Divorse or not.

[rutteketuut]

I'm married to Thai lady for 15 years and thinking of leaving her because she drinks Lao Khao and is always drunk. We bought land and house in 2006 ( I have 30 year lease on it) and married for Thai law in 2007. Is it no big deal if I leave her without getting divorsed first? I don't realy care about the property. The property is in her name.

Thanks.

 

[petermik]

Walk away and don`t look back....good luck ????

[Yellowtail]

You should at least try to get her into AA. 

[NativeBob]

So she is basically at her late 40s, right? And alcoholic. No way she would change. Leave her and start over. She's not worthy.

[rutteketuut]

1 minute ago, Yellowtail said:

You should at least try to get her into AA. 

I cannot force her. She says she can stop drinking by herself but it's only getting worse. 

[rutteketuut]

4 minutes ago, NativeBob said:

So she is basically at her late 40s, right? And alcoholic. No way she would change. Leave her and start over. She's not worthy.

She's 52 and I will be 60 in 2 months, Time to start enjoying life again without all that misery.

[NativeBob]

2 minutes ago, rutteketuut said:

I cannot force her. She says she can stop drinking by herself but it's only getting worse. 

Irrelevant what she says. I've seen so many alco stories, ruined families so NO she won't quit. Live your own life and forget about her. The fun (with her booze endeavors) is still ahead and you don't want to witness it.

[BobBKK]

Tell her what it is going to lead to - her choice?  I'd give her 3 months something like that and use that time to move your assets. No kids?

[petermik]

Just now, rutteketuut said:

She's 52 and I will be 60 in 2 months, Time to start enjoying life again without all that misery.

We are here only once.... get away and enjoy life again ????

[OneMoreFarang]

8 minutes ago, rutteketuut said:

Is it no big deal if I leave her without getting divorsed first?

Why don't you get divorced?

That should guarantee that you don't end up with any problems, including debts, in the future.

 

[ezzra]

I'd walk away and tell her that if she ever mend her ways to give you you a call.

[BobBKK]

1 minute ago, ezzra said:

I'd walk away and tell her that if she ever mend her ways to give you you a call.

Whoa!  no, no - it's over if it's over. Don't even think of going back imho.

[chickenslegs]

8 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Why don't you get divorced?

That should guarantee that you don't end up with any problems, including debts, in the future.

 

That's a very good point.

All the debts that are incurred during the marriage will be the responsibility of both the divorcing spouses in Thailand.

https://www.thaiembassy.com/family/divorce-in-thailand

[Mavideol]

Run Forrest, Run....don't look back, I did the same with US wife, married 18 years (stay that long for the kids) she was an alcoholic, AA didn't help as she denied it (being addicted), have been happier ever since running away

Edited June 17, 2023 by Mavideol

[VinnieK]

...and don't marry again.

Too many downsides and very few upsides.

[Denim]

30 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

You should at least try to get her into AA. 

I knew someone who managed to quit drinking by taking up cannabis instead. Being stoned reduced his desire to drink significantly until finally he was ok with just the weed. Of course , this resulted in a new kind of dependence but it was not nearly as bad as being alcoholic and at least when stoned he was still coherent and could function.

 

A lot depends on the individual. If they are intelligent enough to recognize there is a serious problem and something needs to be done it might work. But if they are in denial , not much hope. 

[FritsSikkink]

Best to divorce like others said. You don't want to end up with problems caused by her after leaving.

[Don Chance]

Baclofen suppresses the desire for alcohol and has cured many people. Check the Drink too much Sub.

[rutteketuut]

21 hours ago, BobBKK said:

Tell her what it is going to lead to - her choice?  I'd give her 3 months something like that and use that time to move your assets. No kids?

No kids.

[rutteketuut]

21 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Why don't you get divorced?

That should guarantee that you don't end up with any problems, including debts, in the future.

 

She doesn't want to.

[KhunLA]

22 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

You should at least try to get her into AA. 

I would think during those 15ish yrs, the topic of not being an alky has been discussed.  Failed, and now ready to bail.

 

Wise choice, as why be miserable because of your partner.  Not getting any younger ... enjoy life instead of waiting for someone else to change.

 

For better or worst is fine ... if not self induced.   You're on your own, if throwing you own life away.  Not being an accident or health issue, leave her.  And I don't agree with the sentiment, alcoholism is a disease.  It's self inflicted, that's not a disease.

 

Threw the 1st TH wife out for about the same, drank & gambled too much.  Not nearly as patient as the op, less than 1 yrs and divorced.

 

Too much living to do, to waste on other people.

[OneMoreFarang]

29 minutes ago, rutteketuut said:

She doesn't want to.

And because she doesn't want to that's it?

Do you want to do for the rest of your life what she wants? Do you need to face serious trouble before you make your own decisions?

Grow a pair. Do it!

[bignok]

23 hours ago, rutteketuut said:

She's 52 and I will be 60 in 2 months, Time to start enjoying life again without all that misery.

Then you already know the answer. Don't need to ask others.

[spidermike007]

If you have spoken to her about her problem, and she has no interest in addressing it, or showing any self discipline, leave her as fast as you can. Within the next few days. The clock is ticking, life is flying by at a breakneck pace, and you are wasting away, with someone who is not even remotely worthy of your time and effort. Leave now. And be grateful you got out. It is never too late to start over.

 

They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps. I look around this table, and now I can see why my reputation is in tatters.

 

This is what you see when you are young. Everything seems very close. That is the future. And that is what you see when you are old. Everything seems really far away. That's the past.

 

The future isn't just something that happens. It's a brutal force with a great sense of humor that will steamroll you, if you're not watching.

 

We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.

 

 

[n00dle]

Divorce her and walk away.  Be sure to cut all ties, she will start borrowing money or gambling next if she hasnt already. 

[Liverpool Lou]

On 6/17/2023 at 11:35 AM, Yellowtail said:

You should at least try to get her into AA. 

Or the RAC.

[Liverpool Lou]

On 6/17/2023 at 11:52 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

Why don't you get divorced?

That should guarantee that you don't end up with any problems, including debts, in the future.

 

I agree about the divorce part but personal debts incurred solely by her would not become his liability if they were not in any way for joint or family purposes.

Edited June 18, 2023 by Liverpool Lou

[Skallywag]

 

On 6/17/2023 at 11:52 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

That should guarantee that you don't end up with any problems, including debts, in the future.

If you have any credit cards together or items bought with payments still outstanding then you are responsible for those debts.

Otherwise as far as I know, you can walk away and are not responsible for your wifes debts while still married in Thailand

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

I agree about the divorce part but personal debts incurred solely by her would not become his liability if they were not in any way for joint or family purposes.

Are you sure you would want to argue about that in Thai court?

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Skallywag said:

If you have any credit cards together or items bought with payments still outstanding then you are responsible for those debts.

Otherwise as far as I know, you can walk away and are not responsible for your wifes debts while still married in Thailand

That reminds me of when the elder sister of my gf died. It seems she had borrowed some money from a local loan shark. It was recommended to me to better pay...

Would it be enforceable in a court of law? I guess not. But ...