A matter of preference. Fine. But why?

[swissie]

By looking at couples, sometimes I wonder "what she sees in him" or vice versa. What makes us attract to a certain type of person? Even the ugliest of us find a "partner".

Science tells us that some bodyly "smells" play a major role. I myself smelled females from head to toe regularily , but it didn't make a difference. But if I see a"petite" female, I immediately feel attracted to her. This is why I am attracted to 85% of Thai females.

Returning to the "smell" factor: By bathing in french perfume or wallowing in hog-manure, what would make me more attractive to the opposite sex?

- NOTE: No female has ever smelled me from head to toe, they rather smelled my wallet intensively. From my point of view, with rather satisfactory results.

Back on topic: Who loves who and WHY?

 

[still kicking]

We used to say opposite attracts.

[swissie]

10 minutes ago, still kicking said:

We used to say opposite attracts.

With a divorce rate of nearly 50%. After that, looking for the next "opposite"? Could it be that we do not love a "person", but a certain category of persons?. That, of course makes "monogamy" an exercise in futility in the first place.

[OneMoreFarang]

48 minutes ago, swissie said:

"what she sees in him"

I think that is the correct question.

It's not: What is he? or Who is he?

It's about perception. What does one person, and that person alone, see in that other person?

And I think sometimes that is difficult to understand, also for ourselves.

 

I.e. we have two female security guards in our building. Both petite, about the same age. Both not really beautiful or ugly.

I very much like one of them. I would try to chat her up right away if I wouldn't be in a happy long term relationship.

The other one leaves me cold. I wouldn't be interested even if she would be really interested in me.

Why?

I don't really know.

Sure, I could list a couple of differences, but it would be like: She has such a winning smile. Or she is just cute. But if I would tell that to someone else, he would possibly ask: Which one?

So, it's back to smell or that special feeling or whatever. Sometimes it just is, and it is difficult to describe.

And, IMHO, we should listen to that special feeling and we shouldn't try to find reason in what we like.

[rattlesnake]

36 minutes ago, still kicking said:

We used to say opposite attracts.

 

That is certainly the case for most long-lasting couples I know. Gotta have a + and a -.

[still kicking]

1 minute ago, rattlesnake said:

 

That is certainly the case for most long-lasting couples I know. Gotta have a + and a -.

This is my second marriage the first one lasted 30 years, I ended it (long story) now I am married the second time for 20 years to a Thai. 

[rattlesnake]

30 minutes ago, still kicking said:

This is my second marriage the first one lasted 30 years, I ended it (long story) now I am married the second time for 20 years to a Thai. 

 

I've been with my Thai wife for 13 years. First marriage, currently aged early 40s.

[richard_smith237]

39 minutes ago, swissie said:

With a divorce rate of nearly 50%. After that, looking for the next "opposite"? Could it be that we do not love a "person", but a certain category of persons?. That, of course makes "monogamy" an exercise in futility in the first place.

 

But the 'divorce rate' of 50% is often cited, but also somewhat misleading...

 

When you take away those who where married straight out of high-school, those who are not university educated, those who had children before marriage, those from broken homes (whose parents divorced) the divorce rate drops to below 20%...

 

Some of the above may trigger some people, but its a reality that can't be apologised for whether its an objectionable reality or not...  of course there are exceptions...

 

 

As per the Op, I do look at some couples and wonder what on earth, and then I see others and they look like they just 'fit' and it can be observed how natural they are in each others company.

 

What makes you attractive to another person and them to you ?.... 'Game'...   when all the other things are in place, having character makes that next step work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[still kicking]

14 minutes ago, rattlesnake said:

 

I've been with my Thai wife for 13 years. First marriage, currently aged early 40s.

Well, you are just a baby compared to me I am 76 now .

[swissie]

47 minutes ago, still kicking said:

This is my second marriage the first one lasted 30 years, I ended it (long story) now I am married the second time for 20 years to a Thai. 

Great!

Same here. 2nd marriage, 20 years. Maybe it's' the reduction of hormones that can eventually turn a male/female bondage into something "until death do us part".

To a point where "the other half" of you becomes a part of you. Raging hormones will make something like that impossible as the Hunter must remain the Hunter and the hunted will remain the hunted.

 

[rattlesnake]

14 minutes ago, still kicking said:

Well, you are just a baby compared to me I am 76 now .

 

Indeed!

[still kicking]

8 minutes ago, rattlesnake said:

 

Indeed!

But I love babies.

[swissie]

Rats! No enlighenment so far. 30 years ago, at the university we studied the "love-life" of rats extensively.

 Never been able to find out why certain female rats accepted male rats as the father of their future offspring, while other male contenders were vigorously refused and mercilessly attacked. Eventually our studies were inconclusive, we were cut off of any future funding.

That was 30 years ago. In some way rats as well as humans must have some "selective pathways" in their brain, indicating "I like what I see" or "I don't like what I see".

Pending conclusive explanations, I feel that I will have to resume my former  studies. Focusing on the "smell theory" as this proves to be a major factor in the animal-world. Mainly due to the lack of other explanations by humans.

 I will start with wallowing in hog manure. Will keep you posted.

 

[swm59nj]

Maybe these so called less physical attractive people have other things going for them.  Such as a good income, health insurance, money in the bank. Things that women other than in a third world country might find attractive . And they can live comfortably not only in countries such as Thailand. 

[HighPriority]

On 1/31/2024 at 3:32 AM, richard_smith237 said:

 

But the 'divorce rate' of 50% is often cited, but also somewhat misleading...

 

When you take away those who where married straight out of high-school, those who are not university educated, those who had children before marriage, those from broken homes (whose parents divorced) the divorce rate drops to below 20%...

