How do you react to Thais who do not respond to greetings?

[Lemsta69]

6 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Good point

I find most Thais to be polite and friendly, however not if the strangers got the wrong posture or is scruffy. Thais are very perceptive.

 

All rather childish isn't it? No wonder the country is in the mess that it is and doesn't seem like snapping out of it anytime soon.

[HugoFastor]

Some might have self confidence issues. Some are too embarrassed to interact with foreigners. Some could be afraid of getting into a confrontation. Some may be worried about responding in the wrong way and/or not being good with English and then losing face or disappointing you. So in general it could be unfair to assume they are intentionally being unfriendly if they don't respond to an unexpected hello from a foreigner whom they don't know. They could simply have their own personal issues and it has nothing to do with you directly. Try asking them a simple impersonal question about something like the weather instead of just an open ended greeting. They might be more inclined to respond if they know the answer to the question or how to respond to something you are communicating to them about. 

[Lacessit]

Why would I say hello to a complete stranger?

If I saw someone a few times in the same location, I might say hello.

If they ignored me, I would ignore them from then on.

[fredwiggy]

7 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Few foreigners understand the Thai hierarchical social structure and how farang don't get onto the first rung of the social ladder. 

Even fewer understand how to show obeisance to those on higher rungs, ie every Thai.

When the right obeisance is not given, offense is taken. 

Oh we understand all right. It's just that we don't bow down to anyone, knowing no one is any better than we are. We really don't care if offense is taken, for narcissists don't deserve any recognition. Some, many people, aren't interested in responding to any greetings from strangers. Some aren't friendly enough to respond. Many do,as I've seen in many places of many nationalities.

[Gecko123]

7 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Few foreigners understand the Thai hierarchical social structure and how farang don't get onto the first rung of the social ladder. 

Even fewer understand how to show obeisance to those on higher rungs, ie every Thai.

When the right obeisance is not given, offense is taken. 

 

You seem to take a perverse pleasure in trying to make people think Thai culture is a dark, scary, endlessly intricate minefield which only a few chosen souls like you have ever traversed without losing a limb or two.

 

I recall you professing to have insights about how Thais secretly hold foreigners in disdain and how the word 'farang' is pejorative, neither of which, IMHO, is true either. I'm all the more struck that these comments, which seem aimed at sowing cross-cultural mistrust and resentment are coming from someone who has obtained Thai citizenship. You may be getting personal satisfaction by posturing on this forum as someone who has climbed to the top of Thailand's seven storied cultural mountain, but I think you are doing the Thai people a huge disservice by spreading misinformation about Thai culture. Anyone who has true insights into Thai culture ought to be working as an ambassador for Thailand, fostering understanding and mutual respect, not promulgating misinformation which sows insecurity, confusion, and mistrust. 

[NanLaew]

7 hours ago, ozimoron said:

...like when they come up behind you in soi 6.

 

Ah, so that was you, eh?

 

Good point though, and chances are if you do hear some prolonged 'horning' going on, it's undoubtedly a foreigner (like the German chap trying to park out front of a Soi Buakhao gogo bar).

 

Dumbkopf.

[ezzra]

Not every greeting should be met with a response, in close spaces i usually say 'Waddi' short for sawadi krup

or nod my head with a faint smile and move on response or not...

[Neeranam]

2 hours ago, Lemsta69 said:

 

All rather childish isn't it? No wonder the country is in the mess that it is and doesn't seem like snapping out of it anytime soon.

Just a different culture. 

How is the country in a mess? 

 

[Tropicalevo]

10 hours ago, zhounan said:

You're in an elevator, you say hi and they don't respond. They are sitting next to you, you greet them and they don't respond. 

I say hi to everyone that I see where I live.

Thais always respond.

Foreigners - usually do but not always.

[Gecko123]

Thai people are among the most approachable and outwardly friendly people on the planet. Unfriendly and unsmiling Westerners visitors have only themselves to blame if this most cherishable of cultural traits has been degraded over time.

 

 

[mfd101]

2 comments from my experience:

 

(1) When we lived in The Trendy a few years ago, if there was a female of about 30 years up in the lift with me, I would politely gesture for her to walk out of the lift ahead of me. Almost invariably she would look surprised unless she was of similar age to me (then in my 60s). I think this was a 'males first' Thai issue, not a falang issue;

 

(2) I notice with the slightly more 'outer' members of my b/f's extensive family that the women are always more approachable than the males. Women happy & cheerful, men serious & surly. One BIL is a retired police lieutenant so high in prestige in the village, nice guy, about 10 years younger than me. He will always avoid eye contact with me and won't wai me unless I wai him first (in which case he looks surprised). So issues of status plus the Thai habit of avoiding eye contact with strangers in case of inadvertent loss of face one way or the other.

