10 hours ago, blaze master said:

Honest question.

Do you or did you support all of the children throughout their lives until adults . No ill intention just curious.

This issue was raised by another member in the past.

Yes, I do take care of all my children.

Raising children here in Thailand is inexpensive.

Early childhood, infants, you have nappies to purchase and formula if the mother is not breastfeeding, vaccinations etc it's all very economical.

Schooling becomes expensive, if you want international or English (bilingual) schooling

22 hours ago, wil iam not said:

At 55, mine is definitely NOT into new positions.

Dating 27yos is the solution.

On 3/10/2026 at 3:23 AM, FriscoKid said:

I have been thinking about this because I know a few guys whose situations all look a bit similar. When they first got married their wives were working and life seemed pretty good. Two incomes and a future that appeared reasonably comfortable. But over the years things changed a bit. The wives lost their jobs for one reason or another and never really went back to work. Became housewives, for lack of a better word. Now the household income has simply become a single income, and in all the cases I've seen the husband is not exactly rolling in money.

None of these guys are broke, but they are definitely not in the position they expected to be in either. Now they are the sole earners, taking on the entire financial load of two people with a future where retirement might come much later than they once expected. On top of that, the marriages themselves do not exactly look full of energy or connection anymore. They have been together for quite a long time. There are no kids involved, and from the outside it rather looks like the relationship has slowly shifted into something more like convenience and familiarity rather than a strong and caring partnership.

So it raises a serious question. If a guy ends up in a situation where he is doing all the earning, the marriage has lost much of its spark, and there are no children holding the situation together, what is the practical reason for the man to stay in that situation? I wonder if they would actually be better off their own, both financially and personally.

Everyone is different and people have their own reasons for the choices they make, but when you see the same pattern repeating itself a few times, you start to wonder why nobody ever seems willing to question whether the situation they are in still makes sense.

Women are like cars. Good for 10 years then need replacing or lots of maintenance.

27 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

This issue was raised by another member in the past.

Yes, I do take care of all my children.

Raising children here in Thailand is inexpensive.

Early childhood, infants, you have nappies to purchase and formula if the mother is not breastfeeding, vaccinations etc it's all very economical.

Schooling becomes expensive, if you want international or English (bilingual) schooling

Thanks was just curious i didnt see someone ask you before. I dont have any kids myself. Long story.

11 hours ago, blaze master said:

Honest question.

Do you or did you support all of the children throughout their lives until adults . No ill intention just curious.

Truth, as many fathers send money to the mothers (or grandma) and rarely see their children. On time is a lot more important than sending money.

Children need a father every week, as a mother cannot fill in for a father and teach them what a father can.

This happens here not only with fathers, who many times never see their children again, and mothers, who go to another city to work and only see their children a few times a year.

A grandparent isn't a substitute for a parent unless the parents are deceased. Many are too old or allow the children to run rampant, tending to the farm instead of doing what an actual parent does, monitoring their behavior. We see this every day with children on scooters at 8 years old and in my daughter's school, most of the children there don't have a father around. Children, especially daughters, need a father as much or more than the mother, as the girls need someone to look up to as a protector and to show them how to relate to men when they're adults themselves.

27 minutes ago, khaosokman said:

Women are like cars. Good for 10 years then need replacing or lots of maintenance.

I'm sure many women say the same things about men, especially those who don't take care of themselves.

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

I'm sure many women say the same things about men, especially those who don't take care of themselves.

Old women cant attract young men.

4 minutes ago, khaosokman said:

Old women cant attract young men.

They sure can if they've taken good care of themselves or have cash. Some men are also attracted to older women as they still need a mother figure in their lives, or a caretaker, being a little helpless.

On 3/10/2026 at 8:31 AM, KhunLA said:

Present wife works a lot more now, than when employed. Normal house cleaning chores of a stay at home wife of the 50s & 60s. Plus home repair & maintenance.

