5 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

8k sounds like a bargain

 

You are married, then that should be out of question 

 

All my money I transfer pr month, my wife have access and also responsible to pay bills and shopping. It is not complicated if you trust your wife. She also got my bank card to my main account in Thailand, and also a credit card which is essential if something happens and Im hospitalized for an instance. 

 

If there where no trust, or trust is broken, then the marriage will end. 

8 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

I know you have probably posted before...... but what are you looking for in your "suitable condidate"  ?       

 

just one opinion (from my experience) .    the high standard that you put on unbelievably sexy ( my words) ..... is like a Hollywood movie .    Reality is that  sexual attraction is a limited experience ,  no matter how many costumes you have 😄.   I believe it is even a biological fact.

 

For highly stimulalated males..... the next great bedroom fantasy is NOT  with the current model .    Even beautiful movie stars know this is a fact of life (male and female)  

 

Maybe "open relationships"  is the way to go ?     ( jealousy usually does those in as well )

 

I've had so much sex, and explored the menu so widely that that's not really my concern. I could even live with a girl who doesn't do anal. It's not a key consideration for me.

 

Physical attractiveness is the foundation of course, I have to look at her when I wake up.  When that's a given a modicum of sexual compatibility, she has to like sex and be an enthusiastic participant.

 

She has to be loyal and honest, so trustworthy. And she has to have the ability to be led, and let the man lead, this one is rare today. Then she  has to be fun and have the happy gene. She has to be willing to make my life better, ie do chores, cook etc.

 

So the standard really.

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

 

I've had so much sex, and explored the menu so widely that that's not really my concern. I could even live with a girl who doesn't do anal. It's not key consideration for me.

 

Physical attractiveness is the foundation of course, I have to look at her when I wake up.  When that's a given a modicum of sexual compatibility, she has to like sex and be an enthusiastic participant is key.

 

She has to be loyal and honest, so trustworthy. And she has to have the ability to be led, and let the man lead, this one is rare today. Then she  has to be fun and have the happy gene. She has to be willing to make my life better, ie do chore, cook etc.

 

So the standard really.

You are funny 😆 

 

stay single, I truly believe that’s your future, do not try to go down the marriage path, not for you

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Why would they have ugly or annoying things that a partner can't handle?

 

Because every human being has ugly, unpleasant, dark and dislikeable sides. Everyone.

 

Ghandi was not much to look at. Giselle Buendchen was a cheating ho. So there are dark sides in everyone.

 

I'll give you an example. I was married for 20 years. My ex wife was an almost perfect woman.  But she had this habit of droning, when she started talking she'd get wrapped up in her own voice, her own wolrd, she wouldn't even notice the audience, and it would go on. Nothing serious you may think. And it wasn't. But if I had been exposed to that for 40, 50, 60, years....I could well see that as being very annoying.

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You are funny 😆 

 

stay single, I truly believe that’s your future, do not try to go down the marriage path, not for you

 

That was not a joke. I was very serious. 

 

And I will not stay single.There is no alternative to cohabitation. We are a pair bonding species.

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I've had so much sex, and explored the menu so widely that that's not really my concern. I could even live with a girl who doesn't do anal. It's not a key consideration for me.

 

Physical attractiveness is the foundation of course, I have to look at her when I wake up.  When that's a given a modicum of sexual compatibility, she has to like sex and be an enthusiastic participant.

 

She has to be loyal and honest, so trustworthy. And she has to have the ability to be led, and let the man lead, this one is rare today. Then she  has to be fun and have the happy gene. She has to be willing to make my life better, ie do chores, cook etc.

 

So the standard really.

You will stay single and continue frequenting the girlie bars, then.........🤔

Just now, transam said:

You will stay single and continue frequenting the girlie bars, then.........🤔

 

No, not at all. And I've never been to a girlie bar in my life.

 

I'm dating and the cream will rise to the top.

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

 

I've had so much sex, and explored the menu so widely that that's not really my concern. I could even live with a girl who doesn't do anal. It's not key consideration for me.

 

Physical attractiveness is the foundation of course, I have to look at her when I wake up.  When that's a given a modicum of sexual compatibility, she has to like sex and be an enthusiastic participant is key.

 

She has to be loyal and honest, so trustworthy. And she has to have the ability to be led, and let the man lead, this one is rare today. Then she  has to be fun and have the happy gene. She has to be willing to make my life better, ie do chore, cook etc.

 

So the standard really.

The most important things in a relationship are trust, future plans and communication. Those are the cement that binds.

