I got angry today, as always "thai people know it better, your way might work in farangland, but this is Thailand" ...

[AndyAndyAndy]

I lived here for 9 years, cool stuff. But one thing that always gets me going is "listen to that Thai person, he is Thai and he is right, you're just a farang" and "yeah, yeah, yeah, your way might work in farangland, but this is Thailand".

 

Like, we are in Laos. Some festival. They are shooting stuff in the air. Thai lady on holidays says to my wife "that will make a big holes into clouds and make a big rain". And my wife goes "of course, how did I not think about that, you're so right". I'm in total misbelieve, thinking that I misunderstand entire conversation as they speak Thai. No, I did not. Long story short, we cancel our 'kayaking on river' plan for the afternoon and spend entire sunny evening in hotel room in expectations of heavy rains. My explaining and pleading has no effects as THIS IS THAILAND (Laos technically), CLOUDS MIGHT WORK LIKE THAT IN FARANGLAND, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW THEY WORK HERE, BECAUSE THAT THAI LADY JUST SAID SO

 

3 days later heavy rain comes, which solidifies my wife's believe that it's 1:0 for Thailand (to this day during arguments she uses "... that time it rained in Laos ...")

 

 

 

Back in Thailand. Walking in a park. Thai guy comes to us "do not go any further, there might be wild Thai tigers in the bushes". My wife goes full panic mode. Thanking him for saving us. Looking at me in disbelieve into what situation I got her again. It was my idea after all to go into this park. I try to bring reason into this situation BUT THIS IS THAILAND AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS HERE, YOU SHOULD WATCH AND LEARN FROM THAI PEOPLE I try to use logic BUT THAI MAN JUST SAID THAT ... We did not make any step further. We went back.

 

Below is exact location of the incident.

 

 

Below is roof I made alone. I welded all that stuff, all my work. This morning my wife comes THAI GUY JUST CALLED ME, HE SAW YOU WORKING, HE TOLD ME TO STOP YOU, LET HIM FINISH HIM THIS JOB. (I'm at the point where you put last 3 metal sheets by screwing last 18 screws) I call him over, what's the issue? YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT NO GOOD, LET ME DO IT I laid previous 6 metal sheets, would you did it differently? NO, I'M GOING TO FINISH IT SAME AS YOU'RE GOING TO, BUT YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT NO GOOD (because you're farang), I'M GOING TO MAKE IT GOOD you wanna just make money by doing it? NO, JUST BUY ME FEW BEERS 

 

My wife going full panic mode OMG YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT NO GOOD, LET THE THAI MAN HANDLE IT. I'm telling her to show me some deficits in my work. She's goes  YOU HAVE TO OPEN YOUR MIND, JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE NO DEFICITS TO SHOW DOESN'T MEAN YOU WILL NOT DO IT NO GOOD

 

So, basically I have 2 options tomorrow:

 

1) I'll hire Thai guy to lay down last 3 metals sheets of big project for absolutely no reason at all (which I seriously considered, because second option is:)

 

2) I will finish it by myself in about 2 hours and my wife will refuse for next 50 years park any motorcycle under this roof - because THAI PERSON SAID I WOULD DO IT NO GOOD, SO IT IS NO GOOD

 

 

At this point I'm seriously convinced that if I caught my wife cheating on me with Thai guy, Thai people would collectively come to a conclusion that FARANG CAN'T IT DO PROPERLY, SO IT WAS ONLY LOGICAL TO LET IT MAKE THAI GUY DO GOOD and I would ended up being bad for NOT BEING ENOUGHT OPEN MINED ABOUT THAI SUPERIORITY AND ACKNOWLEDGING MY LIMITS.  Also it seems like only time where is the time to let farang handle the situation is when is the time to open the wallet. That's only when Thai superiority little bit lacks.

 

Thanks for reading my blog post.

 

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by AndyAndyAndy

[ChrisP24]

Love the map of the (narrowly averted!) wild tiger incident.

 

On the garage roof, maybe if you do it yourself your way, then for the next 50 years it will remain your space as it will be "too unsafe" for your wife's motorbike, stored items, etc. 

[Lucky Bones]

2 options?

I would have thought the 3rd option is a shoo-in.????????

[soi3eddie]

Me thinks someone's enjoyed the dispensary too much. Entertaining reading though. 

 

[Lemsta69]

Your wife doesn't respetc you. Get a new one that does ????

[KhunLA]

Tigers at Nong Prajack Park, a city park at that, all those years there, I was so lucky.

 

I couldn't live with someone that ignorant.

[Lemsta69]

9 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

I couldn't live with someone that ignorant.

I was sweet on a coyote dancer at my nearest chrome pole palace. no intention of taking things further for obvious reasons but I did enjoy spending time with her. until ... I was admiring her new fake YSL handbag and found out she doesn't know who Yves Saint Laurent was! ????

