Got UK Visa for Girlfriend, Now She Dumped Me and Going With Another Guy

[UKJASE]

Please dont laugh at me, well you can, but you dont have to tell me about it..... ????

 

I was with the mrs for 19 months, living here in thailand.  We applied for a UK visitor visa, and the wait was really long due to covid, Ukraine etc.

 

A few weeks ago the visa arrived at just about the same time we had a big argument.  A week later she has told me that she has left me, then she tells me she has met some french guy, and is heading with him to london on the visa.  She leaves the end of this month and will meet him there!!

 

Obviously i am gutted.  I want to ask you guys, is she allowed to do this, as we applied for the visa as a couple and i was her guarantor, and there was even a letter from me old mum offering us a place to stay etc during our visit?  What happens if she goes astray whilst in uk (very doubtful, but possible).... would i be resposible for her in any way?

 

I am thinking i should at least ask the french guy for the 8000 baht i spent applying for the visa, travelling to bangkok etc.  If he refuses, am i able to get in touch with the visa people and tell them i am no longer her guarantor?  i know it is a bit spiteful to do that, but i am <deleted> off and if i mess up her trip, so be it 

 

What do you guys think?

[petermik]

She will not be allowed to use the visa that was issued under your name to travel to meet this other guy...

[howerde]

Sorry to hear this, not sure how you applied as couple, she would have applied, with your support, but the visa will be in her name.

she has a valid visit visa so she will be able to travel, however she may be questioned at immigration on arrival, and if her answers dont match the application answers she gave on her application(immigration can see this info) eg were you travelling with ukjase? where is he? then immigration may phone you if the are suspicious.  then she can be denied entry.

You can not and you will not be held responsible for her actions. you are not the first relax

it is up to you if you want to report her to immigration, not sure that they do anything, they might put something on computer, the mysteries of the home office, just google report immigration offence

Edited May 20, 2022 by howerde
missing text

[Gottfrid]

As you are the guarantor for the visa, you should directly inform the embassy that she left and you are no longer in the picture. That way, you will not have any responsibilities. If her visa will be cancelled or not, is hard to say. However, it should be if you are the one that have put up financials for the visa.

[Lacessit]

I would suggest contacting the UK embassy here, and getting the visa cancelled, by explaining you are no longer her guarantor. This situation has probably arisen before, they will know what to do.

IMO the money you have spent already is a life lesson, the French are not noted for generosity. Tight as a duck's bum.

[Kinnock]

Not sure what you'd gain by trying to sabotage her visa?  I think the main aim is to get some of the costs back?

 

So the threat of contacting the UK Embassy may be enough to get your cash back.

 

And remember, this is Thailand - so just find yourself a hotter and nicer girl, take her to London, and post lots of pictures on Facebook.

[rumak]

11 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

IMO the money you have spent already is a life lesson

Tis true.    Of course many guys seem to flunk the test when the situation comes up again in the future

[theoldgit]

@UKJASE sorry to hear about the developments with you girlfriend.

 

A couple of things to point out though, you were never her guarantor, there's no such thing under UK Immigration Law, it's her that convinced the decision maker that her proposed trip was genuine and affordable, you may have offerred financial support, but any guarantees that either of you may have made would have been uneforcable in law, and decision makers are instructed to ignore them.

 

@petermikhas given incorrect advice, the visa would have been issued in her name not yours, though you may have offerred financial support, which is no longer available, so there has been a material change in her circumstances since the visa was issued, which in itself is probably sufficient for her to be refused entry to the UK.

 

@howerdemakes some valid points, save that the visa wasn't issued to you both as a couple, it was issued to her, with you, I assume, providing financial support, as I say the fact that this support is no longer valid is a material change of circumstances.

 

He rightly points out that she would be allowed to travel to the UK Border with that visa, where she would be asked about her visit, Border Force Officers can access the original application.

 

You could if you were so inclined contact the UKVI and alert them to the fact your relationship is no more and that you are no longer offerring finacial support, they wouldn't respond to you, but they might possibly enter an alert into their system that might make her subject to futher questioning on arrival at the UK Border, and may be refused entry to the UK.

 

I'm aware of a few people who've been down that path, have told the former partner that they intended to contact the UKVI, who then decided not to travel.

 

As has been pointed out, if she overstayed you wouldn't be held to account.

[Mac Mickmanus]

6 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

 

And remember, this is Thailand - so just find yourself a hotter and nicer girl, take her to London, and post lots of pictures on Facebook.

An Ex tried that with me , posting photos online with her and her new guy . 

I just felt sorry for him and wondered whether I should warn him about what shes really like 

[norfolkandchance]

Maybe she didn’t fancy your chosen fottie team. 
Best off luck anyway.

