Do you tolerate cheating in your relationships? Is ok if your partner has an affair once?

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

How do you know I didn't spend time with her family, respect her / them, I am impatient or didn't get to know her? Or you just assume you are a bit smarter than everyone else with your motherly advice? How do you roll back any of the few (not all) horror stories I mentioned? Did you not read I lived with her 2 years before coming here to live. We cant all be the big bwana of the village (lol), respected and adored by all. I am surprised you didn't throw in a few Thai words and mention learning the language sure helps

It was not ment as any accusing statement, so.e people are just deleted, and we know it! Even we can be deleted under the right conditions. So again, it was not ment as anything else than how it was written out rom.my own experience as anyone else here. 

 

What we see and learn through our self learned experiences as well what we see others do and say.

 

As much as there is deleted Thais, there is deleted foreigners. Nothing more to add!

[Hummin]

10 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

How do you know I didn't spend time with her family, respect her / them, I am impatient or didn't get to know her? Or you just assume you are a bit smarter than everyone else with your motherly advice? How do you roll back any of the few (not all) horror stories I mentioned? Did you not read I lived with her 2 years before coming here to live. We cant all be the big bwana of the village (lol), respected and adored by all. I am surprised you didn't throw in a few Thai words and mention learning the language sure helps

By the way, I'm not chasing respect in village, to them, I'm just another foreigner as anybody else. 

 

I understand Thai, as I understand German after 3 years with German as my 3. Language. 

 

 

[bignok]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

Well as I found out more about her history after I got here it was apparent she had already had a roller coaster of horror story of a life. 3 other abandoned kids I didn't know about to different fathers failed marriages (she was 28 yo) And I am not the trusting naive type either. Just impossible to do full due diligence when you don't speak Thai and someone is a habitual, professional liar. One of the causes of instability once I got here and lived in her village. She had too many skeletons / bad stories kicking around and was constantly ill at ease. I could tell immediately she wasn't well liked or respected by anyone. She had lost face long ago and was ashamed alright.... but had nothing to do with me. And what caused the behavioral issues? I would say a feeling there was no need for the act any more

Hard to not know a woman has had 2 or 3 kids. Either a scar or size tells you.

[Kenny202]

33 minutes ago, bignok said:

Hard to not know a woman has had 2 or 3 kids. Either a scar or size tells you.

Not in Thailand. Not the first woman I have met had more than 2 or 3 kids and body slim and pristine, as was hers. They are natural breeders.

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Not in Thailand. Not the first woman I have met had more than 2 or 3 kids and body slim and pristine, as was hers. They are natural breeders.

They all have stretch marks, if they've had kids.

[Kenny202]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

They all have stretch marks, if they've had kids.

Not the dark ones, not in my experience. Not in the same way a European women does anyway. They also don't develop that loose pouch in the tummy that sags down. Not the ones that I have met that have had a few kids anyway. Did meet a young white Thai / Chinese girl had stretch marks on her tummy and legs but she hadn't had any kids. Just lost a lot of weight quickly...or so she said

[JensenZ]

On 9/9/2023 at 1:11 PM, Trippy said:

Monogamy is overrated. 

If that is your philosophy, then the smart move is to stay single. To go into a serious relationship with such a philosophy would be rather stupid.

[Trippy]

1 hour ago, JensenZ said:

If that is your philosophy, then the smart move is to stay single. To go into a serious relationship with such a philosophy would be rather stupid.

Did your wife tell you to write that?

[Expat68]

If they do it once, they will do it again, that goes for both men and women 

[DjSilver]

I would like too see that it's okay to legally kill a partner that has cheated on you ????????????

[Kenny202]

1 hour ago, Expat68 said:

If they do it once, they will do it again, that goes for both men and women 

And if you catch them once, you DIDN'T catch them 10 other times

[2baht]

Fat or No Chance, Don!

[4MyEgo]

On 9/9/2023 at 4:22 PM, Hummin said:

We are not there yet, and I believe every marriage have its challenges one way or the other, so why not be realistic? 

