14 hours ago, save the frogs said:

This is turning into a soap opera.

Relationships can last weeks, months, years.

Does anyone have the time to follow the trials and tribulations of every single date you go on?

 

 

This man is the definition of a hopeless romantic, the direct opposite of me. I appreciate his sharing and find it endearing.

On 10/27/2025 at 4:44 AM, Cameroni said:

 

She doesn't know that, she thinks I'm 43. I look that good.

she's unethical for telling truth???

you're lying about your age. 

 

Matchmaking services never have enough men. Definitely western men would not be the first choice of most affluent, older, Chinese women.

7 hours ago, ericthai said:

she's unethical for telling truth???

you're lying about your age. 

 

 

Well, yes, her truth is unethical. She went on a dating app pretending she was looking for a relationship. in reality she doesn't want it, she just wants to have sex with as many as possible while getting money for it. Seems pretty unethical to me.

 

The age thing, yes, that's a tricky one. I've previously had another quality girl i met on an flight to KL, an Indonesian girl. Funnily also Christian girl. Evenually I told her full details of my past. When she found out I was married before and all the rest, she did not want to take things further anymore.

 

I also had a Filipina who did not know any of the details and then found out later. It was a shock to her system but she had invested so much for over 8 months that she decided to accept it and not end the relationship.

 

So, it seems clear that girls in their twenties often have the fantasy that they will meet a guy who was never married, no kids and not older than 45. My policy then is if they ask about any of these things, this means they are knock-out criteria for them, so you cannot tell them. If they don't ask on the other hand, like Bangkok girl, then they will know the truth because it is clearly not a knock out criterion for them. BKK girl found out and was not thrilled but it did not affect her much at all, because it was not a major criterion. Her ex was previously married with kids, so her approach is different.

 

It just seems to make more sense to tell them AFTER they've invested months into the relationship, as the odds of it being accepted then are much higher, than if you tell them when they've not invested much.

 

However, now with CM girl, this is a real problem. If we do continue to date it is a concern, because she asked not once, but twice about it. But I have more pressing intial concerns with her for now.

5 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

Matchmaking services never have enough men. Definitely western men would not be the first choice of most affluent, older, Chinese women.

 

I would imagine you have to disclose your income. I wonder how it works, if you have to disclose evidence of your earnings like for a visa.

 

If things don't work out with CM girl I may have to find a Chinesse girl that way, how does one find these matchmakers?

21 hours ago, NorthernRyland said:

 

This man is the definition of a hopeless romantic, the direct opposite of me. I appreciate his sharing and find it endearing.

 

He may be too idealistic.

I gave up looking for the "perfect girl" a long time ago.

Some are more attractive than others maybe, but at the end of the day, relationships are all the same. It's mostly about responsibility, not romance. 

 

29 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

He may be too idealistic.

I gave up looking for the "perfect girl" a long time ago.

Some are more attractive than others maybe, but at the end of the day, relationships are all the same. It's mostly about responsibility, not romance. 

 

 

I'm not idealistic really. Never in my wildest dreams would :I EVER have thought that a Yunnanese/Tibetan girl that is a protestant Christian would be my ideal woman. It just hit me in the face so to speak.

 

She was just another girl I wrote to and asked on a date before I knew her. It was only after I met her that I realised this is my ideal woman.

 

Physically she's not actually my ideal, she's slim, not short, has porcelain white skin, long black hair, and a pretty face, yes, but i wouldn't say her look is my ideal. Nevertheless, as a whole, as a woman, it's very clear this would be an ideal woman for me. But I only found this out after I met her and engaged with her. If I'd just looked her that would never have happened.

 

 

So I asked her for a daytime date this week. She replied right away.

 

"Sorry, I'm on a trip, ka".

 

"No problem. When will you be back?"

 

"On the weekend"

 

"Ok, have a good trip. Where are you going""?

 

Clearly this is a bad outcome. Either she's going on a trip with family, but she did not bother to tell me last Saturday. Or, I'm Plan B and some guy asked her to go on a trip, possibly her Ex.

 

Or could be just an excuse to let me down easy and avoid a 4th date.

 

I'd say I'm 80% out the door and 20% hanging in for dear life.

 

Kind of like being in purgatory. I'm still wondering if we can meet on the weekend when she gets back, if she went on a family trip. But not clear if she's with an ex or a new guy, or maybe just doesn't want to meet again.

 

But thinking about this, it can't be a trip with an Ex or a new guy. Because if it were, it would have been planned, and she wouldn't have gone on a date with me on Saturday, surely? Who arranges to go on a trip with a guy and goes on a date with another guy after that arrangement is made?

