Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
12 hours ago, Alittleguy said:

I find myself in a complicated situation that I never anticipated when I moved to Thailand seeking a new chapter in life. I'm an ageing expat who fell into a marriage with a Thai woman who now seems to be solely interested in my financial status. What began as a whirlwind romance soon transformed into a marriage that feels devoid of genuine connection and emotional intimacy.

While I had hoped to find companionship and build a life together, it's become painfully clear that her primary focus lies on the material aspects of our relationship. Our conversations revolve around money, gifts, and a lifestyle that seems to be more about appearances than authentic happiness. I've worked hard to create a life here and appreciate the beauty of Thailand beyond its surface, but I feel trapped in a marriage that's void of the emotional depth I craved.

I'm torn between the desire to salvage our relationship and the realization that true love should encompass more than just financial security. I want to address this issue and communicate my feelings, but I fear that doing so might lead to misunderstandings or resentment. At this stage of life, I really want companionship that feels good to my heart and soul, not one that drains me emotionally and financially.

 

What to do ? anyone else out there had similar ?

You've already acknowledged you're an ATM. Time to go.

 

Get yourself financially situated so that you can access your finances away from her.

 

Fake some problem such as you've lost all your money in the market.

 

Tell her she'll have to cover at least her expenses.

 

She will leave you. 

  • Like 2
  • Sad 1
Posted
12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

We're all in the same boat.

Best not to think too much about it.

Buy some pets if you want love and companionship.

I am not in this boat. My wife has proven herself, devotion, dedication to me countless times over a decade and a half.

  • Like 1
  • Thumbs Up 1
Posted
28 minutes ago, JayClay said:

He "singled out" married Thai women as that's the subject of the thread.

 

It would have seemed a bit strange to say "[all] people need to grow, even lesbian mechanics" when the OP isn't married to a mechanic, lesbian or otherwise.

You missed the obvious point, try again.

  • Sad 1
Posted

      Normally I give the advice, ask yourself if you are better off with her or without her.  I think it's pretty plain in this case.  Run, don't walk.

  • Thumbs Up 1
Posted
6 hours ago, JayClay said:

I didn't miss anything 

considering your side battle is about my comment, i will chime in to say i agree with you. ????

 

i would not give the same advice to a married American woman. i would tell her to get off the damn couch and clean something.

 

i respect Thai women a hell of a lot more than Western women. i want them to succeed and thrive, and thus the OP will succeed and thrive with her (until death lol).

 

so i say help her find a hobby, not run back to the bar.

 

#

  • Confused 1
Posted
2 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

TO find a real good friend, woman? It is rare, no matter where. No matter nationality.

Lived, seen, heard many relations, just going down the drain. In short and/or long time.

You can only fix yourself.

It comes down to what each and one is willing to do for each other to make a good life for both of you, and not only one part!

Posted
14 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Oh don't know...  I saw a-cute one the other day... :whistling:

 

 

Was she high on pot in use?????

Posted
31 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It comes down to what each and one is willing to do for each other to make a good life for both of you, and not only one part!

Yes, but agendas can change or even set to it. And in this case, it looks like the agenda has changed from only one part and leaving the other part not happy, without bothering about the other part.

Posted

Part of Thai culture is 'showing off' if you are able to.  You do need to talk to her and then you should know what you should do.

It has to be your decision.

  • Thumbs Up 1
Posted
16 hours ago, Furioso said:

I'm not going to lie the best decision is to get out of the relationship as fast(and cheap) as possible. You deserve A LOT more than what you're getting from her. 

He can cut his losses and just disappear and move to another province unannounced. Then after a few months she can apply for a divorce without him signing off on it. Then she’ll go find another. Simple.

  • Like 1
  • Sad 1
Posted
11 hours ago, MangoKorat said:

She won't change - don't even try fixing it.  Get out and start dating again - but this time keep it to dating.  After more than one failed marriage I decided to stay single - I'm not prepared to waste any more of my life on these money driven creatures.

