THE WEEK THAT WAS Lockdown birthday! A trip down memory lane as Rooster gets his bus pass

[rooster59]

 

Today I reach what for many people is a significant milestone; I’m 60.

 

Mrs R has been winding me up about getting a pass for the BTS.

 

I’ll be celebrating by taking my daughters - aged five and eight - on a hair-raising bike ride down to the park and back. If the cops stop me for being out I’ll explain in my best Thai that I’m off to get vaccinated at Bang Sue Central Station. 

 

“With two little children at 140 km an hour, sir?”

 

“Yes, officer, the wife just left me and you know how hard it is to get childcare these days”. 

 

I’ve never let Thai language get in the way of a good lie.  

 

To mark the occasion - that in all likelihood will be spent in lockdown isolation - I’ve come up with some milestones since 1961. 

 

So if you’re the sort that demands news and doesn’t appreciate a column with personal reflections, go straight to comments where you’ll find many like minded people to complain with. 

 

For those of you who might be of a similar age who fancy a bit of nostalgia or younger ones who might like to learn something about an alternative Thai life, read on!

 

If you do, why not relate some of your own memories below.

 

I was born in the back bedroom of  my parent’s house in Beckenham, Kent. My dad bought the four bedroom property for 30,000 quid around 1960 (after he died in 2004 we sold it for 417,000). I was the fifth of six kids.

 

My earliest memory was Listen with Mother on the radio and Andy Pandy on the black and white TV. We got color in 1977 to help take our minds off mum who had just died so tragically young from bowel cancer. 

 

Childhood was very happy, characterized by lots of playing in the woods, bicycling and kicking footballs into my father’s roses. My first real strong memory is of England losing to Brazil in Mexico City then watching in horror as a 2-0 lead against the West Germans ended in a 2-3 quarter final defeat. The first of many disappointments.

 

There were two memorable days before I was 20. The first was leaving secondary school, a place I loathed. I didn’t bother to go in on the last day and missed the final assembly in which another boy put a CCF armoury thunderflash under the stage. 

 

The other was when I was nineteen and someone I’d never met in Rue Saint Denis beckoned me over; but the less said about that the better.

 

Despite gardening and decorating jobs at 50p an hour through late childhood, I started my first real job as a cub reporter in Croydon the week after leaving school. 

 

On my first day my new colleagues took me for a liquid lunch to the Purley Arms. The crusty hacks liked me because I wasn’t a graduate and only got an E in my business studies A-level. 

 

Proving my manhood I sank four pints of Stella then promptly returned to the office and threw up my Ploughman’s Salad in the loos. Despite staggering back into the newsroom my female dragon of a boss who terrified me, sent me off to cover my first Golden Wedding. 

 

Mr and Mrs Martin were lovely and told me that the recipe for a happy marriage was “none of that foreign food”.

 

My first air flight in 1980 was to Paris for the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe with a party of stockbrokers organised by Coral the bookmakers. One guy bet 500 pounds that his suitcase would get to the carousel first. 

 

This was the big leagues. Unfortunately I had no money left to put on my Arc selection Detroit due to that pesky minx in the St Denis shadows. C’est la vie.

 

In 1982 I quit my job and flew one-way to Delhi on Ariana with a stop in Kabul. Soviet military craft reminded us why Afghanistan was off limits at that time. 

 

Highlights in India were being asked for our autographs at the final cricket test in Kanpur and sampling an aromatic black substance from Manali. 

 

My first day in Thailand was in April 1982. I remember reading about the Falklands War at a beach hut on Chaweng then having a 50 baht mushroom omelette called “No Name” on the menu. 

 

The rest of the day I can recall in the sharpest detail to this day despite it being a bit of a blur at the time. 

 

I came and went to Thailand for the next few years before arriving with 4,000 Aussie dollars in 1985 and making my best ever investment. 

 

I signed up and completed several months of the “Natural Approach”, learning Thai at AUA in Ratdamri Road. The American ajarn Mr Brown told us not to try to speak, just listen and soak it up.

 

I cheated at night with a very helpful Thai lady I met in the street in Soi Sribumphen. I asked “pai nai?” and she replied “pay gap khun”. 

