8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Why do you always take it personal

Do you think that you might be exaggerating here? Do you have examples of me always taking it personally?

I brought up the subject of your earlier post, suggesting that I was taking advantage of these women. That's personal, isn't it? So I've given you an opportunity to share your thoughts on why you did that.

11 minutes ago, Hummin said:

And you do it as often you can to.

Do I? How do you know that? That speaks to your own state of mind. I could do so every day, but I don't.

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You are the one who never changes.

Hmmmm... 😊 Ranting mode again.

13 minutes ago, Hummin said:

And even you comfort us with you have a great life, your story here tells something else.

Again, you are leaking information as to what you really think. Is it me who hasn't really changed, but is simply masking?

What is my "story here that tells us something else", pray tell me? I predict that you will be unable to do so, lest you reveal too much about yourself.

44 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

You found him offensive because you spend too much time listening to blockheads.

Comedians are the only people who can be brutally honest.

Because everyone else would be considered too offensive or politically incorrect, but their comments are thinly veiled as humor, even though most of what they say has some truth to it.

I asked AI what they think about Jim, and interestingly they got the part right about he changing by time as well. He matured, he learned, and was brave enough to make those changes.

I think Jim Carrey is exceptionally talented.

He has a rare kind of comedic energy—very physical, fearless, and completely committed—and that made him stand out in a way very few comedians ever have. At the same time, he is more than just funny. In a lot of his roles, especially the more serious ones, he shows depth, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence.

What also makes him interesting is that many people’s view of him changes over time. Early on, some saw him as too much, too loud, or too over the top. Later, they started to notice the intelligence behind it, the humanity, and the deeper reflections he shares about life, pain, success, and meaning.

He is not everyone’s style, and that is fair. But as an artist and as a personality, he has substance.

Your take on him makes sense to me: sometimes you need time to see past the surface before you recognize the value underneath.

8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I have one question: you always describe the other person as the one who goes off the rails, angry, crazy, or any number of other labels, and you keep bringing up the same issues over and over again.

But doesn’t that also involve your own reactions and behavior? Or are you only here to teach the rest of us lessons?

That’s something to think about.

I'm happy to tackle your question...

Again, you use the words always. That is not true, is it? The reality is that I have used the term where I think it is appropriate. Wherein it seems the writer has lost control of themselves, in the written word and in their behaviour. Of course I am not allowed to discuss certain aspects of such behaviour here, so we will have to leave that to the imagination.

Have you considered that the same issues are being brought up, because the same behaviour has reared itself again? That's logical, isn't it? It's how you deal with it that matters.

As to my own reactions and behaviour, I would hope that they stay within acceptable boundaries. No crass abuse, no deliberate lies and attempts to mislead etc. Just honest conversation.

We teach each other. Just some prefer it to appear as in not needing to learn anything from others. I learn a lot from others and don't feel the need to become defensive and abusive.

2 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Do you think that you might be exaggerating here? Do you have examples of me always taking it personally?

I brought up the subject of your earlier post, suggesting that I was taking advantage of these women. That's personal, isn't it? So I've given you an opportunity to share your thoughts on why you did that.

Do I? How do you know that? That speaks to your own state of mind. I could do so every day, but I don't.

Hmmmm... 😊 Ranting mode again.

Again, you are leaking information as to what you really think. Is it me who hasn't really changed, but is simply masking?

What is my "story here that tells us something else", pray tell me? I predict that you will be unable to do so, lest you reveal too much about yourself.

It is difficult to provide proof when posts are deleted or hidden by moderators, but that is the part you keep ignoring.

What surprises me most is how often you lash out at people here—not only at me, but at member after member, as you repeatedly end up in conflict with others. In those moments, you seem to have no limits. Then, almost immediately afterward, you act as though none of it happened.

That seems to be exactly what you are doing now. You remember everyone else’s mistakes, anger, and bad behavior, but your own seem to disappear without a trace. Why? Because you present yourself as the perfect debater on this forum, someone who never gets anything wrong. But the truth is, it starts with you—not with everyone else.

I also believe you are younger than most here, and it is common at that age to think you understand everything and see everything clearly. Life usually teaches us that things are rarely that simple.

These reactions, questions, and behaviors can also say a great deal about a person’s character in real life, including how they deal with others and how they function in relationships.

