THE WEEK THAT WAS Rooster investigates the “niterie entertainment scene” - still rather quiet but the night ends well

[webfact]

 

OPINION | by Rooster

 

I thought it was high time Rooster got out more so I defiantly informed Mrs R that I was heading off not just to Patpong but Nana and Soi Cowboy to boot. It was post pandemic, the newest normal yet, and I was determined to bring my readers the very latest on Bangkok’s “niterie entertainment scene”

 

I had to explain to ‘er indoors why I was hitching up my pants (certainly not trousers) and proudly donning my latest Scrabble medallion. 

Rooster dressed to impress

 

I asked if she had any suspenders for me to wear and got a bit of a blank look.

 

For those too young to know the references, it was a “tip o’ the hat” to a revered and now deceased  Bangkok columnist of a bygone era - Bernard Trink (look out for the ‘Trinkisms’ sans quotes from here on in).  Mrs R reminded me that I was flying without a license and told me to drive safely lest I crash and burn. 

 

Her issuance of a visa so readily would have put immigration to shame. 

 

Buoyant, I rode off into the Ratchayothin Sunset heading for Patpong where my 40 year “Happy Hour” began in April 1982. I wasn’t planning on more than a couple of drinks and a “nam som” or two. 

 

Just like in the old days I intended to park in the second floor lot on Patpong 2, where else, then head to “Foodland a Go Go” (as we used to call it), our unofficial after hours meeting place. 

 

The pandemic has been tough on business and journos have suffered too but your intrepid reporter was keen to find out if the bars were recovering since Uncle Too - our father who art in khaki, hollow be thy name - allowed 2 am opening again. Had the comely lasses returned, what had they been doing since Covid became a household word, how was the future shaping up?

 

When I arrived in Silom I drove straight past Patpong. It was deathly quiet and there was no market, certainly nothing to warrant fears of an imminent conflagration.

 

Admittedly it was a Wednesday in June and quite early but it looked dreadful, threatening even. Rick Astley on a TV at an outside bar was the only reminder of the 1980s.

 

Had I been Rick Rolled?

 

There seemed little point in overstaying my welcome so I headed off to Nana Plaza, where large groups of my friends used to play snooker on the third floor - a club long since gone. 

 

Bars on Soi 4 were doing a good trade and Tik and her friend Tuk said I could buy them a drink. They said they had spent a lot of time online looking for dates in the pandemic but mostly they had ridden out the storm back in the north east helping mum with their kids. 

 

They pressed about that drink and I muttered something about Mrs Rooster and her penchant for feeding ducks and they were off in a flash.

 

That’s what I call the “nanasecond” - the time it takes for a bar girl to spot a Cheap Charlie. 

 

A tuk-tuk whizzes by outside Nana Plaza

 

I popped into Nana Plaza itself and noted the roof gave a good atmosphere. There was some shuffling going on on various stages but I made my excuses and left despite having my way blocked by a person with a rather large Adam’s Apple and an even larger set of chest attachments. 

 

Outside I thought about dropping in at a Tavern advertising “a little slice of the States”. Perhaps not, it sounded as though I'd be stabbed rather than shot.

 

Demimondaines were lining the street smiling as I boarded my steed (alright a 250cc Honda) that I never would have been able to park by the kerb way back when. 

 

The author in Soi 4

 

I was surprised to see a new bar area called Manana all shut up - there was an underage sex bust there a couple of months ago though the rumor mill on the street was unsure that was the reason for the closure.  

 

Soi Cowboy Ho! (BTW that means I was headed there, not trying to find a lady though I expect you don’t give a hoot). 

 

After kicking down the side stand Steve McQueen style I headed for Tilac Bar. 

 

Tilac Bar in Soi Cowboy, still going strong

 

I recalled vividly how I went to Tilac’s opening night in 1988 (was it?) and it hadn’t changed much - except the prices. 150 sobs of the realm and it wasn’t even 8.30 pm - whatever happened to Happy Hour?. 

 

A distaff interest in the form of Bua came up and took pity on me, explaining in the vernacular that it was good that more tourists were arriving. She didn’t ask me why a tourist should be speaking fluent Thai, maybe it didn’t occur to her. 

