Welcome to Thailand: Where No One Can Drive and No One Gives a Flying Toss

[ChaiyaTH]

Could not even bother to read all this crap nonsense aside from the topic to be nonsense. You guys really have nothing to do in life is it?

 

[Photoguy21]

9 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

you'll be upset to hear that my thai gf is an excellent driver, she has five vehicles and drives all of them well. 

My wife and daughter are excellent drivers as well.

[mancub]

Saw a sign in English (Kata or Karon ? ) that simply stated " Beware" , with no other explanation . Remember thinking it could be posted every 100 metres on every Thai road.

 

[Dmaxdan]

3 hours ago, GanDoonToonPet said:

Thai drivers are simply the best in the world. That's a fact. If you feel differently you're simply wrong. Facts don't care about your feelings.

I'm presuming you've never been outside of Thailand? The horrific statistics don't lie.

[sidneybear]

So don't drive then.

[cooked]

3 hours ago, Ralf001 said:

Which Statistics?

 

WHO lists Thailand as having the one of worst traffic deaths rates in the world.

[cooked]

Take a step back, guys. If you want to change Thai driving habits then say goodbye to all that we love about Thai people. I had one accident in 15 years (the usual "Not my fault") and I have seen improvement in driving habits as the old guard, that learnt to drive looking at a buffalo's a**e slowly die off. 

[Ralf001]

8 minutes ago, cooked said:

WHO lists Thailand as having the one of worst traffic deaths rates in the world.

yeah but that is over all, this thread is a bout driving a car not riding a scooter.

 

so the statistic for car deaths would be what  iam asking for.

[IsaanExpat]

Luckily, i learned to drive in the desert of southern california where there were no roads or lines or traffic lights, so i do ok here.

 

Still call out the idiots constantly but the wife said as long as i dont use my horn she wont worry too much. People here in Udon Thani will actually pull a gun on you over traffic🤣

[IsaanT]

On 6/11/2025 at 12:44 AM, Lewie London said:

You know what’s mad about driving in Thailand? Everyone drives like an absolute numpty on meth, right, but no one’s angry about, yeah. I’ve clocked it. I’ve cracked the code, lads. Everyone’s a muppet behind the wheel, they all know it, and they’ve all silently agreed to just crack on with it like it’s some kinda national sport. It’s beautiful chaos in motion, really. Total carnage, but polite carnage.
 

Bloke on a scooter, smoking a fag, with three kids stacked on, all in shorts, no helmets, two barefoot, one in flip-flops, texting with one hand, dog hangin’ off the back like a circus act, and no one bats an eyelid. You pull that rubbish in London, someone’s lobbing a mug of hot java at your windscreen before you can say “oi.”

 

I’m sittin’ there, stuck behind some geezer doin’ 12 kilometers an hour in the overtakin’ lane like he’s out for a Sunday mooch, and I’m waiting for someone to start honkin’, screamin’, flashin’ lights, nada’, bruv. The lot of ‘em just glide by like, “Yeah, mate, that’s just how we roll." It’s like drivin’ through a meditation retreat, but the meditation’s pure chaos, minus any brain synapses.

 

And they don’t signal. Not even once. Indicators in Thailand are purely ornamental, might as well hang some fairy lights off ‘em. Changing lanes? Just go. Someone’s already there? Who cares, long as you arse-in first, you got right of way. If you survive, well done, if not, mai pen rai, see you in the next life, innit. And still no one’s screamin’ abuse, cool as cucumbers. Back home, you so much as drift over the line and some new-monied lebo anoose from Essex is inventin’ new swear words just for you. Here? Not even a tut. Just acceptance. It’s like everyone’s too busy stayin’ alive to bother gettin’ angry.

 

I’ve seen geezers get cut off so bad you’d think they’d pull over and have a tear-up in the gutter. Nope. Not here. Thai drivers get cut off and just carry on like someone politely nicked their spot in the Big-C queue. “After you, mate. Fancy nearly killin’ me today, did ya? Lovely stuff.” It’s mental. Like bein’ stuck in Grand Theft Auto with the blood turned off.

 

I’m startin’ to respect it, in a weird way. They’ve all accepted they’re terrible at drivin’, everyone else is terrible at drivin’, so no one’s shocked anymore. It’s democracy. It’s harmony. It’s beautifully thick. Like a national agreement that “we’re all terrible, so let’s just crack on.” Honestly, it’s kinda poetic. If Britain had this attitude, there’d be no road rage, we’d all die earlier like the 20,000+ Thais on the roads do every year, but we’d die with a grin, a Chang and a seven-toastie in hand.

 

So that’s me conclusion: Thai roads ain’t roads, they’re crash-dummy test arenas. And the first rule of the arena is, don’t complain, just slam on the accelerator and breaks are optional.

