Whoops! Avoiding cultural faux pas when visiting Thailand

[ericthai]

11 hours ago, BritManToo said:

This is nothing to do with Buddhism.

Thailand is a primitive society that mixes animism and magic (+ a bit of Hinduism) with Buddhism.

What about western guys that wear a crucifix on their necklaces? Are they primitive too? 

Don't they believe wearing a crucifix or some other religious medal is going to protect them? 

[Lucky Bones]

13 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

FACE the all time fall back to not telling someone they are wrong in public.  

 

My GF refuses to send food back as she says the cook will loose FACE. We just don't eat it and never go back.....how can one learn from mistakes if not told.....end of rant.

New GF?????????

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, ericthai said:

What about western guys that wear a crucifix on their necklaces? Are they primitive too? 

Don't they believe wearing a crucifix or some other religious medal is going to protect them? 

Hardly any western guys wear a crucifix.

Don't think I've ever seen one while in Thailand.

[jacko45k]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Hardly any western guys wear a crucifix.

Don't think I've ever seen one while in Thailand.

I saw one guy with a large one strapped to his back in Father Rays Place. 

[Lucky Bones]

13 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

FACE the all time fall back to not telling someone they are wrong in public.  

 

My GF refuses to send food back as she says the cook will loose FACE. We just don't eat it and never go back.....how can one learn from mistakes if not told.....end of rant.

I would have gobbled down her share.

After all, you paid for it.????????

[ThailandRyan]

31 minutes ago, ericthai said:

What about western guys that wear a crucifix on their necklaces? Are they primitive too? 

Don't they believe wearing a crucifix or some other religious medal is going to protect them? 

I have a St. Christopher's medal I wear. Worn it for 40 years.....it does clash with my Sak Yant tattoos however....

[ThailandRyan]

22 minutes ago, Lucky Bones said:

I would have gobbled down her share.

After all, you paid for it.????????

????

[zyphodb]

41 minutes ago, ericthai said:

What about western guys that wear a crucifix on their necklaces? Are they primitive too? 

Don't they believe wearing a crucifix or some other religious medal is going to protect them? 

Yes they are...

[quake]

The face thing is just mostly, out dated BS.

Grow up Thailand. 

[spidermike007]

Some of us utterly refuse to acknowledge the face thing. That is on them. Not us. I will not cower to accommodate their cultural weakness. Sorry. 

 

It comes down to perhaps the single most significant weakness most Thai people have. The pathological fear of losing face. Who cares what people think of you? For those of us with high self esteem, it just does not matter. Sure, close friends and family. But strangers on the street? Who gives a rat's butt about this? It means nothing what they think, nor what they say about you. Nothing, less than zero. They count for nothing. They are just people, and people you do not know, nor will ever see again. Face is rife with self doubt, and by subscribing to this weakness, and man or woman is made a far lesser person. I consider the practice of face to be the polar opposite of the practice of Buddhism, which teaches the need for introspection, contemplation, owning up to a problem, and taking responsibility for issues, problems and tragedies that you create in life.

 

As many of us know, a percentage of the Thai population lives within fairly small boxes, of social convention, traditions and expectations, especially on the part of the family. That is not a life that some of us choose. Those that are bold and courageous, will find a way to break past conventions, and live a fulfilling life, based on their own choices, independence, and esteem.

 

Many years ago my motorbike was parked outside of a bar, and some fool drove by trying to squeeze in between an oncoming car and the bikes. He smashed into about 5 bikes. Then he gets up and drives away. I asked the bartender if she recognized him and she said, yeah we all know who he is. The police found him within an hour. 

We met at the police station. I told him exactly what I thought of him. That he was not a man. That he was a tiny coward for running away. That he was not raised correctly. He was shocked. Guess nobody had ever told him the truth before. He was obviously an overly coddled creep. He even asked me to lie to his insurance company about what happened. I told him that I was not going to help him with his failed life. That was on him. 

 

The issue is that in Thailand's effort to help people to avoid responsibility for their actions, they did not seem to create a hit and run law. So, it is the same if you stop, or if you run. Same seems to apply when someone is hurt or killed. What can one say? Face is one of the greatest weaknesses within Thai society. It is a blight. I am not about to accommodate this weakness. 

