Here is a subject I have been considering.

Suppose you regularly visit a girl whose company you pay for, just an hour here and there whenever you feel like it. And each time you see her you bring a small gift. Something inexpensive. Nothing excessive. Maybe a bit of food she likes, a nice beverage, or a small cosmetic item. These are minor things that cost very little and are hardly extravagant. More like a small extra tip in a way. But it is not the value of the item, it is the act of being thoughtful and bringing something at all.

A lot of people will say this is a mistake. That women in this situation do not value generosity. That if you give them anything at all they just see you as a sucker or a pushover. And maybe that is true.

But the only real risk is that she might start asking for more, assuming the well is deep. But that is easy to manage. You can say no or simply ignore the request. The risk stops there.

But that is not really the question.

Even if she does see you that way, no matter how big or how small the gift, does it actually matter?

If bringing her something she enjoys puts a genuine smile on her face for a moment, is that not already the point. And if you get joy out of seeing her smile, is that not a win for both of you. How she might label you in her head during that small human exchange is probably irrelevant.

We often judge these situations entirely from the outside. From pride. From ego. From fear of being played.

But on a purely philosophical level the question is simple. If the cost is low, the intention is kind, and the outcome is a brief moment of happiness for both parties, then does being seen as a sucker actually matter?

I guess its how each individual sees the situation. Would you buy a gift for a prostitute back home ?

Or did you ever do that ?

Yeah, that definitely makes you a sucker. But on the other hand, being a whore monger, might be worse.

34 minutes ago, blaze master said:

I guess its how each individual sees the situation. Would you buy a gift for a prostitute back home ?

Or did you ever do that ?

I was asking for a friend. 😊

I'm sorry, what is the question?

Do what you want to.

Who cares?

I don't see anything to second guess here.

You think to mutt!

We're living in a world where any gesture of kindness will be appreciated, there is simply not enough kindness to go around right now, so if you are talking about an inexpensive gift you are definitely not a sucker, you are a kind, and thoughtful soul, and if you're putting a smile on somebody's face who has a difficult job to perform, you're bringing goodness into this world, so just ignore the detractors and follow your heart.

Unlike what many will claim generosity is quality, not a fault.

When a plumber comes to your house do you give him/her a gift.

When you take your car to a mechanic do you give him a gift

When you visit the dentist...

When...

When..

et al.

Gifts are gift, business is business. Unles the value of the gift substitutes for the business.

What many people fail to see is that even in business, sometimes giving the person you are working with a small gift, meaning a kind and thoughtful gesture, can go the extra mile and encourage them to do the same for you. It is not required or necessary, but it personalizes the situation and may lead the other person to remember you for your kindness and possibly treat you a bit better than other customers, especially in a business setting where there is very deep personal contact, literally.

If you're seeing her multiple times, giving small gifts can build a bit of a rapport between the two of you, and that can pay dividends between the sheets.

Now I'm offended again.

6 hours ago, ColeBOzbourne said:

If you're seeing her multiple times, giving small gifts can build a bit of a rapport between the two of you, and that can pay dividends between the sheets.

Agree. Thank you. That was exactly my point.

7 hours ago, ColeBOzbourne said:

If you're seeing her multiple times, giving small gifts can build a bit of a rapport between the two of you, and that can pay dividends between the sheets.

My skillz as a smashing machine are what makes the difference between the sheets. 😅

On 2/4/2026 at 8:43 AM, Kyoto Kyle said:

Here is a subject I have been considering.

Suppose you regularly visit a girl whose company you pay for, just an hour here and there whenever you feel like it. And each time you see her you bring a small gift. Something inexpensive. Nothing excessive. Maybe a bit of food she likes, a nice beverage, or a small cosmetic item. These are minor things that cost very little and are hardly extravagant. More like a small extra tip in a way. But it is not the value of the item, it is the act of being thoughtful and bringing something at all.

A lot of people will say this is a mistake. That women in this situation do not value generosity. That if you give them anything at all they just see you as a sucker or a pushover. And maybe that is true.

But the only real risk is that she might start asking for more, assuming the well is deep. But that is easy to manage. You can say no or simply ignore the request. The risk stops there.

But that is not really the question.

Even if she does see you that way, no matter how big or how small the gift, does it actually matter?

If bringing her something she enjoys puts a genuine smile on her face for a moment, is that not already the point. And if you get joy out of seeing her smile, is that not a win for both of you. How she might label you in her head during that small human exchange is probably irrelevant.

We often judge these situations entirely from the outside. From pride. From ego. From fear of being played.

But on a purely philosophical level the question is simple. If the cost is low, the intention is kind, and the outcome is a brief moment of happiness for both parties, then does being seen as a sucker actually matter?

let me put this in a Thai way " you think too much!"

Who cares what other people think, if you're happy doing this that's all that matters!

I bring my ladies a turnip.

On 2/4/2026 at 11:43 PM, Kyoto Kyle said:

Suppose you regularly visit a girl whose company you pay for, just an hour here and there whenever you feel like it. And each time you see her you bring a small gift. Something inexpensive. Nothing excessive

This relationship is similar to marriage.

i don't bring a gift but they always want me to come back, get visibly upset if i pick someone else. A gift is ok up to you