Thai Family Bust Ups

[NONG CHOK]

Hi all, I'm a very easy going person, maybe to easy. My wife recently had real Issan drama with one of her daughters. I tried to cool the situation down but soon realised the blame would get  reverted to me so I backed off. Now we've been evicted from our holiday house that I built on the daughters land up north. Things were going fine for 20 years and now we've been cut off from her other kids too. Her kids are all in there 40's, I know my wife has a big mouth but so has her kids. It's all so petty over a very trivial matter. For so called devout Buddhists I've never seen so much hate for each other.  I'm a total non believer of any religion and I've never hated people they way they do, especially family members. I'm caught up in this, I'm not going to leave my wife but it's very tempting, I don't need this sh#t at my age.

[steven100]

As you said ... you certainly don't need that sh_t at your age or any age if you built the holiday house and gave alot of support and money over the years.  Why should you put up with that cr_p.

I have always said and some on her agree,  you will never understand thai people and quite frankly I don't want to as they are so false in my book.  

[NONG CHOK]

You nailed it Steven, may I add one of her daughters and her partner lived with us for 4 years, rent free including services. As for the trouble maker we took care of her son for 3-4 years so she could go to work. Every few weeks we took him on holidays of his choice. For what?

[PJ71]

Give them SFA - leeches.

[Lucky Bones]

2 hours ago, NONG CHOK said:

You nailed it Steven, may I add one of her daughters and her partner lived with us for 4 years, rent free including services. As for the trouble maker we took care of her son for 3-4 years so she could go to work. Every few weeks we took him on holidays of his choice. For what?

Nong, your post seems to be a jumbled ramble tamble making zero sense.

What exactly is the problem?????????

[ChrisP24]

10 minutes ago, Lucky Bones said:

Nong, your post seems to be a jumbled ramble tamble making zero sense.

What exactly is the problem?????????

Umm, thanks for the very nice supportive post.   He's under stress, and understandably so. 

[Lucky Bones]

4 minutes ago, ChrisP24 said:

Umm, thanks for the very nice supportive post.   He's under stress, and understandably so. 

My post wasn't meant to be positive, negative, supportive or whatever.

Question stands: What is the problem?

Maybe needs professional help?????????

[1FinickyOne]

3 hours ago, NONG CHOK said:

Every few weeks we took him on holidays of his choice. For what?

you should have taken my nephews and nieces, they are appreciative... 

[1FinickyOne]

32 minutes ago, Lucky Bones said:

Nong, your post seems to be a jumbled ramble tamble making zero sense.

What exactly is the problem?????????

And what is the other side of it? 

[jacko45k]

Is it possible you are too easy going and let your wife wear the pants?

Oh well, you got 20 years out of it, that is pretty good.....

If you are not enjoying life, make the break, although you already say you will not leave her..... (is she perhaps going through the change?)

[KhunLA]

9 minutes ago, jacko45k said:

Is it possible you are too easy going and let your wife wear the pants?

Oh well, you got 20 years out of it, that is pretty good.....

If you are not enjoying life, make the break, although you already say you will not leave her..... (is she perhaps going through the change?)

Not if her kids are in their 40s, as puts her in the 60+ age bracket.

 

With this statement ... " I know my wife has a big mouth"

Maybe mom is a bit too controlling, or tries to be, over her adult kids, and they've had enough.

 

I know when my mother went to live with brother & their late teen kids, it turned into a conflict of too many hens in the house.  Mom was always telling the kids parents to go easy on them, as grandmas tend to do, and that didn't go over well, when parents tried to instill so discipline.

[Kenny202]

Kinda sums most of it up for me living in Thailand with a Thai. "I'm too old for this shet!" Find myself saying it every day

[garrya]

Well, a bit of a cash handout may solve the problems! (Pun intended)

 

Unfortunately, I have seen this numerous times. What is more shocking for me that suddenly, one day, they start acting as if nothing has ever happened. 