I've turned her into a jack of all trades, so she's self sufficient after I crap out. She could literally build a house with a crew. She won't let me do anything, not that I would, outside, as I'd just hire someone. To damn hot half the time. She won't hire anyone, as she can do a better job than most 'tradesman', and too thrifty to pay someone.

Then she takes care of the garden & Greenhouse, along with other 3 lots. More weed control on those 3. Hires help once or twice a month, or after we come back from and O&A, as playing catch up is too much, especially during rainy season.

I'm a LPOS, and not taking any chances with my back. I behave, it behaves. My duties involve taking the dog for a walk, couple times a day, and taking photos or vids. Oh yea, lot of shopping, cooking & occasionally doing the dishes.

1st wife didn't work, no prob.

2nd wife had excellent job, though hated I could sit on porch bbq & sip beer 5 days a week, and make as much money as her in 2 days.

3rd wife (Thai) didn't work. We played tourist, almost 24/7 as first 3 years for me in Thailand, as I tried to see every province.

1st live in worked at same airlines, and great plus, as we travelled all over, abusing flight bennies.

2nd live in didn't work, scamming the system, free everything; housing, food, healthcare.

I personally don't care if they work or not, and prefer them not to. Present wife, was mandatory not to work, if being with me, as no desire to be alone all day. Along with going O&A when ever I want, unplanned. I don't do schedules. Never have, hence the multiple job changes.

You realize you just describe a normal educated and functioning person as if it is unique lol. You get that right? lol.

9 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

Is the OP whinging specifically about Thailand ? I'm not sure he's aware that all he has written is relevant to just about everywhere,

I'd assume the region at least, because a wife would almost always work in the west lol.

For me, it was an issue that we talked about before we decided to marry. My spouse is civil servant - MoF - and holds an advanced degree. Therefore, for her, career is a big(er) deal - which I get.

She and i got lucky as I see it, that we are both from very solidly financed families - so “money”

wasn’t a huge huge issue for either of us. Her mom and dad are more than self-sufficient as are my mom and dad. The issue that was more front and center for us was children.

Her mom and dad are from larger families (ie 4 to 6 kids) and I’m an only-child born from 2 only-child parents. So there was some animated discussion about family size expectations. And the agreement is that she will stay home when children arrive.

I myself haven’t really worried about this issue “wife stops working” but I can sure see how it could be a problem later on. For me, my spouse and I discussed a LOT of things before we decided that we could “do this” (ie be married) her working post-marriage and post-kids, was just one of them. But I think having that discussion ahead of time made things far easier.

Question as put is not specific to Thailand. Same issues occur everywhere. In my case I met my Thai wife in Bangkok in1984 when she was running a business renting out minibuses. I eventually married her in 1990 in Taiwan where I had been posted. She sold her business in order to be with me in Taipei and has not worked ever since. Eventually we retired back to Thailand where we still live happily together. She is now 72, I am 84. She is, and always has been, a wonderful partner and friend.

On 3/10/2026 at 1:41 AM, BuffaloRider said:

It is simply a complete different story, big time, entirely, as soon you start having children in Thailand.

You get absolutely nothing while you suddenly need to pay for everything as well for 2-3 people total. I have done the calculations a few times and basically even at 3000 a month I would be better off in Europe, comparable, if looking at schooling being free, pension build up, cost of opportunity (mortgage), contributions for children, infinite jobs or a extra psychical job when wanted or needed on demand and so on and on.

This changes the entire 'you could live single of as little as 1K a month' to 'you need to at least 5-7K' or you basically are living a substandard life. I actually came here with just 1.5K a month and now do well over 5K, I lived better single alone 15 years ago on the 1.5K. I basically would have the same life in Europe for just 3K a month, purely due to all being arranged there by the system properly.

Suddenly to pay taxes is peanuts: People always leave out the value of all things you receive; state pension, free school, money if sick etc etc. Just to do this part yourself instead on the same level, which is base level, takes 1500-2000 a month. Tax on 3.5K would be 400 lol in EU.

