Where can I go to find myself

[Burma Bill]

15 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Somewhere away from life, quiet rural away from people etc

For reference which may interest you:-

 

https://www.travelfish.org/beginners_detail/thailand/133

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

If you are lost, you need to spend alot of time in contemplation, mediation, and do alot of inner work. This can be done anywhere. Any house or apartment, anywhere in the world. Being a quiet place is the only requirement. If you are not willing to do the work, it does not matter where you are. You will remain lost from yourself. 

Contemplation, mediation, and do a lot of inner work is obviously one option. But I think another option is doing something different and maybe exhausting. I.e. work on a farm or work on a construction site. It will make you tired and you don't have time and energy to think about other problems and/or the problems of this world. Do that for a month or two and that will also change your perspective - without actively looking for something different. 

[Alidiver]

I have stayed in a temple.

You better find one that has hotel facilities.

Golden Buddha Pattaya, I had to get up 03:00 to put out prayer books, pray at 04:00, clean temple, breakfast then free time to meditate, lunch at 12:00 which was the last meal of the day, more prayers and more cleaning in the afternoon, bed at 19:00.

Oh, and slept on the floor with no air con or western toilets.

Loved it but was only for a short stay.

Edited October 22, 2022 by Alidiver

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, Sparktrader said:

Sleazy area isnt going to give peace.

Did you ever try it for a couple of weeks? ???? 

[Sparktrader]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Contemplation, mediation, and do a lot of inner work is obviously one option. But I think another option is doing something different and maybe exhausting. I.e. work on a farm or work on a construction site. It will make you tired and you don't have time and energy to think about other problems and/or the problems of this world. Do that for a month or two and that will also change your perspective - without actively looking for something different. 

Do 5 day treks all over asia. Buy a bike and cycle around. Hire a car and visit national parks. 

[Sparktrader]

2 minutes ago, Alidiver said:

I have stayed in a temple.

You better find one that has hotel facilities.

Golden Buddha Pattaya, I had to get up 03:00 to put out prayer books, pray at 04:00, clean temple, breakfast then free time to meditate, lunch at 12:00 which was the last meal of the day, more prayers and more cleaning in the afternoon, bed at 19:00.

Loved it but was only for a short stay.

Getting up at 3am sounds like hell.

[Walker88]

I don't mean to be flippant or harsh, but the way to 'find yourself' is to forget yourself. Be for other people and everything you worried about "you" disappears.

 

I'm assuming you have no major health issue or no major biological issue with your brain, like depression, bipolar, etc.

 

I never saw anyone who engaged in navel gazing come out better. People either become even more self-absorbed or else become victim to a 'guru' who preys off people in search of 'something'. Thinking of 'you' is not going to solve the problem of thinking about 'you' too much.  That's like trying to cure your lung cancer by smoking more. I'm not a believer in anything, so going off with monks or gurus would bore me to tears listening to that nonsense and banal drivel.....no matter the faith. They have no non obvious answers to anything, just gibberish. After 2000 or so years they have their shtick down, but it's still gibberish.

 

A recent post by a member suffering, as I do, from prolixity mentions being forever curious. Focus on something outside of yourself.

 

Give yourself to others. Be a friend. Lend an ear. Be a buddy. Compliment somebody. Give something to someone in need. All that creates 'meaning' and takes focus off one's self.

 

We humans are primarily social creatures. Unless one is trying to solve a riddle or produce the Unified Field Theory, going off by one's self just makes people worse. The world becomes all about "Me", and that is the road to perdition.

 

Forget "You" to find you.

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, Sparktrader said:

Women all over Thailand. I dont see how one sleazy area is going to fix there mental approach to life. OP asked for a quiet place. They could find a woman in Chiang Rai or Ubon or Nakhon Phanom, somewhere peaceful like that.

But imagine after a year with a boring woman up north he spends a few hours in Soi 6 with the hottest chicks who do their very best to let him see the stars. 

And then: Why did I waste all that time? ???? 

[Thingamabob]

Very difficult to make any recommendation to someone you don't know, and whose issues are unclear. I had a friend who had a nervous breakdown and went to Nepal for several months. He came back feeling much better.  I have lost contact with him now but Nepal it certainly helped in his case. 

[Sparktrader]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

But imagine after a year with a boring woman up north he spends a few hours in Soi 6 with the hottest chicks who do their very best to let him see the stars. 

And then: Why did I waste all that time? ???? 

Pattaya has ugly chicks.

