Has anyone had a good experience dating/marrying a bar girl or prostitute in Thailand?

[OneMoreFarang]

38 minutes ago, bob smith said:

43 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Many of us fall for many lies here

speak for yourself, Farang!

 

bob.

There are some of us who make mistakes and then they realize that they make mistakes and then they learn from that.

And then there are others who also make mistakes, but they are so full of themselves that they don't want to realize that they ever made any mistakes...

[nikmar]

1 hour ago, connda said:

Most women I've met could fall into that category

 

Working as an engineer in a small factory in Liverpool with a salary that could be described as nothing special, I had little female attention. I then got a job in Saudi and on my first return to the UK on leave, I was inundated. And i aint especially handsome.

[OneMoreFarang]

31 minutes ago, Ebumbu said:

I dated a TG who owned a beauty salon. I had been to the salon and it was legit, with some employees. After the 3rd date, I asked if we could go to a hotel room, and she agreed. Fast forward about an hour later and she asks me for 2000 baht. I said, "Why should I pay you? You're not a prostitute." To which she answered, "I know I'm not a prostitute. That's why I charge more!" 

I didn't see her again. Everything is a shade of gray here in LOS. 

That reminds me of the girl which I met in a bar in Pattaya and then I made holiday in Samui with her.

A week later a friend arrived, who also picked up a girl in Pattaya.

 

"My girl" was shocked. That is a prostitute! 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

58 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Quality comment mate. 

 

I found this comment recently on another thread, this guy has got himself a virgin, a cashier I'm sure. 😂

My first GF of 4 years in Bkk was a dancer, got out for a bit and went back into same bar as a cashier. I pity anyone that thinks a cashier isn't, or wasn't on the game.

 

BTW, the gogo is still there, though it has changed a lot. My tilac worked at Tilac bar on Cowboy.

[ChrisKC]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Unless you met your partner in high school, there's no way of knowing what her previous occupations were, or how many men she had.

 

But the divorce rate is over 50% indicating to me most women don't make good life partners.

 

At least you know a hooker isn't averse to sex!

In comparison marrying that young educated Christian virgin from a good family may well be a taking bigger chance.

But the divorce rate is over 50% indicating to me most women don't make good life partners.

 

You sure only the women don't make good life partners?

 

Plenty examples of men, just in this forum!

[bob smith]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

There are some of us who make mistakes and then they realize that they make mistakes and then they learn from that.

And then there are others who also make mistakes, but they are so full of themselves that they don't want to realize that they ever made any mistakes...

I've made many mistakes in my life but I am not a mug.

 

there's a difference.

 

bob.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I pity anyone that thinks a cashier isn't, or wasn't on the game.

I knew and know a couple of cashiers who are exactly that, cashiers.

One was a bartender, others started as cashiers.

Not everybody is same same, some are a little different.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I knew and know a couple of cashiers who are exactly that, cashiers.

One was a bartender, others started as cashiers.

Not everybody is same same, some are a little different.

 

I don't doubt that, but I'd never have trusted any girl worked in a bar that claimed she hadn't been with customers but was willing to go with me.

 

Q What is the worst feeling when with a BG for the night after doing the hokey pokey?

A realising she had been with someone else for a ST before.

 

I know they do, but I like it to have had a rest for a day before me.

Edited June 6 by thaibeachlovers

[Dionigi]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Unless you met your partner in high school, there's no way of knowing what her previous occupations were, or how many men she had.

 

But the divorce rate is over 50% indicating to me most women don't make good life partners.

 

At least you know a hooker isn't averse to sex!

In comparison marrying that young educated Christian virgin from a good family may well be a taking bigger chance.

Says to me that foreigners coming to Thailand do not make good life partners either

[scubascuba3]

45 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

lifetime companionship is probably the biggest benefit... - having a loving history and sharing family and children together... having someone to love and care about, who just might feel the same about you...

 

I see Kramer went red? Finally out of the closet? Good for him...  be true to yourself and your rainbow colors. 

Good that your wife or girlfriend is different.

 

King Charles liked the painting too

Edited June 6 by scubascuba3

[JRG23]

35 years ago I married a Thai girl, a well-educated trainee lawyer from a respectible family. She became a lawyer a few years after we married and lived in BKK.

