Online romance and marriage, or prostitution or ?

[Ben Zioner]

8 hours ago, billd766 said:

Why do YOU need to KNOW where the poster lives.

 

It has nothing to do with you.

Of course I need to know, there is an "unhappy" 16 years old girl nearby...

 

U a bit slow mate.

[BritManToo]

10 hours ago, Barnet1900 said:

From his pov. Did he know she was 16? How did he get to meet a 16 year old online when the dating aps ask that you consent to being 18? Why would he pay that much cash just for sex? Maybe he genuinely loved her and soon found out that after his cash was taken the goalposts changed. Could be that he's the one being deceived. Could being the all-important word.

Age of consent with parents permission is 15, age of consent if married is 13.

No crime was committed in the OP.

[Barnet1900]

20 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Good post, there could be lots of things going on, including lots of shady things.

Imagine she told him that her parents want to send her into prostitution. And she told the guy she doesn't want that and he can rescue her by marrying her. It could be. Lots of other situations could be. I think we should be very careful making up our minds about her and him and her family. All and each of them could be predators and all and each of them could be innocent. Could... 

I used to get told all sorts of things about any Thai - westerner relationships. Due to my naivety at the time I used to take it all in. Then I got involved in a relationship (28 year old not 16) and the same crap started getting stirred up about us.

 

I'm not reflecting this on this situation but it seems a hell of a lot of gossip is spiteful, pathetic and utterly unfounded. Pure jealousy.

 

As the old saying goes, there's always another side to the story.

 

Call it cynicism, negativity, I really couldn't give a monkey's, I simply don't take in what either party says when it comes to a relationship breakdown.

 

Today's news is tomorrow's fish n chip wrapping.

[brewsterbudgen]

Why would he expect any of his money back? It's hardly surprising the relationship didn't work out but he got what he wanted (the old pervert).  I suspect if he continues to hang around the village causing problems he will get what's coming to him - and it won't be his money back! 

[South]

Why the hell would a 40/50 year old man (no matter where he comes from) be interested in a 16 yr old teenager whom he cannot communicate with? Go back 10yrs, he would have been 30/40 and she would have been 6! Sickening. 🤢🤮

[BangkokReady]

On 4/21/2024 at 1:06 PM, william61 said:

So many things are wrong, so many red flags, and with a foreigner involved (who should know better!).

 

Aren't you describing the foreigner as kind of a predator?  Why should he "know better"?  It doesn't sound like he's gotten himself into any trouble.

 

On 4/21/2024 at 1:06 PM, william61 said:

If the girl would have been forced to go with the guy then this would be trafficking but luckily she is still in the village.

 

Is it trafficking if they're married?

 

On 4/21/2024 at 1:06 PM, william61 said:

I am interested to hear your views and if there are similar experiences, and suggestions on what to do / not to do.

 

Views?  Not great, but it is Thailand.  The locals do it regularly (or so I'm led to believe) and I don't think it's even frowned upon.  As long as the guy has money.  Suggestions?  Don't do it yourself, stick with the over 18s.  If someone else does it, keep your nose out.

[BangkokReady]

21 hours ago, soi3eddie said:

Always amusing when seeing an older guy and younger lady using Google translate. Whether in a bar in Hua Hin or on street in Soi 4 Bangkok. Come on guys. You can, and should, be better than that!

 

So you meet someone that seems interested, but they don't speak English and you don't speak Thai, so you aren't allowed to try and have any sort of relationship because you say so?  Ridiculous.  Do what you want.

[BangkokReady]

On 4/21/2024 at 4:23 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

In above case: Would the parents have agreed to a marriage of her to a Thai guy if he paid enough? What if that guy would use her just for sex?

 

I think if it was a Thai, or even a foreigner who was a little more grounded, it would have been fine.  Thai people don't view relationships the same way as Westerners do.  I imagine that if it was a Thai man, he probably would have been a little more switched on to the fact that it was a lot more of a financial relationship than a romantic one (he pays, she cooks, cleans and provides sex).  Perhaps the foreign man expected the 16 year old girl to behave like someone deeply in love, and when she did not, he couldn't take it.  It seems as though there must be some element where the reality did not match the expectations, since he arranged it, moved there, then changed his mind.  Perhaps he thought that the whole family would be serving him, but it was the other way round.  Or perhaps the girl offered only sex and nothing else.  Who knows?

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, South said:

Why the hell would a 40/50 year old man (no matter where he comes from) be interested in a 16 yr old teenager whom he cannot communicate with? Go back 10yrs, he would have been 30/40 and she would have been 6! Sickening. 🤢🤮

And 10 years in the future she would be 26. And 20 years ago she would not have been born. What kind of logic is that?