[mvdf]

32 minutes ago, UKJASE said:

Obviously i am gutted.  I want to ask you guys, is she allowed to do this, as we applied for the visa as a couple and i was her guarantor, and there was even a letter from me old mum offering us a place to stay etc during our visit?  What happens if she goes astray whilst in uk (very doubtful, but possible).... would i be resposible for her in any way?

Do the right thing. Inform the embassy that you wish to revoke all guarantees you provided in support of the visa application. Allowing the visa to stand as valid on the strength of your and your mum's pledge of support would equate to fraud. As for what could or might happen should she abscond and breach the terms of the visa, you can expect stricter vetting when lodging future applications. You can also expect the Home Office to happily bill you for their efforts to remove or deport her from the United Kingdom. As a guarantor, the onus is on you to bear those expenses.

 

On a more sinister note, if she becomes a victim of a crime, whether in the UK or in France, law enforcement will find your name linked to her visa. Inform the embassy about these latest unfortunate developments for your and your mum's peace of mind.

  

[Mutt Daeng]

52 minutes ago, UKJASE said:

Please dont laugh at me, well you can, but you dont have to tell me about it..... ????

 

I was with the mrs for 19 months, living here in thailand.  We applied for a UK visitor visa, and the wait was really long due to covid, Ukraine etc.

 

A few weeks ago the visa arrived at just about the same time we had a big argument.  A week later she has told me that she has left me, then she tells me she has met some french guy, and is heading with him to london on the visa.  She leaves the end of this month and will meet him there!!

 

Obviously i am gutted.  I want to ask you guys, is she allowed to do this, as we applied for the visa as a couple and i was her guarantor, and there was even a letter from me old mum offering us a place to stay etc during our visit?  What happens if she goes astray whilst in uk (very doubtful, but possible).... would i be resposible for her in any way?

 

I am thinking i should at least ask the french guy for the 8000 baht i spent applying for the visa, travelling to bangkok etc.  If he refuses, am i able to get in touch with the visa people and tell them i am no longer her guarantor?  i know it is a bit spiteful to do that, but i am <deleted> off and if i mess up her trip, so be it 

 

What do you guys think?

TBH mate, while it's really <deleted> annoying, I think this is just something you have to put down to a bad experience and let it go. Just one of life's lessons IMHO.

Edited May 20, 2022 by Mutt Daeng

[formanth]

Sorry to hear that UkJase. As the other posters have alluded to, you could inform the relevant authorities if you wanted to. That's only a choice you and your conscience can make. Doubtful the French guy would oblige regarding compensation. 

 

Sounds like your conscience is more developed than hers, so while this all stings now, later you'll see it as a blessing in disguise.  One door closes and another doors opens. It may take a while, but think in terms of abundance.

There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of attractive women  in a 200 mile radius of wherever you are.

Many of those will be available and more compatible. At least honest. Surely quite a few of those would care more about your " good heart" than the runner.

 

And don't worry too much, karma has a way of balancing things.

Just think, wouldn't it be poetic justice if her new beau ends up doing the same after a short time in London and she finds herself on the receiving end.

 

Ah, hypergamy. Don't blame women for it. 

 Welcome to the red pill world, my friend. The question now is, will you take the red or blue pill?

 

Jai yen yen

[rumak]

Jeez.  lots of philosophizing and what not in some replies.    The op says they did have a big argument before the "split up" .      Maybe he was the culprit,  maybe her.    Anyway.... it happens all the time .

Not a relationship meant to be,  and if Jase is a nice guy then he should be grateful to move on.

 

as for her.   Just check with govt agency what steps you should take now .      and how to protect yourself (keep record of emails and replies to govt )

[internationalism]

ask her, and not the other guy, for 300k.

If not ask consulate to cancel her visa

 

[formanth]

7 minutes ago, rumak said:

Jeez.  lots of philosophizing and what not in some replies.    The op says they did have a big argument before the "split up" .      Maybe he was the culprit,  maybe her.    Anyway.... it happens all the time .

Not a relationship meant to be,  and if Jase is a nice guy then he should be grateful to move on.

 

as for her.   Just check with govt agency what steps you should take now .      and how to protect yourself (keep record of emails and replies to govt )

Right.  Because there's a legal aspect, which helpful members have pointed out ( needs to protect himself from any legal ramifications)...and there are the "philosophical" considerations, which some others are reminding him to consider, for the future. That  becomes even more important if he wishes to minimize the chance a repeat down the track. Unless he wants to go monk mode.   Not eliminate entirely, as that's not possible, but minimize.

 

Because it's normal for ALL live in women to throw some drama at you. The difference is...is it minor and a handful of times a year or is it the more common regular occurrence that most men seem to get.

