GF or Wife

[jerrymahoney]

4 hours ago, Patong2 said:

Good attitude and as we get older and look around us it is amazing how many people are waiting to die.

To heck with that.

Stay reasonably fit, eat reasonably healthy and above all have something to look forward to when you wake up tomorrow.

Still too much to enjoy on this lovely planet

I don't see that persons on here are just waiting-to-die when they discuss the implication of 2 country immigration, citizenship, US social security,  matters of estate, and other issues which are realities you cannot just make for yourself.

[Patong2]

3 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

I don't see that persons on here are just waiting-to-die when they discuss the implication of 2 country immigration, citizenship, US social security,  matters of estate, and other issues which are realities you cannot just make for yourself.

Agree entirely

People who go to Thailand or another country or keep getting out of their comfort zone have a good chance of not only living longer but enjoying life more, in my opinion. seems to be working for both of us.

[Nino3]

On 1/22/2022 at 4:45 PM, itsari said:

A lot of logic in what you say on marriage . 

What if you were to die ? What would your long term girlfriend have to sustain her present standard of living ?

I also point out that a long term girlfriend as you put it has a legal claim to your assets equal to if you were married .

The man stated he would take care of her financially for a time if his decision was to separate.

 

My long term GF thought the same as you regarding legal claim to assets even if not married. I shall point out to you, if there is no legalized marriage documentation then Thai law does not recognize a long term GF as a wife. Her attorney was gracious enough to point this out during her consultation. 

 

 

 

 

[Paulaew]

6 minutes ago, Nino3 said:

My long term GF thought the same as you regarding legal claim to assets even if not married. I shall point out to you, if there is no legalized marriage documentation then Thai law does not recognize a long term GF as a wife. Her attorney was gracious enough to point this out during her consultation. 

Quite correct, there is no concept of common law marriage in Thai law. A couple who live together over an extended period are not considered to be married under law, even if they were married in a Buddhist ceremony. So there is no right to marital property as in a legal marriage that is officially registered.

 

There are hiso's who take advantage of this quirk of Thai law. Yingluck Shinawatra, for example, was not legally married to her "husband", Anusorn Amornchat, so he had no claim to any of the Shinawatra fortune in case of a separation.

 

Paul Laew

[GinBoy2]

On 1/25/2022 at 10:53 AM, habuspasha said:

I would urge you to add two factors to your view of "reality."

One is the degree to which life expectancy has grown over the last 50 years thanks to miracle medicines and biotics, and greater health/nutrition awareness.

Equally important in my mind is an awareness of how we shape our own reality.  I've become particularly aware of how people my age follow an aging script which has them gradually slump over, do less, and imitate their grandfathers.  If you think you only have a few years left and your life in narrowing down, it will.  If you think you're still on the upswing, who's to say you're not.

Come on get real.

 

How many 60-70-80 year old  farangs have you seen slopping around Centan with a couple of rugrats with a woman half, third of their age and thought, that just ain't right.

 

Medical miracles we may have, but in general we don't live much past 80ish, pretty much a bell curve when it comes to life expectancy, regardless of how much wheat germ you consume!

[Nino3]

On 1/22/2022 at 7:38 PM, Isaanlife said:

No sorry. She doesn't love it, that is only you telling yourself she does. No Thai woman wants to have no "Face"

 

If she has a bad temper, well you chose her didn't you?

 

Risk half your stuff? If you have anything worth it at all, you wouldn't have ended up in Thailand.

 

You like your life because you get what you want and you are selfish to do that to her.

 

She probably doesn't have much of a choice because if she did, she wouldn't be with you.

 

You are the control freak. My wife has 100 times more than you will ever have all in her name. 

 

And if she left someday? I wouldn't worry about 1 baht. I would be happy knowing she will be financially secure the rest of her life.

 

I am not to stupid that I cannot make a lot of money back at any age in my life.

 

Maybe that is why I don't worry to act like a man and give my wife the life she deserves.

 

Wow!!! Your posts are based on assumptions with a heavy dose of self righteousness. Assumptions of men, their wives, their families, their morals, ethics and core values of which you know nothing about.

 

I can only assume that any man that has a GF but has not married would be in your eyes the the lowest of all classes lacking in again, morals, ethics and core values. 

 

OneMoreFarang doesn't want to enter into the legally binding agreement of marriage. Simple. As stated, he would take care of his GF financially for a time if he were to make the decision to separate. Monetary amount? Hell, I don't know. He may hand over 300,000.00 baht or 300,000,000.00 baht. You surely don't know either. 