If you treat me with respect, I will treat you with respect. And when misunderstandings happen, as they sometimes do, there is nothing wrong with asking for clarification instead of making assumptions. It goes both ways, and since you want to learn, you should also learn why you get in trouble now and then, not projecting on everyone else why your posts being deleted. If you posts being deleted, or you are forced to change nick name, you should understand why, and not blame others.

Projecting onto others—claiming to know what they think, feel, or why they act the way they do, simply because of your own experiences—does not make you insightful. It only shows how convinced you are of something you cannot truly know.

7 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I asked AI what they think about Jim, and interestingly they got the part right about he changing by time as well. He matured, he learned, and was brave enough to make those changes.

I think Jim Carrey is exceptionally talented.

He has a rare kind of comedic energy—very physical, fearless, and completely committed—and that made him stand out in a way very few comedians ever have. At the same time, he is more than just funny. In a lot of his roles, especially the more serious ones, he shows depth, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence.

What also makes him interesting is that many people’s view of him changes over time. Early on, some saw him as too much, too loud, or too over the top. Later, they started to notice the intelligence behind it, the humanity, and the deeper reflections he shares about life, pain, success, and meaning.

He is not everyone’s style, and that is fair. But as an artist and as a personality, he has substance.

Your take on him makes sense to me: sometimes you need time to see past the surface before you recognize the value underneath.

Erm... Jim Carrey is not Jimmy Carr. 😊

9 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

I learn a lot from others and don't feel the need to become defensive and abusive.

You dont feel the need, but it happens, and as you often like to say, be honest about it.

Just now, Hummin said:

It is difficult to provide proof when posts are deleted or hidden by moderators

Thank you for mentioning this 😊

The part wherein you couldn't control the conversation, so resorted to other means.

You should be able to discuss man to man without needing to call a 'friend'. That was weak. My opinion of course. Repeated behaviour on your part. Coupled with an obsession to have me removed. You were raging, in the written word and in your behaviour.

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You dont feel the need, but it happens, and as you often like to say, be honest about it.

No, it does not. You have no proof of that, whereas I can describe exactly what you did. Undeniable and over an extended period of time.

Whereas I can discuss any subject, without the need to rage and try to get you removed.

7 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Erm... Jim Carrey is not Jimmy Carr. 😊

Ups, talking about mistakes :D I can blame it on my dysfunctional brain

Jimmy Carr is a very sharp, intelligent, and quick-witted comedian, especially when it comes to dark humor, one-liners, and crowd work. His style is not for everyone, because it can feel harsh or cynical, but he is clearly highly skilled. Over time, he also seems to have matured, becoming more self-aware and more polished in the way he presents himself. He still has an edgy style, but it now feels more controlled and deliberate. At the same time, he also seems like a good human being—someone who has learned a lot through life and can share experiences and advice that actually have value.

2 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

No, it does not. You have no proof of that, whereas I can describe exactly what you did. Undeniable and over an extended period of time.

Whereas I can discuss any subject, without the need to rage and try to get you removed.

Healing comes with honesty and willing to change ;-)

And honestly you know the few I asked to have removed, so do not try to make me responsible for your trouble on this forum.

It is kind of funny, you can not admit simple facts.

7 minutes ago, Hummin said:

What surprises me most is how often you lash out at people here

Please show me an example of me 'lashing out'. That is just a feeling that you have created within yourself. Show me in the written words or an action.

8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

but at member after member, as you repeatedly end up in conflict with others.

There is no conflict with others. It's you....and within @fredwiggy I don't have any conflicts at all. I'm just putting my thoughts to ''paper''.

Tell me someone else with whom I have a conflict.

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Then, almost immediately afterward, you act as though none of it happened

Yes, that's normal 😊 But you are still raging afterwards, aren't you? Still holding grudges and are shocked that the other person has moved on immediately. A lesson for you? Control yourself.

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Because you present yourself as the perfect debater on this forum

No...that is how you see me. I'm just being myself and that is your reaction to me.

13 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I also believe you are younger than most here, and it is common at that age to think you understand everything and see everything clearly. Life usually teaches us that things are rarely that simple.

Again, based on nothing, but your ego.

14 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If you treat me with respect, I will treat you with respect.

I do. But your ego prevents you from seeing that.