 

Attraction is usually first in people not greed oriented, and attraction lasts if there are two mature people in the relationship, as everyone ages. Sex will always happen if you have those, and even does without them, but it won't last.

 

If two people share chores, no one will be disappointed. Remember you are getting older by the day, especially after 50, and she also has to look at you in the morning, and if shes a lot younger, you will look old a lot faster then she will to you.

 

Laughter together is how many stay together. When that goes away, everything else does. Laughter comes from good communication, and is one real reason many Thai/foreign relationships fail. Not being able to talk with each other leaves very little, as no one has sex all the time, especially as both age. And when a foreign man has a much younger wife and gets too old to have enough intimacy with her, she will look elsewhere, especially if that communication isn't there. 

3 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I've had so much sex, and explored the menu so widely that that's not really my concern. I could even live with a girl who doesn't do anal. It's not a key consideration for me.

 

Physical attractiveness is the foundation of course, I have to look at her when I wake up.  When that's a given a modicum of sexual compatibility, she has to like sex and be an enthusiastic participant.

 

She has to be loyal and honest, so trustworthy. And she has to have the ability to be led, and let the man lead, this one is rare today. Then she  has to be fun and have the happy gene. She has to be willing to make my life better, ie do chores, cook etc.

 

So the standard really.

 

your standards make sense to me .................... i think that what you will find is that YOU will

find it impossible to be satisfied..... once the honeymoon phase passes.

 

Then,  its start all over again ....... or work through the torture that us perfectionists have to suffer.    Before you know it you will be over 60 .   Then the "search"  for "true love" , incorporating trust and loyalty with those other traits you desire,  will be even more difficult.

 

 

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

No, not at all. And I've never been to a girlie bar in my life.

 

I'm dating and the cream will rise to the top.

Oh, she is likes coffee, that's a good start..........😊

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

That was not a joke. I was very serious. 

 

And I will not stay single.There is no alternative to cohabitation. We are a pair bonding species.

It takes a joke or some irony to take a joke 😉 

Nah OP! Asian women are running different software to those lunatics from back in the West. Asian women generally still value stability, comfort, and financial security over this blah blah blah "You go girl", "I don't need a man", "Be your best single self", "I have a long list of ridiculous standards for you to meet before we can date" entitled and deluded nonsense.

Sure, there are the bad girls here, but they are scammers... many Asian women are still older style and have no been infected by too much Western social media deluded garbage. Not saying it can't happen and change to be like that, but it'll take a while for sure... long enough to see me out anyhow.

1 minute ago, rumak said:

 

your standards make sense to me .................... i think that what you will find is that YOU will

find it impossible to be satisfied..... once the honeymoon phase passes.

 

Then,  its start all over again ....... or work through the torture that us perfectionists have to suffer.    Before you know it you will be over 60 .   Then the "search"  for "true love" , incorporating trust and loyalty with those other traits you desire,  will be even more difficult.

 

 

 

Only you can understand me, Rumak.

 

Yes, of course I am aware that it will merely be yet another repeat of the inevitable decline story. But with a few lessons learned this time around, hopefully, it will last for some time. 

 

I don't need total satisfaction. Just temporary satisfaction now and then, and I'm happy.

 

Clearly when I hit 65 plus I will be aware that even I will lose my enviable looks, so I will adjust my demands then accordingly ,even compensate if required. But for now, a loyal woman is all I need really.

 

If I were to be single after 65, I don't think that would be an ideal situation, hence, the earnest seaching now.

8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You are funny 😆 

 

stay single, I truly believe that’s your future, do not try to go down the marriage path, not for you

 

I forget your age.... but over 60 , right ?    A few good comments regarding relationships, from the oldtimers here. 

 

But..... OP is still a young at heart.    Not really ready to give up the hunt yet  ( at least a few more ups and downs to be experienced) .   And , imo ,  a lessening of expectations if really looking for long term

2 minutes ago, Sir Dude said:

Nah OP! Asian women are running different software to those lunatics from back in the West. Asian women generally still value stability, comfort, and financial security over this blah blah blah "You go girl", "I don't need a man", "Be your best single self", "I have a long list of ridiculous standards for you to meet before we can date" entitled and deluded nonsense.

Sure, there are the bad girls here, but they are scammers... many Asian women are still older style and have no been infected by too much Western social media deluded garbage. Not saying it can't happen and change to be like that, but it'll take a while for sure... long enough to see me out anyhow.

 

Oh how I wish that were true. But then how do you explain Feminist Buddhist monks? Feminist organizations in Thailand? There is only one explanation: The influence from the West.

6 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Because every human being has ugly, unpleasant, dark and dislikeable sides. Everyone.