Then in terms of having a family and the Thai girlfriend or wife working, that rarely makes any sense at all. Just to hire a baby sitter or maid would cost half or the full wage the Thai can earn. Even at a 40-50K inter school it still scores merely a 7.5/10 in quality.

Then we never even spoke for a minute about getting sick for a few years or losing income for a few years, over a 20-30 year timespan. Or the fact one is treated like a criminal by immigration regardless of doing all the above.

I call it the invisible credit card without interest people use. Many are in debt to themselves big time and should have left long ago.

Then we not even spoke inflation yet, it is easy to forget that in the west even as a cleaner, 3 days a week, as a couple, would bring in 100-120K a month, in Europe or USA. I am confident that except for those retired already, most people, would be better off even doing X visits a year to Thailand. In fact, it's those type of people who always appear happiest and have decade long marriages with Thais.

Sure one might be rich already, but that would be a 0.1% exception. The system is designed for you to work fulltime and just have a little bit more than the fixed costs are, this keeps everyone in line.

Then again realize I have this perception while earning far above 5K, if I am worried, anyone earning less def. should. Could you live on peanuts in the sticks and send the kid to a monk school too? Yes you could but in the west that would be called neglecting care and duty.

On 3/10/2026 at 1:41 AM, BuffaloRider said:

It is simply a complete different story, big time, entirely, as soon you start having children in Thailand.

You get absolutely nothing while you suddenly need to pay for everything as well for 2-3 people total. I have done the calculations a few times and basically even at 3000 a month I would be better off in Europe, comparable, if looking at schooling being free, pension build up, cost of opportunity (mortgage), contributions for children, infinite jobs or a extra psychical job when wanted or needed on demand and so on and on.

This changes the entire 'you could live single of as little as 1K a month' to 'you need to at least 5-7K' or you basically are living a substandard life. I actually came here with just 1.5K a month and now do well over 5K, I lived better single alone 15 years ago on the 1.5K. I basically would have the same life in Europe for just 3K a month, purely due to all being arranged there by the system properly.

Suddenly to pay taxes is peanuts: People always leave out the value of all things you receive; state pension, free school, money if sick etc etc. Just to do this part yourself instead on the same level, which is base level, takes 1500-2000 a month. Tax on 3.5K would be 400 lol in EU.

Then in terms of having a family and the Thai girlfriend or wife working, that rarely makes any sense at all. Just to hire a baby sitter or maid would cost half or the full wage the Thai can earn. Even at a 40-50K inter school it still scores merely a 7.5/10 in quality.

Then we never even spoke for a minute about getting sick for a few years or losing income for a few years, over a 20-30 year timespan. Or the fact one is treated like a criminal by immigration regardless of doing all the above.

I call it the invisible credit card without interest people use. Many are in debt to themselves big time and should have left long ago.

Then we not even spoke inflation yet, it is easy to forget that in the west even as a cleaner, 3 days a week, as a couple, would bring in 100-120K a month, in Europe or USA. I am confident that except for those retired already, most people, would be better off even doing X visits a year to Thailand. In fact, it's those type of people who always appear happiest and have decade long marriages with Thais.

Sure one might be rich already, but that would be a 0.1% exception. The system is designed for you to work fulltime and just have a little bit more than the fixed costs are, this keeps everyone in line.

Then again realize I have this perception while earning far above 5K, if I am worried, anyone earning less def. should. Could you live on peanuts in the sticks and send the kid to a monk school too? Yes you could but in the west that would be called neglecting care and duty.

On 3/10/2026 at 1:41 AM, BuffaloRider said:

It is simply a complete different story, big time, entirely, as soon you start having children in Thailand.

You get absolutely nothing while you suddenly need to pay for everything as well for 2-3 people total. I have done the calculations a few times and basically even at 3000 a month I would be better off in Europe, comparable, if looking at schooling being free, pension build up, cost of opportunity (mortgage), contributions for children, infinite jobs or a extra psychical job when wanted or needed on demand and so on and on.