 

We divorced 15 years after marrying. Dreadful marriage, no love between us. But beautiful kids.

 

I remarried with a bar girl from Pattaya 17 year ago. We have a wonderful relationship and have beautiful kids. We love each other to bits. And still live in BKK.

 

Take what you want from that. But it's the truth.  

Edited June 6 by JRG23

[Keeps]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't doubt that, but I'd never have trusted any girl worked in a bar that claimed she hadn't been with customers but was willing to go with me.

 

Q What is the worst feeling when with a BG for the night after doing the hokey pokey?

A realising she had been with someone else for a ST before.

 

I know they do, but I like it to have had a rest for a day before me.

You certainly don't want to be stirring somebody else's porridge.

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't doubt that, but I'd never have trusted any girl worked in a bar that claimed she hadn't been with customers but was willing to go with me.

Obviously, there are cashiers who go with customers.

But I wonder why a girl would sit for hours behind the cash drawer, work (often) hard all night, if she is not primary a cashier.

If she would go regularly with customers, then she would make multiple times the money from that compared from counting money.

[Yagoda]

Every time I go to Thailand I date bargirls or prostitutes but I havent found the right one to marry. Ive been doing it for 30 plus years so I guess IM not very sucessful

[simon43]

My ex-wife #2 worked in a bar in Bangkok.  She had some good attributes:

 

- She was a cute size, not fat

- She gave me the best sex that I ever had, (no doubt due to her vast previous experiences!!).

 

Unfortunately, she was also 50% 'mad' and 50% 'bad'.  Some of the things that she did reduced me to fits of giggles.  Some of the things she did reduced me to tears.

 

I used to have long chats with the local pharmacist as he looked through his medical drugs book to see what drug we could give her to reduce her paranoia and bipolar episodes.

 

Anyway, finally it all went bad after she got pregnant from a gay hairdresser and them claimed that I was the father... I divorced here and took myself off to teach in Myanmar, safe in the knowledge that the mad bat wouldn't follow me there.

 

We still keep in occasional contact via FB.  She's a lot older now and her hormones have calmed down.

 

 

[connda]

1 hour ago, bob smith said:

you married a bar girl as well??

 

bob.

Of course I am bob.  All married expats married bargirls don't 'cha know? 

Just curious - did your 'wife' prostitute herself to marry you.  You know - selling her p**** for financial security?  Just saying...

[bob smith]

Just now, connda said:

Of course I am bob.  All married expats married bargirls don't 'cha know? 

Just curious - did your 'wife' prostitute herself to marry you.  You know - selling her p**** for financial security?  Just saying...

if you knew me in real life then you would know how ridiculous that statement you just made actually is!

 

bob.

[connda]

2 minutes ago, bob smith said:

if you knew me in real life then you would know how ridiculous that statement you just made actually is!

 

bob.

We know your AN alter-ego quite well. 

[bob smith]

5 minutes ago, connda said:

We know your AN alter-ego quite well. 

care to share?

 

bob.

[Hummin]

The main thing with marrying in Thailand, as everywhere else, is to take your time, meet the family, even the drunk uncles, the gambling auntie, get a feeling how this will be, and also her friends!

 

You will soon know what you have to deal with! 

 

Have dated former bar girls who is settled and married in Europe now, and doing good, working and living decent lives. Have met educated daughters of police, army, academics who turned out to be pure gold diggers, so ? 

 

Met one who came out of a longer relationship, and me the same, we had no rush to become a couple, and took our time. During this time there where never a time she was out of battery, bad connection, question for money, drama hiding bad guilt or any misunderstandings. Simple small red flags, none

 

Good communication is essential for a good relationship. 

 

Long distance relationship with a pro? Leave her  in a tourist destination? Oh, 

 

Leaving her in village with a dysfunctional family ? oh, Good luck

[proton]

Marrying a whore who has sucked off hundreds from all nationalities and had thousands through her other orificies, probably a kid or two and mentally damaged, no thanks.

[proton]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I met my gf in a bar. She was the cutest dancer on stage. I took her out of the bar, and we are mostly happy together since many years.

She had just started to work in a bar, her bigger sister decided that is what she should do.

When my gf was out of the bar she didn't miss it, because she was not used to bar girl life for years.