 

[steven100]

On 11/17/2022 at 9:06 PM, PJ71 said:

Give them SFA - leeches.

absolutely .... I use to help but not anymore, and when you don't oblige they stop talking to you ... haha

 

[PJ71]

31 minutes ago, steven100 said:

absolutely .... I use to help but not anymore, and when you don't oblige they stop talking to you ... haha

 

Perfect.

[Kenny202]

I don't get involved in any of that stuff anymore....I don't do temples, weddings, funerals, villages. I don't hand money out or go out of my way to help anyone to much. It never got me anywhere before ....if anything helping people here seems to give them either the idea you are stupid or causes jealousy or some other issues. As far as living with a woman I am kind, generous and considerate etc but I am 100% capable of taking care of myself in every respect re cooking, cleaning the home....taking care of my son. I don't play this ridiculous Thai game of "opposite world" where I am expected to be handing out money, allowances, buying homes etc to support someone who is capable of very little generally and who is getting a much better life / future than she previously had. Usually all I ask for in a relationship these days is happiness / companionship. And I don't mean this in a derogatory way or have an "if you don't like it <deleted> off" attitude. It just doesn't make sense to me to have someone that isn't enriching your life in some respect...putting up with bad moods, an entitled attitude and be paying for the privilege as well. If her family cold shoulder me or gives the silent treatment because I am not kickin the money tin to support their gambling and other vices who cares? Means they wont be asking for anything else aka their never ending list of problems they have that can all be solved by money (ours). 

 

Have asked a few girls what am I getting out of this arrangement and they normally say something like I live with you every day" or "you get my body". I always remind them easy for foreigners to find sex here and I was getting more of that when I was single...What else are you bringing to the table?   

[NONG CHOK]

I've been married to a Thai lady for the past 22 years Kenny and I totally agree with everything you said. Recently I let it be known to her indoors and her mature aged daughters that the party is over. It went over like a lead balloon. My wife asked me how would I get on living by myself. I replied, that I've been doing that for the past 7-8 years. I then asked her the same question, of course no answer. Just the old  Isaan hissy fit. Cheers. 

[Kenny202]

10 minutes ago, NONG CHOK said:

I've been married to a Thai lady for the past 22 years Kenny and I totally agree with everything you said. Recently I let it be known to her indoors and her mature aged daughters that the party is over. It went over like a lead balloon. My wife asked me how would I get on living by myself. I replied, that I've been doing that for the past 7-8 years. I then asked her the same question, of course no answer. Just the old  Isaan hissy fit. Cheers. 

Best of luck with it bro. Problem is they never seem to learn or grow, just constant childish games of one ups man ship...probably better described as brinksmanship. Like a war where one person has to win and the other is kicked to the kerb. Practically daring you to finish with them when all you can see are the benefits of ending said unproductive relationship. I have always given fair warning and it never makes any difference. Even after being warned 50 times and told exactly what was going to happen..... when you finally do move them on the look of puzzlement on their faces and then 6 months of tears and trying to get back with you. And it is never a satisfying feeling more of sadness of why didn't you make some sort of effort when were together before it was too late? And now it IS too late.....

[KhaoYai]

Sounds like a strange family - I've heard of fights in families but never between a mother and her kids.  The norm in Thai families is that the Matriarch is all powerful - even when she's wrong, she's not and the kids all Kow Tow to her whims.

 

Are you sure you are being told the truth - given what I said above, a trivial matter shouldn't cause such aggro.

[Kenny202]

1 hour ago, KhaoYai said:

Sounds like a strange family - I've heard of fights in families but never between a mother and her kids.  The norm in Thai families is that the Matriarch is all powerful - even when she's wrong, she's not and the kids all Kow Tow to her whims.

 

Are you sure you are being told the truth - given what I said above, a trivial matter shouldn't cause such aggro.

Depends on which generation we are talking about. Same all over the world now. Why many kids coming out of school now unemployable. They think it's all about them