 

My first Thai job arrived immediately at Brit-Am academy English language school in Silom. It was the sweetest 2,000 baht for a week’s toil that I have ever earned. 

 

I celebrated with a “baen” of Mekhong made tolerable with two or three Lipo’s that had prizes in the lids. 

 

I taught myself to read and write Thai with a Linguaphone book and within six months could write a postcard. 

 

My visas were renewed either by going to Padang Besar or the Thai embassy in Penang. I favored the bus to Hat Yai, diesel taxi thereafter. Each trip came after getting tax clearance at Banglamphu.

 

In 1986 I had a close shave with Immigration. A disgruntled wife of an Australian at another language school had reported me for working illegally but a guy whose name was very close to my own was arrested and locked up in Suan Phlu detention instead. (He’s a member on ASEAN NOW and these days a Thai citizen).

 

He had no passport and was deported while muggins got off scot free. I took my friend's teaching hours and set up home with an English dentist in a rundown but quaint wooden house over a bit of duckweed surfaced klong in Thong Lo. 

 

When HIS disgruntled girlfriend threatened to plant heroin in the rafters we relocated to an Indian owned block in Soi 39. The rent was 2,750 baht a month but I was earning 35K.

 

My first health scare in Bangkok was an amoebic liver abscess that developed after some dodgy Hoi Thot (mussel omelette). The doctor at St Louis said it was lucky my “tap” hadn't burst. 

 

Following a romantic disappointment with a lady from Ranong in 1988 I had a brief sojourn in Copacabana returning for the Cup Final when Liverpool lost to Wimbledon. 

 

On the same day I met my first Thai wife, twelve years my senior, at the Peppermint in Patpong. We married in 1990 principally as I’d tired of those three monthly visa runs. We tied the knot in Bang Rak (The District of Love) and had a reception for two in Superstar after a burger at McDonald's. 

 

Children followed in 1992 and 1994.

 

In 1989 I bought my first bike for 39,000 baht - a yellow Honda MTX 125cc  that I sold the next year and bought a “made from old parts” Honda Rebel 250. Many “steeds” followed, including a Steed. 

 

I bought my first car in 1997, a Toyota Soluna for 373,000 baht. A mate drove it out of the showroom as I had no idea about the pedals. 

 

I got bike and car licenses on the same day in 1998 which meant that “conversations” with plod at roadside checkpoints became a little easier. 

 

In 1994 I got a job as Thai teacher at Bangkok Patana School after moving  to Soi Lasalle. My first ever work permit said I taught maths as for some strange reason Thai teaching seemed to be reserved for Thais. 

 

When the education minister came visiting I made myself scarce. In 1998 a very plummy and influential man called Stuart Morris hired me for a new school called Harrow International. He kindly tripled my salary. 

 

At the interview he only asked me about Scrabble. After buying a copy of the Official Scrabble Players’ Dictionary at Asia Books near Villa I rose to represent Thailand in international competition becoming world ranked 19th in 1996 and champion of Asia in 1998. I still play five or six practice  games a day in 2021. 

 

Harrow was a 15 year blast that ended in 2013 with a two year “retirement” before I started work at Thaivisa as a translator in 2016. 

 

I never divorced but my marriage disintegrated and I got hitched according to Buddhist tradition with the current Mrs Rooster, 15 years my junior, in 2004 and have lived with her in Ratchayothin ever since. I waited until my first kids had grown up before having a second brood. 

 

Apart from having a son who followed me in supporting Spurs and a daughter who got a master’s degree from Oxford, one of the happiest and proudest moments was during the devastating floods that hit Bangkok and surrounding areas in 2011. 

 

With missus number two we went in search of missus number one in Pathum Thani. We rowed in and found her happy to see us on the top floor of her now island house, living with her dog.

 

I then took both wives for a row in ten feet deep water around the estate, actually called The Lagoon. They both complained about my appalling rowing skills. 

 

That house was the first one I’d bought in 1999. It cost me all my savings and I was obliged to sign a paper saying it was now my wife’s and I had nothing to do with it! 

 

Since then I bought four condos (in my own name) and flipped several others. I built a large house for my second wife’s family about ten years ago fulfilling a promise I made at my wedding. 