12 hours ago, Cameroni said:

I EVER have thought that a Yunnanese/Tibetan girl that is a protestant Christian would be my ideal woman

 

So what if she's from Yunnan? If you like Yunnan culture so much, why don't you move there? A Yunnan woman in Thailand will be just like another Thai woman because she will get absorbed in the local culture. 

 

Often what we think of as "ideal" in a woman is a bunch of criteria that don't matter much. 

 

Sometimes "ideal" is nothing that great on paper, but she ticks the boxes of just being a decent woman who will stick around and wants to be in a relationship with you. All other criteria may not mean that much. 

 

 

 

Also analyzing this further, it must be a real trip. Because if it were just an excuse not to go on a date, she could have said 2 weeks or 3 weeks. But she said only a few days, coming back this weekend. So the trip is most likely real.

 

Could be a trip with girlfriends. Or family.

 

Either way its' not good. Even if she's not travelling with an an Ex or a new guy, but with girlfriends or family, the fact she did not bother to tell me is a very bad sign. Not just on Saturday, but we were texting on Sunday. A trip like this would have been planned.

 

Unless, some guy hit her up for an instant-trip. Unlikely, but possible.

 

What a nightmare.

2 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

So what if she's from Yunnan? If you like Yunnan culture so much, why don't you move there? A Yunnan woman in Thailand will be just like another Thai woman because she will get absorbed in the local culture. 

 

Often what we think of as "ideal" in a woman is a bunch of criteria that don't matter much. 

 

Sometimes "ideal" is nothing that great on paper, but she ticks the boxes of just being a decent woman who will stick around and wants to be in a relationship with you. All other criteria may not mean that much. 

 

 

 

It's an interesting point. Perhaps all these things origin and so on are of little relevance. Perhaps it depends on the actual person. That's why i thought this girl was my dream girl, because of the person she was. I thought i just really liked her look, so maybe this Yunnan-Tibet thing was interesting from that aesthetic veiw, but also I read they are hard working honest people.

 

Yes, I suppose her being a decent a woman and agreeing to go on 3 dates was rather key. 

 

Good points.

12 hours ago, Cameroni said:

Good points.

 

Recently met a 31 year old and another woman who is 40s.

Who wouldn't pick a 31 year old over a 40 year old.

But the 40 yr old texts me every morning. I offered her help with sth and she started crying. She has been through some tough times and appreciated it when someone helped her with sth. 

The 31 year old is not that eager. I would have to do all the chasing. And who knows how many other guys are after her? She might be still playing the field. And even if I throw a ton of money at her, younger girls expect it, demand it, and maybe don't even appreciate it that much. 

And she has also stated that she wants to move back to Udon Thani. Never been there and not sure if I would want to live there. 

So "ideal" becomes a gray area. You want the hottest girl, but it's simply not always feasible or the best choice.

 

Guy from UK runs a restaurant I go to for breakfast. His Thai wife is not much younger than him, not the most attractive, but she's solid as a rock. Stands behind that counter and helps him run his restaurant and the guy won't have to worry about being scammed by his wife. Might even be in her name, but because she's not that young she won't eff off with his capital, I'm guessing. 

 

 

35 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

Recently met a 31 year old and another woman who is 40s.

Who wouldn't pick a 31 year old over a 40 year old.

But the 40 yr old texts me every morning. I offered her help with sth and she started crying. She has been through some tough times and appreciated it when someone helped her with sth. 

The 31 year old is not that eager. I would have to do all the chasing. And who knows how many other guys are after her? She might be still playing the field. And even if I throw a ton of money at her, younger girls expect it, demand it, and maybe don't even appreciate it that much. 

And she has also stated that she wants to move back to Udon Thani. Never been there and not sure if I would want to live there. 

So "ideal" becomes a gray area. You want the hottest girl, but it's simply not always feasible or the best choice.

 

Guy from UK runs a restaurant I go to for breakfast. His Thai wife is not much younger than him, not the most attractive, but she's solid as a rock. Stands behind that counter and helps him run his restaurant and the guy won't have to worry about being scammed by his wife. Might even be in her name, but because she's not that young she won't eff off with his capital, I'm guessing. 

 

 

Yes, that all sounds very sensible and rational. Settle for an older reliable woman. 

 

However, even older, uglier women can cheat, or decide they don't want you anymore. Just because she's older or ugly doesn't mean you have a guarantee. Yes, your odds are slightly better, but she's still a woman. 

 

The other problem I have with it is that when you're in your 50s, as I just learnt, dream women aged 25 will still go on dates with you. So you still have a chance. 

