Would you ever marry a bar girl? If so, why?

[BusyB]

6 hours ago, bignok said:

Girl with no teeth might be fun

True story: When I was working with the MPs back in the day in Berlin, there was an old woman with no teeth who was renowned, who plied her trade down at '5 Mark Alley', down behind the Central Park. Seemed like no shortage of customers.

[BusyB]

6 hours ago, bob smith said:

I just dont get it.

 

There are OTHER girls in Thailand that are fit for marriage that happen to not work in a bar.

Yeah, but they don't put out for money, and are particular about whom they date.

[bob smith]

Just now, BusyB said:

Yeah, but they don't put out for money

you say that as if its a bad thing??????

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

Very important to remember: a bargirl will never look better than when you first see her in the bar. From that day on, she will look more and more like her mother. And if you have even seen a bargirl's mother, they look like a different species.

And does that rule only apply to bar girls or any girl? 

[BusyB]

2 minutes ago, bob smith said:

you say that as if its a bad thing??????

No. Merely a fact.

[BusyB]

6 hours ago, marin said:

Not to sure about this as one of your first threads was how you took a "girl" to Koh Chang and were shocked she expected to get paid. Not only that but for you were genuinely surprised at the predicament you had gotten yourself in.  By the way, when did "Mrs" Smith come along?

Bob's posts are always good for a laugh, and anyway it's been ages since we had a bargirl thread. They used to sprout like weeds on this forum.

 

Next up: Would You Pay Sin Sot And If So How Much? Been a while since we had one of them as well. Maybe's everyone's getting too old now.

Edited August 5, 2023 by BusyB

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Furioso said:

This strategy might work for a guy over 30:

- Pay for play

- GF with child that you would like to raise as your own

- Marriage with child that you would like to raise as your own

 

Strategies that very well may not work for a guy over 30:

- Marriage, no children

- GF, no children

 

Bar girls are obviously very risky, but it can work out if she's the right girl. TBH most of the ones that work out are when both the guy and girl are very plain. Even then the very plain girl often thinks she's beautiful because she worked in a bar, which screwed up her head but not so much it bothers the new boyfriend/husband. 

Why do guys marry women with children? The guy will never be her first priority. And often he will have to pay for the child.

I understand that there might be a few exceptions when he loves her too much. But otherwise: Don't do it! 

[OneMoreFarang]

33 minutes ago, bob smith said:

why take your chance on a poor, uneducated daughter of a peasant farmer when you can have a well educated woman with a good job. 

Can you have such a girl?

And if yes, what do you do with bar girls on Koh Changi? 

[bob smith]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And if yes, what do you do with bar girls on Koh Changi? 

smash and bin. always. 

[bob smith]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Can you have such a girl?

are you serious? I'm bob smith!! 

 

some people have a lot to learn ???? 

[OneMoreFarang]

34 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

I know a dozen guys who have married or have live in bar girls.  They are mostly sexy with personality.  But, they all have problems as these girls seem to become addicted to their bar jobs.  The attention, social media, drinking, gambling, sex, staying up til 3am.  Bringing one of these girls out of their element is a huge difficult adjustment for them.  

Never say never, but it would be difficult.  Add trust issues when away playing golf or hanging out with friends or going back home.  All just seems like a huge hassle I would not want in my life at this stage.

Some girls just start working in bars and prefer not to. Good.

Some girls did it long enough and don't want to do it anymore. Possible, but risky.

And some girls enjoy their life in bars. Enjoy for short time, but don't marry her. 

[owl sees all]

37 minutes ago, bob smith said:

why take your chance on a poor, uneducated daughter of a peasant farmer when you can have a well educated woman with a good job. 

 

I think thats the point im trying to make anyway..

You are missing the main points in all this Bob lad.

 

(1) Can she make a nice cup of Rosy?

(2) Can she name all the winners of the EPL?

 

[OneMoreFarang]

20 minutes ago, BusyB said:

'5 Mark Alley'

Was that just after the war?

[BusyB]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Was that just after the war?

