

[Airalee]

You did it all wrong by moving to a nice place like Florida.

 

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-search/Trona_CA

[4MyEgo]

On 1/19/2020 at 12:18 AM, sirineou said:

I don't blame her, she is making good money here

There is the problem in my opinion. I took my wife back to Sydney Australia for 9 years, but the discussion went like this, I work, I support you financially, meaning you do not have to work, and you support me by staying home.

 

I don't like both the husband and wife working, been there, done that, causes stress in the relationship in my opinion, call me old fashioned, but if your on a good wicket and can afford to have the wife stay at home to take care of things in that department, and she is so inclined, then it's all and good and she loved it and continues to love it, she is not a slave by far, but enjoys being free to do her gardening, cooking etc, chores happen when they happen, no pressure, as long as the kids are fed, clothed and dropped to school, and dad gets a serve during lunch every now and again and some dessert after dinner every now and again, then it's all and good, I mean when both couples work, who has time for anything, and who is even thinking about sex ? 

 

On 1/19/2020 at 12:18 AM, sirineou said:

Even knowing what I know now, I still would have brought her here , I love my wife and I would want her to become a citizen for when I am gone, but I can't help but think that I made a mistake

Perhaps you did make a mistake, you see in my opinion, as soon as a woman starts working, she has her independence, i.e. she doesn't quite require you to support her, she doesn't need to depend on you, as I said above, depends on what you agreed on in the beginning, money isn't everything, but it sure does change things in a relationship.

 

On 1/19/2020 at 12:18 AM, sirineou said:

Any way, just wanted to make that warning, you bring her here, you might not be able to peel her away.

We agreed from the outset in 2007, we move to Sydney for 9 years until I retire then we move to Thailand, build a house and chill out, our discussion and plans did not change, we are both happy that everything has worked out, as for returning, well, depends what Thailand has instal next as things have been changing and the air is getting worse, so we will just stick with our plan and if plan B and C have to come into effect, thanks Thailand, it was good while it lasted, but as the old saying goes, nothing is forever.

 

The above said, the only warning you need is to make sure you plan and agree and stick to the plan that suits you, but as soon as you start changing plans or reneging on things and putting money before your relationship, well, what is it 3 out of 4 marriages go south ?

 

For anyone thinking I turned my wife into a slave, up to you, her time with me has been quite regarding for her and she has her independence financially if she sells up all the land she purchased while supporting me over the years, plus the big payday when I am gone.

 

[LivinLOS]

52 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

So you basically let dogs control your life and where you live?

This is one of those unbelievable accumulations 

tying people down to a place.

Makes no sense to me.  Come here and accumulate a bunch of western type possesions/things/animals and find yourself stuck.

Hell yeah my dogs well being is a huge deal to me.. My loyal little buddy will be taken absolute care of his entire life.. My dogs are family. 

I dont treat pets like some disposable item, he (they) trust me and I will not break that commitment for even huge sums (I can earn a mil a year in the west if I try).. I can of course relocate them all to the west but then I would have the same issue being back.. For now I want to make the most of both worlds. 

[BTB1977]

In your story you say she became a US citizen than in the end you say you want her to become a US citizen.  Not nice to make things up and lie. 

[gordyg422]

I have stayed in Thailand 18 years yes it,s changed but i know my wife would not stay anywhere else.????