 

Ghandi was not much to look at. Giselle Buendchen was a cheating ho. So there are dark sides in everyone.

 

I'll give you an example. I was married for 20 years. My ex wife was an almost perfect woman.  But she had this habit of droning, when she started talking she'd get wrapped up in her own voice, her own wolrd, she wouldn't even notice the audience, and it would go on. Nothing serious you may think. And it wasn't. But if I had been exposed to that for 40, 50, 60, years....I could well see that as being very annoying.

Yes, everyone has a dark side, but most are again, acceptable. Again, no abuse, cheating or neglect, everything else is a joke, as everyone does weird things. In any relationship, there is likely to be one that is talkative and the other not. As long as you don't ignore the talker, they won't get angry. Talking is communication, and it's not hard to join the conversation. You take talking away, you have little else.

 

If your ex talked too much or got out of hand and did all the talking, all you had to do was talk with her about boundaries, especially regarding talking with others around. Not to hog the conversation. People usually know what they're doing while sober, and explaining things in a nice way usually gets the point across. If she was perfect in all other ways, that talking could have been negotiated. Everyone puts on their best side while dating, and later you see the real them, and again, most of the idiosyncrasies people have are tolerable.

2 minutes ago, rumak said:

And , imo ,  a lessening of expectations if really looking for long term

 

I already had a near perfect wife. The reason I divorced after 20 years was to find someone better still. To now lower expectations would be a betrayal of my younger self really.

 

The next one has to be even better.

2 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

I forget your age.... but over 60 , right ?    A few good comments regarding relationships, from the oldtimers here. 

 

But..... OP is still a young at heart.    Not really ready to give up the hunt yet  ( at least a few more ups and downs to be experienced) .   And , imo ,  a lessening of expectations if really looking for long term

 

Im not 60 yet, I still lived a long life, and appreciate every day as a bonus day 😉 as it should for all of us

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

Oh how I wish that were true. But then how do you explain Feminist Buddhist monks? Feminist organizations in Thailand? There is only one explanation: The influence from the West.

Well, you are always going to get your fringe nutters everywhere... but hardly an impactful section of society. Dig deep enough on anything anywhere and there are nutjobs to be found.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

f your ex talked too much or got out of hand and did all the talking, all you had to do was talk with her about boundaries, especially regarding talking with others around.

 

I did. Do you think she reasonably accepted the criticism? Of course she was offended. Who wouldn't be when they're told you talk too long and you're boring at times?

2 minutes ago, Sir Dude said:

Well, you are always going to get your fringe nutters everywhere... but hardly an impactful section of society. Dig deep enough on anything anywhere and there are nutjobs to be found.

 

For now, for now, early days. But it's percolating into mainstream. I had a 24 year old Thai girl tell me I had to do housework and men and women are equal now. I almost fell off my chair.

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

and appreciate every day as a bonus day 😉 as it should for all of us

 

That's so true. What is the most important thing in your life? That you ARE alive. Everything else only has importance because of that fact. Yesterday 389,000 people died. Yet you are still alive. A blessed set of facts for you.

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

I did. Do you think she reasonably accepted the criticism? Of course she was offended. Who wouldn't be when they're told you talk too long and you're boring at times?

When a man talks in private, gently and with compassion,  with his wife and explains her talking is a little too much, she will think about it. Eventually others might tell her the same thing, which would be better, as it sounds less like criticism from a friend than a husband. Then you let it go and accept that's how she is. When did you tell her this? Was it after 19 years or as soon as you first noticed it? If you let things go on too long, they're more ingrained and without any complaints, they'll continue.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

When a man talks in private, gently and with compassion,  with his wife and explains her talking is a little too much, she will think about it. Eventually others might tell her the same thing, which would be better, as it sounds less like criticism from a friend than a husband. Then you let it go and accept that's how she is. When did you tell her this? Was it after 19 years or as soon as you first noticed it? If you let things go on too long, they're more ingrained and without any complaints, they'll continue.

 

Well, you know how incredibly tactful and gentle I am, so clearly it was her.

 

I just accepted that was one of her foibles. You can't change that sort of stuff. Even if you plead. And it was fine. I'm just saying, another 40 years of that and it would get very old.

 

I told her towarsd the end, year 18 or so, at the beginning these things don't even bother you. It was charming when she was still superhot and hypersexual. When they get older and less attractive, we become less indulgent. Just the way it is.

 

 

8 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I already had a near perfect wife. The reason I divorced after 20 years was to find someone better still. To now lower expectations would be a betrayal of my younger self really.

 

The next one has to be even better.