 

 

[kwonitoy]

Years ago when the very first Spiderman movie came out, we were watching it at home via DVD

About half way through my wife asks me if this is a real movie, depicting actual events.

I said no, it's fiction.

She said, "I think it's real"

Case closed.

Edited November 18, 2022 by kwonitoy

[it is what it is]

 

thankfully, i only date educated, professional thai women, many of whom have traveled extensively, and so have never had to deal with such parochial views on life.

 

 

 

[Maha Sarakham]

39 minutes ago, it is what it is said:

thankfully, i only date educated, professional thai women, many of whom have traveled extensively, and so have never had to deal with such parochial views on life.

Really comes down to the individual and their education, life experiences and awareness of the world that exists outside of Thailand (yes, there is one).

[JeffersLos]

You've put that roof up incorrectly. 

[BangkokReady]

I would assume that by marrying a Thai woman you got a younger and more attractive woman than you would have done back home?  And she does stuff for you that a Western woman hopped up on feminism wouldn't do (cooking, cleaning, being supportive, etc.)?  Swings and roundabouts.

 

The problem is that a lot of Thai people don't really get a very good education, and the extent of that education is really simply indoctrination into Thailand being the best country in the world, Thai people being the best people in the world, believing in Buddhism, never questioning anything, and so on, to make them easy to control.  It's also one of the reasons Thai people often seem so happy and content and get on so well with each other.  Swings and roundabouts again.

 

Obviously not all are like this, but your one is.  For her to think otherwise might cause her some sort of psychological harm, so you're looking at quite the challenge if you wanted to break her programming, especially while she will be regularly getting "software updates" from friends, family, and the media.

 

With the roof thing, the guy is trying to swindle you and your wife is willing to allow it, simply because she believes what the guy says because he is Thai and you are not.  She believes that and also that because you are foreign, the work will automatically be bad.  A pretty bad situation.

 

It's probably up to you to try and find a way to balance things and cope with the situation.  If she thinks that the laws of science that apply in the rest of the world, don't apply in Thailand, or that a foreigner will do an inferior job to a Thai, simply by the nature of them being foreign, you may never be able to make her see sense.  At her core she must be deeply racist and prejudiced against foreigners.

 

Perhaps just do what you want and try to ignore her?  It doesn't sound like a very positive situation, having your wife continually undermine you and defer to Thai men/people over everything, especially when it has a detrimental effect.

 

Is leaving an option?

Edited November 19, 2022 by BangkokReady

[Orinoco]

It could just be this. 

 

 

[Pawpcorn]

41 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I would assume that by marrying a Thai woman you got a younger and more attractive woman than you would have done back home?  And she does stuff for you that a Western woman hopped up on feminism wouldn't do (cooking, cleaning, being supportive, etc.)?  Swings and roundabouts.

 

The problem is that a lot of Thai people don't really get a very good education, and the extent of that education is really simply indoctrination into Thailand being the best country in the world, Thai people being the best people in the world, believing in Buddhism, never questioning anything, and so on, to make them easy to control.  It's also one of the reasons Thai people often seem so happy and content and get on so well with each other.  Swings and roundabouts again.

 

Obviously not all are like this, but your one is.  For her to think otherwise might cause her some sort of psychological harm, so you're looking at quite the challenge if you wanted to break her programming, especially while she will be regularly getting "software updates" from friends, family, and the media.

 

It's probably up to you to try and find a way to balance things and cope with the situation.  If she thinks that the laws of science that apply in the rest of the world, don't apply in Thailand, or that a foreigner will do an inferior job to a Thai, simply by the nature of them being foreign, you may never be able to make her see sense.  At her core she must be deeply racist and prejudiced against foreigners.

 

Perhaps just do what you want and try to ignore her?

Well thought out explanation, I couldn't say it better.

 

The belief in magic and mysticism runs deep here.

 

She doesn't sound willing to listen to you, nor accept your logic; I'd say it's pointless to fight it.

 

Like BangkokReady suggested, just "do what you want, and try to ignore her."

 

Resistance is futile. They have been assimilated. Take the good with the good; try to see it as your free education into Thai-ism, and try to avoid being supremely frustrated. It's bad for your mental and physical health.

 

Surely there's a humorous side to all this? Who knows, she COULD be right, .000001% of the time! ????

 

Edit addendum: There ARE occasions where "The Thai Way" will make better sense (in Thailand, or in Thai situations)... surprising, to our Western mind, but nevertheless true. 

 

Have you EVER been able to teach her ANYTHING, or open her mind to a different way of seeing or understanding ANYTHING? Even once?