 

Have so many earlier experiences with people who I know who went in to depression after finding out their partner cheated on them. Literally in shock even they themselves had been cheating numerous of times themselves.

Marriage to me is a contract, that said, when I met my Mrs, I told her how I felt about her and how the world was my oyster, that said, I wanted her to be my main partner in marriage, however, I knew myself as a human being who had urges to sleep with other women, and if she was ok with me having the odd one here and there, then we could move forward, 17 years later, still going strong and enjoying my cakes every now and again.

 

That said, if she wanted to have an occasional one, I'm ok with it, I am not insecure that she will fall in love with a side kick, and if she does, well, life goes on as we don't have control over everything. I know she doesn't have any desire for a side dish, because that is how she is, in fantasy, yes, but not in reality whereas I live my fantasies in reality, one life, might as well enjoy it as long as your not hurting anyone and your partner is in agreeance with you from the start, simple really, although 90% of women won't be up for it, and that's ok, find one, that is, if you want what I want. Each to their own, besides I believe it's healthy for the relationship, and no other that I have been with is as good as my Mrs, however, one has to try that piece of cake to fulfil that desire, and no one won't get fat if he only has a piece here and there. 

 

Just think for a minute how many relationships go down the drain because of "cheating" as opposed to being upfront, marriages were made to fail in that department because guys/women know they have desires and if they could be upfront about it and keep it under control, then all good, some don't want to experience their desires with a side dish and that's ok, but the ones that do and get caught out without being upfront at the beginning of the relationship in fear that it wouldn't go any further, suffer later through divorce and there you have "cheating".

Edited September 11, 2023 by 4MyEgo

[Topah]

On 9/10/2023 at 1:03 AM, bignok said:

Hiv is rare from vagina sex.

But making up stories and trolling isn't.

[newbee2022]

I think the way Bonobos handle this issue is perfect.

[bignok]

2 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

Marriage to me is a contract, that said, when I met my Mrs, I told her how I felt about her and how the world was my oyster, that said, I wanted her to be my main partner in marriage, however, I knew myself as a human being who had urges to sleep with other women, and if she was ok with me having the odd one here and there, then we could move forward, 17 years later, still going strong and enjoying my cakes every now and again.

 

That said, if she wanted to have an occasional one, I'm ok with it, I am not insecure that she will fall in love with a side kick, and if she does, well, life goes on as we don't have control over everything. I know she doesn't have any desire for a side dish, because that is how she is, in fantasy, yes, but not in reality whereas I live my fantasies in reality, one life, might as well enjoy it as long as your not hurting anyone and your partner is in agreeance with you from the start, simple really, although 90% of women won't be up for it, and that's ok, find one, that is, if you want what I want. Each to their own, besides I believe it's healthy for the relationship, and no other that I have been with is as good as my Mrs, however, one has to try that piece of cake to fulfil that desire, and no one won't get fat if he only has a piece here and there. 

 

Just think for a minute how many relationships go down the drain because of "cheating" as opposed to being upfront, marriages were made to fail in that department because guys/women know they have desires and if they could be upfront about it and keep it under control, then all good, some don't want to experience their desires with a side dish and that's ok, but the ones that do and get caught out without being upfront at the beginning of the relationship in fear that it wouldn't go any further, suffer later through divorce and there you have "cheating".

We dont need to know 

[LaosLover]

2 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

although 90% of women won't be up for it, and that's ok, find one, that is,

Therein lies the problem. More like 97%

 

Not nearly enough open-minded, classy but slutty women to go around. Again, God is found to be completely asleep at the wheel.

 

When I was a mod on a divorce board, I made friends with a 350 pound woman who was having affairs off of the old Ashely Madison site.

 

As one of the very few non-bot females there, her inbox was never empty -about 100 requests a day for truly terrifying face-sitting.

 

I'm all for old, homely married guys livin' la vida loca, but what's the actionable plan to make it happen? Other than 1800 baht?

