Do You Have Freedom?

[Neeranam]

Whilst in the main bank in town today, I had to wait 2 hours. I watched 8 "whities" walk in to do their banking. Every single one, however, needed their Thai partners to do the talking. I could understand if they were newcomers but some weren't.

I'd go crazy if I had to take my wife everywhere - to the bank/garage/barbers/immigration/restaurant etc.

My wife couldn't speak any English when we got married so there never was any need.

How about you?

Edited March 12, 2009 by Neeranam

[khundon]

Whilst in the main bank in town today, I had to wait 2 hours. I watched 8 "whities" walk in to do their banking. Every single one, however, needed their Thai partners to do the talking. I could understand if they were newcomers but some weren't.

I'd go crazy if I had to take my wife everywhere - to the bank/garage/barbers/immigration/restaurant etc.

My wife couldn't speak any English when we got married so there never was any need.

How about you?

I used to bank most days and I only speak nidnoy Thai, never had a problem on my own.

I used all sort of shops and services and always made myself understood.

My trick when I found a barber who gave me a great haircut was to tip 100Baht, you can bet he remembered me and how I like my hair cut the next time I visited.

I never had to wait for 2 hours in my bank as one English speaking Thai always pulled me out of the que and dealt with me and I was out in a couple of minutes. A bottle of whisky once a year helps.

Maybe they were BG wifes and they wanted to make sure honey did not move his money to another account that they could not get at.

[TEFLMike]

When teaching in Chonburi City, I used to go to the bank on a regular basis. On each occasion, as I walked through the door, someone, who spoke English, was soon at my side.

Within minutes, a glass of hot tea, glass of cold water and biscuits, were placed on the desk, thus allowing me to carry out my business. I never once experienced any language or understanding difficulties.

[henryalleman]

my wife ALLOW me to have ALL the freedom I like to have. She's therefore a very intelligent woman who knows that a dog on a short chain is a very unhappy dog and sooner or later will bite his owner. While a dog who is allowed his freedom is a happy dog and will never run away long-time because he knows, he have the best home possible and will protect and take care his master very good

Edited March 12, 2009 by henryalleman

[ajahnlau]

Sounds like the guys that have their gf do all the driving in the new VIGO. These guys are late 50's early 60's been driving in their country for 40 yrs. and let the gf drive with no experience other than a small mc. Need a 2nd mother. Not to slag the Brits but most are.

[scottyd]

I'm free. Even in foreign countries I don't need a babysitter, I overcome the language barrier like us Brits know best, we just point and shout really loud, everybody understands that.

[Chaimai]

my wife ALLOW me to have ALL the freedom I like to have. She's therefore a very intelligent woman who knows that a dog on a short chain is a very unhappy dog and sooner or later will bite his owner. While a dog who is allowed his freedom is a happy dog and will never run away long-time because he knows, he have the best home possible and will protect and take care his master very good

It is often the BITCHES that cause the problems

[geriatrickid]

My mom takes care of the big ticket stuff.

I do the simple stuff on the internet, but I leave the investment management to her.

The wonderful thing about a bit of luchre is that it can conquer language barriers and I have never had an issue getting what I need even if I am babbling. Thai business people have a knack for figuring out what I need, plus I can do pretty well at charades.

[TexasRanger]

Whilst in the main bank in town today, I had to wait 2 hours. I watched 8 "whities" walk in to do their banking. Every single one, however, needed their Thai partners to do the talking. I could understand if they were newcomers but some weren't.

I'd go crazy if I had to take my wife everywhere - to the bank/garage/barbers/immigration/restaurant etc.

My wife couldn't speak any English when we got married so there never was any need.

How about you?

If they are too lazy to learn Thai then they have to put up with being manacled to the mrs. Not my cup of tea, adult males should be they type of man a woman can rely on, not someone who has to rely on his wife for basic bank transactions.

I put it down to laziness.

[GuestHouse]

It's the guys who can't even cross the road without the help of a Thai 'helper' that get me wondering. But it goes further than that, as the OP points out guys wet nursed around their daily life, spoon fed at the table and all the while swallowing the 'kindness with hooks attached'.