 

I also know other couples where the girl or woman worked in a bar, some for many years. Some of those relationships work just fine, others not so much.

I think it is mostly a question of expectations. If both have a good idea what to expect, and what not, then that is fine. I think guys who live here since many years and frequent bars have mostly a good idea what to expect. Some of them know their girl a long time before they become a couple.

Guys who just arrive have mostly no idea what to expect - and obviously get it wrong.

 

And then there is the big question of what is the big difference between bar girls and "normal" girls. Lots of non-bargirls also want a rich guy and money. And some of them also f*$#^ed around with the highest bidder before they settled. IMHO the idea that a normal girl is always better than a bargirl is just wrong. Maybe she is, but maybe not. It's a question of the individual person and not a group of people.

 

Last but not least, what I like about the idea with bargirls is that it's easy to meet hundreds of them in person. Go to a bar, look at them, make eye contact, buy them a drink, and if you like her take her out. Maybe for an hour or a night or a week on the beach and look where it goes.

Obviously there will be lots of bar girls who are not what you want. Mostly you will know that before you bought her the 2nd drink. So, move on, look for another one. 

 

 

 

'She had just started to work in a bar'

 

Well that's what they all say, some people actually believe them!

[khunPer]

5 hours ago, AventurasEnMadrid said:

I know this topic is somewhat cliché but I am wondering if there are success stories of men who have married or had serious relationships with bar girls or prostitutes. Has anyone been able to feel like their former prostitute girlfriend/ wife truly left this life behind if they were only doing it out of necessity and make a good and honest girlfriend/wife? I am sure some responses will be horror stories and that is understandable but I am especially interested in hearing about success stories. Thank you.

Not many people will admit that – some might not even know all the jobs what their girlfriend or wife has had before – but many actually do marry an ex. bird from the nightlife and it seems to work quite well; I've been invited as guest to a number of nightbird's marriage parties and knows of several others.

 

The village girl or lady dreaming about "the knight on the white horse" – he might rather be driving in the white Mercedes car today – don't have huge chances to meet him, when waiting in the remote village near Nakhon Nowhere; available knights don't seem to come often by in that area. She will instead head down to where there are tournaments and all the white knights assemble to show off their capabilities. However, the village lady both needs an income and meeting place while waiting for the right white horse with a handsome knight to pass by, and the nightlife seems like the perfect match for both income and meeting points.

 

My lovely girlfriend for now 18 years has a past with a shorter period in the nightlife; the relationship has so far worked out very well; so, I presume a serious relationship is quite possible....

[Dexxter]

1 hour ago, Ebumbu said:

To which she answered, "I know I'm not a prostitute. That's why I charge more!" 

 

Someone should tell her what the definition of a prostitute is. 555

[charleskerins]

2 hours ago, connda said:

Define "prostitute."

Most women I've met could fall into that category other than hard-core feminists.  It's amazing how "wet" a Western farang gal can get for a wealthy, handsome guy especially one who is also a total Dick Richard, or a band member, or pro athlete, or socially connected, or economically connected.  Off come the skirt and it's horizontal mambo time.

Then you come to a third-world or developing world country where the concept of Christian-morality isn't at the top of anyone's list.  Even here in Thailand what is considered to be "traditional conservative Thai values" were in fact Western conservative Christian values that were imposed on the Thai natives by the leader of the 1932 Siamese Revolution by the military leader Plaek Phibunsongkhram.  He implemented the "Thai Great Tradition" and the "12 Thai Cultural Mandates".  The mandates go a long way in explaining Thailand nationalism as well as their dislike and distrust of foreigners especially at the elite levels of society.  Well, not that many farangs study history nowadays, no less Thai history.

 

But back to conservatism. 

 

What is pronounced a Thai cultural conservatism in dress and action was actually the result of Thai cultural mandate Number 10 implemented circa Jan 15, 1941.

• "Thai people should not appear at public gatherings, in public places, or in city limits without being appropriately dressed. Inappropriate dress includes wearing only underpants, wearing no shirt, or wearing a wraparound cloth."
• "Appropriate dress for Thai people consists of:
  • "Uniforms, as position and opportunity permits;
  • "Polite international-style attire;
  • "Polite traditional attire."

