Thai women need to be aware of Western Mother’s in-laws!!!!

[KannikaP]

4 hours ago, Sydebolle said:

She needs to know, that Westerners eat out of plates and drink out of glasses, sit on a table, sleep on a bed

This 'Westerner' eats OFF a plate, sits AT a table and sleeps IN a bed!   LOL

[ChrisP24]

7 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Bloody world's full of weirdo's, psycho's and fruit loops these days. 

So that is the Full English Breakfast I've been hearing about?

[CrunchWrapSupreme]

My Thai wife and I are both 45. Wife's eager to go back to the US to work. 300-500 baht a day here, vs. 500-800 baht there an hour. Careers we both could further advance there.

 

My mom's 75. She'd enjoy spending her last decade or so with her son and daughter-in-law. Of my siblings I've been the only one able to supply her one. Heh. Yes indeed, the Thai dedication to family goes both ways. My wife often asks about my mom and if they'd get along. I've got a feeling they will. Cooking, gardening, both like to keep busy.

 

Glad to hear those of you with younger wives managed to make the relationship work. The past colleagues I've had couldn't stop talking about how theirs didn't. Immaturity, laziness, language barrier, financial reqs.

 

Back at a certain BKK private school with a decent salary, they often spoke how at least half of it went to the lady each month. Another frequent complaint was, "You guys got the silent treatment again?" No, can't say I have. How long this time? "Been 3 days, ignoring me". Man. I wouldn't stand for it.

[d2b2]

Informative and newsworthy?  Not so much. Good thing the article was digital, otherwise a waste of ink and paper...as well as my time.

[malibukid]

6 hours ago, TigerandDog said:

Not if it has been written correctly.  "My mother in law" refers to his wife's mother.  "My wife's mother in law"  refers to his mother. So he's saying HIS mother is a complete cow.

 

I can relate to that as my mother was the most self centered, selfish, bigoted individual I've ever known.

duh

[Edwin Cameron]

I have been with my Thai wife 50 years come 2 weeks, we have been soul mates for that long,when she met my mother in 1972 they immediately formed a beautiful friendship that lasted till my Mum's death in 2012,as a matter of fact they were best friends. 

[GinBoy2]

5 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Not sure I share any values with women from any country.

Can't see that Thai women have much difference from Brit women 'value' wise.

 

How long does it take to tell a Thai lady "get me another beer from the fridge"?

Failing that, how long did it take me to learn "Ow eek, kap" ........ about 2 minutes.

Oh Dear God lol

[RocketDog]

11 hours ago, Chelseafan said:

It's true!

On the plus side, we do have the ability to string a sentence together ????

 

Cheap shot.

Spell checkers can really hash things up. Proof reading is the true lost art, not writing.

[dunroaming]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

How long does it take to tell a Thai lady "get me another beer from the fridge"?

Failing that, how long did it take me to learn "Ow eek, kap" ........ about 2 minutes.

About the same amount of time it takes a Thai girl to learn "you hansum man".

 

I remember many years ago my accountant in Thailand (a very canny man) told me that most Thai girls see landing a farang husband as a career opportunity.  It's a job with (usually) quite a few added benefits.  But a job, never the less.

[BritManToo]

26 minutes ago, dunroaming said:

About the same amount of time it takes a Thai girl to learn "you hansum man".

 

I remember many years ago my accountant in Thailand (a very canny man) told me that most Thai girls see landing a farang husband as a career opportunity.  It's a job with (usually) quite a few added benefits.  But a job, never the less.

Nearly all women see men as a career opportunity.

The trick is to not let them take over the company.

[dunroaming]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Nearly all women see men as a career opportunity.

The trick is to not let them take over the company.

I think many do but the men never see it coming ????

[LittleBear57]

My wife would not even enter a bar when I met her. After two years  of trips here I got a fiancé visa for her and we got married in the UK. My mother would not meet her or even talk to her, or me as I would not give her up. We had a daughter and I tried to break the ice but she didn't want to even see her only grand daughter. Cut me out of her will and everything. Married (happily) 15 years now, daughter 14 mother passed away without seeing either, her loss.