[Jack Hammer]

10 hours ago, ozimoron said:

Thais tend to ignore strangers unless they have a reason not to. They don't make eye contact at all with strangers in my experience unless talking to them directly. Like in a shop. If they have no business with them they pass by like ships in the night.

I disagree to a point,  bar girls and massage  shop staff always talk to me 

[KannikaP]

3 hours ago, JimTripper said:

If it looks like someone that would be interested in a connection or further chat I will offer a greeting.

So what pointers do you consider when deciding if that someone would be interested, please?

[fredwiggy]

20 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Just a different culture. 

How is the country in a mess? 

 

Up to 65 and more die daily on the roads, mainly because laws on the books aren't enforced, people are paid off, and a wai, and maybe a bribe, gets many out of situations where jail time is mandatory. Locals do not pay child support for the children they make, meaning the men. This absence of fathers, and eventually mothers, who feel the need to go elsewhere to work instead of staying with their children, at least giving the kids one parent who raises them, leaves many kids to fend for themselves, as grandmas, many of whom are illiterate and not capable of taking good responsibility, can't do the job. This lets children to grow up with no guidance, which of course lets them do what their peers do, which is mistreating women, animals, and leaving the kids they make also, repeating the pattern of many decades. Corruption here is huge, and the human trafficking that is sometimes protected by this corruption, lets it flourish. In a democracy, which is the best source of government, the people can elect new leaders. The people here do not have much of a say. Leaders elected are put aside and the rich who are in charge put one of their own in position. This would be okay if they did the job intended, which is to help all people. Yes, in America, sometimes, or actually may times, a leader is voted in place who does more harm than good, but at least the people have a say in who's elected. Expats are treated as outsiders, whereas Thais are accepted in the US as like all others, except by those who are racist or prejudiced., and not allowed to work in most jobs. In the US, you can get most any job a citizen has eventually. Women and girls are considered second class here. This isn't the case in other countries besides some Muslim and other Asian. They are slaves to the men in many cases, a place where boys, many useless, are put in higher regard than the girls, who usually are the ones trying to get ahead. Thousands of food stalls are unlicensed and many get sick from the food they serve in filthy conditions. Animals, especially dogs, are allowed to roam free because no one takes care of them or their offspring, besides the spay and neuter programs who are sometimes frowned upon, and the laws are there to keep this from happening but aren't enforced strictly. Greed is very high here, and scammers are everywhere, which doesn't help with tourism but has been hurting it more and more. Thailand's image of a place to go and have a good time has been tainted by this and crime towards foreigners. Punishment should be dealt out more, especially towards those who are targeting farangs, for the same reason. This is a beautiful country, with many good people, but it's gotten worse for decades now, and is one reason I will take my daughter from here to give her a better life back home. I don't see things improving until the younger crowd gets their say and removes the ones who have been doing the damage for years. This also happens in the US, but as mentioned, there you can get rid of the garbage by voting them out, or punishing them when they commit crimes.

[Berkshire]

10 hours ago, zhounan said:

You're in an elevator, you say hi and they don't respond. They are sitting next to you, you greet them and they don't respond. 

 

Some people always seem stressed, what's their problem? Is their jaw to heavy?

You may view yourself as a friendly, welcoming, wonderful sort of guy.  But others may view you as just a creep.  Maybe best if you just mind your own business and stop harassing strangers. 

[zhounan]

10 hours ago, connda said:

I don't care.  Some Thais are racist.  You can't do anything about racists other than to ignore them.

Nah, I don't think it's about racism. It's more avoid contact and interaction with strangers. They don't just do it with me, I've noticed that it's like that between Thais as well. They seem totally indifferent to the presence of others.

[cdemundo]

I live in an affluent suburb of Bangkok. There is a much used walking path (really a low traffic loop of city streets) very near to where I live.

I walk there several times a week. Maybe half of the walkers say hello. About a third of them introduce themselves, ask my name, ask after my well-being etc. In general they chat and joke with me as far as their English proficiency allows.

 

There are some who I thought standoffish until I said hi to them first and then they turned out to be friendly.

 

These are largely retired folks and from all appearances well-to-do if not wealthy.

 

There is only one out of about 30 regular walkers who seems to feel superior (at least it seems that way).

These are people who could easily look down on me as a foreigner, they may not be HI-SO but they are definitely not low status individuals.