[Sparktrader]

Chiang Mai, Bangkok and Khon Kaen have the hottest women.

[greenmonkey]

Hi OP, this place is perfect. It is called the Pa Pae Meditation retreat (google it as I'm not sure if I can post the link), It is a meditation retreat up in the hills near Chiang Mai.

 

It is run by monks who all speak excellent English and they actively encourage foreigners to come join them. It's a chance to get back to nature as you will stay in basic accommodation in the jungle (it is not at a temple) with some stunning scenery. Unlike other meditation retreats it is very casual, it's up to you how much you meditate.

 

You can go out with the monks to do the daily alms of collecting food from the local villagers. You can volunteer to help around the grounds with building projects, gardening or even cooking in the kitchen. There is also a program for foreigners to become monks should you wish to do so. The scenery is beautiful and you are welcome to stay as long as you like. Payment is by donation, they recommend 500 Baht a day but there is absolutely no pressure to pay that and if you are volunteering and helping out around the place you can make a smaller token payment.

 

I have been twice this year, such a wonderful place to spend some time and forget about the daily stresses of life! If you need any more info send me a message! Good Luck.

[Sparktrader]

4 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

I don't mean to be flippant or harsh, but the way to 'find yourself' is to forget yourself. Be for other people and everything you worried about "you" disappears.

 

I'm assuming you have no major health issue or no major biological issue with your brain, like depression, bipolar, etc.

 

I never saw anyone who engaged in navel gazing come out better. People either become even more self-absorbed or else become victim to a 'guru' who preys off people in search of 'something'. Thinking of 'you' is not going to solve the problem of thinking about 'you' too much.  That's like trying to cure your lung cancer by smoking more. I'm not a believer in anything, so going off with monks or gurus would bore me to tears listening to that nonsense and banal drivel.....no matter the faith. They have no non obvious answers to anything, just gibberish. After 2000 or so years they have their shtick down, but it's still gibberish.

 

A recent post by a member suffering, as I do, from prolixity mentions being forever curious. Focus on something outside of yourself.

 

Give yourself to others. Be a friend. Lend an ear. Be a buddy. Compliment somebody. Give something to someone in need. All that creates 'meaning' and takes focus off one's self.

 

We humans are primarily social creatures. Unless one is trying to solve a riddle or produce the Unified Field Theory, going off by one's self just makes people worse. The world becomes all about "Me", and that is the road to perdition.

 

Forget "You" to find you.

 

 

I spent 15 years helping others. Made me depressed. Now I just help myself. Feel better.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, JimTripper said:

One way you could find yourself is stop taking advice. You basically become other people when you take advice, to the extent that it influences your decisions.

You can let other people inspire you.

Maybe an artist inspires you to paint or make music.

Maybe an engineer inspires you to invent something.

Maybe a farmer inspires you to look at nature or maybe do nothing for a whole day.

 

I think we can learn a lot from others. We can listen to them. Maybe they call it advice or maybe not. And we can see for ourselves if it might be relevant for us and our lives. 

[OneMoreFarang]

16 minutes ago, Alidiver said:

I have stayed in a temple.

You better find one that has hotel facilities.

Golden Buddha Pattaya, I had to get up 03:00 to put out prayer books, pray at 04:00, clean temple, breakfast then free time to meditate, lunch at 12:00 which was the last meal of the day, more prayers and more cleaning in the afternoon, bed at 19:00.

Oh, and slept on the floor with no air con or western toilets.

Loved it but was only for a short stay.

I think the idea about that routine is to make your life different and maybe uncomfortable. And because it is routine and boring it gives you time to contemplate life. 

[Sparktrader]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think the idea about that routine is to make your life different and maybe uncomfortable. And because it is routine and boring it gives you time to contemplate life. 

It sounds like punishment, then you appreciate general life more. Maybe a good idea. Get up 3am everyday for a week feel missrable then you enjoy normal living.

[Captor]

You are in the right place already. All wisdom out there is here at asean now.

[blackshadow]

go to koh kood near koh chang !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Skeptic7]

15 hours ago, BostonJoe said:

Okay I'm lost 

See, now you need to find yourself❗

[jvs]

16 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Im 62 and I just will take a year off from my work to find myself

 

I'm thinking going to Thailand for a few months to live in a temple with monks,can  that be done?

 

Somewhere away from life, quiet rural away from people etc 

.I had a workmate years ago go through a bitter divorce,he went to some place in the Philippines some island I don't know where but lived by himself for a few months 

.

Have you ever had to do this or done this ?