14 minutes ago, Hummin said:

you should also learn why you get in trouble now and then

I don't get into trouble. That again is just your wont. You want that to happen and wish that to happen, but it has no effect on me at all. That frustrated you mightily. Shown in your words and actions. You couldn't control the situation, so you got mad.

17 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If you posts being deleted, or you are forced to change nick name, you should understand why, and not blame others.

I understand why. Because of weak men.

18 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Projecting onto others—claiming to know what they think, feel, or why they act the way they do, simply because of your own experiences—does not make you insightful. It only shows how convinced you are of something you cannot truly know.

I see the evidence in their written word and their actions. I don't need to prove that I'm right. They prove it for me.

11 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It is kind of funny, you can not admit simple facts.

That's projection. I see no facts in your post. It's you who has convinced yourself that they are facts.

5 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

That's projection. I see no facts in your post. It's you who has convinced yourself that they are facts.

I have already spent to much time with you, and now we are done for today.

I have served you facts, but you do not take them, or reckoning them, or willing to admit thats the real thing behind my statements.

Thank you for today

On 3/21/2026 at 3:55 AM, Lacessit said:

IMO all relationships are transactional, either here or in the West. However, there are key differences in attitudes.

In the West, it's a culture of equality and entitlement, brought about by family law division of assets equally when a relationship breaks down.

In Thailand, men are empowered by economic inequality. Defacto relationships are not recognized in Thai law.

In the West, sex is a negotiation. In Thailand, it's part of "taking care".

The divorce rate in Western women skyrockets after age 70, and it is mostly initiated by them. Too late, they realise the price of their freedom is loneliness, because men who have done the Asian pivot have much better options.

I agree with this post- over here, as in the West, relationships are often transactional- but if feelings develop over time then happy days

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I have already spent to much time with you, and now we are done for today.

I have served you facts, but you do not take them, or reckoning them, or willing to admit thats the real thing behind my statements.

Thank you for today

You are done for today. You didn't serve any facts. You served your perspective. Stop fooling yourself.

On 3/21/2026 at 3:43 AM, The Cobra said:

Have you found your views on relationships changed since living in Thailand?

Not really. From the beginning I was prepared for that the man – or the masculine part, if it's a more rainbow colored relationship – is the provider; just like it once also was in many, if not all, of our Western home countries.

So, I looked at realtionship with a Thai as kind of mutual win-win "business arangement": I provide, and in return she – for me it's a she – takes care of me in return. With an age difference – I prefers younger women – it might be more like: I take care of you now, and you takes care of me, when I get old.

Only "aber dabei" for me seems to be that my lovely girlfriend, who has managed to stay together with this grumpy old man for 22 years – begins to say that she might get old before me...

On 3/22/2026 at 11:07 AM, KhunLA said:

I made and learned from most of my mistakes in the USA. OK, except for wife #3 (Thai in TH), miss judged that one, along with the prior 4 long term relationships in USA ... oops. #3 began & ended the quickest of all relationships.

Kept me single for about 5 yrs after divorce, or having someone move in. Must have finally learned.

Only after 8 yrs of living together, did we (present wife) even get married. Just for the hell of it, for when one of us dies. Added security for me, as she already owns everything.

Wow, who would have thought, more time together before marriage, means longer marriage 🙄 8 yrs / 12 & counting (20+). Previous marriages, dating / married ...

... 2 yrs / < 2 yrs

... 2 yrs / 1 yrs

... 11 weeks / < 1 yr

Just live together, no marriage, great sex, only reason together

... 3 ish yrs

... 3 ish yrs

34 ish yrs of relationships, leaves 20+ yrs of being single. Not a bad split of time in & out of relationships. Lucked out, as no real regrets.

So, anyone need relationship advice, I'm batting 167

We were living together after a week, and married after the second week.

Been together 16+ years now.

It's all the luck of the draw

double post

2 hours ago, IsmeUno said:

Thank you for mentioning this 😊

The part wherein you couldn't control the conversation, so resorted to other means.

You should be able to discuss man to man without needing to call a 'friend'. That was weak. My opinion of course. Repeated behaviour on your part. Coupled with an obsession to have me removed. You were raging, in the written word and in your behaviour.

More like deleted for breaking forum posting rules (many dictated by Google Ads).

In many cases no need for any reports, mods read the forums as a matter of course.

And especially read posts from known forum trolls and previously banned members returning under new names.

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

We were living together after a week, and married after the second week.

Been together 16+ years now.