 

I became a resident of Thailand in 2003 after collecting a mountain of paperwork and paying 20,000 baht (just in time as Mr Thaksin raised the prices thereafter). 

 

I never bothered with citizenship as the right of abode was what I was after rather than having another nationality. Besides, I consider myself British and my Thai friends consider me Thai. 

 

In conclusion, it’s been an interesting and varied life full of the ups and downs we all experience no matter where we live or who we are.

 

In preparation for writing this I asked a friend’s 13 year old daughter what was the biggest event of her young life explaining I was too young to remember JFK but mine was 9/11. 

 

“Duh” she said with that scornful look like I was the oldest and most decrepit granddad she’d ever seen.

 

“Covid, of course”.

 

Sadly, she was absolutely right.  

 

Nothing in our lives could have prepared us for this; in Thailand, especially Bangkok, in a truncated Week That Was due to my own ramblings, things got worse and worse. 

 

Daily infections were up to nearly 15,000 at the time of writing with 100 plus deaths a day. 

 

Foreigners over 75 were vaccinated at Bang Sue Grand Central Station and Rooster managed to register as a 60 year old for Astra Zeneca

 

A BBC story - summed up by Rooster - slammed the government for its Covid-19 record.

 

Then Prayut said what a wonderful job he was doing on Facebook and managed to blame his compatriots in his inimitable fashion.

 

Labour minister Suchart then claimed that the Thai government was not discriminatory.

 

Several people keeled over and died on the streets and sidewalks of the capital, at least two with the dreaded lurgy. 

 

Much of the country was in lockdown and the Bangkok roads were quieter than Songkran except for the ubiquitous “Grabus Deliverus Motorcycus”, a noisy insect. 

 

Some of the  Phuket Sandbox tourists had to bus to Suwannaphum (my spelling) after domestic flights to deep red zones were cancelled for two weeks. 

 

More restaurants closed in Pattaya and officials in Hua Hin doubted they’d be able to open to foreign tourists by October 1st.

 

The Buriram Moto GP was cancelled again. 

 

Biggest stink was a Food Panda delivery guy who lost his job after mischief at the anti-government protests. Irate netizens called for a boycott and business rivals stepped into the void. 

 

In crime news the callous Lopburi shooter, a school director, from February last year had his death sentence upheld while a hill tribe man who buried his building contractor boss under a Taling Chan house in concrete, was found wandering in his homeland of Doi Tung soon after. 

 

They always return home, don’t they?

 

Finally, the pawnshop owners surprisingly said that business was dire. 

 

They explained the reason.

 

Many Thais had nothing left to pawn.

 

Rooster 

 

-- © Copyright ASEAN NOW 2021-07-25

 

[JomtienRay]

Thanks Rooster.. I enjoy your column every Sunday..????????????

[Mark mark]

Thanks for the Recollections Rooster ... ... And Knowledge. ....

 

I got to Thailand in later 1983, so you beat me by a year almost ... and by almost 6 yeas in Age ... (I am 65 now) ...

 

So Yes you started near Soi Nam Duthi ? ... My Wife says that when she was young, she worked on a building sight on the second floor, on that street, some years even before that I think ? ... and she said that the Thai laborer's all used to line up along the edge of it when the early Foreign back packer couples would walk past ! ... And the Thais all smiled and waved ! ... And happily should at them in Thai !!! ... and the couples would be enthralled, ... smiling and waving back .... and taking Photos of all of the cute people ... Only they probably did not realize that the Thais were actually shouting ... "I bet that he has got a Big Dick" !!! .... Still you would have understood that Rooster, and Thanks. ...

 

(Totally Unconnected and please remove if necessary) ... SBS had a 2 hour Docko on Earnest Hemingway's early life last night !!! ... Like he did it in Paris ... and far enough, on the other side I think ... for an American also ... and well what ever .... What ever the reality of his life ??  ... What ! a Great Writer !!! ... ... like, Great, Poignant Brevity !!! Discovered !!!)

[Marpa47]

Happy 60’th Birthday.  In the Chinese calendar that’s five cycles of the twelve animals and a very big deal.  Still enjoying your Sunday articles immensely and learning a lot from them, ( which I promptly forgot LOL). 