Running away from yourself is not the answer,because that is what you are trying to do.

First of all you have to learn to accept who and what you are and learn to like yourself.

Once you have done that you can go take off some where and you know you will be in good company,yourself!

Been there done that.

[JimTripper]

24 minutes ago, jvs said:

Running away from yourself is not the answer,because that is what you are trying to do.

First of all you have to learn to accept who and what you are and learn to like yourself.

Once you have done that you can go take off some where and you know you will be in good company,yourself!

Been there done that.

Taking a year off work is not really running from himself. Could be quite the opposite for many people who have not found their true calling in their jobs.

[Iamfalang]

This thread is still going!!!!

 

Let's say I came to Thailand to "find myself," which could be possible.   I really came to avoid my ex and all the financial headaches of separation, but I guess I was escaping, getting a new start, and "understanding my feelings" towards the universe.   

 

What have I "learned" in LOS along these lines..............

 

1.  Stay relatively fit.  Being fit makes you look better, and allows you to deal with more things in life.  fit body, fit brain, strong immune system, confidence, etc...

2.  Emotional Intelligence.   Be honest about why you are upset, plan solutions, choose, act.   If acting is to do nothing, that's still acting.  

3.  Work, be around people.    Stay busy, not too busy, but busy.

4.  Get another hobby besides exercise, and get better at it.

5.  Don't be the victim

6.  Forgive.

 

OK, LOS allows me to do all BUT Number 6.  hahahhahahhaa.   5555.    Listen, when a lady takes about 10 million baht more than you think she deserves ,well, forgiveness is hard.   lol.   

 

Going forward:

7.   become a billionaire.  

 

I want to try this.     The plan?     Not sure.   5555.   

[brotherother]

I found this a great watch (available on the BBC):

 

 https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/may/28/a-battery-drain-on-my-mind-body-and-soul-warwick-thornton-on-why-he-needed-to-escape-in-the-bbeach

Edited October 22, 2022 by brotherother

[jvs]

3 hours ago, JimTripper said:

Taking a year off work is not really running from himself. Could be quite the opposite for many people who have not found their true calling in their jobs.

Going to find one self sounds very much like running away to me.

Thinking somewhere else things are going to be better is just procrastinating .

If you are at peace with yourself there is no need to go find yourself.

I really do not like that expression by the way.

[Hummin]

18 minutes ago, jvs said:

Going to find one self sounds very much like running away to me.

Thinking somewhere else things are going to be better is just procrastinating .

If you are at peace with yourself there is no need to go find yourself.

I really do not like that expression by the way.

Sometimes changes is good, but radical changes? I do not know, but if you like mountains, stay in a cabin in the mountains, good for you, but trying to escape in a different culture? Joining a tribe, cult or religion? Not so sure. But many had pleasure in learning Thai Chi and Qigong at retreats who offer healthy balanced retreats that do not brainwash you in to a freak. 

[jerrymahoney]

From today's NY Times :

 

How George Clooney and Julia Roberts Quietly Became the Tracy-Hepburn of Our Time

 

They both praise and roast each other, in interviews and at public events, a tradition that goes back to even before the release of their first film: At a dinner honoring her in March 2001, Clooney called Roberts “a confidante — someone you could call up day or night, and she’d have her assistant call me back.” 

[Kwasaki]

6 hours ago, Sparktrader said:

Pattaya has ugly chicks.

Not if you drink this. ????

 

 

 

 

[JimTripper]

5 hours ago, jvs said:

Going to find one self sounds very much like running away to me.

Thinking somewhere else things are going to be better is just procrastinating .

If you are at peace with yourself there is no need to go find yourself.

I really do not like that expression by the way.

You sound really confused! ????

[Fat is a type of crazy]

Depends on your personality type. Dropping out and staying in bed all day for a while helps some. Being under the wing of others in a monastery or medical care helps others. Getting back on the horse and seeing friends and family and helping others could be good. Having fun and spending money on yourself might help too. Doing things that you can be proud of may assist. 

What is the problem? Where are you hitting a barrier that causes you discomfort or distress or makes you feel lost? Stop doing those things if possible. The solution has to be linked with reality i.e. if you leave work that may make you happy for now but more sad in the future. 

Edited October 23, 2022 by Fat is a type of crazy

[Orinoco]

20 hours ago, Sparktrader said:

Pattaya has ugly chicks.

Hello Bs Alert.

In a different thread a few weeks back you stated you have never been to

pattaya.  Oops, 

 

Edited October 23, 2022 by Orinoco