Not just Arab Parents with Kids, but a lot of parents don't seem to be able to keep their kids quietly occupied - all nationalities - but the Arabs do kind of take it to a new level sometimes. People always moan about kids on planes. But really - in all the flights I’ve taken, it’s rarely the kid that’s the problem. It’s the parents. A well travelled kid with parents who actually parent is usually fine. When my son was little I had a system. I told him the pilot could see the cabin through cameras in the ceiling. Every now and then I’d have a very serious fake phone call with the cockpit. ... “Hi captain… yes… he’s behaving very well… yes I’ll let him know you’re happy.” Worked a treat. Anyway - actual pet hates. The seat recliner slammers. The plane reaches cruise and BANG the seat comes flying back like it’s been shot by a sniper. Yes yes, it’s their right to recline. But maybe just a quick glance behind first? Just to check you’re not about to crush my laptop or break my kneecaps. Then the people who leap up the moment the plane stops at the gate. Doors still closed. Jet bridge not attached. Nobody going anywhere. But half the plane suddenly stands like they’ve <deleted> themselves. Once I actually had an Indonesian lady basically land on my lap because she was trying to climb over me to get to the aisle. We ended up chatting for a bit which was nice… but that’s really not the point. Baggage carousel huggers are another strange tribe. Instead of standing back they crowd the belt like its the last flight out of Dubai before air-space closes again - its as if they think their suitcase is going to escape. Also the geniuses who put their carry-on anywhere except above their own seat. Six rows behind. Opposite side. Then when the plane lands they fight upstream through the aisle. Bus gates deserve special mention. Absolute misery. Hot bus. Sweaty people. Doors open while everyone waits for the last 4 passengers who were buying Toblerone. Meanwhile the aircraft door is open to the heat and humidity and the cabin slowly turns into a greenhouse. Then you’ve got the crop dusters. Those disgusting pigs who walk slowly down the aisle farting like they’re marking territory. And the snorers. I once had a bloke snoring so loudly he kept me awake. Finally - economy seats. Who designs these things? After about six hours my backside feels like its been sitting on a concrete paving slab. I have to start shifting around like a skeeting dog.