If you approach driving with the mindset of a foreigner coming from a country where rules and regulations are in use and generally adhered to and are too foolish to adapt, you'll suffer here.

However, if you observe and learn what the generally accepted practices are on Thai roads, you would drive accordingly and not complain about it.  You are in their country, after all.
 

[Thingamabob]

 I'm not sure if we are supposed to take your post seriously, but I would anyway comment that, speaking as a former club racer on both bikes and cars,  my Thai wife is an excellent driver, as are several other Thai friends. Also, in my home country, the UK, there are 3O,000 approx  fatal and serious injury accidents every year. 

[mancub]

On 6/11/2025 at 12:39 PM, Ralf001 said:

yeah but that is over all, this thread is a bout driving a car not riding a scooter.

 

so the statistic for car deaths would be what  iam asking for.

Perhaps you should think about "car related" deaths then. 

[mancub]

5 minutes ago, IsaanT said:

However, if you observe and learn what the generally accepted practices are on Thai roads, you would drive accordingly and not complain about it.  You are in their country, after all.

....and you too can become a statistic

[Thingamabob]

On 6/11/2025 at 9:29 AM, fredwiggy said:

A good driver can drive any roads safely. Thailand has signs in English anyway, and most of them anyone can figure out whether they can read Thai or not. I've had 2 accidents here and both were 100% their fault. Both due to them pulling out in front of my from a side road without looking. What I said stands. Using your mirrors prevents accidents from happening.

Sounds as though you were driving too quickly.

[jerrytr]

On 6/11/2025 at 12:44 AM, Lewie London said:

You know what’s mad about driving in Thailand? Everyone drives like an absolute numpty on meth, right, but no one’s angry about, yeah. I’ve clocked it. I’ve cracked the code, lads. Everyone’s a muppet behind the wheel, they all know it, and they’ve all silently agreed to just crack on with it like it’s some kinda national sport. It’s beautiful chaos in motion, really. Total carnage, but polite carnage.
 

Bloke on a scooter, smoking a fag, with three kids stacked on, all in shorts, no helmets, two barefoot, one in flip-flops, texting with one hand, dog hangin’ off the back like a circus act, and no one bats an eyelid. You pull that rubbish in London, someone’s lobbing a mug of hot java at your windscreen before you can say “oi.”

 

I’m sittin’ there, stuck behind some geezer doin’ 12 kilometers an hour in the overtakin’ lane like he’s out for a Sunday mooch, and I’m waiting for someone to start honkin’, screamin’, flashin’ lights, nada’, bruv. The lot of ‘em just glide by like, “Yeah, mate, that’s just how we roll." It’s like drivin’ through a meditation retreat, but the meditation’s pure chaos, minus any brain synapses.

 

And they don’t signal. Not even once. Indicators in Thailand are purely ornamental, might as well hang some fairy lights off ‘em. Changing lanes? Just go. Someone’s already there? Who cares, long as you arse-in first, you got right of way. If you survive, well done, if not, mai pen rai, see you in the next life, innit. And still no one’s screamin’ abuse, cool as cucumbers. Back home, you so much as drift over the line and some new-monied lebo anoose from Essex is inventin’ new swear words just for you. Here? Not even a tut. Just acceptance. It’s like everyone’s too busy stayin’ alive to bother gettin’ angry.

 

I’ve seen geezers get cut off so bad you’d think they’d pull over and have a tear-up in the gutter. Nope. Not here. Thai drivers get cut off and just carry on like someone politely nicked their spot in the Big-C queue. “After you, mate. Fancy nearly killin’ me today, did ya? Lovely stuff.” It’s mental. Like bein’ stuck in Grand Theft Auto with the blood turned off.

 

I’m startin’ to respect it, in a weird way. They’ve all accepted they’re terrible at drivin’, everyone else is terrible at drivin’, so no one’s shocked anymore. It’s democracy. It’s harmony. It’s beautifully thick. Like a national agreement that “we’re all terrible, so let’s just crack on.” Honestly, it’s kinda poetic. If Britain had this attitude, there’d be no road rage, we’d all die earlier like the 20,000+ Thais on the roads do every year, but we’d die with a grin, a Chang and a seven-toastie in hand.

 

So that’s me conclusion: Thai roads ain’t roads, they’re crash-dummy test arenas. And the first rule of the arena is, don’t complain, just slam on the accelerator and breaks are optional.

OMG I love it. And stop signs & red lights are just a suggestion. Lol

[Nicco]

The stories about how Thais obtain their drivers licenses are legend - their training, the test ...

 

I'm not bashing, just ask around.