 

Some of the above may trigger some people, but its a reality that can't be apologised for whether its an objectionable reality or not...  of course there are exceptions...

 

 

As per the Op, I do look at some couples and wonder what on earth, and then I see others and they look like they just 'fit' and it can be observed how natural they are in each others company.

 

What makes you attractive to another person and them to you ?.... 'Game'...   when all the other things are in place, having character makes that next step work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What load of cherry picking twaffle.

[AlexRich]

The UK comedy talk show host Mrs Merton (played by Caroline Ahern) summed up the dilemma in a question to a guest. The guest was the very attractive Debbie McGhee who was married to the very unattractive TV magician by the name of Paul Daniels. The question:

 

"Debbie, tell me, what first attracted you to the Millionaire Paul Daniels?"

[jippytum]

The smell of money attracts Thai ladies

[Lacessit]

Women choose men. Our preferences are incidental. If a woman decides she is going to pussy-whip a man, it's game over.

Women are attracted by physical good looks, power, intelligence, personality and money. Depending on their own looks, they will settle for what is achievable.

Women want providers, who can take care of them, while they make a home. That's why some quite ugly guys get women that look as if they don't belong with them.

What I don't understand are the women who hook up with guys I would not p!ss on, if they were on fire. They must enjoy being victims.

[Thingamabob]

On 1/31/2024 at 12:27 AM, still kicking said:

This is my second marriage the first one lasted 30 years, I ended it (long story) now I am married the second time for 20 years to a Thai. 

Much the same. First marriage to a girl from Scotland. Not good. Second, now for nearly 40 years, to a Thai, has been much better, good friends and a lot of fun.

[uttradit]

8 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Women choose men. Our preferences are incidental. If a woman decides she is going to pussy-whip a man, it's game over.

Women are attracted by physical good looks, power, intelligence, personality and money. Depending on their own looks, they will settle for what is achievable.

Women want providers, who can take care of them, while they make a home. That's why some quite ugly guys get women that look as if they don't belong with them.

What I don't understand are the women who hook up with guys I would not p!ss on, if they were on fire. They must enjoy being victims.

Not in Thailand. Poor women don't choose. Men do most of the choosing. I've seen attractive women with ugly losers in western nations but in Thailand most of the women with foreigners are second rate as are the men.

 

 

[mfd101]

On 1/30/2024 at 11:43 PM, still kicking said:

We used to say opposite attracts.

We used to say: Opposites attract but experience shows that people of similar backgrounds and expectations stay together. In my Thai Khmer family however they say exactly the opposite of that.

 

But my b/f and I - happily together now almost 12 years - are about as different in personality & background as it's possible to be, which seems to break both views!

[The Old Bull]

The Welsh have a saying, when translated , says the male donkey will go to the female donkey.

[Lacessit]

9 minutes ago, uttradit said:

Not in Thailand. Poor women don't choose. Men do most of the choosing. I've seen attractive women with ugly losers in western nations but in Thailand most of the women with foreigners are second rate as are the men.

 

 

So all the foreigners in Thailand with Thai women are second rate? You sound like one of the guys I would not p!ss on.

Edited February 1 by Lacessit

[uttradit]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

So all the foreigners in Thailand with Thai women are second rate? You sound like one of the guys I would not p!ss on.

If you read the statement properly you would see the word most not all. Sorry you can't read.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, uttradit said:

If you read the statement properly you would see the word most not all. Sorry you can't read.

If you are going to make offensive posts on this forum, you should expect some return fire. Sorry if you lack the intelligence to understand that.

[uttradit]

Just now, Lacessit said:

If you are going to make offensive posts on this forum, you should expect some return fire. Sorry if you lack the intelligence to understand that.

You have issues. I don't know you.

[uttradit]

On 1/30/2024 at 11:18 PM, swissie said:

By looking at couples, sometimes I wonder "what she sees in him" or vice versa. What makes us attract to a certain type of person? Even the ugliest of us find a "partner".

I don't wonder why. Most couples are just 2 average or worse people trying to have a relationship to avoid loneliness. There aren't that many attractive people.

[Wrwest]

On 1/30/2024 at 11:18 PM, swissie said:

By looking at couples, sometimes I wonder "what she sees in him" or vice versa. What makes us attract to a certain type of person? Even the ugliest of us find a "partner".

Science tells us that some bodyly "smells" play a major role. I myself smelled females from head to toe regularily , but it didn't make a difference. But if I see a"petite" female, I immediately feel attracted to her. This is why I am attracted to 85% of Thai females.

Returning to the "smell" factor: By bathing in french perfume or wallowing in hog-manure, what would make me more attractive to the opposite sex?

- NOTE: No female has ever smelled me from head to toe, they rather smelled my wallet intensively. From my point of view, with rather satisfactory results.

Back on topic: Who loves who and WHY?

 

What I also find interesting is that I had not known of my 4 significant others in the years before we met (duh, naturally enough) but then never saw them again anytime after we broke up. If we were such at a distance, never in the same social circles, never visiting the same places when we were together ... strange. Not exactly ships passing in the night? Shortest of those relationships lasted 4 years, longest 27 years.

[NoshowJones]

57 minutes ago, uttradit said:

I don't wonder why. Most couples are just 2 average or worse people trying to have a relationship to avoid loneliness. There aren't that many attractive people.

Finding a unattractive Thai woman is about the same odds as finding a handsome Thai man.

[uttradit]

Just now, NoshowJones said:

Finding a unattractive Thai woman is about the same odds as finding a handsome Thai man.

Less than 15% of Thai women are attractive so you find 86% of Thai men attractive.