A lot of the buildings still had bullet holes in them.

So yes, a long time ago ????

 

Edited August 5, 2023 by BusyB

[khunPer]

6 hours ago, bob smith said:

what are these blokes thinking?

are they that desperate that the only girl they can get is a bar dweller?

who probably had 1 or 2 guys for breakfast before you showed up.

Not all bar girls are hardcore gold diggers; i.e., referring to your opening comment.

 

Many girls and ladies head down from a remote village to find the knight on the white horse – or today perhaps rather in the white Bentley – but as they need money to survive, and often also need to support family back in the village, they need to work and make some income while waiting for the right knight to ride by. Working in a factory or like is not a solution – white knights normally doesn't ride there – so a bar, or free-lancer (to keep the knight-style language) in the nightlife, is the better option, if not the very best.

 

So yes, you can meet nice girls in the nightlife – girls from bars might also head on the nightclubs or after parties efter closing time or a short time hotel visit – and those free birds can actually "fall in love" with a good man, especially if that man is also a good provider.

 

I know several former ladies from bar- and nightlife that has been succesful married to some of those knights that rides by, and some of the knights have also been good providers, who even can afford to buy a Mercedes to the wife, when they for example moves home to Germany or Switzerland.

 

I also know of several former both nightlife birds, and so-called nice girls and ladies that has a normal job, whom have been married to a foreigner, moved abroad and got disappointed. The life as housewife in a foreign country was not what they expected.

 

And I know first-hand horror stories about well of men that have been ripped off by their Thai wife, and in the worst cases we are talking about the nice ladies, not those from the nightlife. So, perhaps it's safer to settle with a bird from the nightlife, than those well-educated clever gold diggers...????

 

And the nice girl you meet on a dating site or in the shopping mall; do you know if she earlier has been working in a bar. Statistically some 80-90% of the flesh-market customers are not foreigners. She could have been working in a karaoke bar, you might never know about...

 

Then of course there are the cases you refer to as "i see them pretty much daily. all over weight, bald, with no teeth", who has better chances to find a companion based on money than their look – don't forget that "handsum" in Thai often refers to the wallet – and even you might have lost hair, being little to the obese side and lost some teeth, you might still be a kind man and can be a good husband.

 

Where I live in Thailand, I don't see many of these men – "...over weight, bald, with no teeth" – but I see many working girls with in real Western-style handsome young or younger men. The reason that there might not be many of the type you mention, could be that the competition from the real handsome type is too hard. I know many of these working girls and ladies that got married to handsome younger men – and some of them got married to good-looking middle-aged men, more like the knight the white Bentley – and as I've known several of both these nightlife birds and nice ladies as friend, I've even been invited as guest to some of their weddings; or just introduced to their husbands.

 

However, it might be different what you see, in different parts of Land-of-Smiles.

 

And by the way, you don't need to marry the bird from the nightlife to live together with her for "long time" after less than a month...????

[Hummin]

6 hours ago, bob smith said:

mrs smith has never asked me for a single penny. in fact, quite the oposite, she pays 80% of the time we go out..

 

Amazing what you can find when you open your eyes a bit, isnt it? ???? 

and now you are tired of her, and she doesnt give you what you really want? Affection and respect comes along with mutual respect and affection if the chemistry is met by both parts. Do you respect your wife and give her what she needs? We all need stimulation to build up on our feelings for each other to manage to build something for future, but at once only one pulling the strings, you loosing your ground slowly. 

 

A former bar girl is no different than any other women out there trying their best to survive in demanding world to succed one way or the other. Some is more broken down than others, and will not function in a long standing relationship out of many reasons, but a few who is right for you, will. 

 

Complicated but still possible

 

It takes two to tango as they say one way around or the other

[bob smith]

17 minutes ago, khunPer said:

they need to work and make some income while waiting for the right knight to ride by

why not get an education and stand on their own two feet instead?

 

Or is that too much like hard work???

[bob smith]

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

A former bar girl is no different than any other women out there trying their best to survive in demanding world to succed one way or the other.

my wife has a PhD in Physics. 