 

Do you reside in Thailand or off in a far away country? If in Thailand, you too, per your assumption, don't have anything of worth or you too would not have ended up in Thailand.

 

Are you assuming that the mans GF is being held as a hostage? Sure seems you are. Again, you know nothing.

 

"My wife has 100 times more than you will ever have all in her name" is a bold statement. My experience is that when people begin speaking like this then they are simply trying to cover the fact that they own assets worth little value. 

 

"You don't love her enough to marry her". I have never been under the impression that one had to be married in order to love the other person, Please explain YOUR logic.

 

"Act like a man and give my wife the life she deserves". Are you implying that OneMoreFarang will only become a man if he marries his long term GF? There's that self righteousness again. And again, you know nothing about the man, his GF or their lives.

 

Before you reply, and that is if you deem it necessary, please understand that I was raised in the South (US), where morals, ethics and values are beaten into you starting at a very young age. Yes ma'am and yes sir are main words in my vocabulary. I was taught to cherish, provide, protect and serve ones wife. Seems to me that OneMore Farang is perhaps doing just that with his GF and simply doesn't want to sign a piece of paper. Don't forget, he has stated that there shall be financial compensation if they were to separate. Truly, how many GF's receive financial compensation after a separation? Yes, please do answer. 

 

 

[habuspasha]

3 hours ago, Patong2 said:

I don't see that persons on here are just waiting-to-die when they discuss the implication of 2 country immigration, citizenship, US social security,  matters of estate, and other issues which are realities you cannot just make for yourself.

I agree entirely.  In fact I thanked posters for their info on immigration and US social security. I didn't suggest that they were  "waiting to die"  or as I actually said, declining as if following a script.

 

When I wrote that we should consider modern life expectancy and our attitudes towards aging when we talk about "realities" of aging, I was responding to GinBoy2 on 1/24 when he posted "looking at how long you will live. 80 is a pretty good innings already. Don't mean this in any way to be mean, but just looking at reality." 

 

I had written:

"I would urge you to add two factors to your view of "reality."

One is the degree to which life expectancy has grown over the last 50 years thanks to miracle medicines and biotics, and greater health/nutrition awareness.

Equally important in my mind is an awareness of how we shape our own reality.  I've become particularly aware of how people my age follow an aging script which has them gradually slump over, do less, and imitate their grandfathers.  If you think you only have a few years left and your life in narrowing down, it will.  If you think you're still on the upswing, who's to say you're not."

[habuspasha]

2 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Come on get real.

 

How many 60-70-80 year old  farangs have you seen slopping around Centan with a couple of rugrats with a woman half, third of their age and thought, that just ain't right.

 

Medical miracles we may have, but in general we don't live much past 80ish, pretty much a bell curve when it comes to life expectancy, regardless of how much wheat germ you consume!

Some of this I've addressed: what's real vs. what's becoming real and what we make real.  I don't understand much of the rest.  The fact that we see elder falang with young wives and children shopping "just ain't right"? according to Thais?, most other shoppers?, You?, Us?, all in god's kingdom?  I detect an ageist prejudice here.  I also did in your 1/24 post when you said you had an opinion about age differences that you didn't state.

 

Finally, the continual relevance of a bell curve does not suggest that everyone isn't living longer.  In any case, we measure populations with pyramids, not bell curves, and they become more rectangular as populations age.

 

 

[jerrymahoney]

Have you seen the topic now at Visa -- Other countries section Anyone get interview for spouse visa to U.S. in 2021/2022?

 

18 months now waiting and nothing. Maybe unlike yourself, he does not make his own reality

[habuspasha]

10 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

Have you seen the topic now at Visa -- Other countries section Anyone get interview for spouse visa to U.S. in 2021/2022?

 

18 months now waiting and nothing. Maybe unlike yourself, he does not make his own reality

No sane person imagines we can will anything to happen.  I just argued that when we talk about facing "reality" we might distinguish between "what's real vs. what's becoming real and what we make real."  Otherwise we are defeatist victims, bound to continually replay the past.

[jerrymahoney]

12 hours ago, habuspasha said:

No sane person imagines we can will anything to happen.  I just argued that when we talk about facing "reality" we might distinguish between "what's real vs. what's becoming real and what we make real."  Otherwise we are defeatist victims, bound to continually replay the past.

Thank you, Tony Robbins.

[PFMills]

On 1/30/2022 at 8:48 PM, Nino3 said:

Wow!!! Your posts are based on assumptions with a heavy dose of self righteousness. Assumptions of men, their wives, their families, their morals, ethics and core values of which you know nothing about.

 

I can only assume that any man that has a GF but has not married would be in your eyes the the lowest of all classes lacking in again, morals, ethics and core values. 

