"No matter which social class you marry into, the chances are you will be asked outright for money or asked to enter into a "risk free, sure deal". I would like to know what you say or do and how successful you are with your approach."

It is common all over Thailand for people to lend and borrow money privately, most make a % return on the lending and others just do it to help out. In my experience there are no hard and fast rules. If you like and trust the person and you have the money, give it but don’t coma cryin if you don’t get it back! If you can’t afford to lose the money then don’t lend it.

I’ve lent both foreigners and Thais money and more often that not it’s the foreigners that you have to watch. What I usually do is ask for some security and if the money doesn’t come back when agreed, I don’t wait around to cash the item in.

There are plenty of poor countries with few prostitutes.

And in Tokyo, there's plenty of western women, from USA, UK, Canada, NZ, Australia, Italy, France, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, Sweden Denmark....................oh, I don't need to list every first world country.

And These women have a good educational system, pensions for their partents, social security etc....

Yet they still come to Japan.

Hey good luck to them, most of the Farang in Thailand just cannot aford Japanese prices.............

Hey guy's, how about Japanese Girl, 18, Schoolgirl Uniform, loose white socks , 100,000 yen. = 28,000 Baht. And that's not for a long time.

You can buy a hatori Hanzo sword for less than that.

GoGo is lethal in her schoolgirl uniform with a sword.

For so many people who don't patronise or condone the sex trade there's a hel_l of a lot of preoccupation with it on this board.

The facts are staring you in the face and they won't be changed by discussion.

Haven't you heard? - SEX SELLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it's one of the few professions that doesn't demand special training or physical strength.

Forget moralising, condemnation, sympathy, concern; they won't work.

The trade existed long before any of us touched down there and will be there long after we're gone.

Get over it.

This topic has put a song on my brain all day.

I want money .. that' what I want...

Who sung it, can't remember.

This topic has put a song on my brain all day.

I want money .. that' what I want...

Who sung it, can't remember.

I don't know who sings that song, but how about:

"I love you

You pay my rent"

by the Pet Shop Boys?

yay i love that song!

The best things in life are free

But you can keep them for the birds and bees

Now give me money

That's what I want

That's what I want, yeah

That's what I want

You're lovin' gives me a thrill

But you're lovin' don't pay my bills

Now give me money

That's what I want

That's what I want, yeah

That's what I want

The Beatles.....I think they got some money in the end.

I just found it; it was the Flying Lizards!

Bottom line is, the girls are there to make money. They know what risks their job has and they do it anyways. What are you going to do about it?

Dear Rainman,

have you ever dealt with the public through your work?

I worked in tech support when I was in high school. My job was helping people connect to the internet. Most customers were ok, but some were jerks. Some of them were rude, pushy, stupid, some wanted to yell, some needed a therapist more than they needed help connecting to the internet. Was it my job to take abuse from them, just because I was paid to be there? No. (Personally, I stuck the wacko ones on hold and went to have coffee. Mai pen rai is alive and well, even in the Western world. )

Are your boss, clients, customers entitled to treat you however they want because you're being paid to be there? They can expect for you to carry out the work you're being paid for, but most of us don't leave our right to dignity at the door when we step into work.

Why is it any different for these women?

This topic has put a song on my brain all day.

I want money .. that' what I want...

Who sung it, can't remember.

I don't know who sings that song, but how about:

"I love you

You pay my rent"

by the Pet Shop Boys?

For me, "Hey Big Spender" comes to mind.

My job was helping people connect to the internet. Most customers were ok, but some were jerks. Some of them were rude, pushy, stupid, some wanted to yell, some needed a therapist more than they needed help connecting to the internet. Was it my job to take abuse from them, just because I was paid to be there?

No, but you and thousands of other people were still or are still working in tech support. I'm not supporting violence, but I'm just saying it exists in every culture or industry, no matter if Thai or Farang. If a customer in Canada is being abusive to a support technician doesn't automatically make all Canadians bad people. Just like a Thai bargirl 'draining' a customer of all their cash doesn't make all Thais bad people.

So really, this thread is pointless.

Many farang/Thai relationships begin with the man paying the woman for sex, company or whatever.

We initiated this industry and the people there simply refined it.

Really? You sure about that?

