In Pattaya, most massage shops feel like they’ll hire anyone who wanders in off the street, and the results show — half of them barely know the basics, let alone real Thai massage technique. You can go through ten shops and still end up with someone poking randomly like they learned their craft from a YouTube clip yesterday.

Every so often you stumble across an older, genuinely skilled masseuse who actually knows what she’s doing — and of course, those are the ones who vanish after a few months because everyone with sense starts booking them nonstop.

So what’s the actual strategy for finding a real, competent, traditional Thai massage in this sea of amateurs?

 

 

Trial and error is best, some of the very experienced ladies seem to be only able to do a too strong massage.

 

You can ask how many years experience, older ladies usually the most

23 minutes ago, NickyLouie said:

Pattaya, most massage shops feel like they’ll hire anyone who wanders in off the street, and the results show — half of them barely know the basics

Nope, I find the opposite.

The masseuse I'm looking for are always working at the massage shop I visit. 

 

My technique is look for the most beautiful girl sitting out of the front of the shop. She will give me my all in massage for very little money. 

 

I'm always leaving with a smile and leaving a BIG tip 

39 minutes ago, NickyLouie said:

In Pattaya, most massage shops feel like they’ll hire anyone who wanders in off the street, and the results show — half of them barely know the basics, let alone real Thai massage technique. You can go through ten shops and still end up with someone poking randomly like they learned their craft from a YouTube clip yesterday.

Every so often you stumble across an older, genuinely skilled masseuse who actually knows what she’s doing — and of course, those are the ones who vanish after a few months because everyone with sense starts booking them nonstop.

So what’s the actual strategy for finding a real, competent, traditional Thai massage in this sea of amateurs?

 

 

Go Healthland, its No1 in Pattaya

I thought it was well known that most of the massage shops in Pattaya are not really massage shops nudge nudge wink wink.

For proper massage perhaps try the

blind massage institute 

 

Thai Blind Massage Institute Moo 12 413/90 Thappraya Road Jomtien Pattaya 20150 Phone 038 251 851 for an apppointment This charity project, The Thai Blind Massage Institute, was opened in 1999 by Khun Sayan. He spent 4 years in the monkhood (from 13 to 17 years of age), which instilled within him kindness and social awareness.

 

1 hour ago, NickyLouie said:

In Pattaya, most massage shops feel like they’ll hire anyone who wanders in off the street, and the results show — half of them barely know the basics, let alone real Thai massage technique. You can go through ten shops and still end up with someone poking randomly like they learned their craft from a YouTube clip yesterday.

Every so often you stumble across an older, genuinely skilled masseuse who actually knows what she’s doing — and of course, those are the ones who vanish after a few months because everyone with sense starts booking them nonstop.

So what’s the actual strategy for finding a real, competent, traditional Thai massage in this sea of amateurs?

 

 

Go to a hospital where there are, (hopefully) qualified physiotherapists...

Siladon Spa knows their <deleted>.... great massage.

 

Or healthland.

 

For a legit, expert massage, Poo Na.... Soi Buakhao, just inside from Pattaya Klang.

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

Trial and error is best, some of the very experienced ladies seem to be only able to do a too strong massage.

 

You can ask how many years experience, older ladies usually the most

Ask if they have certificates, usually if they do, they are on the wall. 

2 minutes ago, kiwikeith said:

Ask if they have certificates, usually if they do, they are on the wall. 

I'm pretty sure they can get some certificates if they do a short course, anyway that's usually specific to a person, often the boss

 

 

You have to feel for ladies massaging 10 indian guys in a day in Pattaya, then you being the 11th customer expecting some michellin level of massage service. There's only so far the human spirit can take you. 

 

Avoid the massage places catering to tourists. 

3 hours ago, NickyLouie said:

Every so often you stumble across an older, genuinely skilled masseuse who actually knows what she’s doing — and of course, those are the ones who vanish after a few months because everyone with sense starts booking them nonstop.

Get her Line ID. Next.

Look for large, middle aged women with strong arms. 

 

I have a great therapist in BKK. PM me

its the massages belonging to the temple, if you need professionals.

either at the temple on south pattaya rd, or the parallel soi 17 iirc, the road behind friendship supermarket 

also, like someone said, if you get lucky to find a good one, get the phone nr right away and tip

I know what you mean. Most of them in Pattaya and other beach locations on the front streets have no training, and spend an hour slithering lotion up and down your lower legs and feet with no real massage. You can often tell right away if they were properly trained. If they are, the first thing they do is cross your feet, bend down then up. Then do the same with each individual foot. Then they begin a massage of the lower leg - usually the right one - and usually without lotion. once primed with a brief lotion-free massage of the lower leg, they will then reach for the lotion, do a relatively brief lotion job on that leg and foot. Cover it wih a towel and move onto the other one.

8 hours ago, NickyLouie said:

half of them barely know the basics,

I reckon you are too fuusy. 

 

A few years ago, I was working offshore Vung Tau.

My employer had us guys working on the rig undertake a 3 day safety course, at a local hotel. 