 

Dont ever compare her to a bar dweller again!

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, khunPer said:

So yes, you can meet nice girls in the nightlife – girls from bars might also head on the nightclubs or after parties efter closing time or a short time hotel visit – and those free birds can actually "fall in love" with a good man, especially if that man is also a good provider.

Every hooker I ever took home was nicer than my educated virgin schoolteacher Brit wife.

Cheaper too!

[Hummin]

Just another tread where girls being trown under the bus, who often are the reasons many single men comes to thailand, who find a good life and a good future with a lady from the "tourist" industry. 

 

Black and white comes to mind as someone mentioned earlier. 

 

We come a long way with making sober good healthy decissions and common sense of what is good and bad, and if not sure, you are sure! Simple as that

 

What surprises me, as many as those who ending up with a lady of night, are happy as those who choose a lady they believe is better than those they talking down, but trying hard to justifie their own beliefs and actions. 

 

Some is more broken down than others, thats what we talking about, and in nature of being broken down, abused both by family and their failed actions, tends to find the same men who also have a long history of failing and who also repeat their mistakes over and over and still complains about everyone else is making their life hard and complicated, and not willing to accept it was all their own decissions leading them to their struggles. 

 

Still life can feel like a lottery, some few win, 

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, bob smith said:

why not get an education and stand on their own two feet instead?

Or is that too much like hard work???

My Thai daughter has an education, spent 3 years extra in high school, 4 years getting her degree, speaks perfect English an makes 20k/month + free condo.

Hardly worth her time or my money.

She wouldn't look twice at a western foreigner.

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, bob smith said:

my wife has a PhD in Physics. 

 

Dont ever compare her to a bar dweller again!

a phd in physics doesnt say much about her personality, and why she choosed you, and why she thought you where a good choice at the time for her. 

[bob smith]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

She wouldn't look twice at a western foreigner.

why is that then?

[Hummin]

19 minutes ago, bob smith said:

why not get an education and stand on their own two feet instead?

 

Or is that too much like hard work???

and still you have this affection for bar girls even you have a good lady? Creating new treads complaining and even want to emigrate to Phil for new easy girls because you do not get what you want home? All you want to appreciated and give nothing in return or do what it takes to maintain what you have. 

[kevin612]

Everyone has different perspectives, however, you have fate with every woman if you are rich. They make you happy and fall in love 

[ChrisKC]

Men looking for women have been coming to Thailand for many years. Some of them do no research and are happy to trust mates down the pub in their own country that the girls here are easy, beautiful and often charming - most of the "easy" ones to be found in bars. In fact these women represent less than 4% of Thai women. though for sure, there is no guarantee that many of the 96% remaining might just be lying about one being handsome!

 

Arriving here for the first time, they are amazed that their mates were (partly) right! These men are of different age groups but they often have in common a few background characteristics that tend to make them easy prey for those women. In the beginning, the men are overwhelmed with the feeling they are wanted and cannot resist the temptations of "falling" into relationships that were impossible in their own country. It is easy to see why!

 

Men who are not familiar with the major potential problems of a serious relationship with a bar girl, especially marrying one, will be naive at the time and later realise they were stupid.

 

To the OP: Is Mrs. Smith aware of your deep knowledge of the bar girl scene?

 

 

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, bob smith said:

you say that as if its a bad thing??????

Well it isn't really if an old guy is ugly and wants what you can get. ????

[bob smith]

5 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

To the OP: Is Mrs. Smith aware of your deep knowledge of the bar girl scene?

No, but keep it quiet ok m8 ????

[retarius]

I'm not the marrying type.....but if I were, marrying a bar girl wouldn't bother me, but I'd look out for real signs of honesty and affection. 

[Irish star]

Probably Now I would I tried the Temple girls , Christian girls Biggest damn Scammers Ever went thru 4 relationships in 10 years all thieves and cheaters , all from Korat Nasty bunch up there , mothers must be all exmamasans who teach them the trade of Deceit