[mikebell]

Whoops!  Sounding your horn is another cultural faux pas which could get you killed at the next traffic light.

[quake]

Just now, mikebell said:

Whoops!  Sounding your horn is another cultural faux pas which could get you killed at the next traffic light.

It all depends on how big your Horn is, now days.

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, ericthai said:

What about western guys that wear a crucifix on their necklaces? Are they primitive too? 

Don't they believe wearing a crucifix or some other religious medal is going to protect them? 

I think the "primitive" suggests a belief that is perhaps somewhat archaic and anti science, sort of like believing in magic, luck etc..

 

The difference would be the Thai person wearing an amulet and believing that it will keep them safe, or surviving a near fatal car accident and believing it was down to the amulet or blessing that their car received, and a Westerner wearing a cross and simply seeing it as a sign of their religion.

 

The difference seems fairly clear to me, although it's a subjective judgement.

[cdemundo]

13 hours ago, BritManToo said:

This is nothing to do with Buddhism.

Thailand is a primitive society that mixes animism and magic (+ a bit of Hinduism) with Buddhism.

Among other superstitions, Catholics in my childhood neighborhood in the USA believed that if you buried a statue of Saint Joseph upside down in the yard of a house you were trying sell, you would get saintly assistance to sell your home.

Pretty sure the Vatican did not promote this belief.

 

Point being other religions in other societies also have superstition that attaches itself to religion.

Not a function of Thailand being a primitive society in my opinion.

 

Irrational thinking and wishful thinking are part of human nature, witness the prevalence of casinos in nations with compulsory education that should be sufficient to teach us we are very unlikely to win against the house.

 

[Joseph98765]

14 hours ago, Andre0720 said:

This text as been written probably a few decades ago.... There are so many more aspects of Thai culture or absence thereof beyond these mother goose statements.

That's right.... and some updated, like "get out of my way!!" on the road when a pick up is behind you...

[jacko45k]

3 hours ago, Bim Smith said:

Why I never eat out with Thai people. The sharing of food and utensils sends me insane. I sit on a table on my own until they finish and eat privately at home. I did it once and I can't eat spicy food. They all helped themselves to what I ordered and left me with nothing and I couldn't eat their spicy food. What's the point in ordering anything. 

 

As for the wearing of amulets that is more superstition than religion. More animism to accurate. 

I have shirked food a few times having seen it picked over with bare hands!

[khunjeff]

2 hours ago, JayClay said:

There's nothing like a bit of sensationalism to make a story glow, ah? Never mind accuracy.

 

Maybe 20 years ago I once came across somebody who was mildly surprised, at most, when I told them I was going out to lunch by myself.

 

In this day and age, and certainly in tourist areas, I doubt anybody ever even raises an eyebrow at the concept.

The article is mostly utter claptrap. In Bangkok, street stalls, small restaurants, and even mall restaurants always have many Thais - usually office workers - eating alone. It's totally normal, and no one bats an eye. 

[Bangkok Barry]

15 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

If you can't tell someone how something needs to be corrected to cook it rigght or do it right how can they ever learn how to do it right is what I meant.

And that is exactly why Thailand is backward in so many areas. Ignorance isn't not knowing, it's not wanting to know. The country was once summed up perfectly to me in just six words by a Korean tv producer I worked with here - The standards here are so low. If I went into what led her to that conclusion you'd shake your head in disbelief.

[Bangkok Barry]

3 hours ago, ericthai said:

What about western guys that wear a crucifix on their necklaces? Are they primitive too? 

Don't they believe wearing a crucifix or some other religious medal is going to protect them? 

No. They wear it as a symbol of their faith, not to assure them that they can drive like a lunatic and not come to any harm. Very big difference.

Edited March 9, 2023 by Bangkok Barry

[EVENKEEL]

5 hours ago, Bim Smith said:

Why I never eat out with Thai people. The sharing of food and utensils sends me insane. I sit on a table on my own until they finish and eat privately at home. I did it once and I can't eat spicy food. They all helped themselves to what I ordered and left me with nothing and I couldn't eat their spicy food. What's the point in ordering anything. 