 

So my thinking is that just like anywhere, xenophobia, snobbishness, and maybe just a desire to be left alone exist but are certainly not universal among Thais.

[WorriedNoodle]

10 hours ago, vangrop said:

beware people greeting you to start a useless boring ennoying conversation, just to get spotlights on them

Exactly, reminds me of the joke

> "Good day"

> "It was until you spoke up, you self obsessed twunk"

[stoner]

10 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Few foreigners understand the Thai hierarchical social structure and how farang don't get onto the first rung of the social ladder. 

Even fewer understand how to show obeisance to those on higher rungs, ie every Thai.

When the right obeisance is not given, offense is taken. 

 

what if a foreigner did get to schmooze with all levels of that ladder ? i have taken steps on most of those ladder rungs myself. 

[recom273]

Interesting topic - I sometimes feel, like when you go to “Dooooo home” and there are a group of reprobates, I mean employees flopped over boxes of tiles watching TikTok on their phones, and one or two will wai, bow and give a long drawn out “saaaawaaatdeee” - I just wish they wouldn’t. 
 

I do notice a lot of Asians just can’t respond to a greeting, they resort to the “I’m fine thanks and you?” - I don’t see it as racist or rude, maybe more socially inept or awkward. 

[JimTripper]

 

27 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

You may view yourself as a friendly, welcoming, wonderful sort of guy.  But others may view you as just a creep.  Maybe best if you just mind your own business and stop harassing strangers. 

Plus, an elevator is an enclosed tight space. We are talking people with their back to you, body odors, and potentially no security cameras.

 

I would err on the side of caution, esp if it's male/female.

[proton]

Why go around greeting strangers? just ignore them

[bkk6060]

About the only places they greet you nowadays is 7-11.  They rarely say thank you even after leaving a tip. And, rarely look at you when you walk past them.  Probably never taught proper etiquette or interaction.  Generally, I see this place being less and less friendly toward others.

 

[Neeranam]

1 minute ago, bkk6060 said:

About the only places they greet you nowadays is 7-11.  They rarely say thank you even after leaving a tip. And, rarely look at you when you walk past them.  Probably never taught proper etiquette or interaction.  Generally, I see this place being less and less friendly toward others.

 

Why do you tip at 7/11?

[zhounan]

22 minutes ago, cdemundo said:

I live in an affluent suburb of Bangkok. There is a much used walking path (really a low traffic loop of city streets) very near to where I live.

I walk there several times a week. Maybe half of the walkers say hello. About a third of them introduce themselves, ask my name, ask after my well-being etc. In general they chat and joke with me as far as their English proficiency allows.

 

There are some who I thought standoffish until I said hi to them first and then they turned out to be friendly.

 

These are largely retired folks and from all appearances well-to-do if not wealthy.

 

There is only one out of about 30 regular walkers who seems to feel superior (at least it seems that way).

These are people who could easily look down on me as a foreigner, they may not be HI-SO but they are definitely not low status individuals.

 

So my thinking is that just like anywhere, xenophobia, snobbishness, and maybe just a desire to be left alone exist but are certainly not universal among Thais.

In fact, now that you point it out, those who weigh the greeting usually are those from 30-40 years old. The young and old don't mind responding to a 'sawadeekrub" or "good morning." I myself have recently passed the 30 and it seems strange to me. 

 

But in reading the comments in this thread, I found that some people consider a basic greeting as harassment so, there is no end to surprise.

 

 

 

 

 

[fondue zoo]

Give them a hug, full body, ask what's wrong, see what happens.  

[sirineou]

Quote

How do you react to Thais who do not respond to greetings?

I don't take it personally. 

Number one lesson in sales is not to take rejection by strangers personally and allow it to change your behavior.   

You don't know what kind of personal drama they are dealing with, and they don't know you. What they are reacting to is their personal issues and their perception of you and how your presence affects them, 

. Little you can do about that 

[brewsterbudgen]