[WDSmart]

I've always said most Thai drivers drive like they're driving a motorbike. They aren't concerned with lanes or turn signals, and they'll even drive the wrong way near the side of a one-way lane if they need to. Once, recently, when I saw an ambulance with a flashing red light in my rear-view mirror, I turned on my emergency blinkers and pulled halfway off the road on the left side. The Thai drivers behind me got very angry, honked their horns, and passed me, giving me dirty looks.

When driving here, you must practice "defensive driving" as best you can.

[J Branche]

The driving style here definitely has a learning curve.  That being said after the initial 2 months it all somehow makes sense and you kinda know what to expect.

 

I know in Pattaya I see more blinker usage than in Florida.

My Girlfriend will attest I hate most Bangkok drivers when they visit Pattaya

[KhunLA]

I feel safer, driving in TH, and have been hit less, -0- time, by other people, being their fault here in TH.    Been hit in USA, 6X comes to mind, their fault.  

 

I'm 70, bought first car @ 19/20 yrs old, have ~25 yrs driving in USA, and shy of 25 yrs driving in TH.

 

USA - 6

TH - 0 ... nuff said

[1FinickyOne]

On 6/11/2025 at 12:44 AM, Lewie London said:

the first rule of the arena is, don’t complain

sounds like you lost your own game - eh? 

[Skeety65]

On 6/11/2025 at 6:38 AM, MalcolmB said:

Great, another racist thread generalizing about all Thais.

90%+ of drivers are fine.

What planet are you living on or should I say what country are u living in as if you believe 90% of Thai drivers are fine you’re clearly living in cloud cuckoo Land.

 

also nothing racist about stating facts so stop being a drama queen. 

 

 

[Ralf001]

5 hours ago, mancub said:

Perhaps you should think about "car related" deaths then. 

So about 20% of the reported yearly road toll then.

[emptypockets]

On 6/11/2025 at 3:44 AM, Lewie London said:

You know what’s mad about driving in Thailand? Everyone drives like an absolute numpty on meth, right, but no one’s angry about, yeah. I’ve clocked it. I’ve cracked the code, lads. Everyone’s a muppet behind the wheel, they all know it, and they’ve all silently agreed to just crack on with it like it’s some kinda national sport. It’s beautiful chaos in motion, really. Total carnage, but polite carnage.
 

Bloke on a scooter, smoking a fag, with three kids stacked on, all in shorts, no helmets, two barefoot, one in flip-flops, texting with one hand, dog hangin’ off the back like a circus act, and no one bats an eyelid. You pull that rubbish in London, someone’s lobbing a mug of hot java at your windscreen before you can say “oi.”

 

I’m sittin’ there, stuck behind some geezer doin’ 12 kilometers an hour in the overtakin’ lane like he’s out for a Sunday mooch, and I’m waiting for someone to start honkin’, screamin’, flashin’ lights, nada’, bruv. The lot of ‘em just glide by like, “Yeah, mate, that’s just how we roll." It’s like drivin’ through a meditation retreat, but the meditation’s pure chaos, minus any brain synapses.

 

And they don’t signal. Not even once. Indicators in Thailand are purely ornamental, might as well hang some fairy lights off ‘em. Changing lanes? Just go. Someone’s already there? Who cares, long as you arse-in first, you got right of way. If you survive, well done, if not, mai pen rai, see you in the next life, innit. And still no one’s screamin’ abuse, cool as cucumbers. Back home, you so much as drift over the line and some new-monied lebo anoose from Essex is inventin’ new swear words just for you. Here? Not even a tut. Just acceptance. It’s like everyone’s too busy stayin’ alive to bother gettin’ angry.

 

I’ve seen geezers get cut off so bad you’d think they’d pull over and have a tear-up in the gutter. Nope. Not here. Thai drivers get cut off and just carry on like someone politely nicked their spot in the Big-C queue. “After you, mate. Fancy nearly killin’ me today, did ya? Lovely stuff.” It’s mental. Like bein’ stuck in Grand Theft Auto with the blood turned off.

 

I’m startin’ to respect it, in a weird way. They’ve all accepted they’re terrible at drivin’, everyone else is terrible at drivin’, so no one’s shocked anymore. It’s democracy. It’s harmony. It’s beautifully thick. Like a national agreement that “we’re all terrible, so let’s just crack on.” Honestly, it’s kinda poetic. If Britain had this attitude, there’d be no road rage, we’d all die earlier like the 20,000+ Thais on the roads do every year, but we’d die with a grin, a Chang and a seven-toastie in hand.

 

So that’s me conclusion: Thai roads ain’t roads, they’re crash-dummy test arenas. And the first rule of the arena is, don’t complain, just slam on the accelerator and breaks are optional.

Thanks Rooster. Stick to scrabble.