 

She said that friends had gone into manufacturing but were tempted again by the bright lights and better pay now that Bangkok was reopening again, albeit slowly. ‘Nuff said.

 

I pretended I needed to respond to an important text about my gems business at the resort and when she went to join the other shufflers I downed my Heineken and headed for the Subway; not the tube as we call it in London, but for a 99 baht ham on Honey Oat. Best value of the night, I’ll clue ya. 

 

The end of Soi Cowboy, or is this just the beginning)

 

Soi Cowboy also looked reasonably lively and the ladies had tried to make me stay with their accurate observations about my handsomeness. Nothing to do with money in my case. But I had to disappoint.

 

I decided to return to Patpong to see if it had picked up. It hadn’t - when I started taking a picture of the street I thought I was going to get beaten up.

 

King’s Castle was never so quiet back in the day)

 

I revved to Suriwong and then doubled back to Soi Saladaeng where the tom-toms had it that a ganja dispensary had opened; everything was shut by now so I headed off home down a sub-soi towards Rama IV only to be stopped in my tracks by a gorgeous aroma wafting from a white van parked by the side of the road with four or five studious looking Thais crowding around what looked like sweet jars. 

 

A sticker on the side said “Mental Matters - Cannabis Convoy”.

 

Aha! Nirvana!

 

I wasn’t intending to buy, but I thought it rude not to, especially as the polite guy with impeccable English said I could just purchase a single joint and it was only 100 baht.

 

“OK”, I said. “Upper or downer?”, he asked. “Er, upper”, I replied. 

 

Within seconds the Critical Kush was rolled and packaged in a neat brown ziplock and I was homeward bound thinking how times had changed (mostly in the last two weeks….)

 

‘Allo ‘allo’ ‘allo - what’s all this then?

 

With the “brown envelope” package in my top pocket it made me smile as I scooted past all the cops setting up their roadblocks clearly expecting trouble from protests in the Din Daeng area.

 

Were they really smiling back?

 

Mrs Rooster was still up watching Netflix. The next three hours were wonderful (despite the evil taste of baccy)  though I haven’t eaten so much in months. I saved half the spiff for the next day, my tolerance is very low.

 

Yes, it was a fun evening. Perhaps not the real deal yet but “full of Eastern promise” as they used to say about a UK chocolate. 

 

And so to a round up of this week's usual array of nutty Thai news. But first….

 

Last week’s ganja column prompted quite a lively battle between Stoners in the Red Eyes corner and Alkies in the Blue. On balance marijuana users presented the more cogent arguments though some got a tad hot under the collar making me wonder if they'd not lit up yet. Relax folks and let the moderators ban the trolls, there are plenty creeping out of the AN woodwork on both sides of the drug divide. 

 

In the news itself all and sundry ‘entered the ganja fray’ as Rooster termed it in a story about Thaksin “Tony” who followed the Bangkok governor’s pathetic attempts to politicize the issue. 

 

Mr Woodsome - where did he get that moniker - banged on about opium, dodgy capsules, friends jumping off buildings, bad dreams (yes, I get that after your history Tony) etc etc….all without mentioning his summary execution of thousands of innocent people in the War on Drugs. That was picked up by the BBC’s Jonathan Head who composed a sensible piece following on from his story about the stunning news of weed’s legalization.

 

In my favorite quote of the weed, I mean week, he attributed the following to Chidchanok Chitchob (a female member of the infamous political dynasty in Buriram who, like Anutin, stand to make the most):

 

“Recreational use is where the money is at”.

 

ASEAN NOW led with an infomercial from a company called PrikPot who promised Kerry delivery - same day in Chiang Mai! You could almost hear the prohibitionists banging their Reefer Madness fists in fury at this horrendous U-turn. 

 

The Thais are to be commended for this move, in my view. But I’d like to see them go further and empty more of the jails of the estimated 75% in for drugs. As justice minister Paiboon Kumchaya said in 2016, the war on drugs has been a total failure. It’s only got worse since, the drugs and the failure. Thailand needs to change its stance completely along the lines of  Portugal as featured in Michael Moore’s provocative comedy (with many home truths) “Where to Invade Next”. If you’ve never seen it please do. 