 

OneMoreFarang doesn't want to enter into the legally binding agreement of marriage. Simple. As stated, he would take care of his GF financially for a time if he were to make the decision to separate. Monetary amount? Hell, I don't know. He may hand over 300,000.00 baht or 300,000,000.00 baht. You surely don't know either. 

 

Do you reside in Thailand or off in a far away country? If in Thailand, you too, per your assumption, don't have anything of worth or you too would not have ended up in Thailand.

 

Are you assuming that the mans GF is being held as a hostage? Sure seems you are. Again, you know nothing.

 

"My wife has 100 times more than you will ever have all in her name" is a bold statement. My experience is that when people begin speaking like this then they are simply trying to cover the fact that they own assets worth little value. 

 

"You don't love her enough to marry her". I have never been under the impression that one had to be married in order to love the other person, Please explain YOUR logic.

 

"Act like a man and give my wife the life she deserves". Are you implying that OneMoreFarang will only become a man if he marries his long term GF? There's that self righteousness again. And again, you know nothing about the man, his GF or their lives.

 

Before you reply, and that is if you deem it necessary, please understand that I was raised in the South (US), where morals, ethics and values are beaten into you starting at a very young age. Yes ma'am and yes sir are main words in my vocabulary. I was taught to cherish, provide, protect and serve ones wife. Seems to me that OneMore Farang is perhaps doing just that with his GF and simply doesn't want to sign a piece of paper. Don't forget, he has stated that there shall be financial compensation if they were to separate. Truly, how many GF's receive financial compensation after a separation? Yes, please do answer. 

 

 

You seem to be a little lacking in your understanding of women.  Have you had several marriages or relationships, if so you have learnt nothing! If you don’t love her enough to marry her pretty well confirms it.

 

Also Thai Law, what you have before  you marry is yours. Of course if divorce in another country that does not apply.

 

And how long do you think 1MF would look after his GF after they separate and he meets someone else. 
 

A guy around the corner from us has lived with his ‘wife’ but in law only GF,for many years and they have a twenty four year old daughter. No will, he died, almost no money in this country. She now has nothing but memories. His family took it all, she just got the furniture to sell in their rented house.

 

 

 

 

[habuspasha]

11 hours ago, PFMills said:

A guy around the corner from us has lived with his ‘wife’ but in law only GF,for many years and they have a twenty four year old daughter. No will, he died, almost no money in this country. She now has nothing but memories. His family took it all, she just got the furniture to sell in their rented house.

 

That's a heart-breaking story, but nothing prevents a man from having a will and putting the GF in it.  I have.  Of course he could still die poor.  Marriage adds legal obligations that might over burden either party.  Is mutual aid, sacrifice, or care-giving stronger or more certain when it is obligatory?  Is love stronger?

[thaibeachlovers]

On 1/30/2022 at 2:19 PM, PFMills said:

Says a guy with his head in the sand.  You seem to not have much idea about women. Security, though not at the top is quite high on their list. Out of interest how many divorces have you had.

5555555555555555

You shouldn't make personal statements about people you don't know as it makes you look foolish.

I got divorced in Thailand, and how many times is none of your business.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 1/30/2022 at 5:02 PM, BritManToo said:

....... and men who apologise for women and empower their behaviour ..........

Exactly.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/16/2022 at 2:27 PM, PFMills said:

You seem to be a little lacking in your understanding of women.  Have you had several marriages or relationships, if so you have learnt nothing! If you don’t love her enough to marry her pretty well confirms it.

and you do understand women?

 

IMO marriage is an institution that benefits women, not men, and I scorn it absolutely. I just wish I had understood that before I got married and ruined my remaining life.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 1/31/2022 at 1:48 AM, GinBoy2 said:

Medical miracles we may have, but in general we don't live much past 80ish, pretty much a bell curve when it comes to life expectancy, regardless of how much wheat germ you consume!

I certainly hope you are correct on the 80ish. I've no desire to be condemned to a "rest home".

[thaibeachlovers]

On 1/23/2022 at 3:34 PM, sirineou said:

I always enjoy talking with you????. It is my pleasure , and pleas know that everything I say is an opinion . of which everyone has one. 

Thailand is a community property jurisdiction.:

"Thailand is what is known in legal terms as a “Community Property” jurisdiction. This means that, in general, all assets acquired by either the man or wife during the marriage are considered to be the property of both partners. "

http://www.thailand-family-law-center.com/thailand-marital-property-law/#:~:text=Thailand is what is known,the property of both partners.