This changes the entire 'you could live single of as little as 1K a month' to 'you need to at least 5-7K' or you basically are living a substandard life. I actually came here with just 1.5K a month and now do well over 5K, I lived better single alone 15 years ago on the 1.5K. I basically would have the same life in Europe for just 3K a month, purely due to all being arranged there by the system properly.

Suddenly to pay taxes is peanuts: People always leave out the value of all things you receive; state pension, free school, money if sick etc etc. Just to do this part yourself instead on the same level, which is base level, takes 1500-2000 a month. Tax on 3.5K would be 400 lol in EU.

Then in terms of having a family and the Thai girlfriend or wife working, that rarely makes any sense at all. Just to hire a baby sitter or maid would cost half or the full wage the Thai can earn. Even at a 40-50K inter school it still scores merely a 7.5/10 in quality.

Then we never even spoke for a minute about getting sick for a few years or losing income for a few years, over a 20-30 year timespan. Or the fact one is treated like a criminal by immigration regardless of doing all the above.

I call it the invisible credit card without interest people use. Many are in debt to themselves big time and should have left long ago.

Then we not even spoke inflation yet, it is easy to forget that in the west even as a cleaner, 3 days a week, as a couple, would bring in 100-120K a month, in Europe or USA. I am confident that except for those retired already, most people, would be better off even doing X visits a year to Thailand. In fact, it's those type of people who always appear happiest and have decade long marriages with Thais.

Sure one might be rich already, but that would be a 0.1% exception. The system is designed for you to work fulltime and just have a little bit more than the fixed costs are, this keeps everyone in line.

Then again realize I have this perception while earning far above 5K, if I am worried, anyone earning less def. should. Could you live on peanuts in the sticks and send the kid to a monk school too? Yes you could but in the west that would be called neglecting care and duty.

We had and have the opportunity to settle in Laos as my Lao wife has a house there, however I live and work in the UK as a painter. We met through friends in Lao. Travelling back and forth was possible, in the end it was better and financially more viable including cost savings from uk government to continue working here but my wife and her kids joining me. Fast forward 2 years and my wife and I work jointly in a partnership both earning identical market value salaries as painters. We each keep our own money and split the bills. Our future retirement will be in Laos and Thailand through our private pension contributions. We hope to have £150k-£200k each. We both work together as a team quite often in separate rooms giving each other independence. I’ve taught her to be self sufficient, a professional painter and a trader in stocks and shares. The future looks very bright and promising together in our blended family.

1 hour ago, BuffaloRider said:

You realize you just describe a normal educated and functioning person as if it is unique lol. You get that right? lol.

I tend to only associate with 'normal educated & functioning' people. Sadly, I'm aware of way too many that are not. I know people won't, let alone even could, connect two pieces of PVC pipe. Or folks that would call a plumber to unclog a drain, or hang a curtain.

With YT, the wife won't let anyone do anything, with the exception of AC deep cleaning.

Only 2 gals, the live ins, were a bit helpless, great sex though.

No...I never wanted my wife to work. We lived five years in the UK from 2002. I ceased work completely in 2004 and we travelled, played golf, did the Gym, pottered around the house and garden. etc etc Now been here full time since 2007....never been back... now we are 80 and 71. Do same but less of........... So pleased that we could spend as much time together as we wanted. She goes to meet her old friends, also has a daughter and two grandchildren ...I go with her more often than not. Life is good, hope health allows it to stay that way for some while yet............

6 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

I tend to only associate with 'normal educated & functioning' people. Sadly, I'm aware of way too many that are not. I know people won't, let alone even could, connect two pieces of PVC pipe. Or folks that would call a plumber to unclog a drain, or hang a curtain.

With YT, the wife won't let anyone do anything, with the exception of AC deep cleaning.

Only 2 gals, the live ins, were a bit helpless, great sex though.

I would never call a plumber to hang a curtain. That I'd reserve for the local electrician.