[PeaceBlondie]

I hereby join the chorus of henryalterman, guesthouse, and Al. I have the freedom to jump on my bike and go where I want. I used to go to the bank for all the transactions, shop, pay the bills at 7-11, etc. But the partner now makes the ATM withdrawals, pays utility bills, registers the vehicles, buys the groceries, cooks non-spicy food for me, sweeps the house, takes care of laundry, etc. I decide who I vote for, where to go to church, how to solve the financial condom - I mean conundrum, Nepalese politics, the price of coffee in Mexico - the really important stuff. We often go to parties together, but not always. We are partners, not conjoined twins.

[robblok]

I have all the freedom in the world maybe too much at times. My wife is a tourguide so she is away from home a lot. I'm quite happy like that because i need my private time. When she has free time we choose what we do either do something together or she goes to her friends or i go fishing. No need to do everything together.

If there are hard things to do i drag her with me, the basic things i do myself but when it gets complicated I take her. Shopping and ordering things.. no need for her. Making good appointments about specific things and beeing sure they are 100% understood and will be followed out that is when she comes in. Its hard to explain construction or other housing problems and telling them what you expect of them (no quick fix).

[Mobi]

My wife also spoke very little English when I met her, and it was mainly through her, (and other non- English speaking ladies before her ), that I was more or less forced to learn to speak Thai, in order to communicate. (Immersion I believe they call it).

After we had been married for about 4 years, and several years of her attending English school, she started to talk pretty good English.

So we are now sort of bi lingual, and can converse and get by in either language. I have the freedom to do almost anything without her help, and she can converse with my friends and visiting family in English without me having to interpret, and talk to her farang clients in her salon without the need for an interpreter.

A win win situation for us both.

[PattayaParent]

If the question is

"Do you have to take your wife everywhere to speak Thai to people on your behalf?" Then the answer is NO, I speak Thai better than my wife.

If the question is

"Do you have no freedom because your wife goes everywhere with you" then the answer NO, I enjoy having my wife go everywhere with me.

So I answered YES to your poll

[PhilHarries]

Not to slag the Brits but.......................

you're going to anyway.

I do assume you have the statistics to back up your claim and look forward to studying them when you post them here.

In all the years I lived in Thailand, or anywhere else for that matter, I always go to the bank solo. In fact in the UK the bank once was very edgy about paying me out 10k (GBP) cash but I told the teller "It's okay, I have my business partners, messrs Smith and Wesson, waiting outside for me" . Unfortunately she didn't get it but handed over the folding anyway.

[Heng]

Sounds kinda like the Issan nanny thread. Plenty of assumptions being made about guys going to the bank with their SO.

[tuky]

My wife not only went everywhere I went but she insisted on having the rest of the family come along too.

I can understand her to a degree as she has a speech impediment and is very shy at places like the bank.

My answer is No, I never had any freedom whilst I was married. Due to the whole family tagging along wherever the ex-wife went I found I just ended up staying at home.

As an earlier poster pointed out, keep the dog on a short leash and he will try to run...I learnt how to undo the catch on my dog leash and I ran as fast as I could.

Now I have all the freedom I want, plus who a girl who insists I use my freedoms. She bought me a motorbikeand is helping me to modify it as a hobby.

Wow, life is great when you can get free!!!

[thaimate]

Sounds like the guys that have their gf do all the driving in the new VIGO. These guys are late 50's early 60's been driving in their country for 40 yrs. and let the gf drive with no experience other than a small mc. Need a 2nd mother. Not to slag the Brits but most are.

what a load of b-llocks,all my friends are in their 50/60s not one of them either has a vigo ,or lets the wife drive them about .ime 63 drive everywhere myself and if the wife goes out she drives herself.

[Neeranam]

My wife also spoke very little English when I met her, and it was mainly through her, (and other non- English speaking ladies before her ), that I was more or less forced to learn to speak Thai, in order to communicate. (Immersion I believe they call it).