That "industry" is as old as civilization itself, and I don't think that westerners introduced it to the Thais (in fact, I'm sure they didn't).

Are your boss, clients, customers entitled to treat you however they want because you're being paid to be there? They can expect for you to carry out the work you're being paid for, but most of us don't leave our right to dignity at the door when we step into work.

Why is it any different for these women?

Because in the sex industry the loss of dignity is the price paid by both the client and vendor.

As for the OP, the question requires an agreement to a generalization that is certainly untrue for many. I don't get asked for money. Right now my mother in law has a painful lung condition and is in the hospital, My father in law is suffering from an annual relapse of malaria. And right now they are concerned about me because I have a cold.

Sorry I don't fit your profile VF. I wish they would ask sometimes.

I had a good Thai friend 25 years ago who asked me to loan him $1000.

Later, He was either unable or unwilling to repay the debt.

Anyway it spoiled our relationship and even though I bore no resentment, it made it difficult for us to get together socially knowing that the unpaid debt was still there.

If asked again, I would say

"I value our relationship more than anything else. If I loan you money it could hurt that relationship and I don't want to risk that. "

For me, "Hey Big Spender" comes to mind.

Shirley Bassey, jeeeez gwertz, now you're showing your age................

Are your boss, clients, customers entitled to treat you however they want because you're being paid to be there? They can expect for you to carry out the work you're being paid for, but most of us don't leave our right to dignity at the door when we step into work.

Why is it any different for these women?

Because in the sex industry the loss of dignity is the price paid by both the client and vendor.

Call me idealistic, but I don't see why this is inherently the case, both for the client and the seller. I honestly don't get why the whole deal has to be disrespectful and seedy. Sure, prostitution is the commodification of something that we think should be free, but so is -- say -- therapy, where you pay a therapist to listen to you like a friend would.

My friend put herself through university by stripping. We talked about her job sometimes. She said that guys looked down on her for being a stripper, while they kept paying for dances. But doesn't it say something interesting about how these men viewed their own sexual desire? How much respect can you have for your own sexuality if you think it makes someone less than human to give you what you want?

For me, "Hey Big Spender" comes to mind.

Shirley Bassey, jeeeez gwertz, now you're showing your age................

Shirley McClaine actually, from a musical.

But you're right about my age, I can even remember Shirley Bassey's first hit!

Anyway if you know the lyrics, it says all about the current subject.

A good second is "Sweet Painted Lady" by Elton John.

Are your boss, clients, customers entitled to treat you however they want because you're being paid to be there? They can expect for you to carry out the work you're being paid for, but most of us don't leave our right to dignity at the door when we step into work.

Why is it any different for these women?

Because in the sex industry the loss of dignity is the price paid by both the client and vendor.

Call me idealistic, but I don't see why this is inherently the case, both for the client and the seller. I honestly don't get why the whole deal has to be disrespectful and seedy. Sure, prostitution is the commodification of something that we think should be free, but so is -- say -- therapy, where you pay a therapist to listen to you like a friend would.

My friend put herself through university by stripping. We talked about her job sometimes. She said that guys looked down on her for being a stripper, while they kept paying for dances. But doesn't it say something interesting about how these men viewed their own sexual desire? How much respect can you have for your own sexuality if you think it makes someone less than human to give you what you want?

I would like to expand on this but due to forum rules.....

I am very happy to see such understanding people like you. Your thai boy friend has won a lottery!

Take good care of yourself! You are precious!

Are your boss, clients, customers entitled to treat you however they want because you're being paid to be there? They can expect for you to carry out the work you're being paid for, but most of us don't leave our right to dignity at the door when we step into work.

Why is it any different for these women?

As for the OP, the question requires an agreement to a generalization that is certainly untrue for many. I don't get asked for money. Right now my mother in law has a painful lung condition and is in the hospital, My father in law is suffering from an annual relapse of malaria. And right now they are concerned about me because I have a cold.

Sorry I don't fit your profile VF. I wish they would ask sometimes.

Good for you. You are one of the fortunate ones.

Many people, if they stay here long enough, will get a request for money. This thread might give them an idea or two about how to deal with it. Some of the advise has been very good and some completely worthless.

You obviously have no need of any advise on this subject. That doesn't mean others are without need of advise.