 

Once I got used to it I'm having a ball. Do what I want and date as many as possible - currently 3. One @ 22 (I kid you not), one @ 34 and one @35 - I'm 60+.  I ride my bike when I want, go to the bar when I want, play my music as loud as I want and boy is it cheaper being single.  At least one, if not all of the girls I'm currently seeing will turn out to be a money grabber - its happened several times but as soon as it does, they're history. 

 

I try and weed them out before meeting but the gold diggers rarely say that's what they are ????. You sort of get a 'knack' for knowing which are but that's not 100% reliable and some slip through - probably because there are so many.

 

Enjoy the good times and get out before the bad times arrive. Play them at their own game.

 

Dowload Tinder and join Thai Friendly - you'll soon be sorted.  Be aware though that on both of those platforms there's more than a few hookers working - especially the latter.

Right! Those are great apps to find another desperate woman as opposed to just being able to get out and open your mouth and say hi to someone who is out and about or working at their job. 

  • Thanks 2
Posted
20 hours ago, Alittleguy said:

What to do ? anyone else out there had similar ?

You're not the only one. Money seems to be (I'm wording it carefully) the main reason for a Thai woman in a relationship with a foreigner.

I met, what I thought was the love of my life, but the relationship had numerous up and downs. I realised too late that the woman I loved did not care much about me, but rather my money only. Fortunately, I didn't marry her. - In a Thai-foreigner relationship I would not expect feelings of love (anymore), but more like a companionship where one partner is just there for financial gain.

  • Sad 1
  • Love It 1
  • Thumbs Up 1
Posted

Here’s my take,

 

First, I’m going to assume that female in your case is around the same general age as you… If so, then I don’t think it’s entirely unrealistic, unreasonable nor “unromantic”  for her to also be looking at her own financial standing/stability/future relative to you, be that married, divorced or widowed..  I think that ANY person - make, female, Thai or not, would be wise to make some educated financial decisions based on their life, current circumstances and future expectations.

 

That said, IMHO, any marriage of that has the legs to last has to be in some level based on factors like motivation, devotion, love and emotion attachment… it can’t be.. it shouldn’t be all about money… NOR can it be just about love without some thought to the daily practicalities either.. it’s a balance.

 

so.. to me, I think it’s fair for her AND you to be taking stock of where each of you are at — financially, emotionally and the like - and weigh all of that against the choice to divorce or continue with the existing. 

 

In my head I kind of subscribe to the idea of “better the devil I know than the one I don’t” …. but in the end, it’s you who’s going to live it 24/7 

Posted
21 hours ago, Alittleguy said:

I'm torn between the desire to salvage our relationship and the realization that true love should encompass more than just financial security. I want to address this issue and communicate my feelings, but I fear that doing so might lead to misunderstandings or resentment. At this stage of life, I really want companionship that feels good to my heart and soul, not one that drains me emotionally and financially.

 

What to do ? anyone else out there had similar ?

It's my impression that many have had similar experiences.

 

My first Thai girlfriend was kind of gold-digger girl, luckily (for me) it didn't last that long time – and yes, I knew the risk in advance, and she was a calculated risk.

 

Many – if not most – Thai ladies sees a man/husband as provider; just like a man/husband was in old time in Western countries. Providing can included an extended Thai family. Often one needs to be prepared being a family provider; or state it very, very clearly from the beginning, if one is not prepared to this – in such cases the girl/lady might decide to move on.

 

I've often heard two expression from Thai women, one: »If he cannot provide, why do I need him!« And: »I don't love him, but he can take good care of me!« About the latter, there were two cases, where I knew the one the girl/lady could love, but those two men were not at provider stage.

 

An often said advice, unfortunately is: "Move on".

 

Of course it can be difficult with a long term relationship – especially if there is a child or are children involved – or marriage, but it might often be the only lasting sensible solution.