So essentially in one fell swoop - just like that - Thais were mandated to embrace Western attire and Western morality.  This was force on them by their military "leaders."  Thai conservatism isn't an "organic" occurrence.  It was mandated.  (Caveat - some of those outlawed dress styles like "wraparound cloth" became culturally appropriate post 2014 with Prayut in charge as Thai began to re-embrace their culture dress from the past.)

So you now have a very conflicted society, one that on the surface espouses conservatism in dress and morals, but underneath the facade? 

Giks, mia nois, shower massages (òp-àap-nuat), curtain hotels, karaoke bars (you think they just sing?) and that's basically a Thai cultural phenomenon geared for Thai men and one that is "Shhhhhh" rather disavowed unless you interact with Thai culture and society at a deeper level than foreign tourists, or even expats, encounter.

Then there is the bar scene geared specifically toward farangs and other foreign men.  And this scene gets all the attention in the press ("Don't look at the Giks, mia nois, shower massages (òp-àap-nuat), curtain hotels, karaoke bars - look at the bad farang sex-pats!!!")
So the gals who engage in the farang bar scene obtain the hypocritical labels Western men reserve for "loose women," e.g. "whores, prostitutes, sluts, etc," which of course is actually reflective of Western Christian morality.  "But I'm an Athetist!  Grrrr."  Yeah, but you reflect Christian morality with your actions and your language, "Bar-girls are all Whores!"  and "yada yada yada." 

Now - "Go native" and live here long enough outside the confines of farang gated communities and farang social clubs - and you see the realities pretty clearly: Sex in Thailand is a commodity and its widely for sale. Those engaged in the sex trade could be your next door neighbor (gigs and mia nois).  In the cities your next door neighbor could be working in karaoke bars or in shower massages.  The perky little university gal living in the next apartment over could be a side-line girl in a shower massage to pick up a quick 1000 THB before heading to the clubs, or finding sugar daddies on Tinder and other social media platforms.  Even your female "caddy" at your golf course probably makes significantly more money from her after hours liaisons with her day-time clients by "straighten your putter" on the 19th hole rather than what she makes by handing you your putter on the 18th hole.

But for the average expat or tourist closeted in their own cultural and social worlds - you don't see what is below the surface in plain sight. 

So do "bar-girls" make a "good date" or a "good wife?"  Well - as good as any Thai women who works in that particular trade be it in the Western farang community or the Thai male community.  It has a lot more to do with true Thai "culture" than it does a Thai woman's temporary choice of rather lucrative jobs.

 

Excellent post

[Kinnock]

Would be interesting to know how many men who regularly use prostitutes make good husbands.

 

Asking for a friend.

[charleskerins]

2 hours ago, Captain Monday said:

One of the worst scammer I ever met was the "nice" Thai girl playin' the long game

All lies in the end. Freelancers from a discotheque  more honest 

the long game     consists of about 8 months?

[Grumpy one]

Probably have as much luck with a 30 year old bar girl as you would with a 30 year old car here.

Both have been around the block way too many times 

[OneMoreFarang]

29 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

Would be interesting to know how many men who regularly use prostitutes make good husbands.

 

Asking for a friend.

I think for many of us this is something completely different.

 

At home is the loving wife and maybe the family and cuddling and kissing and you are my love.

 

And in the bars it's like: I want to f&%$ that one in any way possible. And I don't care about her name, and I don't even like her.

 

It can be something completely different.

 

And then there are of course the few moments, when things go wrong, and the good husband falls in love with the wrong girl. It happens. But I don't think that is what usually happens. 

[Gecko123]

Maybe there aren't always physical "mileage" issues and I agree that "morality" issues are very subjective and relative, but character issues do give me pause.  Especially if the process of extracting money from clients goes beyond a quid pro quo exchange of sexual favors for money and gets into the realm of manipulating guys (sometimes multiple guys at a time) to fork over monthly stipends, feigning compatibility (up to you), making empty happily-ever-after promises in order to get them to build homes and buy land registered in her name, or fabricating hard-luck stories, etc., etc. Then you're talking about whether they can be trusted, and in many cases, an almost sociopathic lack of empathy is required to successfully pull off the charade.

Edited June 6 by Gecko123