After we had been married for about 4 years, and several years of her attending English school, she started to talk pretty good English.

So we are now sort of bi lingual, and can converse and get by in either language. I have the freedom to do almost anything without her help, and she can converse with my friends and visiting family in English without me having to interpret, and talk to her farang clients in her salon without the need for an interpreter.

A win win situation for us both.

Sounds pretty much like us. It is, of course good to have a bilingual household. My wife learned English quickly and after 8 years can speak very well. It's strange actually as my Thai has not improved in the last 5 years or so, in fact it's probably worse as with my kids I refuse to speak one word of Thai. It pisses me off when Western friends come and speak Thai to them -usually the "I've been here for 3 years and done an AUA course" crowd who when speaking English stick "na" on at the end.

[bungy007]

Sounds like the guys that have their gf do all the driving in the new VIGO. These guys are late 50's early 60's been driving in their country for 40 yrs. and let the gf drive with no experience other than a small mc. Need a 2nd mother. Not to slag the Brits but most are.

Not to slag off people who can't put a sentence together but they are usually not speakers of English.

[Neeranam]

Sounds like the guys that have their gf do all the driving in the new VIGO. These guys are late 50's early 60's been driving in their country for 40 yrs. and let the gf drive with no experience other than a small mc. Need a 2nd mother. Not to slag the Brits but most are.

what a load of b-llocks,all my friends are in their 50/60s not one of them either has a vigo ,or lets the wife drive them about .ime 63 drive everywhere myself and if the wife goes out she drives herself.

I know 2 guys of that age who never drive themselves and their wives are terrible drivers. One has a Vios, the other a stupid big Hilux pickup, so they can do their shopping once a week in Tesco.

[PeaceBlondie]

Maybe we could start another thread on Thai partners who have been with their guy for many years and still do not speak angrit. Makes me angry. We have a neighbor who is married to an Italian, and she has learned Italian.

[Neeranam]

Maybe we could start another thread on Thai partners who have been with their guy for many years and still do not speak angrit. Makes me angry. We have a neighbor who is married to an Italian, and she has learned Italian.

I know a guy who has been here for nearly 50 years and need me to give his driver directions as his wife wasn't with us. It's ridiculous.

[t.s]

if i need a break from the wife i spend a weekend at the Atlanta

[t.s]

i tell you, TV makes expats appear rather a pathetic bunch.

[BigSnake]

Whilst in the main bank in town today, I had to wait 2 hours. I watched 8 "whities" walk in to do their banking. Every single one, however, needed their Thai partners to do the talking. I could understand if they were newcomers but some weren't.

I'd go crazy if I had to take my wife everywhere - to the bank/garage/barbers/immigration/restaurant etc.

My wife couldn't speak any English when we got married so there never was any need.

How about you?

Speaking for myself, no never had this problem, hope I never will have the need to drag the wife along to speak for me. For me that is one good reason for the retirement visa(over 50/right income level) no need to drag her along each year. Not fluent in speaking Thai by any mean but GOOD enough to hold my own, when deal with the bank, hospital, doctor office, hotel staffer, etc

[TAWP]

I'm free by choice even if the wife want to go everywhere with me if she would be allowed to.

[Birdman]

Some Westerners here have their personal Thai "secretary" for all the normal things in day by day life. Not lovers, some kind of Thai Sherpa/driver/servant, who manage everything for them all the time.

That's quite ok. So some Thais get a relatively good income and a relativity nice life.

[Gary A]

As far as the driving, my wife has her own car and a driver's license. I would walk rather than have her drive. As far as the bank, she does her banking and I do mine. She pays all the utilities and does all the shopping. One of my happiest days was when she passed her test for her driver's license. I can come and go as I please. She has that same freedom.

[Neeranam]

As far as the driving, my wife has her own car and a driver's license. I would walk rather than have her drive. As far as the bank, she does her banking and I do mine. She pays all the utilities and does all the shopping. One of my happiest days was when she passed her test for her driver's license. I can come and go as I please. She has that same freedom.

I'll have to get my wife to do her driving test - that would give me a lot more freedom I think .