 

I also believes in that one can find acceptable/good/true relationships not too much based in finance; if accepting the little old-fashioned level, with the man/husband is the provider. The scary part is, when one is falling (deeply) in love – especially when being mainly: A provider.

  • Thumbs Up 1
Posted

I don’t think she’s changed at all. It is you who has now realized the truth. She and most Thai women marrying older farangs primarily do so for financial stability and status. She’s got that. On the other hand you having passed the honeymoon period starting to think with your big head. Had you done that before marrying you’d be single. Nevertheless you can either accept that her happiness is about material things and you by providing it can get some reciprocal non-material benefits or find someone else. Won’t be easy though since most of them have similar mindsets.  

  • Like 2
Posted
21 hours ago, Alittleguy said:

I really want companionship that feels good to my heart and soul, not one that drains me emotionally and financially.

 

What to do ? anyone else out there had similar ?

I’ve been in near relationships motivated by finances that I ended swiftly because I knew and can see where it was going. Personally if you really like her and you know with out any doubt she likes you for who you are and not what you have, then have a serious discussion with her. Though she may not have the ability to be completely honest in the deepest respects. For being retired, I can’t think of anything worse than being in a stressful relationship. I worked all my life and loved my work and I certainly wouldn’t want anything in my life that measures less than that. Being in a relationship is about liking someone in all respects, tolerance compatibility, even flow. Is why many people decide to stay single.

  • Like 1
  • Thumbs Up 1
Posted
2 hours ago, xtrnuno41 said:

Yes, but agendas can change or even set to it. And in this case, it looks like the agenda has changed from only one part and leaving the other part not happy, without bothering about the other part.

We only know one point of view, and as most women who I had experience with, always think we should know everything even they do not say one word about whats the real problem.

 

However, how he describes her, she is hiding something. Most of the Thai women I know, who really care about you, would not give you a chance to be taken by another woman. I think she keeps him on gras until he change, step up the game, or something better comes along. 

 

If I was him, I would start being busy, and not just available all the time. Op is no challenge for her, when he just sit around waiting for her, and wait for her to be ready for him.

 

OP most likely another troll ????

  • Thumbs Up 2
Posted

1. Do you speak Thai at all? Not just "how much", "where's the toilet" etc. Can you actually make a conversation in Thai?

2. What's the age gap between the two of you?

3. Where did you meet her? What work was she doing before you met?

 

I don't know if this is a troll thread like many like to start here, but the point is that if you cannot make a conversation in Thai that means you don't understand even the basics of Thai culture and it doesn't matter how well your wife speaks English or whatever your mother's tongue is. The other 2 questions are also important. Would you have married a woman of that age in your home country (I mean would a woman that age will even consider having a relationship with a man your age?)?

And of course the 3rd question - would you have married a woman of the same past in your home country?

  • Sad 1
Posted
22 hours ago, Alittleguy said:

I'm an ageing expat who fell into a marriage with a Thai woman who now seems to be solely interested in my financial status.

What is the age difference? Ask yourself this question. Would you have found a lady in your home country of the same age to marry you? If so, why you did not marry in your home country? If you get the answer to this question, you have already resolved your issue. 

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.



  • Topics

  • Latest posts...

    1. 1

      Keir Starmer: Friends Say He Desperately Needs a Break

    2. 9

      Hot/Cold kitchen sink mixer tap

    3. 1

      Keir Starmer: Friends Say He Desperately Needs a Break

    4. 0

      UK: Jamaican Drug Offender Avoids Deportation After ECHR Appeal

    5. 0

      Dark Legacy of Columbine: Cult Fascination and its Global Influence on School Shootings

    6. 0

      IRA Bomb Survivor Urges Gerry Adams to Reveal the Truth

    7. 0

      Exploration of the Virgin Birth That Maybe Wasn’t

  • Popular in The Pub


×
×
  • Create New...