12 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I would never call a plumber to hang a curtain. That I'd reserve for the local electrician.

He'd probably have to borrow your ladder ...

Just now, KhunLA said:

He'd probably have to borrow your ladder ...

Why not, everyone else around here does, along with my electric drill, machete (now missing), pickaxe, shovels (one still not returned), spades, saw, rake, (girlfriend appropriated it for her gardening), and other assorted tools.

I think you answered your question with "convenience and familiarity". Many men would be better off financially but possibly don't have the will power to go through with a seperation.

My wife doesn't work. She had her own business, but is now retired. I can support us both in Thailand.

On 3/10/2026 at 4:15 AM, Nemises said:

Do you risk everything for a fresh start, possibly with someone who’s just after your Bitcoin wallet and your left shoe? Or do you stay with the one who knows all your quirks, bad habits, and that time you ate an entire pizza in one sitting… and still somehow looks at you like you’re not that bad? Decisions, decisions. 😂

Slightly off topic, but I am very happy to eat a whole pizza in one sitting... and I'm not overweight, I just can't stop if I have a good pizza in front of me. 🙂

My wife gets an allowance and squirrels most of it away, hates spending on anything 'pang' cooks, washes, naggs me a lot if I drink too much, took care of our son until he went to Uni, no complaints here!

14 minutes ago, IsaanT said:

Slightly off topic, but I am very happy to eat a whole pizza in one sitting... and I'm not overweight, I just can't stop if I have a good pizza in front of me. 🙂

Takes a lot of will power to stop at 2 slices of any New York style pizza, especially in New York or New Jersey. When I visited Texas last November, I had it twice from places who's owners were formerly from the NYC area and I did go to 3 slices as it was Italian sliced sausage and mushrooms, which are hard to resist.

On 3/10/2026 at 1:18 AM, wil iam not said:

At 55, mine is definitely NOT into new positions.

On 3/10/2026 at 1:18 AM, wil iam not said:

At 55, mine is definitely NOT into new positions.

On 3/10/2026 at 1:18 AM, wil iam not said:

At 55, mine is definitely NOT into new positions.

I am sure she is very glad that yo s hared that with this forum!

On 3/10/2026 at 4:15 AM, Nemises said:

Do you risk everything for a fresh start, possibly with someone who’s just after your Bitcoin wallet and your left shoe? Or do you stay with the one who knows all your quirks, bad habits, and that time you ate an entire pizza in one sitting… and still somehow looks at you like you’re not that bad? Decisions, decisions. 😂

Second option for me.

4 hours ago, khaosokman said:

Old women cant attract young men.

They can when they are very rich!

I can't imagine a guy coming here, getting involved with a Thai woman, and having one of his priorities being that the woman will help to provide financial stability for the family.

There's certainly nothing wrong with a wife who works, and brings in some money, but in my particular case I prefer my wife not to work so she has a lot of free time, a high quality of life, she doesn't have to deal with an idiotic boss, she doesn't have to work ridiculous hours for low pay, we get to travel whenever we want, and don't have to deal with any of the nonsense.

My wife is very smart, she is bringing in some money through brokering land deals, and through some of the land that we are purchasing and selling.

I suppose if my wife had a university degree and a skill that was able to earn her significant money it would be a different story.

For me personally, it would be a bad thing. I couldn't stand having someone around all day long, I need some quiet time for myself.

I brougth my exwife and our 2 kids to my country 19 years ago. Never regret that. She still have a good paid job..my daugther good well paying jobb.. my son study National safety at universety here.

That said if the finance start to being a problem the marrige is a daily figth with ur wife.Its a stressful and bad relationship that often ends with a divorce.

59 minutes ago, Frank Brown said:

My wife gets an allowance and squirrels most of it away, hates spending on anything 'pang' cooks, washes, naggs me a lot if I drink too much, took care of our son until he went to Uni, no complaints here!

I generally don't like a woman who nags too much, but nagging you for drinking too much is a good thing, and you should be grateful for it.