 

Even if, say it were to not work out with CM girl, encountering her has showed me what's possible, the calibre of girls that exist. 

 

I still think the chance of it working with a girl like CM girl is infinitely preferable to settling for an older woman. It just goes against my nature. Even a 30 plus I met, it just feels wrong. 

 

If I go through all the disadvantages, problems and issues of being with someone, then it has to be someone I'm actually attracted to. 30 somethings and 40 somethings don't attract me. Not whilst I know I can still be with girls like CM girl. 

3 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

I would imagine you have to disclose your income. I wonder how it works, if you have to disclose evidence of your earnings like for a visa.

 

If things don't work out with CM girl I may have to find a Chinesse girl that way, how does one find these matchmakers?

I popped down for an interview. To two places by Asoke. They tried to sell me a $7,500 package, then after a while they asked me if I wanted to try two dates for free, but pay 5000 baht if I wanted to go out a second time.

2 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

I popped down for an interview. To two places by Asoke. They tried to sell me a $7,500 package, then after a while they asked me if I wanted to try two dates for free, but pay 5000 baht if I wanted to go out a second time.

What do you make of the "Sorry, I'm on a trip ka" situation? Surely it's not just an excuse to not go on a date, as she said she'll be back on the weekend.

Not saying where the trip is is a sign of disrespect. Time to bail. Sorry.

12 hours ago, Cameroni said:

The other problem I have with it is that when you're in your 50s, as I just learnt, dream women aged 25 will still go on dates with you. So you still have a chance. 

 

Going on a few dates doesn't mean anything.

I met some young girls on the dating apps. They want support.

So this means 30K + per month, maybe for years on end.

And with a high probability it will end badly.

Anyway, go for it. Don't let me talk you out of anything. Some guys do pull off the 30 year age gap in Thailand.

So just go for it. 

 

Meanwhile, a 62 year old woman from Canada started writing to me via Reddit because she likes my posts there.

 

Pretty fit looking, in the travel biz, looking to retire to Chiang Mai, has her own $$$, and no dependents. 

 

Meeting people from the stream of life is better than apps.

 

But not if you need a lot of candidates.

1 minute ago, save the frogs said:

 

Going on a few dates doesn't mean anything.

I met some young girls on the dating apps. They want support.

So this means 30K + per month, maybe for years on end.

And with a high probability it will end badly.

Anyway, go for it. Don't let me talk you out of anything. Some guys do pull off the 30 year age gap in Thailand.

So just go for it. 

 

I know a guy who fell for a bar girl 30 years younger. They're at the 2 year mark and now she makes waffles at the night market. 

 

It's not my dream situation, but it def is his.

30 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

What do you make of the "Sorry, I'm on a trip ka" situation? Surely it's not just an excuse to not go on a date, as she said she'll be back on the weekend.

 

If she was interested or thought she might lose you, she would have suggested something. You are just salivating over her like a lapdog. 

Why didn't you ask her if she wanted to do the Shabu thing at the weekend?  She told you what she wanted and you ignored it. 👎 Your whole game seems so contrived and false.

I usually suggest what I'd like to do and ask if they've tried it. Nothing expensive, but either fun or tasty. I certainly don't take them to expensive places in order to impress. That is just sad.

You had a chance to show her that you were down to earth, by hitting a Mu Khrata, but you blew it. . 

The 24 year olds that I meet are more down to earth, 24 year old(she claimed. I suspect younger) Russian medical student would have been happy with McDonalds even though we went for seafood. Told me that she was uncomfortable with silences, so we had fun conversation.

Another Russian girl of the same age from St Petersburgh, Khao Niew Ma Muang. We ate one portion from the same plate and then went to the beach together. Most girls that I meet are happy to grab some street food and head to the beach. Because they are interested in spending time together and enjoying new and pleasant experiences

You guys are dating like old men. Sugar Daddies trying to impress. It's painful to watch.

Please try to maintain some dignity. Ask her if she wants to do the Shabu thing and if she brushes you off, accept it like a man.

2 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

Not saying where the trip is is a sign of disrespect. Time to bail. Sorry.

 

It could be she doesn't know where the trip is heading. She's very spontaneous. It could be she's flying right now and will text later where she went.

 

It's certainly not time to bail yet. Whilst her going on a trip without telling me is not great, at this point I'm just a guy she's dating. I'm not her boyfriend. She has no obligation to tell me she's about to go on a trip.

 

The fact she responded and said she was travelling, is actually good. If she were not interested she could have not replied at all.