 

Many 16 year old girls have sex. And it seems she was online, and it seems she "convinced" him to marry her. So, it seems she wasn't the innocent child. And according to the story the parents agreed to the marriage. 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

 

I think if it was a Thai, or even a foreigner who was a little more grounded, it would have been fine.  Thai people don't view relationships the same way as Westerners do.  I imagine that if it was a Thai man, he probably would have been a little more switched on to the fact that it was a lot more of a financial relationship than a romantic one (he pays, she cooks, cleans and provides sex).  Perhaps the foreign man expected the 16 year old girl to behave like someone deeply in love, and when she did not, he couldn't take it.  It seems as though there must be some element where the reality did not match the expectations, since he arranged it, moved there, then changed his mind.  Perhaps he thought that the whole family would be serving him, but it was the other way round.  Or perhaps the girl offered only sex and nothing else.  Who knows?

Do we know what girls really think?

It seems some girls love the fact that they have a (relative) rich boyfriend or husband, and they can show the big sister or the family or their friends something like: Look at me, I am young, and I don't work, and I live in luxury, and he does whatever I want. You work and don't live in luxury. Look at me!

 

I think some people think a young girl would prefer to live with a young guy who has just about enough money to survive. But obviously they love each other so much and life is so romantic.

Really? I am sure some girls like that, but I also understand that others think differently.

And from a perspective from someone rich (i.e. the typical western feminists) it's easy to romanticize the love of poor people. 

[Jaggg88]

On 4/21/2024 at 3:15 PM, Nick Carter icp said:

The girl and the Parents can file police charges for underaged sex 

They don't know where he lives

[itsallmine68]

On 4/21/2024 at 1:06 PM, william61 said:

This happened near the village where we have a home where we stay when not in Bangkok. 

One young village girl, 16 years old and from a poor family found an 40/50 year old expat online from a city 50 or 60 km away, and they chatted online for few months. He speaks and chats in English and she only knows Thai. Then a month ago, during the school holiday the guy visited and offered to marry the girl.  The family seemed to think a dream came true and asked for half million baht financial support, which was negotiated down to 200.000 or less.  There was no real marriage and no paperwork done. Lots of stories were going around as the family has to ask other villagers to help with translations...

 

Then the guy stayed in the village for a month with the girl and after the first days it went downhill according to the stories. The guy could not communicate in Thai and his only interest seems to be in the sex.   He then left and took all that he bought for the family with him. Now they seem to have broken up, with the girl staying in another village for her safety, and the foreigner coming back the first time, threatening with lawyers and police to demand back the money, and coming back a few days later with flowers to make up and ask to take the girl with him.

 

Surprisingly, after all this time, nobody knows his name or address, not even the "wife". Nobody knows where he lives, what he does for a living etc.

So many things are wrong, so many red flags, and with a foreigner involved (who should know better!).

If the girl would have been forced to go with the guy then this would be trafficking but luckily she is still in the village.

I am interested to hear your views and if there are similar experiences, and suggestions on what to do / not to do.

PURE GOSSIP

[cdemundo]

On 4/21/2024 at 1:17 PM, transam said:

Best to mind your own business.............

Exactly... MYOB Mrs. Kravitz.

[newbee2022]

On 4/21/2024 at 2:50 PM, Hummin said:

This is how they practiced arranged marriages before, and still some few choose to either send their daughters away to find work, or find a husband to them. 

 

So what is their options, if not able to create a life for themselves? Either fabric somewhere if lucky, or "pattaya" jst for the generalization sake

 

 

The parents sell their daughters. Indeed, for a better life. A better life for the parents, a better life for the young daughter, and...a better life for farang. So they are all happy? Unfortunately there is a bitter taste in this marriage/business. 😵‍💫

[Acharn]

On 4/21/2024 at 3:15 PM, Nick Carter icp said:

The girl and the Parents can file police charges for underaged sex 

Not if the girl is 16 and the farang married her in the amphoe. Probably not at all since the parents seem to have consented to a marriage. The law on prostitution passed in December, 1996, even allows marriage at 14  with the parents consent, IIRC. Not sure if parents' consent is needed at age 16.

Edited April 23 by Acharn

[Nick Carter icp]

8 minutes ago, Acharn said:

Not if the girl is 16 and the farang married her in the amphoe. Probably not at all since the parents seem to have consented to a marriage. The law on prostitution passed in December, 1996, even allows marriage at 14  with the parents consent, IIRC. Not sure if parents' consent is needed at age 16.

 

   The legal age to get married in Thailand is 20 years old .

Even if the 16 year girl did give consent at the time , she can still change her mind afterwards . 

She can consent to sex one day and change her mind and then file Police charges the next day 

Edited April 23 by Nick Carter icp

[Nick Carter icp]

On 4/22/2024 at 6:55 AM, BritManToo said:

Age of consent with parents permission is 15, age of consent if married is 13.

No crime was committed in the OP.

 

   You may have gotton away with it , but that doesn't make it legal .

Sex with a 13 year old is illegal .

20 years old is the legal age for marriage , 17 if Court permission .

The girl/parents  can threaten him with legal action if he pesters her in future

[thesetat]

On 4/21/2024 at 1:06 PM, william61 said:

This happened near the village where we have a home where we stay when not in Bangkok. 