 

 

 

[CecilM]

Depends. Do you worry about being alone if the relationship ends? Can you find a new partner easily? (Might end up alone. Might get hurt even more.) What is the partner willing to do to make up for their mistake?

[Dogmatix]

Obviously not OK for her to have one but fine for me. However having one is enough trouble and I don’t want the hassles of a kik. 
 

if it floats, flies or f0cks, rent it.

[ross163103]

No, I wouldn't tolerate it, and on the other side of it, I like to keep my dick attached to my body.

[Iamloki]

I believe in forgiveness... I also believe that one never forgets a trust being broken... Brings me to my final belief and answer to the question... I believe in divorce.

[Datsun 1200]

Men are primates and there are no other Primates that even try Monogamy.

 

Biologically men are made to "spread their seed as much as possible"..

They have an inbuilt need/want to pass on their Genes, just like soooo many other animals/organisms. 

 

I think it is totally un-natural for a strait man to make love to the same female 

2,000 times. Especially if there are any "new' women available. 

 

"They" say that every American President has "cheated" except for Jimmy Carter but that was before Obama I think. As Andrew Tate so badly puts it, the strong alpha males get the majority of women.

 

Ghengis Khan fathered over 1,000 kids. Name me one mega Powerful/Rich etc man that is into Monogamy? Even Bill Gates was cheating, obviously sex too many times with same woman. (Maybe at 1,000 times for Melinda), after all they used to work together..

 

IH

PS Of Monogamy/marriages, 51% end in divorce, and of the remaining 49% many, stay together "for the kids" or because Catholic etc. It is predicted that at least 70% are unhappy. How can I ever recommend marriage to a young person? It is simply a very bad bet. 

[fvw53]

The quality of every human relationship (nations, cultures, individuals ) depends on mutual respect and mutual trust

I could never trust anymore my wife if I found out she cheated (and I never did it to her) but it seems some couples can overcome it

[Hummin]

30 minutes ago, Datsun 1200 said:

Men are primates and there are no other Primates that even try Monogamy.

 

Biologically men are made to "spread their seed as much as possible"..

They have an inbuilt need/want to pass on their Genes, just like soooo many other animals/organisms. 

 

I think it is totally un-natural for a strait man to make love to the same female 

2,000 times. Especially if there are any "new' women available. 

 

"They" say that every American President has "cheated" except for Jimmy Carter but that was before Obama I think. As Andrew Tate so badly puts it, the strong alpha males get the majority of women.

 

Ghengis Khan fathered over 1,000 kids. Name me one mega Powerful/Rich etc man that is into Monogamy? Even Bill Gates was cheating, obviously sex too many times with same woman. (Maybe at 1,000 times for Melinda), after all they used to work together..

 

IH

PS Of Monogamy/marriages, 51% end in divorce, and of the remaining 49% many, stay together "for the kids" or because Catholic etc. It is predicted that at least 70% are unhappy. How can I ever recommend marriage to a young person? It is simply a very bad bet. 

How many true alpha males exists, and how many alpha male wannabies is there for every alpha male? 

 

Andrew Tate a Alpha male? Or a wannabe who play alpha male? 

 

How many women did Djengis Khan rape and kill?

 

Men is as different as women is, some is givers, some is takers, and very few manage both, give and take ND at same time being a good decent honest person.

 

It comes down to who do you want to be, and who is your heroes or what is your golden standard?

 

I have enjoyed Monogamy now for 7 years, and still promising for the next decade to continue the same way. It take dedication and Interest from both parts to keep it interesting, and not just in and out once a week, or once a month.

Edited September 11, 2023 by Hummin

[Datsun 1200]

PS The "best" women IMHO understand the above about men, and cater for it. Supply hubby the odd

20yo babysitter or some chick at work that is hot and he will LOVE you for your actually understanding "the male human". Read The Kinsey Report and Masters and Johnson

 

You really believe Mrs Clinton had no idea about the little slut Mr Clinton was playing with.

He has been playing with other girls their whole marriage, she is/was surely in to it. 