 

Also, it's definitely a real trip. If it were just an excuse not to go on a date, she could have said she's back in 3 or 4 weeks, but she said she's back this weekend.

 

I talked to my Thai friend, and he said, this is very normal, nothing happened, just text her on Friday and you'll see. This doesn't mean anything.

2 hours ago, save the frogs said:

 

Going on a few dates doesn't mean anything.

I met some young girls on the dating apps. They want support.

So this means 30K + per month, maybe for years on end.

And with a high probability it will end badly.

Anyway, go for it. Don't let me talk you out of anything. Some guys do pull off the 30 year age gap in Thailand.

So just go for it. 

 

 

I agree on the big picture, obviously when dating your'e just a guy she's dating, and she's probably dating a few other guys too. You're not her boyfriend yet. That's true. But every relationship started like this, you go on dates and have sex for the first time. There is no other way to start a relationship.

 

My Thai friend said, this is Thailand, girls take a long time to make up their minds for a long term rel, it's very early. So you have to be patient and trust the process.

 

30K is crazy btw, pay them 8K and be done.

2 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

Meanwhile, a 62 year old woman from Canada started writing to me via Reddit because she likes my posts there.

 

Pretty fit looking, in the travel biz, looking to retire to Chiang Mai, has her own $$$, and no dependents. 

 

Meeting people from the stream of life is better than apps.

 

But not if you need a lot of candidates.

 

Yes, I don't like the dating apps. There's a lot of trash there.

1 hour ago, BatteringRam said:

 

If she was interested or thought she might lose you, she would have suggested something. You are just salivating over her like a lapdog. 

Why didn't you ask her if she wanted to do the Shabu thing at the weekend?  She told you what she wanted and you ignored it. 👎 Your whole game seems so contrived and false.

I usually suggest what I'd like to do and ask if they've tried it. Nothing expensive, but either fun or tasty. I certainly don't take them to expensive places in order to impress. That is just sad.

You had a chance to show her that you were down to earth, by hitting a Mu Khrata, but you blew it. . 

The 24 year olds that I meet are more down to earth, 24 year old(she claimed. I suspect younger) Russian medical student would have been happy with McDonalds even though we went for seafood. Told me that she was uncomfortable with silences, so we had fun conversation.

Another Russian girl of the same age from St Petersburgh, Khao Niew Ma Muang. We ate one portion from the same plate and then went to the beach together. Most girls that I meet are happy to grab some street food and head to the beach. Because they are interested in spending time together and enjoying new and pleasant experiences

You guys are dating like old men. Sugar Daddies trying to impress. It's painful to watch.

Please try to maintain some dignity. Ask her if she wants to do the Shabu thing and if she brushes you off, accept it like a man.

 

Well, she can't suggest something now, she's on a trip, and only returning on the weekend.

 

I was going to take her to a Chinese place if she'd agreed to daytime date this week. I only ignored it at the time, because I had already made plans. You can't let a girl jerk you around and just do whatever she wants, THAT's a lapdog. I calmly told her there was a place I wanted her to see and she agreed. In the end she loved that restaurant and it was really good.  The bad part was the bar afterwards.

 

There's nothing contrived or false about asking her on a date and then sticking to that plan, cancelling everything just to please her and go to Shabu would have been contrived and totally inappropriate, i'd be in her frame. Instead I maintained my frame, and made her go to where I wanted to go.

 

I did not take her to an expensive restaurant to impress. Remember, on the first date I took her to my house and we cooked pasta and I did not spend a dime. So therefore I HAD to take her on some expensive dates just to show I'm not a broke guy who can't go anywhere with her. Of course I will also show her I can do down to earth when we go to a market or Chinese restaurant. But you have to bear in mind, I still don't know the socio-economic situation of this girl. If her parents are rich or what. I saw photos of her in the Conrad, in Osaka, in Shanghai, sure it was the boyfriend who paid probably, but she doesn't dress poor, let me tell ya.

 

Exactly right, girls want new and different experiences. And streetfood or Shabu is not a new and different experience for her. Instead I took her in my world. And my world is going to top restaurants. Something different for her.

 

It has nothing to do with trying to impress, I really go to such restaurants, and this is my world, she has to see how I live. Of course I will also take her to markets, and cook pasta with her, I already did.

 

But you're right, nothing is lost yet, my Thai friend also said, just text her again on the weekend and ask her out, see what happens. This trip means nothing.

 

 

21 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Well, she can't suggest something now, she's on a trip, and only returning on the weekend.