It's all the luck of the draw

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I still have a photo of your wife you sent out to several people. I'm not posting it, I have lines I won't cross.

If she is only 50% as hot as she looked then, it's no wonder you have stuck together for so long.

IIRC you said she was as crazy as a bedbug, presumably either she or you adjusted.

24 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

We were living together after a week, and married after the second week.

Been together 16+ years now. It's all the luck of the draw

Luck indeed. Short, 3 month courtship with present, Dec 31st to March 28th, then moved in, 20 yr & counting.

Actually lucky in USA, as none were even close to bad, just 'till death do you part' seems way too long. Enough slight differences, as I knew sooner of later they'd end, so sooner seemed better.

I'm not an easy person to live with, and you have to be 'flexible', to deal with my 'don't care, doing this now' attitude. Having a kid slowed me down a wee bit. That and the damn temps. 35+C saps my energy.

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

More like deleted for breaking forum posting rules (many dictated by Google Ads).

In many cases no need for any reports, mods read the forums as a matter of course.

And especially read posts from known forum trolls and previously banned members returning under new names.

Naah... I know who did what and when and I also know of the stalkers you mentioned who were removed from their post. But thanks for the effort.

You should keep in mind that I've been around here longer than most 😉

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

I still have a photo of your wife you sent out to several people. I'm not posting it, I have lines I won't cross.

If she is only 50% as hot as she looked then, it's no wonder you have stuck together for so long.

IIRC you said she was as crazy as a bedbug, presumably either she or you adjusted.

Not sure why you received a 'thumbs down' for your post. Seems innocent enough. Definitely a few here fit your description of being 'as crazy as a bedbug' 😊

Firstly married to a Brit for 23 nightmare years, secondly married to a Thai for 36 years to date and still happily together. I don't see relationships differently now. Just be sure to marry/partner the right girl in the first place.

21 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Naah... I know who did what and when and I also know of the stalkers you mentioned who were removed from their post. But thanks for the effort.

You should keep in mind that I've been around here longer than most 😉

"Jekyll and Hyde syndrome"

Could be The Potion you digging to much!

7 minutes ago, Hummin said:

"Jekyll and Hyde syndrome"

Could be The Potion you digging to much!

Back with your mad posts again? It's just your imagination. Again, ego, as you are not capable of a discussion without your emotions taking over and then holding a grudge. You should learn to practice what you preach. You wrote about your exes and not speaking bad about them once things were over. Seems that was just words..

I thought that you said that you had enough for today. So again not even a man of your word.

As for me, I'm preparing a snack of Organic Rye bread and smoked salmon with a creamed horseradish garnish and spicy pickled cucumber.

Do you find it strange that I can write completely normally to you about a subject whilst disagreeing with you on another? Is that Jekyll and Hyde syndrome to you or are you merely limited? Your dysfunctional brain, as you put it?

Accept there are different perspectives or struggle on in your confusion. Up to you.

39 minutes ago, Thingamabob said:

Firstly married to a Brit for 23 nightmare years

Just out of curiosity. If 23 nightmare years, why wait so long before doing anything about it? Sounds like self-punishment.

1 hour ago, IsmeUno said:

You should keep in mind that I've been around here longer than most 😉

Looking at your profile, it looks like from the 28 of January, so just maybe the name change was right in the post you quoted. 😉

1 minute ago, Gottfrid said:

Looking at your profile, it looks like from the 28 of January, so just maybe the name change was right in the post you quoted. 😉

There's no need for the wink. I've not ever made an attempt to hide it. It's not an issue for me, only for those who hoped for the demise of my username 😊

There is little doubt as to why this is the wish of certain characters. Anyone with even a modicum of intelligence could work it out.

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I still have a photo of your wife you sent out to several people. I'm not posting it, I have lines I won't cross.

If she is only 50% as hot as she looked then, it's no wonder you have stuck together for so long.

IIRC you said she was as crazy as a bedbug, presumably either she or you adjusted.

All my LTRs have been completely bonkers, I love the mad ones, and they appear to like me.

I'm very easy going, I'll just take the knife away when they come at me.

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

All my LTRs have been completely bonkers, I love the mad ones, and they appear to like me.

I'm very easy going, I'll just take the knife away when they come at me.

Ex bargirls who are forced to settle down because a lack of customers often take a while to adjust to a normal quiet life