 

Anyway, day 3 we finished the safety course, before lunch, me and a colleague walked the streets of Vung Tau looking for excitement. We came across a massage parlour, pretty girls out front

 

I got on the bed naked, she rubbed my back for 2 minutes, rolled me over and latched on to my sausage. 

 

Happy days 😁

I'm not in Pattaya but even here in Kanchanaburi in 60 massages in the last 12 months and 3 of them were very good to great. I get their numbers so when they move I can follow.

11 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

My technique is look for the most beautiful girl sitting out of the front of the shop. 

I was walking around Pattaya Tai today, spotted this hot chick, I started talking with her, she's a masseuse. 

 

I'm Going for a massage tomorrow. 

 

I'll let you know if she's any good 😎

 

12 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Nope, I find the opposite.

The masseuse I'm looking for are always working at the massage shop I visit. 

 

My technique is look for the most beautiful girl sitting out of the front of the shop. She will give me my all in massage for very little money. 

 

I'm always leaving with a smile and leaving a BIG tip 

I disagree with you on many things, but I 100% agree here. I don't want an old wrinkly auntie massaging me. I don't want to feel like I've been through 9 rounds with Mike Tyson. I want a relaxing massage by a beautiful woman who massages my ego and maybe something else. 

5 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I reckon you are too fuusy. 

 

A few years ago, I was working offshore Vung Tau.

My employer had us guys working on the rig undertake a 3 day safety course, at a local hotel. 

 

Anyway, day 3 we finished the safety course, before lunch, me and a colleague walked the streets of Vung Tau looking for excitement. We came across a massage parlour, pretty girls out front

 

I got on the bed naked, she rubbed my back for 2 minutes, rolled me over and latched on to my sausage. 

 

Happy days 😁

So you paid for a 3 minute service?

 

 

11 minutes ago, alien365 said:

I disagree with you on many things, but I 100% agree here. I don't want an old wrinkly auntie massaging me. I don't want to feel like I've been through 9 rounds with Mike Tyson. I want a relaxing massage by a beautiful woman who massages my ego and maybe something else. 

Not everyone wants the same as you 

I want someone who can do a hard massage,walk on back ,I want to hear the cracks in my back and I demand that !

I don't care if they're young old ,fat thin

I expect my back and hips cracked 

33 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Not everyone wants the same as you 

I want someone who can do a hard massage,walk on back ,I want to hear the cracks in my back and I demand that !

I don't care if they're young old ,fat thin

I expect my back and hips cracked 

Of course. What people want in a massage can be different. If you're into pleasure pain, I'd expect the men to be better for you, based on the word of others I know wanting that. 

7 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

12 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I got on the bed naked, she rubbed my back for 2 minutes, rolled me over and latched on to my sausage. 

Happy days 😁

So you paid for a 3 minute service?

No, it was a 2 minute back massage and then we played hide the sausage for other 58 minutes  

6 hours ago, alien365 said:

What people want in a massage can be different. If you're into pleasure pain, I'd expect the men to be better for you, based on the word of others I know wanting that. 

Oh, Georgie boy may be interested in a man massage. 

 

1 hour ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

No, it was a 2 minute back massage and then we played hide the sausage for other 58 minutes  

I hope you didn't bleed too much. 

6 minutes ago, Mike_Hunt said:

I hope you didn't bleed too much. 

Crikey, you are playing hide the sausage wrong if there is bleeding involved. 

 

What sort of weird stuff do you do?

 

Never really had a good paid massage in Thailand and certainly not in a naughty setting. They might be renowned for it but doesn’t mean squat. Have typically found them either lazy, incompetent or just plain crap and overly aggressive because they think harder is better. Not Thai bashing because they are my folk, just what I’ve experienced. Cheap to high end CM spa with rocks etc, best I ever had here was a quick going over off a friend and a 100 baht beach rub in Ao Nang around year 2000. Few have the ‘hands’ for it. For a genuine massage, can’t beat one from another half who wants to do it and actually cares. It’s as much about energy transfer as the physical side. 

Run of the mill massage people in Thailand  can do more harm than good,  as experienced  with 2 visiting friends of mine, the so called Massage Academy issue Certificates  of competence like the Licence office  issue Driving Licences

Before moving to Asia, I had a girlfriend who was a massage therapist. The various types of massage that she gave me were worlds apart from the slap and tickle I experience in most Thai massage shops.
I don't care for 'Thai Massage.' I prefer a deep muscle massage with lotion or oil. I don't need the Happy Ending, especially if the beginning and middle have been structurally meaningless.

If I'm going to the shop for a massage, I want a good massage, not a good hand job.
Finding a 'good' deep tissue masseuse is a real challenge for me, especially in a country famous for a different style of massage.

I found every masseuse in Chiang Mai is highly skilled, no exceptions.

 

I actually don't like these older masseuses, and always try to get the youngest one, but often there is little sympathy for this request as the receptionists tend to be women.

 

When I find a a good young masseuse who gives a massage I like I then ask her name and make sure to book her specifically the next time. Easy.