 

I was going to take her to a Chinese place if she'd agreed to daytime date this week. I only ignored it at the time, because I had already made plans. You can't let a girl jerk you around and just do whatever she wants, THAT's a lapdog. I calmly told her there was a place I wanted her to see and she agreed. In the end she loved that restaurant and it was really good.  The bad part was the bar afterwards.

 

There's nothing contrived or false about asking her on a date and then sticking to that plan, cancelling everything just to please her and go to Shabu would have been contrived and totally inappropriate, i'd be in her frame. Instead I maintained my frame, and made her go to where I wanted to go.

 

I did not take her to an expensive restaurant to impress. Remember, on the first date I took her to my house and we cooked pasta and I did not spend a dime. So therefore I HAD to take her on some expensive dates just to show I'm not a broke guy who can't go anywhere with her. Of course I will also show her I can do down to earth when we go to a market or Chinese restaurant. But you have to bear in mind, I still don't know the socio-economic situation of this girl. If her parents are rich or what. I saw photos of her in the Conrad, in Osaka, in Shanghai, sure it was the boyfriend who paid probably, but she doesn't dress poor, let me tell ya.

 

Exactly right, girls want new and different experiences. And streetfood or Shabu is not a new and different experience for her. Instead I took her in my world. And my world is going to top restaurants. Something different for her.

 

It has nothing to do with trying to impress, I really go to such restaurants, and this is my world, she has to see how I live. Of course I will also take her to markets, and cook pasta with her, I already did.

 

But you're right, nothing is lost yet, my Thai friend also said, just text her again on the weekend and ask her out, see what happens. This trip means nothing.

 

 

 

She can reply even if she is 'on a trip'. Surely if a girl wants to see you again, she would readily agree. I won't bother to address your other assertions of being in her frame. I can only repeat that you are going at it like a Sugar Daddy. 

Like the guys who dream of retiring and drinking Margaritas on the beach. No connection with reality. If you cannot pull a girl without flashing the cash, you are lacking in something.

Do it your way. I expect a swift conclusion to the proceedings.

12 hours ago, Cameroni said:

30K is crazy btw, pay them 8K and be done.

 

It must be the going rate in this neck of the woods.

Should probably move to part of Thailand where 8K is more standard.

 

10 minutes ago, BatteringRam said:

She can reply even if she is 'on a trip'.

 

Yes, and she did, She told me she is on a trip.So there's no point to make plans now. She won't be here all week. And she doesn't know if on the weekend she'll be rested and in the mood to go out. Thai girls don't plan ahead like this anyway.

 

But, yes, clearly her interest is not high at this point. But that does not phaze me, because we've only been on 3 dates. It's veeerrrry early days.

 

12 minutes ago, BatteringRam said:

I can only repeat that you are going at it like a Sugar Daddy. 

 

That's just nonsense. I took her home on the first day and did not spend a dime. Just because we go to a nice restaurant that's not "Sugard Daddy" game. I did not pay her a dime.

 

13 minutes ago, BatteringRam said:

If you cannot pull a girl without flashing the cash, you are lacking in something.

 

Again,our first date was taking her to my place and not spending a single Baht. And she still agreed to go on date 2 and date 3. So obviously I'm not lacking in this regard and did not flash cash at the start. I just had to later to show I was not tight broke guy.

 

14 minutes ago, BatteringRam said:

Do it your way. I expect a swift conclusion to the proceedings.

 

Let's see.

14 hours ago, BatteringRam said:

The 24 year olds that I meet are more down to earth, 24 year old(she claimed. I suspect younger) Russian medical student would have been happy with McDonalds even though we went for seafood. Told me that she was uncomfortable with silences, so we had fun conversation.

Another Russian girl of the same age from St Petersburgh

 

So the medical student dumped you after how many dates?

 

26 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

It must be the going rate in this neck of the woods.

Should probably move to part of Thailand where 8K is more standard.

 

 

There is no "going rate". A woman will try to negotiate and tell you what she thinks she can get away with it. The same reason Phuket girl asks for 5000 baht to go out. She gets 10000 from her ex. So she thinks 5000 is reasonable.

 

Fact is a girl working in a factory makes 8000 to 12000 baht for a normal job. So the very vast majority of girls will accept 8000 happily for doing nothing. However, there are girls who earned 20000 in an office, very rare, girls who sell box who already have warped financial demands because of that. In fact I would be very wary if she's asking for a lot, if she not worked as a pro in the past.

 

There are some legit money girls who earned and command 50000 but those are very rare, and used up anyway.

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

 

So the medical student dumped you after how many dates?

 

 

She went back to Russia. They are on holiday mostly.