[Stevemercer]

I think most men's mothers would worry that the young Thai bride is a gold digger. The rest of his family, particularly his adult children, can be more problematic if they think they will be diddled out of their inheritance or the old man will spend all his money on his child bride.

 

I married a Thai lady close to my own age and who had been 'westernised' to some extent (e.g. she had lived in a western country for 5 or so years). Of course, that all faded once we came back to live in Thailand.

 

I don't think I would even contemplate another relationship with a Thai lady if something happened to my wife. Going through all the Thai cultural introductions (meeting the parents, funerals, weddings, family crisis etc. etc.)  once is enough for a life time. In addition, I'm not sure I could go through 'domesticating' a new wild Thai.

[GinBoy2]

6 minutes ago, LittleBear57 said:

My wife would not even enter a bar when I met her. After two years  of trips here I got a fiancé visa for her and we got married in the UK. My mother would not meet her or even talk to her, or me as I would not give her up. We had a daughter and I tried to break the ice but she didn't want to even see her only grand daughter. Cut me out of her will and everything. Married (happily) 15 years now, daughter 14 mother passed away without seeing either, her loss.

That is a terribly sad story.

 

Thankfully my Mother got to have a relationship with all her grandchildren before she died, my American kids and my Thai son.

 

She was never judgmental, and as much as she loved my first wife like a daughter she embraced my Thai wife just the same.

 

Maybe because of how my first marriage dissolved helped. I still love my first wife as my best friend, we probably talk at least once a week and as weird as this may sound, we go on vacations together, me, her and our partners. 

The kids love it, causes endless laughter with their friends when it comes up.

 

But for my Mother it gave her joy in her final years that everyone was at peace and happy

[spidermike007]

Since this seems to have become a thread about relationships, here is my two cents worth. 

 

Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most  guys here who end up in a bad one. Do not get hung up on them, emotionally, for quite some time. Have some fun. Get to know them.

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, they will reveal themselves over time. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. We need to be honest, and let them know we are not interested in an immediate relationship. Something might develop, but if you are in a hurry, I am NOT YOUR GUY.

 

An environment like this allows us to set boundaries, and take our time. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. We are no longer in an environment that insists on our emasculation. Let's celebrate that. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. 
 

Edited February 9, 2022 by spidermike007

[Hummin]

22 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Since this seems to have become a thread about relationships, here is my two cents worth. 

 

Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most  guys here who end up in a bad one. Do not get hung up on them, emotionally, for quite some time. Have some fun. Get to know them.

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, they will reveal themselves over time. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. We need to be honest, and let them know we are not interested in an immediate relationship. Something might develop, but if you are in a hurry, I am NOT YOUR GUY.

 

An environment like this allows us to set boundaries, and take our time. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. We are no longer in an environment that insists on our emasculation. Let's celebrate that. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. 
 

Time? I never had time before I learned to live in Thailand, 

 

 

[Thingamabob]

Been married to my Thai wife for 40 years. Never encountered any of these problems either in Thailand or, in my case, in the UK.

[Kinnock]

Good to see Aseannow recycling old clichés - environmentally friendly.

[RobU]

19 hours ago, Sydebolle said:

One thing is fact; it never works with a bar girl or a girl of limited education. In as much as the groom is expected to absorb/intake quite a share of Thai culture (and it starts with Sinsod or dowry) as well as the fact, that he jumps into a caretaker post of financial support for people he does not know or never even has met. 

She needs to know, that Westerners eat out of plates and drink out of glasses, sit on a table, sleep on a bed and don't roam 500 miles on the back of a pick-up. Not every party or family gathering has to result in a total alcoholic black-out with local firewater at 500 decibel. Instead of the daily intake of Somtam and sticky rice, the Western cuisine, being not bland but considerably milder, usually features variations and yes, they use cutlery and not their hands. 
 

You can take a girl out of a bar but you will never get the bar out of a girl. I would assume that less than 10% of cross-cultural marriages work between Thais and Caucasians, simply because their background, social values and priorities and the monetary focus differ greatly - apart from the spirituality and social structure (Phooyai and Phee/Nong) which sets many things in rigid stone which are not to be queried. 