One young village girl, 16 years old and from a poor family found an 40/50 year old expat online from a city 50 or 60 km away, and they chatted online for few months. He speaks and chats in English and she only knows Thai. Then a month ago, during the school holiday the guy visited and offered to marry the girl.  The family seemed to think a dream came true and asked for half million baht financial support, which was negotiated down to 200.000 or less.  There was no real marriage and no paperwork done. Lots of stories were going around as the family has to ask other villagers to help with translations...

 

Then the guy stayed in the village for a month with the girl and after the first days it went downhill according to the stories. The guy could not communicate in Thai and his only interest seems to be in the sex.   He then left and took all that he bought for the family with him. Now they seem to have broken up, with the girl staying in another village for her safety, and the foreigner coming back the first time, threatening with lawyers and police to demand back the money, and coming back a few days later with flowers to make up and ask to take the girl with him.

 

Surprisingly, after all this time, nobody knows his name or address, not even the "wife". Nobody knows where he lives, what he does for a living etc.

So many things are wrong, so many red flags, and with a foreigner involved (who should know better!).

If the girl would have been forced to go with the guy then this would be trafficking but luckily she is still in the village.

I am interested to hear your views and if there are similar experiences, and suggestions on what to do / not to do.

Seems to me by your story.. The man who is 40-50 years old went there and paid off the parents and had sex with the 16 year old girl. Highly illegal and even if he did it with the parents permission the police can and will prosecute him if the parents make a case about it. I would suggest you tell the family to go to the police. It does not matter if he left and now is demanding the money back. He was wrong in the first place and probably should have to pay more to stay out of jail. The family can also make a case for theft since he took all he bought and gave them. The police can track down who he is by his chat name and his phone number. 

[OneMoreFarang]

It's amazing how many people here pretend they know all the relevant Thai laws about marriage and sex with a 16-year-old girl.

 

"The age of consent in Thailand is 15 regardless of gender or sexual orientation, as specified by article 279 of the Thai Criminal Code. The current legislation applies to all regardless of gender or sexual orientation."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Asia#Thailand

https://www.siam-legal.com/thailand-law/legal-age-of-consent-in-thailand

 

Hint: Only because you think it should be illegal doesn't mean it is actually illegal. Different countries, different laws, and different ways of doing things (i.e. sinsod). 

 

P.S.: I know there are some restrictions if the parents complain. But in this case it seems the parents explicitly agreed.

[geisha]

On 4/21/2024 at 11:46 AM, Hummin said:

For me it would had been a no go no matter what, and for many reasons. 

 

Two main reasons

The age

Lack of Communication 

 

 

Many Thai girls get married at that age. A bit less in today’s world. 

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, geisha said:

Many Thai girls get married at that age. A bit less in today’s world. 

And in today's world they still f*%* and have babies. 

[Acharn]

On 4/23/2024 at 3:29 PM, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   The legal age to get married in Thailand is 20 years old .

Even if the 16 year girl did give consent at the time , she can still change her mind afterwards . 

She can consent to sex one day and change her mind and then file Police charges the next day 

Do you have a reference to that legal age for marriage? Please see this article from Thaiguider. It's really quite complex, but I think from this that the age to give consent to marriage is 18. As far as the granting of consent, the Thai police have complained that it is almost impossible to prove whether or not sex took place. Two people going to a privacy hotel is not proof that they had sex there. Sexual assault charges are underreported in Thailand.

[Hummin]

On 4/23/2024 at 8:14 PM, geisha said:

Many Thai girls get married at that age. A bit less in today’s world. 

Should that comfort middle aged men, and legitimate marry a 16 year old "school"girl because they fancy girls with teddy bears, ponnytailes and school uniforms acting 12 years old? 

 

 

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Should that comfort middle aged men, and legitimate marry a 16 year old "school"girl because they fancy girls with teddy bears, ponnytailes and school uniforms acting 12 years old? 

You've just described almost every 30 year old Thai single mum I've banged!

You did miss out the bunny ear hair accessories and the 'hello kitty' cushions they all have. 

[OneMoreFarang]

17 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Should that comfort middle aged men, and legitimate marry a 16 year old "school"girl because they fancy girls with teddy bears, ponnytailes and school uniforms acting 12 years old? 

How about girls with teddy bears, ponytails trying to act like a 20 years old? 

[Hummin]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You've just described almost every 30 year old Thai single mum I've banged!

You did miss out the bunny ear hair accessories and the 'hello kitty' cushions they all have. 

But still she i 30 acting 12, 16 years old, do not act

[Hummin]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How about girls with teddy bears, ponytails trying to act like a 20 years old? 

More my style 

 

 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

More my style 

 

 

 

 

Music, good, nature, good, but how about a beautiful girl and not such old woman?

 

 

[Hummin]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

Music, good, nature, good, but how about a beautiful girl and not such old woman?

 

 

Perfect age for me, my wife is a few years younger thow, but I like women with curves, 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Perfect age for me, my wife is a few years younger thow, but I like women with curves, 

Curves are perfectly fine.