Is it me or do Thai women just not say thank you?

[garrya]

People in far-east countries take many things for granted. 

They don't say thank you when leaving the bus or tuk-tuk. They don't say thank you after finishing their noodles in the local restaurant. They don't say thank you at the cashier in the supermarket and the list can go on.... (Of course some people may do, but not the majority)

It's not part of the culture. In the western world, we "thank" way too often, here, they "thank" way too rarely.

[poohy]

Thai people male or female IMHO rarely say thank you

Just watch people in shops never happens

[Kwasaki]

56 minutes ago, anterian said:

I find the opposite, I get embarrassed/ annoyed by the overly profuse ''thank you''s I get from many Thais, even though i realise it is often insincere, it is a formulaic response, like a wai.

Well keep your ATM card out of sight things will change. ????

[Kwasaki]

10 minutes ago, poohy said:

Thai people male or female IMHO rarely say thank you

Just watch people in shops never happens

Yes it's Thai culture, I learnt to always say thank-you automatically otherwise clip around ear from mum. 

[473geo]

While working self employed, with my mate, we took on a long contract. After a few weeks we had the usual chat about provision of working materials for the following week, on conclusion our employer told us he appreciated the quality work 'thank you'

 

Rather to my surprise my mate pipes up

 

"I once saw a dog that was fed on thankyous - it died"

 

To his credit the employer took it in his stride disappeared and returned with cheque book

 

Moral of the story - if you want to see a nice 'thank you wai' pay a bit extra or pay well, my wife handles payments, I rarely handle money, but if I am around when payment is made usually also receive a wai

 

In our family 20 baht for the children will bring a hurried wai before rushing off to the shop to spend at the local shop ????

 

Which brings an interesting question, would you expect your wife to wai you? I don't

Edited April 11, 2020 by 473geo

[moe666]

This has been a topic here over the years as well as the one about Thais never laff, and the one that they do not work. The same old verbage to say that Thais are not good enough because they do not say thank you 40 times a day or what ever else people dream up to knock down Thais even the ones we are married to.

[ben2talk]

I guess some people are like that, but not many that I met have been...

 

My experience is that most people do thank verbally, sometimes genuinely and sometimes simply as an encouragement for more of the same kind of behaviour - as well as 'thanks to god, karma, or buddha...

[Elizway]

On 4/11/2020 at 8:18 AM, ChipButty said:

I noticed years ago they never say sorry or excuse me, 

I was actually going to mention sorry too. Very true from my experience as well. 

[GreasyFingers]

Probably the best thing that I taught my wife. She says 'thank you' for everything I do for her, even little things when it is not really necessary.

I do the same for her.

[Matzzon]

Yes, it´s only you.

[Elizway]

On 4/11/2020 at 11:04 AM, robblok said:

Do you thank her for cleaning and cooking ? If not why do you expect her to thank you ?

 

Always so one sided on Thaivisa. 

 

I have been thanked often by Thai woman also in longer relations. I guess it depends on the person.

Matter of fact, i don't...anymore. Wanna know why? It's because I feel that she feels uncomfortable when I say thank you. It's like she doesn't know what to do with it and makes my gesture feel awkward. I've never in my life had to think or notice how my thank you is recived until I got with a Thai woman. 

 

Another thing is praise. Where it is considered a motivator when given to me...to her, I could swear it upsets her. 

 

 

[Misab]

No, most don't thank you, but they will expect more and it will never be enough.

then there are the few, they say thank you.

[habuspasha]

On 4/11/2020 at 3:29 AM, moe666 said:

This has been a topic here over the years as well as the one about Thais never laff, and the one that they do not work. The same old verbage to say that Thais are not good enough because they do not say thank you 40 times a day or what ever else people dream up to knock down Thais even the ones we are married to.

Making cultural generalizations is tricky but it is not necessarily hostile, or even critical.  Cultures exist and they are not all the same.  You just have to be careful to recognize exceptions and beware of over-generalization.  Also some cultural differences may map along economic, regional, or other non-national lines.  I remember for instance an Egyptian friend telling me that when he grew up in communal Alexandria in the '50s no one would say "thank you" because it would indicate the end of a transaction rather than natural communal behavior.  He thought it is modern commercial societies that insist on "please" and "thank you" because the true feeling of reciprocity has been replaced by rote signs of politeness.  Maybe politeness is, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "virtue gone to seed."

My Other says she believes that falang care more for "thank you" than Thais and that we say it more often.  She rarely says thank you, but she says it with feeling when I regularly send money or give her a present (not surprising) and often after sex (for which I have never been thanked before).

[NoshowJones]

On 4/11/2020 at 5:12 AM, timendres said:

My girlfriend said thank you many times. Even after years together.

And my ex-wife still says thank you to this day.

Thank you was the first words my GF now wife, said to me when we first met, after

I told her she was beautiful.

[habuspasha]

2 hours ago, possum1931 said:

Thank you was the first words my GF now wife, said to me when we first met, after

I told her she was beautiful.

Thanks for reminding me.  That is the other time my Other says "thank you."  Almost every day I tell her how beautiful she is and she smiles and says "I know that.  Thank you."

[BritManToo]

As long as they keep saying "Yes", I'm not all that bothered about them saying "Thank you".

[BritManToo]

On 4/11/2020 at 2:19 PM, 473geo said:

Which brings an interesting question, would you expect your wife to wai you? I don't

 

If I provide, they wai.

Edited April 13, 2020 by BritManToo

[473geo]

24 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

 

If I provide, they wai.

There is no, I, in my marriage

[GinBoy2]

To turn it around a bit.

 

I think in most western cultures we have a tendency to over use 'Thank You'

 

We'll say say Thank You for even the most mundane things, that probably most cultures just assume just should be happening.

 

It's a little like the British, and this always makes me smile. You bump into them, and they'll say 'Sorry'.

 

So, I wouldn't read too much into a Thai not saying "Thank You" enough, just another one of the vagaries of human societies

Edited April 14, 2020 by GinBoy2

[transam]

13 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

To turn it around a bit.

 

I think in most western cultures we have a tendency to over use 'Thank You'

 

We'll say say Thank You for even the most mundane things, that probably most cultures just assume just should be happening.

 

It's a little like the British, and this always makes me smile. You bump into them, and they'll say 'Sorry'.

 

So, I wouldn't read too much into a Thai not saying "Thank You" enough, just another one of the vagaries of human societies

I was brought up the "Thank You" way, something to do with manners and being respectful...????

Many years back I asked Mrs.Trans about the "thank you" thing, she said, when you buy something you are giving/handing over money, so they should thank you for giving them money..????

[GinBoy2]

1 minute ago, transam said:

I was brought up the "Thank You" way, something to do with manners and being respectful...????

Many years back I asked Mrs.Trans about the "thank you" thing, she said, when you buy something you are giving/handing over money, so they should thank you for giving them money..????

Clearly Mrs T is a wise woman, and I think makes my point exactly

[transam]

3 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

Clearly Mrs T is a wise woman, and I think makes my point exactly

Not really, she never thanks me when I hand over money....????

[Mavideol]

On 4/11/2020 at 6:11 AM, Canuck1966 said:

One thing people don't get is this:

They don't thank you, they thank Buddha

When you come along the girl believes that Buddha has facilitated the whole thing and you are just the vehicle it arrives in.

They have been praying since kids and you are the fruits of their labour

Remember that and the mindset behind it and you won't go far wrong

so to understand you correctly, Buddha told them the walking ATM was coming 555

[GinBoy2]

17 minutes ago, transam said:

Not really, she never thanks me when I hand over money....????

Well that particular trait might well be found in females across the planet lol