Interesting viewpoint, My fiancé was a bar 'Girl' she is 55 she is now back in her own village we have built a house. She has 2 'Gardens' (allotments, to you Englishmen) where she grows food and she works in the fields with her neighbours. She lived and worked in the squalor of Pattaya because she had to survive. She had already bought the land for the house and started building on it when I met her. Many of these women come from villages and their dream is to be able to return and live a normal life away from Bangkok and other tourist traps. The parties that we have had do not end up in alcoholic blackout. In fact consuming alcohol is a pretty rare occurrence. The extended family are very supportive of us both to the point where her Sisters Husband will travel 10 hours to do building work for us and take her to be vaccinated. They have also clubbed together (with me) to buy her a motorbike and sidecar so she can be independent when I am not there and sell produce at the market. You must have had a very bad experience, not everyone is as bad as you claim.

[LittleBear57]

16 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

That is a terribly sad story.

 

Thankfully my Mother got to have a relationship with all her grandchildren before she died, my American kids and my Thai son.

 

She was never judgmental, and as much as she loved my first wife like a daughter she embraced my Thai wife just the same.

 

Maybe because of how my first marriage dissolved helped. I still love my first wife as my best friend, we probably talk at least once a week and as weird as this may sound, we go on vacations together, me, her and our partners. 

The kids love it, causes endless laughter with their friends when it comes up.

 

But for my Mother it gave her joy in her final years that everyone was at peace and happy

Glad things worked out for you, my mother didn't really like my first wife either and after my parents were divorced she poisoned my mind against my father and it took me years to realize that. The saying is you can pick your friends but not your family.

Although I am living in Thailand far away from my son we still have a good and friendly relationship.

I think my mother watched some very biased or at least selective TV programs where Thai women were all badly depicted. 

[Bohemianfish]

On 2/8/2022 at 4:52 PM, ifmu said:

its all about the age difference ...  if we pick a child thai wife  25 or so and we are 55 or so well the problem is this .... immature wife and predator male

 

before u trash me .. i do not believe this    i am 20 yr difference with wife, but at an upper age group  

 

now if i went for a 25 yo she is immature and i am a jerk 

yes, over 35-40. for both persons, age doesn't matter too much. I've got 10 years on my Thai wife.

Edited February 10, 2022 by Bohemianfish

[Bohemianfish]

16 hours ago, Stevemercer said:

I think most men's mothers would worry that the young Thai bride is a gold digger. The rest of his family, particularly his adult children, can be more problematic if they think they will be diddled out of their inheritance or the old man will spend all his money on his child bride.

 

I married a Thai lady close to my own age and who had been 'westernised' to some extent (e.g. she had lived in a western country for 5 or so years). Of course, that all faded once we came back to live in Thailand.

 

I don't think I would even contemplate another relationship with a Thai lady if something happened to my wife. Going through all the Thai cultural introductions (meeting the parents, funerals, weddings, family crisis etc. etc.)  once is enough for a life time. In addition, I'm not sure I could go through 'domesticating' a new wild Thai.

My wife came to the states and we got married. That was good. I got exposed to Thai culture through her and she got exposed to American culture while living here (and I think it may be harder for a Thai person to adapt than the other way around). There's a lot of differences and it takes time to acclimate to each other's culture. Yes, going through that again would be too much. Once is enough. We now have a blended culture at home here in America.

[Bluespunk]

On 2/8/2022 at 10:19 PM, webfact said:

The mother-in-law did not want to be left on her own.

So really nothing to do with the fact the bride was Thai and more that the son was moving away...

Edited February 10, 2022 by Bluespunk

[OneMoreFarang]

On 2/9/2022 at 2:19 AM, webfact said:

But for many, they stay well clear of the young bar girls, and eventually meet a nice friendly Thai girl, who is actually keen on them personally as a boyfriend or even as a future husband.

555

Why should anybody marry an old woman when they can get a pretty young girl?

And the young girl is not spoiled already and she didn't learn for ten or more years how to get most out of her beloved tilac.

[Hummin]

27 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

555

Why should anybody marry an old woman when they can get a pretty young girl?

And the young girl is not spoiled already and she didn't learn for ten or more years how to get most out of her beloved tilac.

Again, since this is a returning topic between you and me! ????

 

There is no good answers about age, it is just the matter of your glasses, and what you feel you are comfortable with.