 

Drugs need to be controlled - ganja too - and the vulnerable protected. But stop wasting money on going after the uncatchable and start helping the victims get off the nasty hard stuff. Start educating Thai kids rather than pounding them full of drivel to keep them compliant and ignoring the real issues. Who knows, I live in hope that the progressives may yet arrive to challenge the present crop of dinosaurs. 

 

Apropos, Prayut said “don’t try it” while his underlings actually promoted the growing of more plants at home, not less. Oh the irony! Typically nobody was talking to each other, just going off on weed tangents and looking ever more foolish.

 

Naew Na reported that nine people had gone to hospital with ganja related issues in Bangkok in 11 days. Nine! Might as well have been zero. 

 

A Sanook story was trawled up from a conspiracy site in January about a man who tried to hack off his todger after several bongs. People do have “episodes” but this one was given an ASEAN NOW warning by Rooster despite the fact that The Independent in the UK claimed it was true earlier. 

 

Whether AN should report such articles created a discussion. My view is that it is important to explain to non-Thais what is going on in the Thai press. Only then can people understand why Thais - a very well connected online race - are thinking the way they do.

 

Biggest own goal of the week was Wildlife Conservation Department director Wanchai Singto’s brilliant backheel into the old onion bag when he said he was worried that tourists could infect Hua Hin macaques with monkeypox. More than a few posters suggested that the monkeys could be infected with stupidity, more like. 

 

Also on tourism the Thais pointed to Google clicks as a sign of tourism recovery. Methinks, many of those clicks were not just Agoda but “Thailand+ganja+hotel+how much per gram” - as a friend-in-the-know in Blighty told me this week. 

 

All this has forced Covid very rightfully and thankfully onto the back burner - even a story about a Thai vet getting the once dreaded lurgy from a cat failed to even register so much as a purr.

 

In international news mayor Don McLaughlin suggested that Robb Elementary School will be demolished like Sandy Hook was. This will help everything gun related  be swept under the carpet though the police in Uvalde are facing enormous stick for failing to get their weapons out. Now there’s a first.

 

Also Stateside, Englishman Matt Fitzpatrick won the US Open golf at Brookline with a gutsy hit from an 18th fairway bunker. 

 

In Australia, Victoria became the first state to specifically ban the display of the Nazi swastika on pain of a year in jail or a $22,000 fine. Last year they rebranded Coon Cheese to Cheer; My! how they are getting with the program down under.

 

Back in Thailand the cabinet announced that henceforth every April 3rd will be “National Groundwater Day”. Just ten days before everybody throws HIJKLMNO at motorcyclists in an effort to kill them at Songkran. (BTW, that sequence of letters was a famous crossword clue, five letters). 

 

Stray dogs on Ao Nang beach in Krabi were filmed attacking Thai tourists prompting action from the mayor to round up the mangy miscreants. He then proposed a nice home be built for them. The poor Thais are now completely hamstrung not just by Buddhist nonsense but by laws that favor canines over khons. 

 

On the same subject a two year old foreign kid in Pattaya needed 200 stitches after a Rottweiler got out. The owner needs rice gruel for the full month allowed by law. 

 

In Jomtien the tourists were happier with a busy street market. The Pattaya curmudgeons posted it was hard to find a parking spot but acknowledged that the new beach was lovely. It almost looked worth a visit until one poster said that foreign tourists would soon be back in pre-pandemic numbers. Cancel that.

 

Thai media continued to concentrate on what is truly important, however, the next draw in the lottery. An invading water monitor in Ayutthaya signaled riches while a banana tree shaped like a lotus wowed a grannie and her neighbors. Best of the lot was the abandoned, bloodstained coffin found in a secluded soi in Pattaya - with 635 scribbled on the lid. 

 

Finally, PM Prayut surfaced again - like a rat coming up for air - to suggest that the retention of the emergency decree was all about Covid and nothing to do with the street protests. 

 

Any comment would be superfluous.

 

Rooster

 

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[animalmagic]

Dressed for action - zip not fastened!