 

Now enjoying your news from Bangkok since June 10’th.  
 

The Mrs. and I shook the heels of our sandals of the dust of NYC in the aftermath of random attacks on ( usually elderly and / or helpless and always vulnerable), Asians.  The shooting directly beneath our , thankfully 15’th floor, window culminating in a police stand-off with most of the rowdy. group dissolved into the poorly lit and even more poorly secured apartment complex grounds was just one among many red flags.   Thankfully we weathered all the ‘close encounters’ without damage.  But just stepping out of the apartment door had become something of an adventure with homeless ranging unchecked in stairwells and even one (known to us) attempted push-in robbery right next door.  Never mind taking the subway.  Homeless setting up house with an always distinctive odor, or wandering maskless while begging from the ones forced to ride mass transit while struggling to make a living.  
 

Dirt bikes loudly droning up and down the main drag, dodging bicycles, then scooters and now even motorcycles riding up on the sidewalk.  And where is law enforcement?

 

The  NYC NYPD has had officers mass exiting since the harsh response to the harsh arrest tactics of this august branch of, as you say, Plod.  Wonder what will become of all the surplus military gear dumped on police departments around the 50 States?   Not all of it could have been snatched up by the good ol’ boys , et al, as in evidence of that brandished on Jan. 6 and in other ‘patriotic’ demonstrations around the country in the years leading up to that culminating fiasco.  
 

… and just got out before the next wave of Delta or Lambda or whatever Greek letter of the alphabet comes next, threatening to engulf the beleaguered and financially hemorrhaging healthcare system.  And the anti-vaccers, and the ones making a living out of perpetuating the disinformation.  And those who cannot see how the science has been usurped by politics.  Little did we suspect the dire situation awaiting us here.  
 

yet with the current situation here  — namely the non-lockdown, the nonexistent vaccines, the fake vaccines from the 2000 pound gorilla in the room, ( We’re Pfizer’ed before we left, thank you very much )  the agonizing prospect of so many here in very desperate need —  all things considered, I’d rather be in Bangkok. 
 

ever since arriving and out of quarantine we’ve just been so happy and relieved just to be among generally smiling, (under the masks), and friendly faces, in weather that is great, food that is great and in a great condo with great staff and great security.
 

At 73 (wife who’d stood by me c. 30 years about the same), it was time to retire.  The love and enthusiasm for working as a respiratory therapist had died with the inundation from the first C wave in NYC.  Left behind friends that I’ll never forget.  Many fond memories.  And who knows, maybe some will join us.  
 

Over to you, dear Rooster. 

Edited July 25, 2021 by Marpa47

[Andycoops]

I had to smile at the encounter in St. Denis as I had a similar one myself a couple of years earlier around the Quartier Pigalle of Moulin Rouge fame.

On the football front, as a Wimbledon supporter I would have preferred your wording to have been 'when Wimbledon beat Liverpool'.

Happy birthday.

[PaDavid]

Happy birthday Rooster. I had my 70th and 75th birthdays in Thailand. I can’t say I celebrated either since both bore little difference to any of the other mainly enjoyable days I’ve passed here. 
 

My advice is to work out how to get yourself back to Loei where you’ll be able to celebrate properly - though you might need to don a face mask if plod comes around. 

[Mark mark]

2 hours ago, Marpa47 said:

...  "But just stepping out of the apartment door had become something of an adventure with homeless ranging unchecked in stairwells and even one (known to us) attempted push-in robbery right next door.  Never mind taking the subway.  Homeless setting up house with an always distinctive odor, or wandering maskless while begging from the ones forced to ride mass transit while struggling to make a living. "
 

 

Yes Happy Birthday Rooster !!! And thanks again for a very good forum !!!

 

... And WOW !!! Thanks GREATLY !!! Hard Bitten New Yorker !!! ... Thanks ! - New York, ? Does have that sort of a Reputation though !!! ... But well, and quite Honestly, you make it sound that the place (And Country ?) ... Really IS just about at the end of it's sensibility !!! ???  ...

 

... So I now will no longer moan about being stuck in Boring old (Still really do not have any CV 19) Adelaide. ... But also with a real-estate boom, ... AND a huge and obvious increase in Homelessness also (I think ?) 