 

There is young girls who know what they are worth, there is girls who think what they are worth and what they deserve, and there is girls who have no faith in themselves and just take what they can get! Same for older women, but my experience, is that many young or old are greatful for having somebody who care about them, and also care for them. 

 

As said, it is not age related, it is a matter of personality!

 

I feel some women who had previous experience with older falang, is happy to meet a younger one after they have been proper educated. Learned language, learned to swim, eat at table with with fork and knife (joke), got their first motorbike, and also learned to appreciate a good man who do not drink to much, fit and do not smoke when she finely find one! And also a man who do not spend his time in bars almost every day, and do not go to girly bars or agogos

 

Again, there is no general answer that fits everybody.

Edited February 10, 2022 by Hummin

[OneMoreFarang]

14 minutes ago, Hummin said:

and do not go to girly bars or agogos

This goes definitely too far!

[Hummin]

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

This goes definitely too far!

I can enjoy and relax in some good beer/girly bars once and awhile, but never found any joy in agogos. I attended my first real stripp clup at 16, that was brilliant, stylish and clean with great ladies, but, agogo, nope, 

[Mickmouse1]

On 2/9/2022 at 7:35 AM, SAFETY FIRST said:

My mother in law 

 

My wife's mother 

 

Is there a difference, aren't they the same person? 

Yes of course, read the complete sentence, hehe..difficult? ????change the brand.555...

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

I can enjoy and relax in some good beer/girly bars once and awhile, but never found any joy in agogos. I attended my first real stripp clup at 16, that was brilliant, stylish and clean with great ladies, but, agogo, nope, 

Obviously I don't want to bring you on the dark path, but maybe you should try again one time when times are better again.

Many years ago, when I arrived in Thailand, they had lots of go-go bars, and most of them were dirty or worse. Since a couple of years some of these places look real nice and clean, maybe with a big whirlpool or other gimmicks. Obviously it is also important what kind of music you like. In some places the music is always horrible, some people call it car crash techno. But in others the music is not bad and some sound systems are pretty good. And last but not least: In go go bar you can see very much in detail what you buy before you buy. In other places the surprise some sometime later...

Anyhow, everybody according to his own taste.

[englishinsiam]

These stories always make me chuckle.  I've got mates that have had bad women Thai and Non Thai. 

 

My first wife was Anglo Italian and a complete psycho. She even pretended she was dying to get me to go back to her.  

 

My next and last English GF was younger than me and followed me everywhere.  A totally gorgeous girl it should have been me with the insecurities but nope.  It was her with those. Due to this that ends and my long planned thoughts of going to Thailand come true.  

 

Helping out a mate in his hotel in Hua Hin seemed the ideal opportunity to dip my toe into the country.  First day I meet a 19 year old who worked in the hotel.  (I was 37) I was smitten perfect body and something rare for a Thai.  She had a curvy backside. We had amazing times her family were lovely and they wanted nothing but their daughter to be loved which I did dearly.  Until she robbed money from me only 5,000baht but it was the principle.  

 

That soured things and her family tore into her.  She left me for a very rich very old Norwegian. And in the end married a geriatric American millionaire who is now dead.  She lives in Colorado and is fat but has her wish of being rich.  

 

Thirteen years ago met my wife online (10 years younger than me) we spoke for 6 months until I came back to Thailand and life has been amazing.  Her family don't expect anything from us we just pay her parents life insurance annually 10,000 baht. She earns much more in the British labs than in Thai hospitals and is happy here.  Maybe the fact she is educated helps.  She loves earning her own money and pays for our Caravan and is saving up for our Thai house from her wages.  

 

We have a 10 year old son who plays top level football for his age group.  We still love each other as much if not more than when we got together.  

 

The town we live in has a vibrant Thai community we occasionally see a few of them but it's not the centre of our life.  In fact we spend more time with the family and they all adore her.  There was never any animosity from my parents/siblings. 

 

If I lost her I probably wouldn't marry another Thai I don't think I'd get as lucky next time. I would just be an old hansum man having fun.  

 

Anyway that's my take on it.  Not all stories are bad.  

Edited February 10, 2022 by englishinsiam
get rid of deleted