46 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Up to 65 and more die daily on the roads, mainly because laws on the books aren't enforced, people are paid off, and a wai, and maybe a bribe, gets many out of situations where jail time is mandatory. Locals do not pay child support for the children they make, meaning the men. This absence of fathers, and eventually mothers, who feel the need to go elsewhere to work instead of staying with their children, at least giving the kids one parent who raises them, leaves many kids to fend for themselves, as grandmas, many of whom are illiterate and not capable of taking good responsibility, can't do the job. This lets children to grow up with no guidance, which of course lets them do what their peers do, which is mistreating women, animals, and leaving the kids they make also, repeating the pattern of many decades. Corruption here is huge, and the human trafficking that is sometimes protected by this corruption, lets it flourish. In a democracy, which is the best source of government, the people can elect new leaders. The people here do not have much of a say. Leaders elected are put aside and the rich who are in charge put one of their own in position. This would be okay if they did the job intended, which is to help all people. Yes, in America, sometimes, or actually may times, a leader is voted in place who does more harm than good, but at least the people have a say in who's elected. Expats are treated as outsiders, whereas Thais are accepted in the US as like all others, except by those who are racist or prejudiced., and not allowed to work in most jobs. In the US, you can get most any job a citizen has eventually. Women and girls are considered second class here. This isn't the case in other countries besides some Muslim and other Asian. They are slaves to the men in many cases, a place where boys, many useless, are put in higher regard than the girls, who usually are the ones trying to get ahead. Thousands of food stalls are unlicensed and many get sick from the food they serve in filthy conditions. Animals, especially dogs, are allowed to roam free because no one takes care of them or their offspring, besides the spay and neuter programs who are sometimes frowned upon, and the laws are there to keep this from happening but aren't enforced strictly. Greed is very high here, and scammers are everywhere, which doesn't help with tourism but has been hurting it more and more. Thailand's image of a place to go and have a good time has been tainted by this and crime towards foreigners. Punishment should be dealt out more, especially towards those who are targeting farangs, for the same reason. This is a beautiful country, with many good people, but it's gotten worse for decades now, and is one reason I will take my daughter from here to give her a better life back home. I don't see things improving until the younger crowd gets their say and removes the ones who have been doing the damage for years. This also happens in the US, but as mentioned, there you can get rid of the garbage by voting them out, or punishing them when they commit crimes.

 

I'm sure you've made some good points, but the lack of paragraphing doesn't make me want to try to read what you've written.

[mancub]

I find "A nod is as good as a wai to a blind man". as the saying goes, sort of !

[fredwiggy]

10 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

 

I'm sure you've made some good points, but the lack of paragraphing doesn't make me want to try to read what you've written.

Up to 65 and more die daily on the roads, mainly because laws on the books aren't enforced, people are paid off, and a wai, and maybe a bribe, gets many out of situations where jail time is mandatory.                                                                                                                                                                                         Locals do not pay child support for the children they make, meaning the men. This absence of fathers, and eventually mothers, who feel the need to go elsewhere to work instead of staying with their children, at least giving the kids one parent who raises them, leaves many kids to fend for themselves, as grandmas, many of whom are illiterate and not capable of taking good responsibility, can't do the job. This lets children to grow up with no guidance, which of course lets them do what their peers do, which is mistreating women, animals, and leaving the kids they make also, repeatiing the pattern. Corruption here is huge, and the human trafficking that is sometimes protected by this corruption, lets it flourish. In a democracy, which is the best source of government, the people can elect new leaders. The people here do not have much of a say. Leaders elected are put aside and the rich who are in charge put one of their own in position. This would be okay if they did the job intended, which is to help all people. Yes, in America, sometimes, or actually may times, a leader is voted in place who does more harm than good, but at least the people have a say in who's elected.                                 Expats are treated as outsiders, whereas Thais are accepted in the US as like all others, except by those who are racist or prejudiced., and not allowed to work in most jobs. In the US, you can get most any job a citizen has eventually.                                                                                                                             Women and girls are considered second class here. This isn't the case in other countries besides some Muslim and other Asian. They are slaves to the men in many cases, a place where boys, many useless, are put in higher regard than the girls, who usually are the ones trying to get ahead. Thousands of food stalls are unlicensed and many get sick from the food they serve in filthy conditions.                                                                                                       Animals, especially dogs, are allowed to roam free because no one takes care of them or their offspring, besides the spay and neuter programs who are sometimes frowned upon, and the laws are there to keep this from happening but aren't enforced strictly.                                                                        Greed is very high here, and scammers are everywhere, which doesn't help with tourism but has been hurting it more and more. Thailand's image of a place to go and have a good time has been tainted by this and crime towards foreigners. Punishment should be dealt out more, especially towards those who are targeting farangs, for the same reason.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           This is a beautiful country, with many good people, but it's gotten worse for decades now, and is one reason I will take my daughter from here to give her a better life back home. I don't see things improving until the younger crowd gets their say and removes the ones who have been doing the damage for years. This also happens in the US, but as mentioned, there you can get rid of the garbage by voting them out, or punishing them when they commit crimes                I know it's easier for some .

Edited February 20 by fredwiggy