That's up to guys to decide ( receiving end of drama, arguments, pouting, silent treatment, denying sex, etc) how much they're willing to put up with, and in what form, if any.

 

[proton]

1 hour ago, Kinnock said:

Not sure what you'd gain by trying to sabotage her visa?  I think the main aim is to get some of the costs back?

 

So the threat of contacting the UK Embassy may be enough to get your cash back.

 

And remember, this is Thailand - so just find yourself a hotter and nicer girl, take her to London, and post lots of pictures on Facebook.

she is the one sabotaging the visa, report the devious little madam

[orchis]

she now has a valid visa.

[LoeiI]

1 hour ago, Kinnock said:

Not sure what you'd gain by trying to sabotage her visa?  I think the main aim is to get some of the costs back?

 

So the threat of contacting the UK Embassy may be enough to get your cash back.

 

And remember, this is Thailand - so just find yourself a hotter and nicer girl, take her to London, and post lots of pictures on Facebook.

Sabotage it asap I wouldn't be bothered about the cash TBH just the fact that you've screwed up her shenanigans with Pepe la Pew would suffice ???????? 

[Doctor Tom]

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I would suggest contacting the UK embassy here, and getting the visa cancelled, by explaining you are no longer her guarantor. This situation has probably arisen before, they will know what to do.

IMO the money you have spent already is a life lesson, the French are not noted for generosity. Tight as a duck's bum.

The Embassy and the UK Border Force are not connected in that way,  Her visa is legally  no longer valid due to having no guarantee attached,  but unless you inform UKBF, she will be free to travel, She may not gain entry on being asked to confirm  her financial and accommodation arrangements,  but the French chap will  able to cover that aspect if they travel together, if not,  she could get into bother.  But UKBF is who you need to report it to, not the UK Embassy .   

Edited May 20, 2022 by Doctor Tom

[gargamon]

2 hours ago, Kinnock said:

Not sure what you'd gain by trying to sabotage her visa?

Satisfaction!

 

I like to learn from other's problems. As I'm retired, I really see no reason to want to live in the west full time. All I can offer them is a good life in SE Asia. A possible visa will never be an incentive to a prospective partner.

[d4dang]

Report to your embassy immediately. You are legally and financially liable if she enters the UK using the visa and breaks any rules or regulations like working or over staying. Nice she  has a new bf who can get her a visa. Forget your investment and protect yourself and your mother. Lots of Thai girls dating online in London. Most arrive with someone.

[sandyf]

1 hour ago, orchis said:

she now has a valid visa.

There is no such thing as a "valid" visa, visas are granted on information supplied but there is never any guarantee of entry. Changes in circumstances should be notified, failure can mean refusal.

My wife has entered the UK about 10 times now, the last being 10 days ago, and we always get questioned regarding the trip.

[Hummin]

Her legal reason to visit Uk is terminated, and it is your duty to inform UKVI, if not you can be held responsible. 
 

Good luck

Edited May 20, 2022 by Hummin

[BangkokAlan]

The main benefit to informing the embassy is in the event that she overstay her visa in UK they may come to you to follow up why. Also if you want to take another person later if her visa is still valid it will create a lot of drama as the UK embassy will say you already guaranteed someone else and of that person overstays it will be a black mark against you so best to cover yourself. But inform her you are informing UK embassy you are no longer together and no longer support her visa so travel for her is a risk and let her take a chance or get a of being refused at UK border control or she can get French visa. 

[dj230]

At least you got 19 good months with her, 8000 baht isn't too bad, I personally would just report to immigrations what has happened, especially since you're the guarantor instead to have her denied instead of worrying about the 8000 baht. I'd tell them we've split and you're no longer part of her travel plans, that she's on her own.

 

Consider it a good thing you didn't have to stick with her any longer, now you can find a better girl.

 

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by dj230

[howerde]

1 hour ago, d4dang said:

Report to your embassy immediately. You are legally and financially liable if she enters the UK using the visa and breaks any rules or regulations like working or over staying. Nice she  has a new bf who can get her a visa. Forget your investment and protect yourself and your mother. Lots of Thai girls dating online in London. Most arrive with someone.

Simply wrong, he has no legal  liability, whatsoever under law

[howerde]

48 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Her legal reason to visit Uk is terminated, and it is your duty to inform UKVI, if not you can be held responsible. 
 

Good luck

Not true,  he has no responsibility at all . show your  source for this statement

[The Hammer2021]

Do everything you can to prevent her travelling but don't let her know- she sounds a badun

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, howerde said:

Not true,  he has no responsibility at all . show your  source for this statement

I hold my breath, and wondering why you repeat yourself over and over with pure misinformation! 
 

I guess he guaranteed for her stay by signing the guarantee form? If so, I rest my case!