 

so i don't think you have to worry about losing anything you already have. Anything you acquire while you are together is only fair that you split 50/50 in the event the marriage does not work out. 

  Everyone is different, so I can only talk  about how it worked for us, but i think some of the same dynamics work for most people

Women crave security, especially Thai women , once they feel comfortable and secure , you would see a different aspect of them and the relationship. I did in outs. 

Initially, when we first got married, my wife was a bit defensive and reserved, but as we settled into our marriage,, got comfortable with each other, and realized that this was for real.  you should se how my wife blossomed, how her confidence grew , how she started singing, and even dancing (something that she never did before) .

I dont think you can have that without the commitment.  If as you said the attitude is that we live longer, and we change , and in a few years when we change we might go our different ways, . you might understand why a pers0n might be a bit more reserved, and defensive. 

Don't be afraid of loss ."Tennyson, said  "'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all " there is safety in a defensive posture, but also compromise. 

Go for it,!! and even if you were to lose a little, so what. it is the price one pays for a better life. IMO. ????

 

LOL. My fiance was lovely and a pleasure to be with. After we got married she changed to someone I didn't want to be with.

I didn't "lose a little", I lost too much and ended up having to leave Thailand, when I had hoped to live there till I died ( of natural causes ).

 

As for commitment; given a high divorce rate that's not a common characteristic of people IMO.

[olfu]

Make prenuptual agreement.

[RafPinto]

On 1/23/2022 at 4:45 AM, steven100 said:

so you're 80,  don't rush into marriage now will ya    '   

Should start quickly to start a family. Maybe lady wants a few babies.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, olfu said:

Make prenuptual agreement.

Are they legal in Thailand?

[BritManToo]

7 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. My fiance was lovely and a pleasure to be with. After we got married she changed to someone I didn't want to be with.

Once you're sworn to give then everything you own ........

Why would you expect them to make any further effort at all?

[BritManToo]

On 2/16/2022 at 8:27 AM, PFMills said:

And how long do you think 1MF would look after his GF after they separate and he meets someone else. 

If she's no longer providing him with sex, why do you think he should keep providing her with money?

[BritManToo]

On 1/30/2022 at 8:48 PM, Nino3 said:

Before you reply, and that is if you deem it necessary, please understand that I was raised in the South (US), where morals, ethics and values are beaten into you starting at a very young age.

Southern morals .............

Someone fought a war with you before you stopped keeping slaves, and even after losing the war you still wanted them segregated.

[Nino3]

11 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Southern morals .............

Someone fought a war with you before you stopped keeping slaves, and even after losing the war you still wanted them segregated.

Slavery was abolished in 1865. My great grandfather landed at Ellis Island in 1923, sometime after what you are referencing. I've been through many family photo albums and I don't recall seeing any family owned slaves. No, my family owned no slaves, we did the work ourselves. 

 

So you are one of those that believe all families in the south once owned slaves. Working with limited capacity you are. What a shame. 

[Adumbration]

Well at least the OP has one thing right.  80 years or older is when I will also consider marriage.

[Alotoftravel]

Can anyone comment how easy or difficult to bring a Thai girlfriend back to the USA . I understand it is difficult unlike a wife which you can bring back to usa for a short holiday .
 

gf is not highly educated and have no earnings but I would to have her join me in the US. Any comments if it is doable without getting married ?. 

[lopburi3]

6 hours ago, Alotoftravel said:

Can anyone comment how easy or difficult to bring a Thai girlfriend back to the USA . I understand it is difficult unlike a wife which you can bring back to usa for a short holiday .
 

gf is not highly educated and have no earnings but I would to have her join me in the US. Any comments if it is doable without getting married ?. 

Actually having wife visit as a tourist is often more of an issue than a GF (suspect trying to avoid normal immigration procedures which take about a year).  But GF would have to qualify and from your post probably not likely to be able to obtain tourist visa.  But many unlikely have so nothing set in stone.  

[Alotoftravel]

  Very sad to confirm my fears of not being able to bring my GF back to usa to show her my home and see my family . Just because she is not financially acceptable by usa immigration . Her income is based on farming and have no property to show for . She takes care of her father, and 10 years son. 
 

thanks for your reply 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 3/29/2022 at 7:59 AM, Alotoftravel said:

Can anyone comment how easy or difficult to bring a Thai girlfriend back to the USA . I understand it is difficult unlike a wife which you can bring back to usa for a short holiday .
 

gf is not highly educated and have no earnings but I would to have her join me in the US. Any comments if it is doable without getting married ?. 

Immigration likely consider if she will want to remain in the US after visa expires. She needs to prove she will return to Thailand.