You had a perfect wife who talked too much. Finding another perfect wife who doesn't might never happen. Or she might not talk too much but have other annoying, to you, habits.

 

There is no perfect anyone. When people see celebrities on TV, that look glamorous, hot and sexy, they don't see them at home when they fart, have bad breath, pick their toes, have diarrhea, get sick and vomit, act like a dope after drinking, smell bad, get angry over nothing, are jealous of who you talk to, hate your mom, give you the silent treatment when you do something dumb, or many other human things everyone does at times. Again, unrealistic expectations end most relationships. 

5 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

You had a perfect wife who talked too much. Finding another perfect wife who doesn't might never happen. Or she might not talk too much but have other annoying, to you, habits.

 

There is no perfect anyone. When people see celebrities on TV, that look glamorous, hot and sexy, they don't see them at home when they fart, have bad breath, pick their toes, have diarrhea, get sick and vomit, act like a dope after drinking, smell bad, get angry over nothing, are jealous of who you talk to, hate your mom, give you the silent treatment when you do something dumb, or many other human things everyone does at times. Again, unrealistic expectations end most relationships. 

 

But bear in mind this perfect wife got 39 years old, so not so pefect, and she then insisted on children, so she focused her enegies on that, not so great.

 

Yes, nobody's perfect, but you know what you can get. And I can get better.

 

Just wait. It'lll happen. 

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Well, you know how incredibly tactful and gentle I am, so clearly it was her.

 

I just accepted that was one of her foibles. You can't change that sort of stuff. Even if you plead. And it was fine. I'm just saying, another 40 years of that and it would get very old.

 

I told her towarsd the end, year 18 or so, at the beginning these things don't even bother you. It was charming when she was still superhot and hypersexual. When they get older and less attractive, we become less indulgent. Just the way it is.

 

 

We "we" get older and less attractive, the things that keep us together are the cement. The communication, faithfulness, honesty, trust, care and love. If you didn't cheat, abuse in any way, or neglect them, they'll respond. If you keep looking for girls 18-24, in 5 years they'll be 23-29, and you'll be almost 60, and they'll see you as older. Add five years and it's done. If you're 64 and she's 34, you'll think shes too old, and so will she about you, so it's best to think of girls closer to your age now. 30-35 year olds are still hot if they take care of themselves, and when you're 74, almost out of commission as far as sex is concerned, they'll be 50-55, and those years will have you closer as partners. 

It's really a shame that it's not socially aceptable for men to have 5 or 11 wives. Like in Nigeria. Then even the older gals could get another ride.

 

It would take the pressure off. And if one is too annoying, doesn't pull her weight, you just let her be, and go to another one.

 

Maybe polygamy or the harem is what we need?

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

It's really a shame that it's not socially aceptable for men to have 5 or 11 wives. Like in Nigeria. Then even the older gals could get another ride.

 

It would take the pressure off. And if one is too annoying, doesn't pull her weight, you just let her be, and go to another one.

 

Maybe polygamy or the harem is what we need?

Then that's looking at women as slaves. as anything more than one isn't a partner anymore. You could always move to Utah if you'll still think that way . 

9 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

For now, for now, early days. But it's percolating into mainstream. I had a 24 year old Thai girl tell me I had to do housework and men and women are equal now. I almost fell off my chair.

Maybe so, but many young people, especially women, are especially deluded and social media brainwashed... whilst a lot of the younger dudes have just checked out as it's too much hassle, and they see it all as a trap and financial servitude.

Obviously, many women are freaking out about it all as they have watched far too many TikTok shorts about how they are supposed to be worshiped like a godess etc. blah blah blah... then wonder why they are single, as they consider this as normal (clearly no critical thinking going on). 

There is also much dispair and worry about the future in the young, as they think they have been screwed over by the system and older people (which everyone has, not just the young), thus turning them into emotional and bitter monsters... but it is still in the minority, here in Thailand at least, IMO. I meet many normal young women here and they are mostly nice and cool, and it could just be the general demographic of the type of young woman you meet in the touristy places... as with most things, it depends on multiple things and generalised sweeping statements are often unhelpful or misinforming. 

So, in answer to your question/statement, then I'd say not generally there yet here and depends on where you are and who you are... many variables to weigh up, but change is inevitable, especially in a social media-driven world with weak minds awash with nonsense from their digital devices all the time. I guess the human mind instictively tries to grab onto something to stabilize itself... however, what that turns out to be has ultimately a huge influence on the vulnerables as few role models exist in the real world for many. However, to be fair, you have made some noteworth and credible points worth considering... cheers.