 

As for the wearing of amulets that is more superstition than religion. More animism to accurate. 

Any relation to Bob??    

[Bangkok Barry]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

But strangers on the street? Who gives a rat's butt about this? It means nothing what they think, nor what they say about you. Nothing, less than zero. They count for nothing. They are just people, and people you do not know, nor will ever see again.

Agree with all you say. And the quote above is something I've many times written about on Facebook. People get upset, even suicidal, about comments from total strangers. Very strange. Even stranger, people such as sports stars or other high profile personalities, set up a social media platform which presents a ready-made platform for anyone to abuse them. They only have themselves to blame.

 

What they should do, and I guess there are many who do as they have a brain, is set up a profile with a name that no stranger could guess and give it only to those they trust. Would they give out their phone number to all and sundry? Of course not. Yet they give their on-line contact info out to the entire planet.

[quake]

18 minutes ago, Bangkok Barry said:

What they should do, and I guess there are many who do as they have a brain, is set up a profile with a name that no stranger could guess and give it only to those they trust. 

That's what I do.

Works fine for the last 10 years.

 

 

[chilli42]

17 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

FACE the all time fall back to not telling someone they are wrong in public.  

 

My GF refuses to send food back as she says the cook will loose FACE. We just don't eat it and never go back.....how can one learn from mistakes if not told.....end of rant.

Quite true but no way I am eating what the chef sends back after you have refused the dish.

[Walker88]

There is an oft stated myth that Buddhism is unlike any Western religion. Perhaps at the wholesale level that is possibly true (unlikely), but as practiced at the retail level, it's every bit the same as any other manufactured belief system. Adherents expect some action they do will be rewarded or punished by unseen forces that supposedly know all and see all, or that actions have a reaction in the same way Newtonian physics describes laws of existence, motion and force.

 

Those who adopt any belief system do it for the same reason: to wish and hope existence is not totally random and that a single individual is an important part of a gigantic Universe. No different whether its Eastern or Western, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Moslem or whatever.

 

Also, most cultures had other beliefs systems long before founders made up new faiths, and what happens is that the new doctrine gets spread like jam over the pre-existing beliefs. Thus, amulets, luck, lighting candles, making offerings to imaginary beings, chants, etc. At the heart of almost all belief systems is superstition, which seems to be the first aspect of how all human societies since Oldavai Gorge tried to explain existence or make deals with it. The belief system practiced today in Thailand is no different. The oldest superstitions tend to endure, while new superstitions just get added on to what was already there.

[fresher]

5 hours ago, bangon04 said:

In Chinese culture, if you empty your plate it is a criticism of your host for not providing enough food.

Same tradition in my father's family, he always left one pea on the plate. Drove my mother crazy, her family ate everything. All 100% Devonshire (England) people. So these opposing 'cultures' are not confined to China and Thailand.

[Dexxter]

19 hours ago, snoop1130 said:

Else Majesty law

I haven't heard of this one. Who is Else?

[Dexxter]

6 hours ago, Phil1964 said:

Save face on both sides of the conversation!? Nope, Thais believe they are always right and <deleted> what anyone else might think or actually know. 

So many times when I disagree with something my Thai wife say, her response is "You not Thai. You not underscore". (understand) End of argument.

[proton]

16 hours ago, Slip said:

Such arrogance and ignorance.  Thailand is not a primitive society.  Your views certainly are on this matter as others.  I don't disagree with the small facts you manage to state, just your analysis.  At least you are not talking about females for once.

It can be argued a feudal society is primitive and Thai society is certainly feudal. Add to that the widespread belief in ghosts, spirits and magic and it's little more than primitive with a veneer of concrete and neon. 

[Woof999]

The problem I have with "Face" is that the holders of said Face believe that it is the responsibility of others to protect it rather than their own.

 

I have said to my wife many, many times: "If you don't want people to think/say you are a <deleted> then don't be a <deleted>".

[vandeventer]

Thai culture is certainly different than ours, that's why we enjoy living here so much!!!