Maybe it goes "So Bill tell me all about the little slut you just entertained, you used a what? Ohh what fun"

Sounds like a "keeper" to me. I was glad when they were not "forced to divorce", heroically she "forgave" him. 

[Datsun 1200]

5 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

Marriage to me is a contract, that said, when I met my Mrs, I told her how I felt about her and how the world was my oyster, that said, I wanted her to be my main partner in marriage, however, I knew myself as a human being who had urges to sleep with other women, and if she was ok with me having the odd one here and there, then we could move forward, 17 years later, still going strong and enjoying my cakes every now and again.

 

That said, if she wanted to have an occasional one, I'm ok with it, I am not insecure that she will fall in love with a side kick, and if she does, well, life goes on as we don't have control over everything. I know she doesn't have any desire for a side dish, because that is how she is, in fantasy, yes, but not in reality whereas I live my fantasies in reality, one life, might as well enjoy it as long as your not hurting anyone and your partner is in agreeance with you from the start, simple really, although 90% of women won't be up for it, and that's ok, find one, that is, if you want what I want. Each to their own, besides I believe it's healthy for the relationship, and no other that I have been with is as good as my Mrs, however, one has to try that piece of cake to fulfil that desire, and no one won't get fat if he only has a piece here and there. 

 

Just think for a minute how many relationships go down the drain because of "cheating" as opposed to being upfront, marriages were made to fail in that department because guys/women know they have desires and if they could be upfront about it and keep it under control, then all good, some don't want to experience their desires with a side dish and that's ok, but the ones that do and get caught out without being upfront at the beginning of the relationship in fear that it wouldn't go any further, suffer later through divorce and there you have "cheating".

No wonder you have had a long marriage, I tip my hat to your wife who simply "understands men" unlike sooo many others...

African American women seem to understand men better. They often say "men are dogs". They all knew Clinton "played with that young girl" for sure. 

[thaibeachlovers]

I assume that everyone will have casual sex if the opportunity arose, so I told both of my partners to use a condom and not tell me if they did.

 

I found out late in my marriage that my wife had flown to Germany with some man while I was away, but by then she had stopped having sex, so divorce was not far away. She never told me but I found the airline ticket she had kept.

[Datsun 1200]

This is relevant:

 

When a man says "she meant absolutely nothing it was just sex", BELIEVE HIM! I don't know about women (obviously as a man) but I have had sex with women and never even asked their name.

Never ever kissing etc. We really can have great sex with a person we even dislike. Understand we are different.

And a "happy ending" is not considered sex by men. They look at it as lazy masterbation.

Although if you did/do have a happy ending I suggest you never tell them. Most can't handle it coz they think, we think like them. 

[Hummin]

58 minutes ago, Datsun 1200 said:

PS The "best" women IMHO understand the above about men, and cater for it. Supply hubby the odd

20yo babysitter or some chick at work that is hot and he will LOVE you for your actually understanding "the male human". Read The Kinsey Report and Masters and Johnson

 

You really believe Mrs Clinton had no idea about the little slut Mr Clinton was playing with.

He has been playing with other girls their whole marriage, she is/was surely in to it. 

Maybe it goes "So Bill tell me all about the little slut you just entertained, you used a what? Ohh what fun"

Sounds like a "keeper" to me. I was glad when they were not "forced to divorce", heroically she "forgave" him. 

You are so sure, because it first with your wishful understanding how things works, and how men are! 

 

What is best for the family? A father chasing women, or a good rolemodel.

 

Everything becomes just excuses when you start chasing the real man you think a real man is!

 

I do not say it is unnatural, what I'm saying, it is not what you think it is, and what you want to cultivate as a man thing. 

 

Both sexes is attracted to someone else sooner or later in an relationship, but is is up to us how much we want that to control us!

 

You can be stupid, or you can be a bit smart about it! Up to you.

 

Impressive how much of the real truth about the Clintons you know!

 

 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Hummin

[JensenZ]

On 9/10/2023 at 6:12 PM, Trippy said:

Did your wife tell you to write that?

Does your wife supervise your posting here?