Many people, if they stay here long enough, will get a request for money.

let's face it. this problem is not limited to Thailand. if you have "a bit" more money than your average "combattants" the request for money may surface at any point and time on this planet.

My friend put herself through university by stripping. We talked about her job sometimes. She said that guys looked down on her for being a stripper, while they kept paying for dances. But doesn't it say something interesting about how these men viewed their own sexual desire? How much respect can you have for your own sexuality if you think it makes someone less than human to give you what you want?

Canadiangirl - interesting post. Indeed, what a strange world where people will pay someone to take part in an act of mutual dehumanization.

Stripping, though, requires far less detachment than intimate sexual contact. Psychologically, it is the act of detachment that does much of the damage to prostitutes.

Your friend probably also had quite a few more choices & more knowledge of real power of other kinds than most prostitutes.

Would your friend have agreed to sex for money ? If not, why not ? If yes, how much cash would it have taken ?

Many people, if they stay here long enough, will get a request for money.

let's face it. this problem is not limited to Thailand. if you have "a bit" more money than your average "combattants" the request for money may surface at any point and time on this planet.

no no no!!! no one wants your money in farangland!

Many people, if they stay here long enough, will get a request for money.

let's face it. this problem is not limited to Thailand. if you have "a bit" more money than your average "combattants" the request for money may surface at any point and time on this planet.

Point taken.

I must have missed an important point on my way through life.

I always thought money had to be earned.

That's how I've paid my way through life up to now.

Now I'm learning people give money away in LOS.

I'll be in Phuket in September - is there by any chance a handout point in Patong?

I must have missed an important point on my way through life.

I always thought money had to be earned.

That's how I've paid my way through life up to now.

Now I'm learning people give money away in LOS.

I'll be in Phuket in September - is there by any chance a handout point in Patong?

Ooo I will be there then also, any chance we can start a queue if you find where its being handed out ?

NEVER let anyone borrow money from you, you can only loose!

My friend put herself through university by stripping. We talked about her job sometimes. She said that guys looked down on her for being a stripper, while they kept paying for dances. But doesn't it say something interesting about how these men viewed their own sexual desire? How much respect can you have for your own sexuality if you think it makes someone less than human to give you what you want?

I would like to expand on this but due to forum rules.....

I am very happy to see such understanding people like you. Your thai boy friend has won a lottery!

Take good care of yourself! You are precious!

Woo! At the moment I don't have a boyfriend, Thai or otherwise, but I'll be sure to let him know once he arrives on the scene that he "has won a lottery!"

I hope you weren't being sarcastic, but hey, whatever.

I've given a decent amount of money to my in laws and never felt like I was taken advantage of. I've built them a home and pay for her sister's kids school expenses. She has a large family and all have the ability to support themselves. I make a point never to give money unless I feel it will better their situation. It is my money so I decide what is important.

One of her sisters likes to gamble and continuously asks to borrow money. I've never given her anything, unless she is working, and even then I've only given very little. In the long run, I think it would only hurt her. Handouts rarely work; the US welfare system has done nothing to help the poor.

The house her family owned was a dump and was void of the basic facilities. Their new home isn't extravagant, but it meets their needs. Everyday I feel good about her sister's kids coming home to a home they are proud to have.

It's a little selfish, but feeling good about myself is probably the reason I help financially. The key is not to send money with the blind faith it will improve the in laws' life. If you give them 40k baht and six months later they have nothing to show for it, why do it.

My friend put herself through university by stripping. We talked about her job sometimes. She said that guys looked down on her for being a stripper, while they kept paying for dances. But doesn't it say something interesting about how these men viewed their own sexual desire? How much respect can you have for your own sexuality if you think it makes someone less than human to give you what you want?

I would like to expand on this but due to forum rules.....

I am very happy to see such understanding people like you. Your thai boy friend has won a lottery!

Take good care of yourself! You are precious!

Woo! At the moment I don't have a boyfriend, Thai or otherwise, but I'll be sure to let him know once he arrives on the scene that he "has won a lottery!"

I hope you weren't being sarcastic, but hey, whatever.

No I wasn't being sarcastic at all! I meant it!

I looked back into the ladies forum and realized I have misunderstood you for being CanadianGirl2 who said she had problems with her thai bf's parents.