[klauskunkel]

Quote

Rooster investigates the “niterie entertainment scene”

Rooster, you certainly went prepared:

 

[topt]

25 minutes ago, animalmagic said:

Dressed for action - zip not fastened!

Perhaps, or perhaps not, you may have missed the comment -

On 6/23/2022 at 1:52 PM, webfact said:

Mrs R reminded me that I was flying without a license

 

[madmitch]

Stick to news, Rooster. Leave the nightlife to Stickman!

[PadPrikKhing]

21 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

An old guy who drinks and drives and writes about things he does not know much about.

What's the point?

I think the point is humor. That's how it came across to me, anyway. The fly unzipped on his pants set the tone, and I went with it. I enjoyed it from that angle. And he bought and smoked a joint, so you can't fault him there! That's intrepid reporting!

[Skeptic7]

Night Rooster???? is no Nite Owl???? but thanks for some fond memories of The Great Ol' Days! ????

[kingstonkid]

Anti and Pan at TIPTOP on Patpong said you forgot something there.

something about tip and short time LOL

Patpong night market is s thing of the past.  The traders have left for other areas and will not come back until the tourist s do.  

 

As an aside one of the first bars to pen on PP was the show bar upstairs pretty girls ping pong happy Birthday, sexy ladies and cheap beer.

 

Should have bought Mrs R a present at the shop between pp1 and pp2

[roquefort]

On 6/23/2022 at 1:52 PM, webfact said:

That’s what I call the “nanasecond” - the time it takes for a bar girl to spot a Cheap Charlie. 

Priceless!!

[RobU]

Very entertaining article and mildly informative too. Well done.

[Freed1948]

I was going to say "don't give up your day job" until I realised this is it.  Stick to the news Rooster, as your attempt at humour is pathetic. And that is being kind.

[2long]

"That’s what I call the “nanasecond” - the time it takes for a bar girl to spot a Cheap Charlie. "

????????????????????????????????????

[Eff1n2ret]

deleted

[Thailand]

Turkish Delight most definitely does not taste the same nowadays.

I think I used to like it, now the taste difficult to explain, or maybe just my memory.

But wagon Wheels, surely less than half the size as when I was a kid?

[Don Dunkelblum]

Well done Rooster, well done

[Reposed]

Looks like Rooster's pants were on a bit Cock-eyed, meaning he left home half Cocked to drink Cocktails in the hen house while shouting at the strutting chicks, "Cock-a-doodle-do," which Cocked-up the whole experience.

 

That is, if one were to believe this Cock-and-Bull story.

[BostonRob2]

14 minutes ago, Reposed said:

Looks like Rooster's pants were on a bit Cock-eyed, meaning he left home half Cocked to drink Cocktails in the hen house while shouting at the strutting chicks, "Cock-a-doodle-do," which Cocked-up the whole experience.

 

That is, if one were to believe this Cock-and-Bull story.

Cheep shots,

 

Rooster

[BostonRob2]

6 hours ago, madmitch said:

Stick to news, Rooster. Leave the nightlife to Stickman!

I think my point was there isn't really any nightlife to speak of at the moment, compared to the Halcyon days of the 1980s and 90s.

 

Rooster

[BostonRob2]

50 minutes ago, Don Dunkelblum said:

Well done Rooster, well done

Thanks for reading and the positivity. Some on here just don't get it. They seem so abjectly miserable! And they seem to think I am old, past it. They need to take a long hard look in the mirror, taking care not to crack it.

 

Cheers,

 

Rooster

[BostonRob2]

1 hour ago, Thailand said:

Turkish Delight most definitely does not taste the same nowadays.

I think I used to like it, now the taste difficult to explain, or maybe just my memory.

But wagon Wheels, surely less than half the size as when I was a kid?

I used to love the Fry's bar until I discovered the real deal at Rose's.

 

Yes, didn't Wagon Wheels seem so big when we were knee high to takataens

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Rooster

[BostonRob2]

2 hours ago, Eff1n2ret said:

deleted

I've got a spare thesaurus if you need one. A few less entries than my brain but you can't have everything.