Edited November 19, 2022 by Pawpcorn
An addendum

[Pawpcorn]

P.S. Has she EVER shown/taught YOU a better, more logical way to do something or handle a THAI situation here, than you would have thought of?

[ColeBOzbourne]

Wow, a new record. Fifteen replies and nobody has asked about his work permit to complete the roof. Of course somebody did suggest he get rid of his wife and get another one...another standard reply.

[Boyn]

My wife has similar views but has learnt to keep to herself

[Lucky Bones]

11 hours ago, kwonitoy said:

Years ago when the very first Spiderman movie came out, we were watching it at home via DVD

About half way through my wife asks me if this is a real movie, depicting actual events.

I said no, it's fiction.

She said, "I think it's real"

Case closed.

Possibly real. Seems to be a lot of people climbing onto their roofs lately.

German overstayer included.????????

[Lucky Bones]

59 minutes ago, Pawpcorn said:

P.S. Has she EVER shown/taught YOU a better, more logical way to do something or handle a THAI situation here, than you would have thought of?

Is her name Lek?

And does she have a brother named Somchai who rides a sidecar with 2 soi dogs?

[AndyFoxy]

Good rant. By the way, she wouldn't be sleeping with any Thai man. It would be her brother.

Edited November 19, 2022 by AndyFoxy

[Lemsta69]

11 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

thankfully, i only date educated, professional thai women, many of whom have traveled extensively, and so have never had to deal with such parochial views on life.

 

 

 

I'd like to date those types of women too but I'm poor, uneducated and badly dressed so I don't stand a chance ????

[BangkokReady]

30 minutes ago, ColeBOzbourne said:

Wow, a new record. Fifteen replies and nobody has asked about his work permit to complete the roof. Of course somebody did suggest he get rid of his wife and get another one...another standard reply.

Lol.  I wondered how long it would be before someone from the "more Thai than you" brigade paid a visit to the thread!

[fondue zoo]

Please tell me there's a room with a pinned string board and lots of photos/notes...  standing there late at night.. "this means something"   ????

Edited November 19, 2022 by fondue zoo

[Laphroaig27]

Best post I've read in weeks.

 

 

 

But why did you marry her?

 

Guess I'm lucky my wife thinks I'm pretty clever and with six trips, months in US and visiting other countries she clearly understands the best way isn't always the Thai way. I kinda pity that ignorance although I work with educated people who hold similar opinion

Edited November 19, 2022 by Laphroaig27

[Walker88]

12 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

thankfully, i only date educated, professional thai women, many of whom have traveled extensively, and so have never had to deal with such parochial views on life.

 

 

 

Perhaps you just haven't gotten an example yet. Not in Thailand, not in any country, does 'well educated and professional' prevent abject idiocy.

 

Here's one....

 

College degree, travel to several countries, including EU nations. Professional, holding down a good job in marketing.....

 

We're taking a walk at night. There's a full moon, and on this day and with the angle of view, it looks quite close. Just for laughs---and not expecting anything other than a laugh---I ask, "What do you think is farther away....the moon or Pattaya?"

 

Her answer:  Pattaya.

 

"Why?", I ask.

 

"Because I can see the moon from here, but I cannot see Pattaya."

 

I decided to call a taxi and ask to be taken to the Pleiades Cluster, because I can see it in the night sky, and it's barely outside of the Milky Way galaxy. Ought to be less than 1500 baht to get there, as that's what Pattaya costs from Bangkok.

[Bert got kinky]

 

To the OP:

This 'quaintness' will never do away.

As long as you allow her to treat you like a dog and she views you below Thia men, you will be constantly fighting to get even the plainest and most obviously correct point across.

Many years ago I dated a Thai woman just like this and it near on drove me crazy.

Your wife believes that you are incompetent because you are a farang and only sees you as as buffalo.

Her actions are the very definition of racism.

 

If you want to live a happy life, where you are not having to constantly fight just to get the simplest point across, you really do need to grow a pair and learn how to stand up to your wife's racist nonsense.

 

 

Edited November 19, 2022 by Bert got kinky

[curtklay]

Reminds me of when I had a/c units installed at my house. I noticed they didn't run ground wires. When I asked why, they said "No need. Electricity different in Thailand". I insisted they ground the units. With the amount of rainfall and lightning they get here, I was astounded at their ignorance.

 

[edwardflory]

My favorite: 1 day out of "best if used by",  NO BUY, NO BUY YOU GET CANCER, THROW GARBAGE"  A Thai woman on YouTube say this, so GF believe.... seriously!!

[Photoguy21]

13 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

thankfully, i only date educated, professional thai women, many of whom have traveled extensively, and so have never had to deal with such parochial views on life.

 

 

 

I guess you dont get out much

[seedy]

48 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

Here's one....

"Because I can see the moon from here, but I cannot see Pattaya."

555 - made my day