 

... Yes Staying On Topic, (?) ... I think that this problem of the Homelessness IS Really our main Problem through out the whole of the developed world just now ... and that we SHOULD try to do something about it !!!  ... Just in the name of Decency, !!! ... and not any thing to do with Equality, ... like just some where to live, and a door to close !!! FOR EVERY ONE. .... ...  And the system of just capitalizing on others Misfortune, and making huge gains on Real-estate Investments, ... SHOULD be re thought. ... Like not for a so called "State Society", ...  ... BUT just for a More Humane one.

Edited July 25, 2021 by Mark mark
Changed Quoted text Edited

[BusyB]

I too can remember Listen with Mother and Andy Pandy - and Bill and Ben ... 555 ... in a terraced house in Sunderland.

And I got my pensioner's ID card a few weeks ago ... 

Retiring soon and it's all a very odd feeling but I sure feel good.

Mentally I still feel like early 50s in attitudes and interests and plans ... physically I'm still in reasonable shape so fingers crossed I'll hold up for a while before serious decrepitude kicks in.

[Rivertiger]

Like you I am from the UK สุขสันต์วันเกิด. Like your rants, always read.  I first came in 84' loved the excitement, that Thai people always give you.  Wonderful people, I have no words I could express for the current government. Married divorced have a Chinese Thai son in uni uk a wonderful Thai ex mum she just had her first AZ jap.  Nice story have a nice day.

[abrahamzvi]

Happy Birthday and many, many healthy and happy returns of the day, dear friend!

[CaliforniaBrit]

Happy birthday, Rooster! Your weekly column is by far the best feature of Asean Now.                                    Your use of the phrase "the dreaded lurgy", priceless! 

[473geo]

Happy birthday old boy, hopefully many more to come 

[elcaro]

7 hours ago, rooster59 said:

So if you’re the sort that demands news and doesn’t appreciate a column with personal reflections, go straight to comments where you’ll find many like minded people to complain with. 

Haha yea as they do every week. Love the column mate, and happy birthday to you. I'm only in my thirties but have been here for over 10 years. So I am one of the youngsters that enjoys your columns and learns from them. Totally agree regarding the language, I would not have stuck out here as long If I did not speak an read thai.

 

Thanks for your weekly effort and here is to many more years to come.

[Phredd]

Hi Rooster, Long may your chimney smoke. No, I'm an Aussie, my Best Friend is the Scotsman. First time BKK for my 50th. Now 27 years later been here 11 years married to a most wonderful Thai Lady who/whom if not for the Redshirts "playing up" in BKK I would have never met, as my travel friends said let's go elsewhere so we left BKK for Pattaya. It's an ill wind so to speak. All the Best. Phredd

[GarryP]

Great article. Happy Birthday. You beat me by 6 months. Arrived in October 1982. It was either 12 or 13 October. Probably 13th knowing my luck. ???? Wasn't the boss at Brit Am Khun Manit? 

 

Mark mark, I thing you mean soi Ngam Duplee. 

[TPI]

Only 60 years in? Get some time up, you're a tourist....76 for me! I'm jealous of your Thai language!

[Tropicalevo]

Happy Birthday Mr Rooster.

Always good to reminisce.

Those of us that have travelled well and lived overseas always have an interesting tale or two to tell. I enjoyed yours. Thank you.

Live long and prosper. You are a gentleman and a scholar.

OK, a test for the over 70's. Who remembers Four Feather Falls?

 

[khaowong1]

Happy Happy Birthday Rooster..

[Kanada]

Great story…Thank You and Happy Birthday ???? 

[Black Angus]

Happy Birthday  Khun Rooster Your still in nappies Twentyfive more years and you'll have caught up with me. Anyway in the mean time DID YOU KNOW that as you GET OLDER your HEARING an your EYESIGHT begin to FAIL.

       So what do you think of this MUSICAL BIRTHDAY E-MAIL.

By the way I would like to have your advice on a subject   relating to a Thai Lady that worked in the UK who I helped out as I have some of her childhood goods that I saved Sadly she didn't return and I have not been able to contact her with the details I have. Maybe you can help Can e-mail me at [email protected]