 

Rooster

[BostonRob2]

2 hours ago, Freed1948 said:

I was going to say "don't give up your day job" until I realised this is it.  Stick to the news Rooster, as your attempt at humour is pathetic. And that is being kind.

Thank you for your kindness.

 

Rooster

[BostonRob2]

2 hours ago, RobU said:

Very entertaining article and mildly informative too. Well done.

I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reading.

 

Rooster

[BostonRob2]

6 hours ago, kingstonkid said:

Anti and Pan at TIPTOP on Patpong said you forgot something there.

something about tip and short time LOL

Patpong night market is s thing of the past.  The traders have left for other areas and will not come back until the tourist s do.  

 

As an aside one of the first bars to pen on PP was the show bar upstairs pretty girls ping pong happy Birthday, sexy ladies and cheap beer.

 

Should have bought Mrs R a present at the shop between pp1 and pp2

I saw that shop and had exactly the same thought. Maybe I'll go back when things pick up more.

 

Thanks for reading and commenting.

 

Rooster

[DJ54]

Alright Rooster… good read…  but you can’t leave us hanging without the answer to crossword 

puzzle….  Give it up.. I couldn’t figure … but your Brit and it could be some word us Americans 

had to update to proper spelling….. like going to the Import store and trying to figure out what Brits call biscuits….. don’t y’all Brits get riled up it all in good humor… I think 555.

 

Went to the Australian Airshow years ago… mini van with 6 Brit’s 1 American me… ride back and forth

to show 4 days… 4 were former RAF and all liked to talk <deleted> to the lone American. Stories of 

putting the back door down on Hercules C1 push beer out to get cold. Actually had a lot of fun and

kept my trap shut on the ride back and forth … then last day going back let them have it… they laughed their asses off wondering when I kick back… I was a good beer drinker those days so 

helped get a little respect….
 

My ex wife could handle herself and keep up drinking  Miller lite … but in OZ had some Stella Artois 

one of the guys says think your wife’s passed out on the couch…. Wasn’t the same <deleted> as US… 

[BostonRob2]

6 hours ago, Skeptic7 said:

Night Rooster???? is no Nite Owl???? but thanks for some fond memories of The Great Ol' Days! ????

Yeh, I could never have done that job. How many Trinkisms did you spot?, there were about 20.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Rooster

 

 

[BostonRob2]

4 minutes ago, DJ54 said:

Alright Rooster… good read…  but you can’t leave us hanging without the answer to crossword 

puzzle….  Give it up.. I couldn’t figure … but your Brit and it could be some word us Americans 

had to update to proper spelling….. like going to the Import store and trying to figure out what Brits call biscuits….. don’t y’all Brits get riled up it all in good humor… I think 555.

 

Went to the Australian Airshow years ago… mini van with 6 Brit’s 1 American me… ride back and forth

to show 4 days… 4 were former RAF and all liked to talk <deleted> to the lone American. Stories of 

putting the back door down on Hercules C1 push beer out to get cold. Actually had a lot of fun and

kept my trap shut on the ride back and forth … then last day going back let them have it… they laughed their asses off wondering when I kick back… I was a good beer drinker those days so 

helped get a little respect….
 

My ex wife could handle herself and keep up drinking  Miller lite … but in OZ had some Stella Artois 

one of the guys says think your wife’s passed out on the couch…. Wasn’t the same <deleted> as US… 

HIJKLMNO (5)?

 

H2O

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Rooster

 

 

 

[KIngsofisaan]

6 hours ago, madmitch said:

Stick to news, Rooster. Leave the nightlife to Stickman!

How could Stickman could do a better job, since he has been living in New Zealand the past years?

[KIngsofisaan]

Nice story. It seems all those locations are quite well short of their glory days!

[BostonRob2]

1 minute ago, KIngsofisaan said:

Nice story. It seems all those locations are quite well short of their glory days!

Goodness me they are. I used to live in King's Castle, King's Corner, Thigh bar, Superstar, P Galore, etc etc. Patpong is finished. Nana will pick up as it has a modicum of class. Cowboy is still Cowboy, a nice place to sit with friends, if I had any....

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Rooster